Most Annoying Words In The English Language

Are there any more annoying words in the English language then “send me a pic”?

It’s like the modern day equitant of sharing a bed with a women and repeatedly poking her in the back while she’s trying to sleep.

Give it a fucking rest!

First of all, are men aware how whiny and needy they sound when they’re repeatedly asking? It’s like a small child throwing a temper tantrum in a grocery store because he can’t have any candy. Nobody wants to fuck a man-child.

If all you really wanted was a picture you wouldn’t have to ask, it’s called Facebook. Pretty much everyone on the planet has more than their fair share of pictures on there. But you don’t really want a picture do you? You want something to cum over but instead of being honest you take the slimy road. And then wonder why the girl is getting irritated with you.

Of course your cure to the irritation you caused is to butter us up with comments about how good we look or your “feeling” for us. You couldn’t be any more transparent. It’s pathetic.

What I don’t understand is, if your goal is to get laid how does pissing off women get you closer to that goal? It makes no sense to me.

The whole thing is just a blatant insult to our intelligence. Then men wonder why women think romance is dead. We think it’s dead because pretty much every nice thing that comes out of a man’s mouth seems to be followed by “send me pic.”

How would you like it if we related everything nice we said to a picture? Image this, you’re making out with a hot girl, it’s all going great then she says “oh you’re so hard”.....”But it looked a lot bigger in the pic.” Mood killer right? Cheapens the whole thing, and that’s what you do to us every, single time you ask.

There is a time and place for pictures and if you have to ask it’s not the right time and you don’t deserve one.

Play Safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

One Last Lesson

As I sit here on my bed thinking about my reaction or lack of reaction to the whole Mr. X new love thing. It finally hit me, I could lay here and cried all I wanted, but he wouldn’t care, and that’s why I don’t.

I’ve spent so many years chasing the phantom, convincing myself I’ve put too much effort and time in to give up. I think by the end it became more about the thrill of the chase and the need to win more then wanting a relationship or anything like that.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I genuinely love about him. His sense of honour, his wit, the fact his assholedom pushes me and motivates me to do my best. But let’s face fact...I’m not what he wants.

And.....I’m ok with that.

When I really think about it, he isn’t what I want either. I want someone who’ll take me as I am, someone who cares enough to spare my feelings, someone who will be there when I’m upset or hurt. I remember being in hospital, waking up after surgery in the recovery room and asking for him. But even then, deep down I knew he’d never be that guy.

The truly fucked up part of that story is I was deep into a relationship with Chicken Man at the time, who I also didn't see while I was in hospital but I digress.

After everything is said and done, I don’t regret anything and I can honestly say it hasn’t left me bitter. Some guys give you earth shaking orgasms and others just shake you to your core, changing you forever. Since I’m not the same girl I was all those years ago I can safely say he did that.

And as a parting gift he taught me one more very valuable lesson...

....You can’t win them all.

-The Honest Bitch

When One Cock Closes...

When One Cock Closes Another One Pops Up....

....The title of a blog I probably shouldn't be writing while drunk but I’ve never been one to take the dull way out and since I haven’t been able to write this sober, drunk is clearly the way forward.

Here’s how the story goes.

I was feeling very guilty about not putting up more of a fight when I warned NTB about this girl he was into. I’m calling her Ms. Train-Wreck. I knew she was trouble but I just wanted him to be happy. Little did I know she’d turn out to be Mr. X in drag. So now NTB is where I was 2 years ago and I feel horrible about it.

Well I was busy feeling bad about that, Mr. X sideswiped me with the news he has a girlfriend. I’m not stupid, I’m aware we both date but we don’t normally tell each other about it. So the news shocked me. It was really odd though, I didn’t cry or turn to my BBF in these situations (a very large bottle of tequila), I just went for a long walk and that was it.

There was one unforeseen problem though; I haven’t been able to string two words together since. Hence the drunken blogging, well that and it’s international drink something green day. Mojito is my green weapon of choice.

I’ve spent the afternoon/evening watching rugby and drinking with a bunch of my guy friends and now I’m home drinking more Mojitos (only 5 or 6) in bed and watching my sex and the city box-set. And I’ll tell you what, it feels damn good to let lose.

Anyways back to the story, after my long walk I came home to find a message on my twitter account from the evil monkey. It was such a sweet message and very well timed I could help but smile.

Then just as I was crawling into bed I noticed I had a Facebook inbox message. Thinking it was my cousin I got up to check it out, it turned out to be a message from a guy I haven’t seen or really spoken to in 2 years. We never dated we just kind of lived in the gray area.

I’m a smart girl, I know what an inbox message means but I needed a picked me up after the sideswiping so I decided to hear his BS out. It was the normal “we should go out sometime”, “I always think about you”, “you’re gorgeous”. I know that’s all code for “I’m horny”. But I needed the boost and it’s not like I was going to sleep with the guy. It was just a pick me up. And pick me up it did.

It was also a much needed reminder that when one cock closes another one pops up :-)

Play safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Teddy Bear with Razorblades

I was chatting with NTB the other night and while he was catching me up on all his gossip he brought up a blog I wrote about how women want what they can’t have. He said if that’s true he’s screwed because he won’t play those games.

In his case I don’t think he should play those games. His strength and appeal is that he doesn’t do that stuff. He’s a straight shooting guy who won’t mess you around. There a lot of girls who would appreciate that. However there are a lot of girls who that kindness is wasted on and will take advantage of it. Luckily he’s a smart guy so I’m not overly worried about that. Although there is one girl I’d like to punch on his behalf. He just needs to patient and someone will come along for him. Someone who will see him as the teddy bear he is and not a doormat.

Mr. X on the other hand is a teddy bear full of razorblades, cute and cuddly but also sharp and deadly. But what he does so well and that I wish NTB would take note of is he plays to his strength. He knows he’s an ass but he owns it.

We were debating my sports knowledge last night, and by debating I mean he was ranting at me. After he said his piece I jokingly called him an ass and his comeback was “well I am Mr. X after all”.  There’s nothing you can say to that because he’s already owned it.

Don’t get me wrong he does show some NTB style flashes of sweetness but he likes to down play those. He knows his strengths and what works for him and he’s plays to it and if people don’t like it, I can’t be sure but I think he kills them.

I love NTB dearly, he a great friend but I wish he would take a little of Mr. X’s Oscar the grouch attitude and mould it into a firmer hand. Just a little hint of that don't fuck with me attitude would go a long way in keeping some chicks in check.

So my question to you is, if you’re a girl have you ever used or played a nice girl and if you’re a guy, have you ever been played by a girl?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Good Looking Boogeyman

A reader sent me a DM on twitter asking for my advice on how to get someone out of your head. My first thought when I read the message was “clearly they haven’t read my blog before.” I’ve been battling that exact problem with Mr. X for years.

I have made leaps and bounds in the matter but as recently as 2 nights ago he showed up in my thoughts. That’s kind of fucked up to be honest because I haven’t thought about him in months and without notice “boom” there he was. He’s like a good looking Boogeyman.

I don’t have any tips or solid advice on how to keep someone out of your head. What I do when I’m being plagued by a good looking Boogeyman is stay busy; when you’re busy you don’t have time to think about it. Also I stay off his Facebook page, Twitter and stay clear of Facebook chat. That seems to help. Like they say, out of sight, out of mind.

There is a Selena Gomez song, “Ghost of you” and that songs pretty much sums up the feelings of being hunted by a good looking Boogeyman. Near the end of the song there is this line “But for now there’s a reason that you’re still here in my heart.” And I think it’s important to realize that there is a reason this person is still in your head.

I’m not suggesting that means you’re meant to be together. It just means you have more to learn of the person. They may not be easy lessons to learn but there’s a old saying a painful lesson is a lesson rarely forgotten. And that’s true. Some of lives most important lesson are the painful ones.

Sometimes I find when dealing with someone who just won’t exist your mind the harder you fight it the worse it gets. In these situations my advice is be smart. You may find yourself playing with fire once in a while ( I know, I do) but just be smart enough to know you’re doing it.

I flirt with Mr. X once in awhile and I know its dangerous behaviour and I accept that. It’s like a chocolate bar you know it’s not healthy but sometimes you just have to have it. When you do give in to that melt in your mouth chocolate goodness my advice is get your fix quickly and get out. When you play with fire it’s only a matter of time before you get burnt. You have to accept that risk and pray when it happens it’s not a third degree burn. (Yet another painful lesson you won’t forget any time soon).

I guess the best advice I could give anyone is be realistic, fairytale endings only happen in chick flicks, don’t waste your time waiting for something that most likely will never happen. Don’t let that good looking Boogeyman control you. Just move on with your life and over time his grip on your mind will become less and less.

I’d love to hear your opinions on this. What do you do to get someone out of your head?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

The Honest Bitch Rants

My computer is being bombarded by ads for “Dettol No-Touch Hand Wash System”, and since it won’t leave me alone I feel the need to point something out.

It’s the stupidest product ever made!

And this is coming from a girl, who will willingly admit she has more than a few germaphobic tendencies.

In case this product hasn’t harassed you, the idea is it’ll dispense soap for you without you having to touch the “germy” soap bottle. I have two main problems with this

1. You’re about to wash your hands, so why does it even matter if you touch the bottle! 10 seconds later your hands will be under water washing all those little germs away.

2. By saying you shouldn’t touch the bottle in fear of germs killing you, aren’t they basically admitting their hand soap is shit.

Think about that for a second. Dettol sells hand soap which is the same soap that goes into their no-touch dispenser. If it’s not good enough to kill the few germs on the bottle how is going to kill the germs on my hands?

It hurts my head to think about how someone gave the okay to make this product and it hurts my head even more to think there are people out there buying this pointless piece of plastic at 6 times the price of Dettol’s normal hand soap.

That’s my rant on the matter and hopefully their stupid ad will leave me alone now. (It’s not going to happen I know.) I have to ask, are there any other completely pointless products on the market that irritate you?

As always my dears stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

I didn't know

Anyone who chooses to have a relationship with a blogger has to be a special type of person. Not just because every detail of your relationship is liable to be posted online, the good and the bad. But you can never use the line “I didn’t know.”

You’d think it would be easier for guys. Nobody is asking them to read between the lines like in many relationships, all they have to do is read.

Shame it never seems to work that way.

They either get whinny and bitchy about what you wrote, missing the whole point and demanding you take down the post “right this second”. Or they play dumb and say they didn’t know the post was about them.

Are you kidding me? How does a person read events that they experienced and not know it’s about them? That boggles my mind. There is no way on earth they can actually be that dumb....is there?

Nothing infuriates me more than when a guy plays dumb. You may not give a shit and that’s fair enough but don’t insult my intelligence by playing dumb, I’m not buying it.

For that reason I give Mr. X a lot of credit. He may not have given a shit when I was upset but he always knew I was and why. He didn’t care but he never played dumb about it either. I respect that.

So I guess the question is do you play dumb and if so why? Or do you call it like you see it even if it might hurt someone’s feelings?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Trained Monkeys

A lot of you guys have been asking how my MRI went so I thought I'd bring you up to speed.

Over a year ago my physio referred me to a spinal specialist to eliminate spinal problems as the cause of my back pain. He was very clear in saying he didn't think that was the problem but because my spine with a little on the straight side he wanted to rule it out.

So I went to meet with the spinal specialist, and there I met trained monkey number one. Not the doctor I was referred to, but one of his bitches. While I was there trained monkey number one poked, pulled and bent my back and in the end he decided I needed to have a CT and MRI done.

A few weeks after that appointment, I went back to get my results. There, another trained monkey (trained monkey number two), whose English sucked I might add, told me there was a bulge in one of my discs but it was in the wrong place to be causing my back pain - he said in his opinion my back pain wasn’t a spinal issue. He ended the appointment by telling me if the pain got worse, I could came back and see him.

It sounded pointless to me, he already said it wasn't a spinal problem so what's the use in going back? Also I was being treated by the pain management centre so the odds of the pain getting worse were slim to none.

I was wrong, the NHS closed the centre and I was left high and dry. So over time my back pain got worse and I had to go back and see my GP and he decided it would be smart to go back and see the spinal specialist. I wasn't impressed with that idea and told him I thought it was pointless but he insisted it was the next step.

I went back just after Christmas and there I met trained monkey number three. He wasn't so bad, he poked and caused pain and decided that since it had been a year, I needed another MRI. He added if they came back clean he'd refer me on to a different department.

That was great news in my book, this may be pointless but at least at the end of it I'd be moving on to a different doctor who might have a clue of what's wrong.

I went for an MRI and as you read, it will wasn't an enjoyable experience. I got through it thinking once this is done there's a new doctor in my future, one who didn't get his degree from a crackerjack box.

I went back to get my results and there met yet another trained monkey. This one told me the bulge in my disc looks a lot smaller now, and everything else looks fine. Then he told me “if it gets worse you have an open appointment here for the next six months after that you need to go back to your GP.” And with that he vanished.

So now I'm exactly where I was a year ago, with no answers; I went through all that shit for nothing. In hindsight I'm actually worse off than I was a year ago because I'm no longer being seen by the pain management centre.

I am infuriated with the whole thing at this point. You never see the same stupid trained monkey more than once so you get no consistency. I have to go and see my GP this week and God help him because I've reached the end of my rope.

I understand back pain is a tricky thing and can be caused by many things. That's fine as long as someone's trying to do something. It kind of feels like they're trying to see how much bullshit I can handle before my head explodes and I kill someone.

The whole thing kind of reminds me of that song, 4 little monkeys jumping on the bed, but instead of them falling and bumping their heads, I want to hit them with frying pans.

Anyways my dears, I'm off to take some painkillers and research which frying pan is best for scrambling monkeys.

Stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Misplaced Anger

I guess I should start by saying sorry to Jimmy. I was upset the other day and despite the fact I wasn't aiming my anger at him he felt the outer edges of my anger bubble I'm sorry for that.

He's a good resource to have because he's a reformed fuck-wit. He's a fountain of knowledge in the inner workings of the twisted male brain.

And by fuck-wit I mean the Bridget Jones definition, self-cantered, insensitive, game playing and otherwise uncaring prick.

What happened is I was mad at Jon or as he will now be known evil monkey and instead of admitting I was angry to him I vented at Jimmy. I don't think he enjoyed that very much....oppps

Then he told me I was kind of to blame because I didn't use the words “I am mad “so how was evil monkey to now. After that bit of advice I stop asking Jimmy what he thought because I no longer liked his answers.

Am I the only person who does that? Why should I admit I'm mad, when it's obvious I'm mad?

Evil monkey and I managed to sort everything out in the end. After I finally gave in and admitted I was angry. People shouldn’t get used to that though, it may never happen again.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

MRI Panic

Sorry I didn't manage to get anything up yesterday, I was too busy stressing about my hospital appointment today. It was nothing major, just a MRI but I really didn't enjoy my last one and was completely dreading having to have another one.

I wouldn't consider myself claustrophobic or anything like that but that tube puts the fear of God in me. I can only explain the feeling as what it must feel like to be inside a coffin, a loud lighted coffin.

I didn't enjoy my last MRI but it went fine. I managed to get it done without any issues. It sucked but I figured I'd never have to have another one again.... I was wrong.

Today's MRI didn't go as well. I lost it.... Big time. I wasn't inside that coffin like to tube more than 2 minutes before they had to take me out. Apparently it's very common to have a panic attack inside a MRI machine. The tech was saying it's almost more common to have one then not. Which made me feel a little better, but I still feel like a big baby. They make it look so nice in the easy on TV.... Bunch of liars.

Luckily after I calmed down I managed to suck it up and have my MRI done. I just couldn't face the thought of having to come back and go through this all over again. So I just focused on my breathing and kept my eyes closed.  It still wasn't enjoyable in any shape or form but at least I got it done.

Needless to say I won't be agreeing to have another one done any time soon. But if it helps sort out my back I guess it was worth it.... Just. In all honesty I think I'd rather have the pain than the panic attack.

Stay safe and out of any coffin like tubes.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Nice Weakness

I'm starting to wonder if I've dealt with so many asshole men that I've lost my ability to deal with sweet guys.

It sounds crazy but over the years and many boyfriends I've become a pro at dealing with jerk man. I've become so good at it normally I can even determine the intent of the jackassness.

Guys act like assholes for many reasons, some complex and some because they are assholes. It takes a lot of experience to work out the cause and more importantly whether it's worth dealing with are not. The answer is normally not.

All that jerkiness I can deal with without batting an eyelash, hell I'm almost good at it but I've recently discovered the not so good at dealing with non-jackass men. My quick wittedness and ability to think on my feet is powerless against them.

Jon sent me a message last night saying “you're a girl that every guy should treasure J”. What am I meant to do with that? There is no quick-witted comeback for that. My only defence is to blush and bury my face. I'm just not used to that.

Normally when a guy says those sorts of things, they do it when they think they have a shot of getting in my pants. I can see through that BS and reply accordingly. I'm really not used to a guy saying those things because he means them.

It takes a lot shake me, I work customer service for many years, you name it I've heard it, and it doesn't faze me, but apparently my weakness is niceness. I just don't know what to do with it. I’m The Honest Bitch not The Honest Sweetheart.

Am I alone in this? Do you find it easier or more comfortable to deal with assholes? Or am I just weird?

As always stay and play safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Happy Super Bowl Sunday

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! I'll be the first to admit I'm not a massive football fan. I understand the game and know what's happening but I find it really slow. With that being said I wouldn't miss the Super Bowl for the world.

I watch for many reasons and none of them are because I enjoy the game.

I watch because it's a connection to home. If I was back home, without a doubt I'd be at a Super Bowl party. Not watching much of the game but it would be on. Truth be told, we’d probably do more drinking and wing eating there anything else. God I miss the wings.

I also watch for the commercials. Yes like millions of people I watch the biggest sporting event of the year for the commercials. People pay upwards of 3 million to have their commercials aired during the Super Bowl. It's fun to see what that 3 million can buy you. I can't watch the ads here, it actually shown on BBC so there aren't any ads at all, but people are quick and that's what the Internet is for.

I also like to watch so I can mock the halftime show. There was a point in time when the halftime show was entertaining then there was the nipple issue and it sucked ever since. But it's fun to laugh at.

The other reason I watch is because it reminds me of family. Growing up my aunt would throw a Christmas party every year and my memories of that are sitting in the basement with all the kids and men. We'd be playing games and they'd watching football. How the hell they managed to watch the game with all that noise I will never know they never missed a play.

So despite not liking the game I'll be awake tonight till the wee hours watching.... and cheering on Tom Brady.... Because he's hot. Yes, when I don't have a team I always cheer on the team with the hottest player and this one was a no-brainer. I'm aware this is a shallow and I don't care.

Who do you think is doing to win tonight? Win or lose I hope you have a fantastic Super Bowl Sunday and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Old Habits Die Hard

In recent months I've been flirting with a new guy, let's call him Jon. He's not my normal type. For starters he doesn't have any ego issues and he's younger than I am. Normally that would be grounds enough for me to write him off but since he's such a sweetheart I decided despite his age to give him a chance and see what happens.

It's not like the older guy thing has been working out so well for me anyways.

Despite him being a sweetheart a few weeks ago he started blowing hot and cold on me and instead of asking Jon what was up, I decided to fall back on an old habit.

I contacted Mr. X. He's what you'd call a safety net. If things turn bad I can always fall back on him. Sounds horrible I know, but he does the same thing to me. We flirt for a few hours or days (depending how bad the damage is), and once our confidence is fully restored we go on about our lives.

This time was different though, instead of trying and failing to separate him from his clothing, I decided to treat him like a failed science experiment and see what I could learn from him.

Despite the fact I want to strangle him a lot of the time, he's helpful in his own twisted way. He took the time to explain to me why guys blow hot and cold. He wasn't so useful in explaining how to fix the problem though. He suggested murder but blood makes me queasy so that idea went out the window.

I managed to sort the issue without following his bloody advice. I did what I should've done in the start and confronted the guy. But Mr. X gave me a lot to think about. Despite being an ass I'm grateful for his advice and ability to lighten the mood. He may be a jerk but he's proven himself a good ally.

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

PS Just for future reference how would you handle a guy (or girl) that was blowing hot and cold?

Red vs Blue

My brain is currently locked in a battle over two competing concepts and there's only one possible way to resolve this dilemma. So...

Standing on my red shoulder standing 5'11" tall representing all things good and honest. The one... The only... NTB

And fighting from my blue shoulder, stand being 6'2" tall, representing all things misleading and game like, Jimmy “The Ego” Jacob

Let's get ready to rumble! Ding, ding, ding

and with the first blow its NTB and his belief that you don't need to play games to be happy in a relationship, quickly followed up by his unwavering belief that a good relationship is based on total honesty.

Landing a shot of his own Jimmy with his belief that guys want what they can't have, followed up by his valid point that social networks turn females crazy.

NTB lands another punch with his point that not playing games makes relationships a lot easier.

Jimmy just misses with his idea that guys hate being compared to anyone. Because we all know guys only hate being compared to people that are better than them.

NTB misses with a punch of his own, the idea that all games are pointless. That is simply untrue. You need some teasing and playing hard to get in a relationship or you’d die of boredom.

But not one to stay down, NTB lands a huge hit with his straightforwardness because we all know men can't read between the lines to save their life.

Not one to be outdone Jimmy fires back with give the guy some space, if he likes you, he'll swallow his pride and make the first move. And he follows that up with a sweet little titbit, if in doubt start dating. Playing on a guy’s built-in jealousy and give him a taste of his own medicine.

In the dying seconds of the last and final round NTB lands a big punch of his own with “treat people how you would want to be treated”.

Ding, ding, ding, this is it, it's all over, it's all comes down to a judge's decision.

Judge 1 gives it to..... Jimmy

Judge 2 gives it to....NTB

And the third and final judge.... Has no freaking clue

While I replay this fight over and over in my head, let me know what you think. Are games in a relationship such a bad thing? Do you need those games to help feel each other out? Or is being totally straightforward from the start the best way to handle things?

Or is purple the answer, a bit from the red shoulder and a bit from the blue?

As always guys, stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Predictable Pig

In my last blog I was telling you about the predictable response to one of my Facebook statuses and there being more to the story, so here it is.

After sending me a bunch of Facebook messages he asked if he could text me. I said ok. He's known me for years and already had my number so it's not like I could stop him if I wanted to. Plus I wanted to see if I could get him to admit he had a girlfriend.

So he started sending me text messages. They started off harmless enough asking about how I was and talking about hockey, then it turned a little flirty. I didn't have a problem with a little harmless flirting.

Then it took a turn crossing that line of things you can't say or text when you're in a relationship. He was aiming for sexting and I wasn't playing that game. I have dealt with my fair share of crazy girlfriends, and I'm not looking to add another one to that list.

He eventually moved back to the harmless side of the line and we said good night and that was that… or so I thought.

For the next few days he would send me messages like “good morning, have a good day :-) x” and “Good morning sexy xx”. This struck me as strange...really strange.

I've dealt with more than my fair share of slimy guys and normally they cover their asses and don't leave a text trail for their girlfriend to find. Side note: beware of guys, who don't have any messages on their phones, they're normally trouble.

This left me wondering if he and his girlfriend broke up or if something happened because that's just not normal behaviour. Plus, part of me really didn't want to believe he was a jerk. He's the first fellow hockey fan I met here, and he comes off as such a sweet guy.

So I went into detective mode and searched his Facebook wall for answers. I didn't find any recent messages from the girlfriend however her display picture was a picture of both of them together but it crossed my mind that she may not have changed it yet, so I continued looking.  Then I saw a message with a name that jumped out at me, it wasn't his girlfriend's name but it was the same surname.

It turned out to be the girlfriend’s mother, and she was joking with him the morning after he messaged me. I can’t be sure but I don't think you'd joke with your daughter's ex-boyfriend on a public Facebook wall if they had just broken up.

So it has left me to conclude that apparently nice guy or not, he is a creep and depending on your definition of cheating, a cheater too.

I guess that only leaves two questions, is sexting classifed as cheating? And does it take two to sext?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Predictable Pigs

I was checking my Facebook the other night when I came across the above image. It kind of me laugh so I thought I'd share the humour. I didn't really think about it and went back to chatting.

When I looked back a few minutes later only guys has commented on it and they were all doing the same thing, trying to guess my bra size. My boobs are flattered but I was a little miffed. I have no problems with my boobs being a topic of conversation but I do have an issue with the fact none of the guys were single.

If I were their girlfriends I wouldn't be pleased. It just not an appropriate conversation. It's one thing if their girlfriends were in on the conversation but to randomly start guessing a female bra size, that's not cool.

After I commented trying to blow their comments off as “boys will be boys” they continue to try and guess. I knew what was coming next. I was so sure I even made a comment to my friend Jon that I was waiting for the inevitable inbox message.

And right on schedule there was an inbox message from one of the guys. It was a really sweet message but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend and he shouldn't be hitting on me. Not only does he have a girlfriend but said girlfriend is listed on his Facebook page. I'm not sure why but that makes it worse in my books.

It's just so slimy and not just slimy, predictably slimy.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, it actually has many health benefits but there is a line you need to watch when you're not single. When someone goes to the effort of moving a chat from somewhere public (e.g. Facebook wall) to somewhere private (e.g. inbox) you know his intentions aren't pure.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is how predictable it was. Would it kill someone to be original? Honesty would help too but that's as likely as Pinocchio's penis being longer than his nose. So I'll just settle for original.

Anyways my dears, that's all for now, although there is more to come. As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Dating Horror Story: Perfect Liar

Happy New Year my dears. I was reading about a fellow blogger’s rom-com like holiday (Personal Facts) and it got me thinking about a dating nightmare of my own. It’s also a great reason why Internet dating is a bad idea.

It must have been about three or four years ago and I can't even remember where online we met, but we did and really seemed to hit it off. He sounded like a real catch. He was a cute primary school teacher, who played rugby on the weekends. He was also in a band. He sounded perfect, hell, he still sounds perfect.

We chatted online for about three months pretty much every day. Then we moved to text messages. He would text during classes and before bed. We got a long great and he was super funny. After about six months of chatting, we finally decided it would be a good idea to meet each other. He knew I was having an operation and suggested he come up and look after me afterwards. How sweet is that? Spoiler alert….. It never happened.

About a week before he was planning on coming up, we got a little flirty and he sent me a picture, I won't tell you what the picture was, but in the corner of the image. I thought I spotted something.

Since dating is part detective work. I took the image and zoom in on the thing that caught my eye. Lo and behold, I was right. On his left hand there was a shiny gold wedding ring. So much for perfect…. Eh?

I decided before I lost my temper I would give him a chance to explain himself. But instead of manning up or saying something logical he told me it wasn't a wedding ring. It was just a ring, he wore on that finger.

Do I look dumb? Out of all the things a person could say, that was his story. I have very low bullshit tolerance, so I quickly told him what I thought about him using many four lettered words then proceeded to delete his lying ass.

It's crazy. How on earth did he not think I'd catch on? If you’re stupid enough to send a picture of yourself in a wedding ring, you deserve to be punched in the nuts. Not only is that a low life move to make. It's disrespectful to your wife.

Anyways, my dears, that's yet another of my dating nightmares. If that doesn't make you feel better about your relationship nothing will. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo