Friday 30 April 2021

We Met

I feel like I should have a lot to write, but I really don’t. Lawyer Dude and I finally met up last, week and it was good. He was handsy very quickly, which gave me a flashback to Hugh. But it was good.  I am glad we finally managed to meet up. And we’re still talking so, that’s a plus.

He was a total sweetheart, however a little forward. However, made me feel comfortable. It was a good evening for sure. Just haven’t got my thoughts together yet.

Sorry things post is such nothing post. I am just not with it right now. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Friday 23 April 2021

Will We?

This whole “dating” thing is just a giant headache, and I am very close to being over the whole thing again. My holiday from work is almost over and Lawyer Dude and I still haven’t met. We should have met on the 17th but allegedly he was under the weather, so we canceled. I am not sure if it was sickness or nervousness, but either way, it did happen.

We have rescheduled, kind of. We had already rescheduled once and that fell through also, so I am not holding my breath on this new date. This one is weird. I am going to go around his after his daughter leaves. So, I’ll be going over at like 9pm. This feels a little seedy, but I want this date out of the way, so I am down.

We’ve been talking since February, and I need to know if this is something or not. I need to thank you next already or move this show along. I am getting impatient in my old age. I hate that this date feels high pressure, but I am sure it’ll be ok. I just need to know.

Anyways, I need to go and have a nap. This holiday life is hard work. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Friday 16 April 2021

Still Not OK

Does anyone else have those moments where if they stop and are completely still, they can actually hear the voice inside their head screaming? Oh… it’s just me, good to know. I am not sure what is up with me, but I can seem to find any sort of Zen at all at the moment.

It’s gotten so bad, that when the voice in my head is muted, my body isn’t. I constantly feel like I am 30  seconds away from a panic attack. I’d like to say I don’t understand what is happening, but I have a fair idea, it’s more that I don’t want to deal with it and clearly, my brain and body aren’t accepting “no” as an answer.

This is the first time I’ve been off work in 6 months, and we all know what happened last time I was on holiday from work. I didn’t think it would affect me this much, but clearly, I was wrong. I know I haven’t worked through everything yet. Hell, I'm doubtful I have actually allowed myself to work through any of it. But you need to keep moving right? My mom wouldn’t want me dwelling on things, she’d want me out there kicking ass.

I need to stop this here, my eyes are leaking, and my nose is joying in, it is far too early to ugly cry. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Friday 9 April 2021

Nervous

As things move closer and closer to Lawyer Dude and I finally meeting, the more nervous I get. I am starting to worry we’ve waited too long to meet, and expectations are too high. I don’t wait to disappoint him. And the longer we wait the more my nerves grow.

I am on holiday after my next set of 4, so I expect we will sort something then. Lockdown restrictions also ease so that should make things a lot easier. Although the thought of us meeting has my tummy in knots.

He doesn’t help matters either, rather than trying to be comforting or put my mind at ease he’s reaction to me being nervous has been “suck it up”. Just repeating to me that it’ll be ok. Like, dude, I know it will be ok, but at least try to help matters when I am not feeling my best. But I guess we will see what happens.

Anyways, I am off to get some rest before I head back to work tomorrow. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Friday 2 April 2021

Lawyer Dude Red Flags


I am currently in dating hell. Lawyer Dude both ticks a lot of my boxes and ticks all my red flag, run away now boxes. I didn’t think that was possible, but it’s 2021 bitches and we’ve entered a new level of hell.

Let’s start with the divorce, he got served the papers the other day and he didn’t take it well. Like I get that it’s the end of something, you were together 17 years and it sucks. But if you’re doing to take it that poorly. Maybe don’t date yet. I took time off after Mr. X and it was the smartest thing I ever did. There is no harm or shame in taking time off to regroup. 

The next issue is the child. I have always been against dating someone with a child. I think it would be exceedingly difficult to not have that time being the other person's everything. Not having that foundation, seems like being set up for failure. I am not saying it’s impossible but difficult. And I am too fucking old to want to deal with outside factors.

Like Lawyer Dude doesn’t have me by my name in his phone because of his daughter, he doesn’t want to explain things. Which is cool, I don’t want to be explained. However, I don’t like the fact I need to be hidden.

Speaking of things I dislike, he lied about his age. he's actually 40, not 39.  Which isn't a deal-breaker, but why lie? 

But, like I said, he’s a sweetheart, really caring, funny. Has a good respectable job. For the most part, he has his shit together. But holy red flags Batman.

I don’t know what to do. I am just letting it ride for now and we will see what happens. 

Anyways, I am off to do all those day off things. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo