I touched on
how I was feeling unhappy at work in my last post, and that hasn’t gotten any
better, in actual fact, it’s gotten worse.
I finished
my last shift Saturday, and I won’t go into what happened, but the result was
me being in a borderline murderous rage from before my shift even started,
onwards. It’s not now Tuesday, 4 days later, and I am still pissed off.
This isn’t
ok. My job should not be having this sort of effect on me. I wear a Fitbit and
you can actually see the physical effect in my stats. My resting heart rate is
over 7 beats higher than normal and my sleep is all over the place, I’m getting
next to no REM or deep sleep. This is undeniably not a healthy situation and is
taking a toll.
The worst
part is, the normal things I do to try and relax and calm myself aren’t working
because I can’t stay focused. I’m so not right at the minute, my brain can’t
seem to reel itself back in. I can’t get stuck into a video game, one of my favorite
ways to quiet my brain; I get 5 minutes in and I’m done. I can’t read a book; 2
lines in and my mind is off somewhere else. I can’t blog; I sit and the
computer and the idea of writing is just too much.
I’m debating
my next step. Part of me thinks I should get myself signed off work, because I’m
not functioning. The other part of me thinks that’s a sign of weakness and I
only have to make it 8 more shifts and I’m on holiday anyways. 2 more weeks, that’s
all. The question is will I make it that long…. And that really is the
question.
Anyways, I
am going to go and try to get something done, but will probably just end-up taking a
nap. But before I go I have this question for you; How do you refocus your
mind? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
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