Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

Sunday 18 December 2022

Mr. T

 I know I haven’t mentioned it yet, but I am in the process of buying a property. I had my offer accepted the first week of August and this delightful experience is still ongoing. Friday the 16th was the deadline put in place by the top of the chain, that date has now come and gone, and I am none the wiser to what is happening.

The issue, for once, doesn’t seem to be with my solicitors. It appears to be with the sellers’ solicitors. I’ve been CCed in on a few emails, and it appears the sellers’ solicitors haven’t responded to any enquiries in over a month.  I am currently in house buying limbo, waiting to see whether the chain has fallen apart or if they were buffing. Odds are I won’t find anything out until Tuesday, as the estate agent only works Tuesday – Thursday. In the meantime, I get to be a ball of stress, and probably not for the reason you think.

This is Mr. T. I call him Mr. T because I pity the fool at gets between him and his food. The first thing you need to know is Mr. T doesn’t like me and I don’t like him, but yet I have spent more hours than I am going to admit in writing crying over this damn cat.

It all boils back to one afternoon, I was sitting on a couch with Mr. T at my then boyfriend's house and the robot vacuum started up. Mr. T was scared and not happy about this robotic intruder moving about. I put my hand on him, which normally he wasn’t fond of, but this time, I could tell he didn’t mind, and I told him it would be okay, and I would look after him. He was okay sat next to me until the vacuum bumped into the leg of the coffee table near us and jumped. But not like a startling big jump, one of those, deep in your soul jumps that are undetectable to the outside world unless someone happen to be holding you at the time kind of jumps.

I recognised that jump, and it got me thinking. Mr. T is a stray that sometimes uses this house we were in for safety and warmth, but it’s not his place and he knows that. He’s welcome there only on someone else’s terms and it can be taken away at any time. No wonder he’s an asshole, uncertainty makes me grumpy too.

In that moment I decided if a better home couldn’t be found when I moved, he could come live with me. We don’t have to get along, we don’t have to be BFFs. But he can have his own space, a place he can call his. Where he knows he’s safe and warm, that can’t be taken away. Where he can nap in peace and not worry about other cats picking on him. Something that’s his.

So, I am not stressed about the sale possibly falling apart for me. I’ll be okay, I always am. I am stressed for this cat. Who just deserves to be warm and safe and not have to be uncertain or worried. I just want him to be okay and happy and know no matter what, he has someone.

Am I possibly transferring some of my undealt with emotions onto a cat… probably. Am I going to deal with them and process them like I should, hell no. I am just going to continue crying over a cat.

Anyways since I am now ugly crying, I am going to leave this here, and go write something a little less, feely. As always, my dears, leave your thought and questions in the comments below and stay and play safe. 

Friday 13 December 2019


So, the last post I posted was about me struggling to find balance and the one of the ones before that was about goals… sometimes life tries to test us and sometimes we fail that test, and things go up in flames and it’s not pretty. That’s the current situation.

I may have lost my shit at work Saturday night, walked out and quit. That is a thing that may have happened. I knew I was stressed; I knew I was getting towards the end of my rope… I didn’t know flames were about to happen.

It’s strange, I don’t regret anything. I mean I would have liked to be a little calmer but given the situation I did what I felt I needed to. As for what’s next, I don’t know. I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow, and we will see what’s what. I’m at peace with my decision so I’m not sure what can be said on his part.

Anyways, I am off to finish decorating the tree. As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Friday 6 December 2019


I’m struggling to find balance at the moment. I know what I need to get done and I’m doing it, but I seem to have forgotten to allow time to relax and I’m struggling to see where I can even remotely fit it in.

My goal is my CPC, and I have 12 weeks before the course. There are 26 units I need to learn, and I have currently done 6. Math right now isn’t my friends. I need to do 2 units a week, and that’s a struggle, I’ve only managed 1 each of the past 2 weeks. And this doesn’t account for the fact I don’t under one of the units I’ve done. My check for understanding score was laughable. I’m stressed, and I shouldn’t be. I guess the Brightside is my scores on the other units were good.

I need to find balance in this all and I’m just not sure how. I know I will get there, but it needs to be soon. Anyways, I am off to have a nap, as I’m back at work in a few hours, like I said no balance. Leave me your tips on how you managed to balance everything I the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 10 May 2019

Not Dealing With Stress

I’ve learned throughout the years that if I ignore stress it will manifest itself in physical symptoms. Most commonly for me is a sharp pain in my left shoulder. While it sucks; I can cope with that fairly well. I handle it better than real stress anyways. That said, it appears my body has gotten wise and has upped its game.

The pain in my shoulder, morphed into tension across basically every muscle in my body. I feel like I may snap in half at any moment, my body has no flexibility. When that didn’t cause me to deal with things it moved to screwing with my sleep. I’ve developed a death gripe in my sleep. If I am lucky, I grab onto blankets or pillows and not let go. If I am lucky, I grab onto myself, which results in bruise of whatever body part I grabbed, thigh, arm, wrist.

Now, that it appears we’ve moved on to vibrating. Which it’s new and I’m already bored of. Like, come on body can you just not let me be? This one is weird. It’s like I’m shaking, but faster. Apparently, a lot of people say it feels like an electric toothbrush. I can really put it into words other than to say it I’ve over it.

I don’t know what I am meant to do to deal with the stress, to relieve the issues. My mom is dying, it’s stressful. The end of that is her dead and that’s way more stressful. Seems like I can’t fucking win this one.

Anyways, I am going to go and do something to take my mind off things. As always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 9 February 2018

Stressed For No Reason

Can someone explain to me why I feel so stressed and run down?

It’s not been a bad start to 2018; I started the year with a pay raise, I’ve finally been allowed to order my company car and I’ve only worked 5 sets of 4 so far this year, hell I only have 2 more sets before I’m off again. So, what the hell is up with me?

Ok, they are trying to screw with my contract which is a little stressful, but at least at the minute, they are not pushing it so that shouldn’t account for it. My mom has a surgery pending, but that’s still some ways off. I just don’t get why I’m feeling this way.

 I’m starting to wonder if operation be a less shitty human is the reason. I mean it takes a lot to not snap at idiots. And it takes even more to try to swallow the bullshit they feed you. And listen to them whine and moan. Being a nice human it way more work than one would think, and I suck at it and it’s still draining me.

Anyways, I am going to go and rest up before I head back to work to face another week. But before I go, I have this question for you; How do you keep your calm when dealing with assholes? Let me know in the comments below. As always, stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Friday 7 July 2017

Be Careful Who You Holiday With

Overall, my trip to London last week was wonderful; The hotel was stunning, the Book of Mormon was spectacular and Canada Day was a drunken street party and I couldn’t have asked for more. That said there was one little flaw with experience, and that was the person I went with.

I love my work wife to bits but, holy bananas we holiday differently. And that’s probably the best way to put it, we don’t holiday in the same way. And because of that I got cranky, and she’ll say without a doubt, she believes the issue was with me because I wasn’t going to start a fight and just bit my tongue, however cause and effect come to mind.

There were 3 main differences; how slept, how ate, and how we spent our free time…. Which is basically everything in the grand scheme of things.

Let start with how we slept; she is basically a toddler. She needs at least 1 nap, if not two a day and these last from 2 – 4 hours and if she doesn’t get them she becomes unbearable. I on the other hand, sleep at night… like an adult.

How we like to eat is up next. I like to explore when I’m somewhere new. Find hidden gems and try new food, eat things I can’t get at home. She on the other hand, likes fast food and sees no other options.

Last up, how we spend our free time; I like to spend as little time as possible in the room. I’m somewhere different I want to explore, shop and do things. She on the other hand is very content in the room and doesn't like to leave it. Being in the room drivers me crazy.

These are the 3 main issues; there were others, like she doesn’t tip and she comes across borderline rude when dealing with people… and the list goes on but those 3 bugged me the most.

I can hear you now asking how I had a good time, despite these little issues… I ditched her. After the shit show that was there first night; dragging her up from a nap and them dragging to a show she didn’t want to go to, but really enjoyed once I got her there. Then going to Macdonald’s for dinner…. I learned my lesson. My fun was up to me.

So, when she “needed” her nap on Canada Day I went back to the square alone. Made some new friends, met up with some old ones and partied like a Canadian and I had an awesome time doing so.

The trip back was a nightmare, but, that’s a story for another time. Anyways, I am back at work tomorrow, so I need to get my shit together. But before I go I have this question for you; what is your idea of the perfect holiday? Let me know if the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Tuesday 13 June 2017

I am Not Alright

I touched on how I was feeling unhappy at work in my last post, and that hasn’t gotten any better, in actual fact, it’s gotten worse.

I finished my last shift Saturday, and I won’t go into what happened, but the result was me being in a borderline murderous rage from before my shift even started, onwards. It’s not now Tuesday, 4 days later, and I am still pissed off.

This isn’t ok. My job should not be having this sort of effect on me. I wear a Fitbit and you can actually see the physical effect in my stats. My resting heart rate is over 7 beats higher than normal and my sleep is all over the place, I’m getting next to no REM or deep sleep. This is undeniably not a healthy situation and is taking a toll.

The worst part is, the normal things I do to try and relax and calm myself aren’t working because I can’t stay focused. I’m so not right at the minute, my brain can’t seem to reel itself back in. I can’t get stuck into a video game, one of my favorite ways to quiet my brain; I get 5 minutes in and I’m done. I can’t read a book; 2 lines in and my mind is off somewhere else. I can’t blog; I sit and the computer and the idea of writing is just too much.

I’m debating my next step. Part of me thinks I should get myself signed off work, because I’m not functioning. The other part of me thinks that’s a sign of weakness and I only have to make it 8 more shifts and I’m on holiday anyways. 2 more weeks, that’s all. The question is will I make it that long…. And that really is the question.

Anyways, I am going to go and try to get something done, but will probably just end-up taking a nap. But before I go I have this question for you; How do you refocus your mind? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Friday 22 January 2016

Leave Me Alone

Do you ever just want to stand up and scream “leave me the fuck alone!”? I don’t know why, but lately that’s me all the time. My disdain for being interfered with is at an all-time high. I have no tolerance for it at all.

Asking stupid questions, nagging, people not doing what they should; causing me to have to do things I should have to, all are flipping my bitch switch at a rapid rate.

I’m starting to think I’m part bear and should be hibernating right now. Which would explain my overwhelming desire to be left alone and why swiping people’s heads off sounds so appealing right now.

That said, it’s not that I’m in a bad mood or anything. I just don't want to go above and beyond. I want to do my job and go home. And please note I said MY job. I don’t want to extend myself, I want to coast. Which may sound bad but, Christmas took a lot of me and being sick over New Year, I need to recharge and am not being allowed to.

It doesn’t help that work is looking at a lot of changes right now; and changes and tiredness and difficult personalities are a horrible mix…. And possibly a deadly one for the next person that asks me a stupid question.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some much needed sleep. But before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what do you do to recharge? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 11 September 2015


Over recent months, I haven’t dealt with stress very well. A great example of this is after my last shift this week, I came home and drank a pint…. Of tequila. Admittedly, it worked, once the hangover pasted I felt a lot better and haven’t thought about work since but it’s not the healthiest way to deal with things.

One of my favourite and ways I find most effective to de-stress is to write. I find it very therapeutic. I just sit down a bleed for lack of a better word. By the time I’m done, I’m drained but feel so much better for it. It gives me great insight into what’s going on inside my head and normally by the time I’m done, I have fairly good clue on what action I need to take to fix things.

One of the other things I do is surround myself with bees. It’s an animal I look to for strength. I tend to do this when I’m feeling mentally weak and drained. I tend to look to pandas on the other hand when I need comforting or reassurance.

Smells are another way I de-stress. There is almost always a wax tart burning somewhere in my home. They have the ability to evoke memories and take you away. I tend to burn “Soft Blanket” when I’m stressed, there’s just something about it reminds me of my childhood and makes me feel instantly better.

Now, my problem is I know how to de-stress in a fairly healthy way, yet I suck at actually doing it. I love to write, but sex and relationships are my niche so when the topic falls outside of that I tend not to write. I suck at walking away when I need to, so actually finding 5 minutes to call upon the bee for strength when I need to, rarely happens. And I can’t really burn wax tarts at work that method is only helpful when I’m at home.

The plus I have right now is a couple of my colleagues are pretty good at reading me and if I start taking their concern as a hint I should be able to walk away regroup and not get to the point where my manager is calling me at home.

Anyways, I am going to go and edit this and crack on with a couple more pieces I need to finish before I head back into work Sunday. But before I go, I have this question of you; what do you do to de-stress? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Wednesday 2 July 2014

I Do Not Negotiate With Terrorists

This seems to be a trend lately whether it’s Barney and his emotional manipulation or the drivers at work with their blatant refusal to keep operations running. I feel like I’m constantly negotiating with terrorists.

Call me naive, but when I stopped working a customer facing role I thought my days of terrorist negotiation was over… how wrong was I. If anything drivers are a million times worse than any customer I’ve ever dealt with.

In customer service you have the power, at the end of the day, yes, you want the customer to be happy, but they want something from you so the end game is ultimately yours.

In transport the power lies with the driver, they have the class 1 license you want them to use said license to deliver your goods so the power is theirs, and my god do they know it. It feels like you’re trying to negate the release of a chocolate bar a toddler is determined to eat. You’re never going to win at least part of that chocolate is getting eaten.

As much as I keep telling myself I don’t negate with terrorist….I do. I’m just kidding myself if I say otherwise. My job title may as well be "terrorist negotiator" at this point. The odd part is until recently I actually enjoyed my job. I enjoyed going in and defusing bombs and against all odds making everything work. But lately it’s just been a lot of work and with everything so up in the air, it’s a lot of work I’m not sure that even worth doing.

Anyways, my lovelies, I’m going to go and relax and make the most of my precious time off. I guess I’ll leave you with this question; what is your favorite way to distress after a long week at work? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Thursday 25 April 2013

Well Timed Stress

I’ve been telling you guys for years I’m weird and here’s another example of that. When most people get stressed or their head becomes...messy for lack of a better word; they drink or smoke or roll up in a ball and cry, I on the other hand bake.

When my mom was in hospital a few years back I baked everyday for 3 weeks, it’s how I put things out of my mind. Unlike blogging were you have to deal with things, baking is just about that recipe and making sure everything that goes in is perfect so the end result is delicious.  

When head messiness struck me this time I got lucky, it happened to be my step dad’s birthday so I got to channel all my head messiness into making his birthday cake. And because a normal cake is too easy (and I’m crazy) I decided to try and make my first ever shaped cake.

I’d call myself an above average baker but I’m no freaking decorator, I remind you of the cake I made my mom last year.

But I thought about it and decided a keg is a nice easy shape and shouldn’t be too hard to manage. So I gave it go; I don’t think the end result was too bad for my first attempt. I’m not in love with it but I’m sure my step dad will enjoy it....mainly because it tastes awesome. The major upside to shaped cakes is you get to eat some as cut it away so despite its looks I know it tastes good.

So that’s how I deal with stress and a “messy head”, what do you do? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 19 October 2012

Lesson Learned

While researching an upcoming blog I came across a lot of ridiculous dating rules and my first response was “if you have to implement any special rules in a relationship, the relationship isn’t worth it.”

It seems completely logical, if you can’t make a relationship work with common decency, it’s just not meant to be, you shouldn’t need stupid little rules to make it work.

As logical as this seems to me now, this was one lesson I had to learn.

A few years back when I was dating The Grinch, I put in place the “teddy clause”.  This was a rule that stated every time he messed up and made me cry he had to buy me a teddy bear.

My thought behind it was if he had to send money and go to girly places to buy teddy bears every time he messed up he might change his attitude. Kind of like a swear jar with teddy bears.

The rule was pretty much completely ineffective. I ended up with a lot of lovely teddy bears and he ended up still being a dick.

Looking back now, it’s more than clear he didn’t give a flying fuck about how his actions were affecting me. What I should have done in hindsight is dump his sorry fuck-wit ass and moved on to bigger and better things.

Nobody needs people like that in their life’s, it’s not worth that headaches and stress. Life is too short to deal with assholes.

I like to try and take something positive from all my relationships even if it’s just a lesson learned and by me sharing these lessons with you guys hopefully you won’t make my mistakes. 

So what other relationship lessons have you guys learned? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 29 June 2012

Stop Telling Me What I Feel

I’m so sick of people telling me what I feel, between being told what I feel in matters of the heart and now what I feel physically; I’m about to snap and it’s not going to be pretty.

I’m a blogger and I ask for feedback and I love getting it but sometimes it lands in my inbox at precisely the wrong second and that’s what happened this time.

Jimmy over at Personal Facts, sent me a comment and it had some points and I can see where he’s coming from but because of something totally unrelated I beyond lost my cool. And found myself screaming...

“Will people stop telling how I fucking feel, they’re my feelings. I think if anyone should know how I’m feeling it’s me!”

 I flipped out like a small child and it had next to nothing to do with Jimmy and everything to go with physio #4.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting physio #4 Tuesday morning and let’s just say I should really call her psycho not physio.

I was referred to her by physio #3 because his factuality only does evaluations. I saw him over 4 weeks and over that time he sorted out a treatment plan and he seemed to really understand what was happening with my back.

Then I meet with physio #4 and well she didn’t. Instead of doing the normal first time visit stuff she seemed to already have her mind made up on what she was going to do and it wasn’t the plan #3 had laid out. 

She basically said I was fine and it’s all my head, so instead of doing what #3 said, she wanted me to come in 3 days a week and work with the occupational therapy team to build my strength back up.

Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I understand that pain can be partly metal but there is no way the amount of pain I’m in is in my head. There are days I’m in so much pain I physically throw up, that isn’t in my head. Plus I wouldn’t put myself through the pills and side effects. Hell I’m scared of hospitals I wouldn’t even go to the appointments if I didn’t think it would help.

The biggest proof that #4 is just an idiot is the fact #2 and #3 both said there is something not right with my back. They could feel something was off; they just couldn’t work out what it was. #3 actually used the words “it’s not in your head, something isn’t quite right.” The only reason #2 passed me on was because he wanted to rule out spinal problems because he noticed my spine was a little on the straight side. All things #4 would have worked out for herself is she had bothered to lay a hand on me.

Everything she said was so out of line with what pain management, spinal, #2, #3 and even what my GP has said. I was furious. Who the hell is she to tell me what I feel? It’s my fucking body; I know when something isn’t right. Don’t sit there and tell me I’m crazy, when you’re the one whose opinions don’t line up.

The whole thing had me stressed out because clearly I’m not going to be seeing her again, so I’m a person in pain without a plan or any idea what to do next. I have to give some love to NTB I was stressed for days and he sent me a short message and my tears stopped and I wasn’t nearly as stressed anymore. He’s such a star.

As you can imagine after dealing with #4 telling me I was crazy and that despite being in pain I wasn’t actually in any, Jimmy telling me how I felt about dipshit was; not so much the straw but more like the feather that broke the camel’s back. And I had a wee melt down and put a pretty hole in my door with my now very sore foot.

I’m not sure I was justified but it made me feel much better. We all have those moments we’re not proud of but damn they felt good at the time. The hole in my door was definitely on of those.

What temper tantrum moments have you had, that may have been silly in hindsight but at the time felt heavenly? Let me know in the comment box below (and I promise no melt downs when I read them this time).

I’m just trying to putting the whole thing out of my mind and am focusing on the countdown to Canada Day. I’m so excited just hope the weather and my back cooperates. Anyways as always my dears stay safe.


The Hones Bitch

Friday 17 February 2012

MRI Panic

Sorry I didn't manage to get anything up yesterday, I was too busy stressing about my hospital appointment today. It was nothing major, just a MRI but I really didn't enjoy my last one and was completely dreading having to have another one.

I wouldn't consider myself claustrophobic or anything like that but that tube puts the fear of God in me. I can only explain the feeling as what it must feel like to be inside a coffin, a loud lighted coffin.

I didn't enjoy my last MRI but it went fine. I managed to get it done without any issues. It sucked but I figured I'd never have to have another one again.... I was wrong.

Today's MRI didn't go as well. I lost it.... Big time. I wasn't inside that coffin like to tube more than 2 minutes before they had to take me out. Apparently it's very common to have a panic attack inside a MRI machine. The tech was saying it's almost more common to have one then not. Which made me feel a little better, but I still feel like a big baby. They make it look so nice in the easy on TV.... Bunch of liars.

Luckily after I calmed down I managed to suck it up and have my MRI done. I just couldn't face the thought of having to come back and go through this all over again. So I just focused on my breathing and kept my eyes closed.  It still wasn't enjoyable in any shape or form but at least I got it done.

Needless to say I won't be agreeing to have another one done any time soon. But if it helps sort out my back I guess it was worth it.... Just. In all honesty I think I'd rather have the pain than the panic attack.

Stay safe and out of any coffin like tubes.


The Honest Bitch

Wednesday 7 September 2011

Opinion Not News

It’s the wee hours of the morning and thanks to some unwanted stress I can’t sleep. I just want to take this chance to thank you guys for being there when I really needed you. A special thanks to Leanne for the best timed ehug ever. Also a special thanks to Nathan for some really kind and sweet words. I also owe a big hug to Mr. X for actually going out of his way to make sure I was ok, that meant a lot and made me feel a world better.

Instead of writing a post and losing my temper about what happened tonight I’m just going to bite my tongue for now and place a friendly reminder, consider it a disclaimer if you will.

This is a personal blog. In this blog I state my personal opinions and views on things that happen in my life. The information is most likely bias because I’m writing it. I have the right to omit certain details because once again it’s my personal outlook and I don’t like to bore my readers with irrelevant details. My personal opinions are not a 100 percent fact that’s why they are called opinions and not news.

If you have any problems or enquiries about anything on my site (video, text, imagines) contract me at and your enquiry will be dealt with in a timely matter.

I am aware I post a similar blog not too long ago but evidently it needs to be posted again.

I’m logging off before I lose the ability to bite my tongue. Sleep well and stay out of trouble.


The Honest Bitch