Friday 30 October 2015

Quick Update

I’m so frustrated this post is late, I’ve been on top of my game all month, running about 2 weeks ahead and then last week happened, which I did account for. However, nobody thinks their hangover will last 4 days and that caught me out.

Had this week been a normal week all would have been fine but it’s not. Since I broke up from work Tuesday I’ve jumped straight into rehearsals. I took this role on at the last minute as a favor, so I’ve had 2 months’ worth of work to cram into 4 and half days. I’ve barely had time to pee let alone write.

But I wanted to jump on here and post something even if it’s a crappy update post. That said, I have to go and get ready for a dress rehearsal, the play is tomorrow. Wish me luck…. I may need it. I’m struggling with a few lines…..script work has never been my thing.

Love you guys, and since it's Halloween, the sluttest of all the holidays, make sure you play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Thursday 22 October 2015

Dating Again?

I’m in the process of giving internet dating another go, although I’m not entirely sure why. Although I’m ready to date, I don’t really want to.

Larry is the perfect example of this, I spend a maximum of 48 hours a week with him, most of which I have 0 interaction with him. Yet 90% of the time I want to kill him. I’m not sure if it’s because there’s a thin line between love and hate and he tap danced across that line. I’m sure if it’s because he’s a pompous prick with an attitude problem. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m in the process of whitening my teeth and my mouth hurts not 90% of the time, but whatever the reason I can’t put up with him and I’m paid to, so what hope does the average guy have.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be alone forever, but I also don’t want anyone to needlessly complicate my life. I’m very content in my drama free bubble right now and the idea of dating alone sounds like a lot of work and a complete nightmare.

I’m sure at some point someone will come along and change my mind, but right now, no. But I’m open to the idea so I continue to look online and who knows what will happen.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep because my evil co-workers have decided to give me yet another bug to try and fight off. But, before I go I have this question for you, are relationships worth it? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday 17 October 2015

Blogging Schedule

I’ve had a few questions about how I blog and what my process is given my strange schedule.

My schedule isn’t all that weird to me, I’ve worked 4 on 4 off for 3 years now so I kind of have it down to an art. The secret, for me at least, is to forget what the calendar says. A week in my world is 4 days. So I work one week, then I’m off the following.

When it comes to blogging, week one is a write off. Due to me working long hours and not being able to get much sleep, I don’t tend to write anything during my working week. What I do tend to do during that time is write notes. Lots and lots of notes; with anything from a basic idea, quotes to outlines for whole posts.

My week off runs differently depending where it follows on the traditional calendar, but that basics are day 1 is for sleeping and catching up around the house, but mainly catching up on sleep. Day two is normally my writing day, I wake up earlymainly because I slept so much day 1, stay in my pjs and just write. I try to write as much as I can that day, anywhere from 2 to 5 pieces depending how my brain is working. Day 3 is for running errands. I’ll also use it to finish things, either housework or blogs, whatever I failed to do when I was meant to do it really. Day 4 is my “me day”, where relaxation is the name of the game. It’s my day to chill out and decompressed. It’s also kind of become my unofficial social media day… but social media is relaxing, right?

As you can imagine, my blog tends to be behind reality due to the way I write. When I use to be good at this and on the ball I was about a month ahead with my writing. At the moment I’m about a week and half. That said, no matter how far in advance I am scheduled, I like to leave gaps for things like holidays and big events so I can sit down and write them closer to the time and really capture the feeling.

Those pre-written post are kind of my safety net in case I get sick or get stuck with writer's block or the most likely of all get roped into stupid amounts of overtime. They mean, I don’t have to let you guys down, and I don’t have to stress about finding time to write.

I hope that answered some your questions, and shined a little light on how I work. But before I go I will leave you with this question; do you like to plan thing in advance or go with the flow, let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Monday 12 October 2015

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I hope you’re all having a fantastic day with the people you love most.

I’m going to keep this post super short so I can get back to the festivities and by that I mean go watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving because…. Its thanksgiving and watching it is pretty much law.

I’m feeling equal parts thankful and homesick today, I’m very grateful for everything I have and all the wonderful people I have in my life. But days like today always make think about home and my family and friends I’m not able to spend the day with. I can’t help but feel a little sad.

That said, I have a lot to be thankful for, a job I don’t hate, friends that care, family that love me, and a hockey that couldn’t buy a win….. Did I mention the hockey season started last week J Go Leafs Go or Blow Leafs Blow as the case may be. 

Anyways, I am going to leave this post at that and return to the holiday fun. But, before I go I have this question for you; what are you thankful for? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday 10 October 2015

Autumn Tag


It’s been a very long time since I’ve done any sort of tag post, they tend not to be my favourites to either read or write but I saw this one floating about and thought why the hell not. I love autumn and why not get into the seasonal spirit with this post.

1. Favourite Thing About Autumn.


My favourite thing about autumn is seeing the leaves change colour. There is something about going for a walk in the evening when all the leaves have changed, but before they really start to fall, that just makes me happy.

2. Favourite Drink



Apple cider has to be my favourite autumn drink. And because that’s something different here I will explain, it’s an unfiltered, unsweetened non-alcoholic beverage that tastes about a million times better than apple juice.

3. Favourite Candle Scent.


No matter the time of year “soft blanket” is my favorite scent. However, I have recently discovered “Kilimanjaro Stars” and it smells like an autumn night. It’s amazing.

4. Best Lipstick


Autumn is all about a vampy lip. For me, that’s either brown or purple. My favourite brown is NYC Expert Last in “444 chocolate chip” and if I want a little more gloss I’ll top it with Maybelline Colour Elixir in “725 Caramel Infused”. For a purple lip I’ll do Maybelline Colour Drama in “310 Berry Much” and I’ll top that with Urban Decay Apocalypse.

5. Go To Moisturizer


Caudalie Vinosource Moisturizing Sorbet; great on its own or under makeup

6. Go To Eye Colour 


In the autumn I tend to wear more copper colors, in with my normal browns. I like “amaretto” from the Too Faced chocolate bar palette or MAC “Antiqued” is really pretty as well.

7. Favourite Music

I tend to go to Country music this time of years. Luke Bryan is one of my favourites at the moment. That said, I’ve come to associate him with Larry and that’s kind of ruined a whole lot of his music for me.

8. Favourite Outfit

White strap top, a checked shirt and either jeans or a long denim skirt…. You can’t get much more fall then that.

9. Favourite Autumn Treat


Smores is the first thing that comes to mine. It reminds me of the last campfire of the year and brings back such happy memories.

10. Favourite Place To Be


Cooler night’s mean my favourite place to be in is cuddle up with someone special watching a film or a TV. But seeing as I’m single and going to die alone, my favourite place is under my electric blanket snuggled up watching trashy TV.

Anyways, my dears, that is that tag done, I hope you enjoyed it. I am going to go and get a few hours’ sleep, I have a busy day ahead of me. I won’t leave you with a question this blog, but feel free to leave your tag answers in the comment box below. As always my loves, stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Wednesday 7 October 2015

Purity Rings Revisited

I’ve had a lot of requests lately to revisit my purity ring posts now that I’m apparently “older and wiser and more mature.” Even funnier than the idea that I’m either wiser or more mature is occasionally add-on of “less sin filled”. I take that one as a personal insult… or maybe a challenge.

I’ve given the idea of rewriting these posts a lot of thought, a lot more thought than I normally give a post, and I’ve decided against it. Not because of the amount of hate these posts get (which for the record is a lot) but because I whole hearted agree with both the original post I wrote back in 2011 and the follow up I did in 2012. (Both posts are link in case you want to read them.)

Both posts were well researched, particularly my 2012 one, which was basically a giant screw you to the insane amount of alleged Christians who had and continue to message me to this day telling me I’m wrong, a horrible human and I’m going to hell.

The facts, the numbers and studies haven’t changed; purity rings do not work and those who take the pledge are substantially more likely to practice unsafe sex.

TV shows like Teen Mon and 16 and Pregnant, have actually had a bigger impact on both teens waiting to have sex and practicing safe sex than these magical silver rings that are meant to keep teen legs closed in the name of God have ever had.

If anything in the 4 years since I posted my original blog, scientific studies have proven these facts more definitively and me rewriting my post won’t change that. As much as you may disagree, facts are facts.

I won’t leave you with a question of the blog this time, I shall just open the floor up to you, leave your thoughts and opinion on the matter in comment box below. And as always stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Sunday 4 October 2015

Larry Silence

Apparently inquiring minds would like to know what happened with Larry. It’s been over a month since his name was even uttered here and evidently you’d like to know the why and what happened.

As you may be recalled, because of the way my shifts fell I got a Larrycation, I didn’t see or speak to him for about 2 weeks. During that time I sat down with a drink and pad of paper and wrote everything out and by the end, as bad as this may sound, I concluded I deserve better. And almost instantly with that realization his magically hold over me was broken.

This was aided by the fact when he came back to work he was kind of a cunt to me. It’s a well-known fact I don’t like that word, but I can’t think of a more accurate way to describe him. He was snappy, rude and generally unappealing. Which in all fairness, I’m grateful for, it validated what my decision.

Now, I will say this, he was going through some stuff, and we all get bitchy and evil at times when our head isn’t right. I’m the perfect example of that. But his timing on this one was impeccable.

It’s actually why I waited to write this post, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and see if he came around. Which he did, we’re alright now. But had I wrote this post my last 4 off like I planned, it would have had a completely different feel.

Anyways, I am going to go and try to make the most of my 4 days off, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; are you quick to forgive? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Thursday 1 October 2015

2015 The Year Of The Horrible Blogger

As the months tick away, I find myself sitting reflecting on this year and this blog and I hate to say it, but I kind of feel like a failure. While my number posts are up on the 2 previous years, the number collaborations and guest spots I’ve done are way down. And despite posting more, I’ve actually been AWOL for long chunks of times this year which is unacceptable. My social media game has been appalling. I’ve just been a horrible blogger this year.

And as Thanksgiving approaches, I can’t help but feel thankful for those of you that are still here despite me sucking. You guys are the first ones to know when something is wrong and you’re the first to send me messages when I’m ill. I’m just very lucky.

This blog is often me venting and releasing that inner bitch that you have to fight all week to keep in. It tends to be a little more on the negative, sarcastic, bitchy side and I think it’s important every once in a while just to let you know, the nice positive side isn’t lost me, and I know just how blessed I truly am. And I’m very thankful to have you guys in my life… even when I’m being a horrible blogger.

Anyways, I’m going to go and write a much requested post, but before I do I have this question for you; what have you failed at this year? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Tuesday 29 September 2015

Improv Freedom

I managed to catch an improv class tonight for the first time in a few weeks and I have to say I feel amazing for it. There’s something about having to be so quick and on point that clears your mind and removes any filters you have. It’s very freeing. It’s kind of how I imagine therapy must feel for normal people.

After biting my tongue all week, it feels fantastic to just let everything inside my head pop out. I love my job don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to get really fed up with the attitudes of some of the people and I’m finding it an increasing struggle not to say something.

In a fairness, part of it is I need to book a few days off and I need to get better at recognizing that and acting on it before I turn into a crazy bitch. No matter how much you like your job, there are times you just need to get away. Improv and drinking will only get you so far, sometimes you just need to relax.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, but before I go I have this question for you; how do you know when you’re due a holiday? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch

 xoxo

Sunday 27 September 2015

Bad Life Choices

Am I the only one who finds themselves occasionally doing things that they know are a bad idea?

It seems every few years, my brain enters a fuck it mode where it understands what it’s thinking is a horrible idea but rationalizes it with “why not? It’s a little bit of fun and if it all goes wrong, is it really going to make things that much worse?” And for whatever reason, sooner or later the rest of me buys that rational and goes along for the ride. And shock horror it pretty much always ends badly.

I think the last time my brain entered that mode was when I agreed to go out with that guy I was telling you about in my “Past Rumour” post. I knew it was horror idea, even though he had left, we had a lot of friends in common and I just knew it wasn’t smart. But, I thought “what’s the worse that is going to happen”, and now ex co-workers know initiate details about my sex life.

The problem I’m having is my brain is in the middle of one of those fuck it cycles right now, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before I give in and I’m left to clean up the pieces afterwards. Despite knowing full well this is a horrible, stupid, foolish idea that can only end badly.

I bet you want to know what the bad idea is, don’t you?

After radio silence for almost 2 months TPF (The Penis Flasher) messaged me the other day while I was at work. In a fairness, I didn’t really mind, when his mind isn’t on his penis he’s easy to talk to and we have a bit of a laugh. The problem is his mind doesn’t stay off his penis for long and this was no exception.

The shorten version of events is he wanted to meet up at 06:30 after I finished work but before he started for “have some fun”. Now crazy brain or not, this wasn’t happening and I’ll explain why.

Let’s start with the fact I’m not the easy, I take a little wooingor at least a few drinks. I’m not about to meet up with anyone in broad day and just fuck them, that isn’t my style.

Now let’s talk about the time frame. This is a guy I haven’t kissed, haven’t touched, haven’t spent any time with outside of work, and he’s allocated a 30 minute window at bestI don’t want to sleep with anybody whose start to finish is 30 minutes or less, I’m after an orgasm not a pizza.

With that said, at some point I predict I will give in and the "fuck it" side of my brain will win and I’ll tell you why. There is definitely no relationship to be had there, so in a way makes it’s safe. I won’t be working at the same location as him soon so if things go bad, I don’t have to see him. And as much as my brain knows better, he makes me laugh and we all know funny guys have a habit of clouding my better judgement.

That said, he breaks one of my golden rules of safe sex, which we know is condoms, birth control and a reasonable chance the guy I'm sleeping with is shooting blanks. TPF has a kid, which by all rights should disqualify him, but given how bad an idea this is, hell what’s an another one.

Anyways, I am going to go and get drunk because clearly sober me is making bad life choices and at least if I’m drunk I can’t drive making it much harder to act on those choices. But before I go I have this question for you; why do we do thing that we know will end badly? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Sunday 20 September 2015

Ready To Date

The upside to being stuck in bed ill is I’ve managed to do some research for some upcoming posts, the downside to being ill is I think it’s all ridiculous and complete bullshit. I was looking into a piece I planned to write on “how do you know when you’re ready to date again” after researching the topic for 5 minutes I lost the will to live let alone date.

Some of the “indicators” these sites were using are hilarious and clearly written by people grasping at straws. Some of my favorites include….

“You know you’re ready to date, when you’re interested in men again.” – Call me crazy, but a breakup has never affected my sexuality; my interest has never waned, just my ability to tolerate.

“You know you’re ready to date again when you don’t have any baggage left.” – Everyone has baggage, that’s what makes us, us. Whether it’s shaped you in a positive way or a negative way every relationship leave you with some sort of baggage. That's life. 

“You know you’re ready to date when your motives are pure.” – I actually laughed out loud at this one. Admittedly, I did find this one on a Christian dating site, but it doesn’t change the fact it is ridiculous. If your thoughts are completely pure when you start dating someone you’re dating the wrong person. There should be some element of rip their clothes off lust.

After that one I gave up on the subject and decided on this, if you’re asking the question you’re not ready to date and if the question is being asked by those around you, who fucking cares what they think, only you get to decide what is right for you. Remember that.

Anyways, I am going to go and try and write another post, but with that said my temperature is back and I need a nap. But before I go I have this question for you; what is the worse dating advice you’ve ever received? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Friday 18 September 2015

Sick :-(

I’m currently cuddled up in bed with a 102 degree fever so I’m afraid I’m going to have to keep this short. I think when I’m sick is the only real time I miss being in a relationship. I’m in bed achy, with a sore throat, blocked ears, sinus pain, boiling up and the only thing I want to do is cuddle up with my head on a cute guy's chest and sleep for a month.

Luckily, when the Nyquil kicks in I’ll be in a coma for the next 4 hours and any sad feelings I may have will quickly be replaced by trying not to drown in my own drool.

I’m so irritated I’m under the weather, I have loads of posts I wanted to write this 4 off, but I’m barely capable of lifting my head off the pillow at the minute.

Anyways, I’m going to go back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up, I will feel well enough to get some of that writing I wanted done. I just hate letting you guys down. But before I go I will leave you with a question: what makes you miss being in a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Sunday 13 September 2015

Past Rumour

Two new starters at work have had me on edge recently. They use to work with me 3 years ago at not my last job, but the one before. I have no issue with them themselves, what I do have a problem with is the gossip they may possess.

If you remember about a year ago, I was texted in the middle of the night with the news there was a rumour going around my old job about me. To be precise, there were two contradictory rumors going around about me  

It didn’t bother me too much at the time, yes I was pissed off, but at the end of the day I didn’t work with any of them anymore, so what did I care what they were saying. Plus in my head, I knew the negative rumour was bullshit, the man was mathematically outnumbered at the end of the day.

Let’s get to the rumour because I know you’re dying for the gossip. I don’t know if you remember, creepy dirty talk/ baby talk guy? I don’t actually remember what I called him in the blog, well, he somehow ended up working for my previous employer and he ended up going into detail with the girls in the office about what happened sexually between us. He basic called me bad lay. CM, in my defense told creepy guy, he must have been the problem because I was the best fuck he’s ever had. So you can imagine…. People started talking.

For the record, the sex between me and creepy was god awful. He made me super uncomfortable. I’m not sure dirty talk in a creepy voice does it for any girl, but seeing as I don’t like dirty talk anyways, the whole thing was just bad.  

Which is a life lesson for any guy reading this; make sure your girl feels comfortable and you’ll get much better sex out of the deal.

Now, let’s straighten something out here, because as you know my reputation is everything to me, and that’s why these two new starters have me worried. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. I didn’t sleep with/date any of these guys while we worked together. I dated creepy 5 months after he left my last employer. I dated CM 3 months after I left the company we worked together at and the mathematical tie breaker I slept with over a year after I left the company.

So there was a 3rd guy, Mr. Tiebreaker, however, he was a one time deal and he understands privacy so kept his damn mouth shut in all this. That said, he did say I was a good lay at the time. Which was surprising because everything up to the sex was great, but…. He was huge…. That’s why it was a one time thing. I wanted no part of that thing again, but that’s a story for another day. But knowing what he had said did give me the confidence at the time to let the rumour slide. I knew creepy was just bitter.

The problem is I knew he was bitter, but nobody else does. And knowing how drivers gossip….I’m worried. I don’t need to be labelled anything, let alone a whore or a slut or a bad fuck or a great fuck… which is almost worse.

It just goes to prove you need to be careful who you sleep with, because your sexual history will come back to bite you sooner or later. But I guess if a rumour is my only problem, I’m doing pretty well. I suppose, that brings us to the question of the blog; what was the last rumour you heard about yourself? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe…… and by safe I mean, wear a condom and don’t make babies!

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Friday 11 September 2015

Stress

Over recent months, I haven’t dealt with stress very well. A great example of this is after my last shift this week, I came home and drank a pint…. Of tequila. Admittedly, it worked, once the hangover pasted I felt a lot better and haven’t thought about work since but it’s not the healthiest way to deal with things.

One of my favourite and ways I find most effective to de-stress is to write. I find it very therapeutic. I just sit down a bleed for lack of a better word. By the time I’m done, I’m drained but feel so much better for it. It gives me great insight into what’s going on inside my head and normally by the time I’m done, I have fairly good clue on what action I need to take to fix things.

One of the other things I do is surround myself with bees. It’s an animal I look to for strength. I tend to do this when I’m feeling mentally weak and drained. I tend to look to pandas on the other hand when I need comforting or reassurance.

Smells are another way I de-stress. There is almost always a wax tart burning somewhere in my home. They have the ability to evoke memories and take you away. I tend to burn “Soft Blanket” when I’m stressed, there’s just something about it reminds me of my childhood and makes me feel instantly better.

Now, my problem is I know how to de-stress in a fairly healthy way, yet I suck at actually doing it. I love to write, but sex and relationships are my niche so when the topic falls outside of that I tend not to write. I suck at walking away when I need to, so actually finding 5 minutes to call upon the bee for strength when I need to, rarely happens. And I can’t really burn wax tarts at work that method is only helpful when I’m at home.

The plus I have right now is a couple of my colleagues are pretty good at reading me and if I start taking their concern as a hint I should be able to walk away regroup and not get to the point where my manager is calling me at home.

Anyways, I am going to go and edit this and crack on with a couple more pieces I need to finish before I head back into work Sunday. But before I go, I have this question of you; what do you do to de-stress? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday 3 September 2015

Potential Super Villain

Mr. X is a straight talking asshole, he’ll be the first person to tell you this. That’s something I’ve always respected that about him, he doesn’t try to hide it. He’s very honest and blunt. He cuts through the bullshit and get to the point. Which is why over the years I’ve turned to him when I’ve needed an honest opinion on a guy. When I’m looking to find out whether I’m being dramatic or the guy is a tool, Mr. X is my expert.

So when I needed some insight on an issue I had with Larry yesterday morning, I sent him a message. A message that’s probably offensive to anyone who isn’t us, but had I not worded that way, he would have called me out for trying to be PC and tip toeing around the issue.

So I messaged him with “Is there something about the Mormon Church that turns men into assholes? Or did I just get lucky twice?”

Mr. X quickly messaged back and asked what happened. I explained everything to him and his initial response was “you’re attracted to assholes”. I explained that wasn’t the case; it was actually the complete opposite that attracted me to Larry, it was that he was caring and went that extra mile. He was challenging, but unlike Mr. X he didn’t cross that line into asshole. Or at least he hadn’t until yesterday morning.

Yesterday morning, Larry was Mr. X and he made me break down and cry in a way I haven’t since Mr. X. And I’ll be honest when I realised that, it scared me. It’s taken a long time to fully recover from everything and truly be happy again and the thought there’s someone out there with the power to jeopardize that, is horrifying.

While talking things through with Mr. X he said something I don’t think he’s ever said to me, he told me I was right. There should have been a parade that followed that, I’m never in the right. But in this case, he said I wasn’t overreacting, this guy was being a jerk.  Admittedly, this didn’t make me feel any better; nobody wants to be told the guy they like is a dick, especially when you were so certain he wasn't.

Now, luckily I’m in the middle of Larry-cation right now, I won’t see him again for a while. It’s been nice up to now getting to judge him purely on the conversation rather outside factors, but now I may have to adjust and rethink how I interact with him. I may have to treat him similarly to how I treat Mr. X. Which is a bad thing per se, it’s just more calculated. And more, not guarded, but braced.

Mr. X lacks emotion, and as the past has shown he doesn’t read them very well either, which is very different to Larry, that guy picks up on everything, he can read me like a book, which in a lot of ways makes me fear him, that man has the ability to be pure evil if he chooses, I already have one super villain in my life I don’t need two.

On the bright side, Mr. X works for me these days, and every once in while he says something that reminds me he’s not pure evil. Yesterday I asked him if he thought I should invest in cats due to my impressively bad dating record. His reply was possibly the sweetest thing he’s ever said to me “no, investing that face, body, skin and kissing skill in cats is a waste.”

Don’t get any funny ideas people, he’s happily married and I’m happily not dealing with that drama anymore. I’ve moved on to new drama, which ironically started over something I thought was sweet. He wanted to know who told me to back off him. I thought it was adorable he cared enough to want to know who was trying to keep me away from him. Until it turned him into a wackadoodle that is.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, it’s been a long day, this is version 47 of this post…. I wish I was kidding. But before I go I have this question for you; what was the last compliment you received that caught you off guard? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Tuesday 1 September 2015

Follow Up Questions

I’m finding it really hard to write, partly because I’m switching back from daily posts to my twice weekly post and partly because I didn’t want to do another Q&A post so soon after my last one yet there have been a couple questions asked I feel deserve an answer.

The first of which was; is your unwillingness to find an answer a cop-out, and way to prevent yourself from getting hurt again?

Damn straight. I won’t even pretend otherwise. It’s a different way of building walls, and possibly a better one. I’m not keeping him out, I’m just keeping any “romantic” thoughts out. I just won’t let myself go there. In the unlikely event something happened, I’d react to that, but until then I’m good.

Not to mention, I’ve already been warned to back off, not that I was ever on him, but that’s a little drama I don’t need.

The final question I felt needed an answer is “can Larry write a post to give his side of things?”

NO! Hell No! I am aware we’ve done this stuff in the past, and I always try to let anyone I write about share their side. However, in this case, no. Like I said, I’m trying to stay in a little oblivious bubble and I can’t stay in that bubble if it’s in black and white.

Possibly at some point in the future, I might ask him to do a throwback piece or something, I don’t know, well see how things play out but I can’t see it being anytime soon. I’m sorry.

Anyways, I have to go and work on a few bits, but before I do I have this question for you; is there anything wrong with building walls? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And, as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Monday 31 August 2015

The Least Adult Problem Ever

I’m having the least adult problem ever, I have a week off work which to me means one thing, The Sims. However, I can’t bring myself to play because I get to the part where I create my Sim’s partner and my brain melts down. Not a problem an alleged adult should be having.

I guess, it’s a legitimate problem in an illegitimate setting, it’s just another person asking the same question just this time the person is computerised. However, computerised or not, it doesn’t change my lack of an answer. Or lack of willingness to figure one out.

Let’s be painfully honest here, he knows. He knows more than I do, which is awesome because that puts the ball firmly in his court. And while he has the ball, I can be next-door at the arena playing hockey.

All the questions, all the answers are his at this point, which is kind of nice. It gives me the freedom to just enjoy things and let things fall into place. Even if everyone else finds it frustrating including a computer program.  

Anyways, I am going to go and find a different game to play because clearly the Sims just ask too many complicated questions. But before I go I have this question for you; what is your idea of a perfect week off work? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Sunday 30 August 2015

And Then My Brain Exploded

Over the years, I’ve gotten used to being told I’m closed off and impossible to read, I’ve never understood it, I’ve never felt I am but when you’re told something often enough, over time you begin to believe it. It was just 3 weeks ago, this was brought up again when the Penis Flasher said I was impossible to read.  

Now, I have a different problem, I have a guy on my hands that can read me like a goddamn book and it’s making long for the days when I could have a thought and have it just be mine. I’m sure this has it has benefits, but, I can’t seem to get away with fuck all. I am actually debating playing a character for 12 hours a night, but that’s very draining and even then I can’t guarantee he wouldn’t see straight through it.

I posted my last blog Saturday morning after work, Larry and I were messaging; after he read it he sent me this message.

“You know I can read you like a book, right .......Not random thoughts at all, either lol”

Now this intrigued me, I mean I know he can pick up when I’m mad and upset, but I’m pretty sure his superpowers shouldn’t stretch to me wanting to grab someone and kiss them in an attempt to shut them up. So I asked the question, “What did you pick up on this time?”

He quickly replied back with “Do you want the honest answer of what I read this time?”

I, of course, said yes, I want an honest answer, because between you and me, I can’t end this open book nonsense when I don’t know what he’s picking up on.

He then wrote an essay that took a minute off my life for every second he took him to write it.

The essay was as follows:

“Ok. From the looks of annoyance and frustration about the debate, to the looks and the urge to grab me (as you said). The "playful" trying to stop me from banging my feet and the "secret" glances at my crotch. What I saw last night was pretty much the same for most the night. I'm fairly certain that if I had of grabbed you, kissed you and bent you over the desk, then you wouldn't have stopped me .... In fact, I would have put money on you wanting, nay, aching for that to happen at one point.

But, hey, what do I know .... I'm only a guy ..... ;-)”

At which point my brain exploded and the only thing fell out of my mouth and down to my fingers was “I hate you”. And I told him that. Once the little men that live in my head started putting the pieces back together, I did realize I disagree with some of that. But I’ll get into that afterwards. After I told him I hated him and that I disagreed with at least one of his points, he came back with.

“I know.

 I can't be right all the time, but the bending you over the desk part was thrown in there to "test the waters" and let me see your reaction, which I now know for sure and will help me read you more ;-)

Yes, I know, you REALLY fucking hate me .....
Your phone hasn't done anything to you, so stop saying FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK at it ....”

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk and break all this goodness down because I have a lot to say and I’m dreading editing this already.

1. The playful, trying to stop him tapping his foot - This was unrelated, at least in my head. I’ve been on a mission to get more comfortable with him so things feel more natural. Because right now normal things like touching his arm or his leg to get his attention feel wrong. And since I decided not go sit on the top desk anymore, I was having to find other ways to push myself. I can see how this could be taken for flirty but that wasn't my intent.

2. Looking at his crotch – I believe this to be utter nonsense, so, moving on.

3. The “testing the waters” comment – He literally could have read me on that one, it’s in print! I believe it was my Q&A post where I said if he tried to kiss me, I wouldn’t say no. As for the bending me over the desk comment well, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I might now.

4. Why is he testing the waters? And adding to that, I need not to be read any better…. It’s already pretty damn creepy.

5.  What does he know for sure? Because I know nothing for sure. Someone want to tell me what’s for sure? I’m lost.

And finally 6. I didn’t yell “fuck” at my phone and I’ll explain why. I was once told by an elder “knowledge has both the power to help us grow and destroy us; be careful what knowledge you seek.” And that has stuck with me. So before I ask a question I ask myself will the answer hurt me more then it helps me. If I believe it’ll help me more, I ask the question, at which point I have to accept the answer knowing it’ll help me in the long run.

Ok, I guess I didn’t have as much to say as I feared. But I think I’m still rebuilding my brain, but luckily I have almost a whole week off work now to recover and try to figure out what the heck just happened.

I may also have to take a few acting classes during the week to try and make myself a more difficult read because nobody should be able to tell that amount of detail about anyone, especially someone who has been dumped more than once for “being closed off”. I feel like I’ve gone from being War and Peace to Dr. Seuss.

Anyways, my dears, I am going to go and try and edit this mess, and probably rewrite it 12 times. But before I go I better leave you with a question; what was the last thing that caused your brain to explode? Let me know in the comment box below, and as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo