Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts

Friday, 11 October 2019

"Special Bond?"


Recently, while working out of another depot a strange comment was made that caught me off guard. The girl I was working with made a comment about how Tyler and I should get together, because “we’re prefect for each other” and we balance each other out. And all I could think is I’ve heard this somewhere before, are my reader putting you up to this?

Clearly not, as she, like everyone else at work, has zero clue my blog is a thing. I just found it so strange how everyday comments from the blogosphere have followed me into real life. And even stranger still, one of the guys from another depot also made a similar comment recently and now I’m a wee bit freaked out.

I understand… short of, where they’re coming from. We do get on well, we can talk for hours on end and he is one of the few people on the planet that I’m yet to find “too peopley”. If you’re anything like me, you’ll understand that sentence, if not, there’s no explaining that one. That said, I’m not so sure about this alleged “special bond” we have, I think some people are grasping at straws.

Anyways, I’m going to leave this with you and let you chime in, “special bond” or just a person I don’t want to stab? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday, 5 July 2019

Halfway There


Welcome to July ladies and gentlemen. The year is officially half over, and it seems like now is as good a time as any to reflex on the year so far and to see where we are with the goals we set in January. Hopefully we can point ourselves in the right direction to actually achieve some of those goals before we run out of time.

Let’s start with my “love life”. Yep, it’s so bad it gets quotation marks. Still single, still mainly ok with it. This year, I feel, isn’t the year for that. It sucks knowing time is against me, but I need to be a good me before I can be there for someone else.

My job is next up on the list. I still have a love hate relationship with it. The hate isn’t that strong at the moment, but I know it’s just around the corner. I feel my July review will be telling. I have other offers and depending on what is said and what money is offered, it may be time to move on.

Next is my blog. I am not sucking at this one. I haven’t missed a week yet. My numbers are looking good. My ad revenue blows; I think I was actually making more when I wasn’t posting regularly. But, that’s AdSense for you. I’m still not rocking the social media side of things, but baby steps. I’m happy where I am at the moment.

My health was the last goal I wrote about in January; it’s a thing. I have stuck to using my treadmill every day. I feel better for it. My weight still isn’t a focus, but I think I may be getting to a better place where it can be. I feel a lot less mentally exhausted. I think my head is finally wrapped around everything, at least for now.

And that’s where we are halfway through the year. Some progress has been made. Some more could be made. But, so far, so average. That brings me to the question of the blog; How are you doing with your goals for 2019? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday, 24 August 2018

Understanding A Blogger


It’s a rarity to find someone who understands a blogger, mainly because we don’t tend to understand ourselves half the time. I’ve often said, I don’t know what I am truly thinking until I read it back. And to find someone who is understanding of that process is damn near impossible.

If you’ve been here a while you’ll know, I’ve had my fair share of blog related drama over the years. A couple of lawsuits (all won, by the way), a couple breakups and more than a few fights. Blogging is not something everyone can handle nor understand, and I get it. The likes of Mr. X couldn’t even handle my blog sometimes, and he’s a blogger himself. Which are all reasons why I tend to keep my URL to myself.

Then enters Steve, who has challenged all my preconceived notions of someone being able to understand the process. And to be honest, I’m a little pissed off about it. Which I am positive isn’t a normal response, but I gave up on normal years ago.

If you read my last post you know Steve and I had minor issue a few days ago (a few weeks ago by the time you’re reading this). The following day he wanted to know what set me off and why I was so upset. At this point I explained, I needed to write first, then I’d explain everything. And to my horror he ok with this. He actually understood where I was coming from. What the hell?

He actually managed to explain my logic to me on the matter in a better way than I could. He totally understood what was going on and he fine with it. If he doesn’t get mad at what he reads here; he might actually be the perfect man. And clearly that pisses me off.

Allow me to explain that one; I am pissed off that for years I’ve made excuses for douchebag men who couldn’t handle the blog, when clearly the skill set to cope is out there. I’m pissed off that more than once I’ve settled for guys who couldn’t cope, when I shouldn’t have. And I’m pissed up that this gem that can cope is wasted on a non-blogger. 

Apparently, I am just pissed off, but what else is new eh? But as always, I’ll be ok. And at least now I know it’s possible to find someone who isn’t a man child about the whole blogging thing. So, who knows, maybe there is hope I’ll find someone someday. Personally, my money is still on 700 cats, but you never know.

Anyways, you beautiful bastards, I am going to go and try to shift my hangover. But before I leave you I have this question; what skill or quality have you given up trying to find in a partner? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday, 24 February 2017

Mr. X Baits Me

At this point I’m sure Mr. X baits me on purpose, he plots things to say that he knows will just niggle and eat at me and just lays back at waits for the show. And because I’m a dumbass I take the bait most of the time, and this time is no different.

I was talking to Mr. X a few weeks ago, and he came out with this line, “I always feel I get a more honest assessment of how you feel about me when my name is Mr. X” ….  I’m only human. I tried, But, how can I not bite at that one?

To Mr. X’s credit, he's right, despite him asking me flat out how I feel, I will never give him a straight answer. The most obvious reason for this is he’s married. I have a moral standard that I will not get involved in anyone else’s relationship. My feelings are none of his business.

The other reason is for own protection. As much as I have forgiven him and am thankful for how everything turned out. I haven’t forgotten. I was a mess for a long time and I can’t risk him putting me back in that space again. I’ve come a long way, but that man is dangerous. 

So why blog? I’m assuming that’s the question, or at least it would be mine.

The answer, unlike the Mr. X situation is simple, business. My Mr. X posts do very well. They are some of my highest viewed, most shared posts. I’m not sure whether it’s because people can relate or if they just enjoy knowing someone’s love life is more messed up then theirs, but they read nonetheless so I continue to write. And to be fair writing is cheaper than therapy, so I don’t mind.

I guess the question  remaining is how do I feel? And I don’t really have a good answer for that question. Do I think about him from time to time? Yeah. Do I wonder how things could have been? Of course. Do I wonder if there is a future? Once in a while, mainly when I’m stupidly drunk. Do I still have feelings for him?  I’m sure on some level I do, but at this point they’re so buried even I can’t be sure, nor am I sure I really want to know. A bit of shitty answer I know, but it's the truth... maybe I'll do a drunk post one day and we'll all find out the answer together. 

Anyways, that’s me done, I am going to go and get some much-needed sleep before I am back at work tomorrow. But before I go I have this question for you, do you ever wonder about an ex? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday, 14 October 2016

Anonymity

During a recent trip to Manchester to visit a work friend, I got quizzed on why I wouldn’t give out my URL. I was asked why if I want my blog to get hits and grow, why I don’t tell everyone. Since I get this type of question a fair bit, I thought I’d address it here.

The oversimplified answer is; I protect my URL for an easy life. I use to, many moons ago, share it freely and it resulted in more drama than one person should have to deal with. So when I moved my blog here, I decided I needed to protect myself from that. It hasn’t worked completely; I’ve been threatened with a few lawsuits, but that’s all the more reason to limit the possible damage. I’m not shy about what I do, I just need a little bit of a wall.

The less simple answer is; my blog isn’t about me…. Let me try and explain without sounding like a crazy(er) person. When you watch a vlog your opinion is swayed before anything is even said. We’re all shallow to some level. By keeping my anonymity, this place becomes about my stories, experiences and opinions and not about me per se. It allows us to connect on the experiences and opinions rather than on who we are.

I hope that makes sense and if not I’ll blame it on still being a little rusty and whole lot crazy. Before I go I’m going to leave you with this question; what question do you always get from your friends? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday, 7 October 2016

Emotionally Out of Whack

I’ve often said I blog to keep myself sane, and I think the past few months may have proven that fact. Admittedly, my back has been playing up which hasn’t made things any easier, but even bearing that in mind, I’ve been incredibly snappy and bitchy and oh so close to murderous lately.

I was so dumb, I didn’t even put two and two together until I started contemplating quitting my blog. I was lying in bed thinking about all the reason I blog and what I enjoy about it and if there’s been about I’ve been missing and it just slapped me in the face.

I have been missing this release, and without having this safe place to conduct these somewhat controlled releases I’ve just been snapping and going at people with little provocation.

I may be a self-proclaimed bitch, but that isn’t me. I tend to have decent self-control and an impressive ability to bite my tongue, a skill I mastered thanks to my many years of customer service work. Snapping like I have been doing, has been a little scary. It’s felt like it’s only a matter of time before I do something I may regret.

I’m hoping my return to blogging will help balance things out and hopefully make me a little more tolerable. Because I’m starting to piss even myself off. Which is almost impressive when you think about it.

Anyways, you sexy beasts, I am going to go and grab a shower and try and get through the day without hitting anyone, but before I do I will leave you with this question. What do you do to keep you your emotions in whack? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Saturday, 1 October 2016

Happy October Strangers

Happy October! I guess I should start by addressing the naked ghost in the room, where have I been for the past 5 months?

And I wish I had a more exciting answer for you’ll. I’ve just been an uninspired, lazy blogger, and rather than just push through I haven’t been writing. And that hasn’t been limited to my blog. I haven’t done any stories, or script work. I haven’t even been making the effort to go to improv. I’ve just been checked out.

So why am I back? Good question. I have recently had a lot of my blogger friends call it quits and it made me question my own blog mortality. And, after a lot of thoughtI’m not ready to die.

Coming to the above conclusion, I also came to the realization that if I'm not ready for the blog to die, I better write or it’s as good as gone anyways.  So here I am, back and rusty as hell.

I’m jumping right back into my Friday schedule, I know today is Saturday, but my weird brain just liked the sound of the starting on the 1st rather than the 30th better. Just like when I was actually writing before, I will be pre-writing most my post just to make sure you guys have content on the Friday.

I just want to thank you guys in advance for bearing with me while I try and shake off the rust. And thank you for still being here, I’m can honestly say I don’t think I would be if I was a reader but, that’s why you guys are awesome. Thank you guys, and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Blogging Schedule

I’ve had a few questions about how I blog and what my process is given my strange schedule.

My schedule isn’t all that weird to me, I’ve worked 4 on 4 off for 3 years now so I kind of have it down to an art. The secret, for me at least, is to forget what the calendar says. A week in my world is 4 days. So I work one week, then I’m off the following.

When it comes to blogging, week one is a write off. Due to me working long hours and not being able to get much sleep, I don’t tend to write anything during my working week. What I do tend to do during that time is write notes. Lots and lots of notes; with anything from a basic idea, quotes to outlines for whole posts.

My week off runs differently depending where it follows on the traditional calendar, but that basics are day 1 is for sleeping and catching up around the house, but mainly catching up on sleep. Day two is normally my writing day, I wake up earlymainly because I slept so much day 1, stay in my pjs and just write. I try to write as much as I can that day, anywhere from 2 to 5 pieces depending how my brain is working. Day 3 is for running errands. I’ll also use it to finish things, either housework or blogs, whatever I failed to do when I was meant to do it really. Day 4 is my “me day”, where relaxation is the name of the game. It’s my day to chill out and decompressed. It’s also kind of become my unofficial social media day… but social media is relaxing, right?

As you can imagine, my blog tends to be behind reality due to the way I write. When I use to be good at this and on the ball I was about a month ahead with my writing. At the moment I’m about a week and half. That said, no matter how far in advance I am scheduled, I like to leave gaps for things like holidays and big events so I can sit down and write them closer to the time and really capture the feeling.

Those pre-written post are kind of my safety net in case I get sick or get stuck with writer's block or the most likely of all get roped into stupid amounts of overtime. They mean, I don’t have to let you guys down, and I don’t have to stress about finding time to write.

I hope that answered some your questions, and shined a little light on how I work. But before I go I will leave you with this question; do you like to plan thing in advance or go with the flow, let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Purity Rings Revisited

I’ve had a lot of requests lately to revisit my purity ring posts now that I’m apparently “older and wiser and more mature.” Even funnier than the idea that I’m either wiser or more mature is occasionally add-on of “less sin filled”. I take that one as a personal insult… or maybe a challenge.

I’ve given the idea of rewriting these posts a lot of thought, a lot more thought than I normally give a post, and I’ve decided against it. Not because of the amount of hate these posts get (which for the record is a lot) but because I whole hearted agree with both the original post I wrote back in 2011 and the follow up I did in 2012. (Both posts are link in case you want to read them.)

Both posts were well researched, particularly my 2012 one, which was basically a giant screw you to the insane amount of alleged Christians who had and continue to message me to this day telling me I’m wrong, a horrible human and I’m going to hell.

The facts, the numbers and studies haven’t changed; purity rings do not work and those who take the pledge are substantially more likely to practice unsafe sex.

TV shows like Teen Mon and 16 and Pregnant, have actually had a bigger impact on both teens waiting to have sex and practicing safe sex than these magical silver rings that are meant to keep teen legs closed in the name of God have ever had.

If anything in the 4 years since I posted my original blog, scientific studies have proven these facts more definitively and me rewriting my post won’t change that. As much as you may disagree, facts are facts.

I won’t leave you with a question of the blog this time, I shall just open the floor up to you, leave your thoughts and opinion on the matter in comment box below. And as always stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday, 1 October 2015

2015 The Year Of The Horrible Blogger

As the months tick away, I find myself sitting reflecting on this year and this blog and I hate to say it, but I kind of feel like a failure. While my number posts are up on the 2 previous years, the number collaborations and guest spots I’ve done are way down. And despite posting more, I’ve actually been AWOL for long chunks of times this year which is unacceptable. My social media game has been appalling. I’ve just been a horrible blogger this year.

And as Thanksgiving approaches, I can’t help but feel thankful for those of you that are still here despite me sucking. You guys are the first ones to know when something is wrong and you’re the first to send me messages when I’m ill. I’m just very lucky.

This blog is often me venting and releasing that inner bitch that you have to fight all week to keep in. It tends to be a little more on the negative, sarcastic, bitchy side and I think it’s important every once in a while just to let you know, the nice positive side isn’t lost me, and I know just how blessed I truly am. And I’m very thankful to have you guys in my life… even when I’m being a horrible blogger.

Anyways, I’m going to go and write a much requested post, but before I do I have this question for you; what have you failed at this year? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday, 18 September 2015

Sick :-(

I’m currently cuddled up in bed with a 102 degree fever so I’m afraid I’m going to have to keep this short. I think when I’m sick is the only real time I miss being in a relationship. I’m in bed achy, with a sore throat, blocked ears, sinus pain, boiling up and the only thing I want to do is cuddle up with my head on a cute guy's chest and sleep for a month.

Luckily, when the Nyquil kicks in I’ll be in a coma for the next 4 hours and any sad feelings I may have will quickly be replaced by trying not to drown in my own drool.

I’m so irritated I’m under the weather, I have loads of posts I wanted to write this 4 off, but I’m barely capable of lifting my head off the pillow at the minute.

Anyways, I’m going to go back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up, I will feel well enough to get some of that writing I wanted done. I just hate letting you guys down. But before I go I will leave you with a question: what makes you miss being in a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Monday, 24 August 2015

Daily Continues

I am drunk, da drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, and I am going to have a bruise the size of a small country on my leg from a wall failing to dance with me. But it’s been worth it. I’ve had a lot of fun today. It’s been a while since I’ve been happy drunk.

Drunk has been my coping mechanism lately. Hopefully I’m  back to writing now because drunk solves nothing other than making me too tired to kill anyone the follow day… so I guess that’s a victory.

I’ve decided, I shall be carrying on the daily blog for another week, mainly because I’ve really enjoyed them. I feel amazing, my mind is clear, I’m not stressed, and I’m not struggling to bite my tongue. I love the feeling of not having anything bottled up.

Although that said, I think killed Larry off, but these things happen. I’m not really surprised and I’m sure none of you are either. It’s just one of those things. He may be ok, he might come back as a zombie, only time will tell.

I am going to go and break that golden rule, write drunk, edit sober…. If I did my editing sober, I’d never post anything interesting. I’d probably get in way less trouble though. Anyways, you beautiful people, it’s time for the question. How do you deal with stress? Let me know in the comment box below? And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Sunday, 16 August 2015

Content

I’m pretty sure you’ve all been wondering where on earth I have been lately. Not only have I been missing from the writing world, but I’ve also been AWOL from social media too, which really isn’t like me. I’m sure the assumption is it has to do with my new job and well that has been a factor that isn’t the main reason I’ve been gone.

The main reason I’ve been gone is, I’ve been content; and I really didn’t want to disturb that balance. I think it was Ernest Hemingway that said “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” And that no truer than in the blogging world, as many of you know. You sit down and pour your heart and soul into what you’re writing and in doing so, you dig and sir emotions you didn’t even know you had.

I was in a place where I didn’t want to dig, I just wanted to be and enjoy the moment. I’m not stupid, I knew at some point the bubble would burst and I’d have to deal with the under the surface stuff. But until that happened, I was good.

They say, “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.” And boy is true. I find after a while of not writing my brain become a jumble and my ability to understand my own thoughts and feelings is affected. It’s almost like I’ve been doing this so long I need to read back my thoughts to know how I feel or what I want. It sounds crazy and probably is but that’s just how it is.

Writing is my coping mechanism. It’s how I prevent my crazy woman brain from making me bat shit crazy and making me react in ways that can only end badly. It’s that outlet to work out feelings and thoughts, that make only be temporary, but been to be said to be dealt with so life can move on. Writing is my sanity and as much as I enjoyed temporary contentment….long term sanity is probably better.

So that is where I’ve been, you lovely people. I’d love to say I’m back full time, but I can’t promise that at the moment, but I am back; and boy do I have a few stories to share. I am going to go and enjoy this rare day off, but before I go I must leave you with a question. How do you make your brain a less crazy place? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxoxo

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Bad, Bad, Blogger

I have been a horrible blogger and I need to start by saying sorry and then by expressing my appreciation for those of you that have taken time to message me, just make sure I was ok.

I am perfectly fine, I’ve just been trying to stay out of my own head and live life, and it turns out that may have been a horrible idea (that blog, is to come).

I’ve been so unhappy with work lately, the last thing I’ve waited to do is sit down on my days off and write or even think about everything going on. My logic being if I didn’t focus on these negative things I’d be happier. When in reality, if I don’t use my outlets to release that negative tension, I turn into a crazy person whom I don’t really like.

However, I just wanted to thank you guys who have stuck around, and let you know I am going to try and post a couple more things this week and slowly get back into the swing of things and with a little luck, become slightly less of an evil bitch.

But before I go I must leave you with a question, because, that’s what we do here. How do you relieve stress? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Little Things

It’s amazing how the little things can change your whole mood and it’s amazing how this point has been demonstrated to me twice this week with the same issue.

I was venting to my Enigma writing partner (we really need to bring that back) Joel about the whole being lied to thing despite our conversation I just couldn’t shake the rage, I was in an absolutely foul mood.

It was getting late, so before I went to bed, like I do every night, I hopped on the computer to check my blog, and that’s when my bad mood instantly lifted. I spotted that my view were way up. And any blogger will tell you, you just can’t be in a bad mood when your views are up. Plus the more people who are reading my blog, the more people who are finding out he’s a tool so it’s kind of a win, win for me.

Then last night my 2nd Facebook account asked me if I knew the guy that blocked me and it sent me into a rage. Once again. It’s the whole being lied to thing I find infuriating. I was doing so well at acting like I didn’t care, but that pushed me over the edge and psycho bitch came out to play for a while.

Then out of the blue I got an email telling me my .com was available. So despite it being incredibly late, I set it all up. Once it all went live the excitement completely wiped out my angry. I mean thehonestbitch.com is a thing now, how can I be angry?

It’s silly, I know, the dot com doesn’t change anything but it somehow makes me feel more legitimate. I’ve been blogging nearly half my life and I’ve been blogging here for 5 years. And I’ve been given some great opportunities because of it and I’ve been incredibly blessed to have the support of so many wonderful people, but yet that dot com is the thing that has made me feel like a true blogger and not just some fake. Like I said, it’s silly, I know.

Which brings me back nicely to how something so minor can have such a huge impact on your mood. I’ve been in a fantastic mood all day, don’t get me wrong, I’m still irritated, but in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing.

Anyways, my dears, I am off to celebrate thehonestbitch.com being a real thing. If that’s not a good reason to a have drink, I don’t know what is. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; what little thing changes your mood? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo 

Friday, 28 November 2014

A Repeat Lesson

I think it’s that time of year again, where we have a conversation we’ve had many times before. Yet it seems to repeatedly fall on deaf ears or blind eyes as the case may be.

The message is a simple one; just because something is written, it does not mean the author still feels the same way.

Emotions are an amazing thing, an ever changing thing and when you write the way I and many other bloggers write, you’re capturing a moment when those emotions existed. The problem being the length of time those moments existed varies wildly.

There have been times I’ve written a blog and by the time I’ve proofread it, I no longer feel the same way. But I still post those blogs. I need to in order for the larger story to make sense in the long run. If you start omitting pieces of the story, it has a way of becoming disingenuous and that’s the last thing I want.

However, because I’m posted things I may have felt only briefly, I get incredibly irritated when people I know start questioning me about things that happened weeks, if not months ago. It’s the reason I don’t give out my URL (yet somehow people still manage to find it). I write what I feel at the time, you can hear it in some of my blog that as I’m writing, I’m working through it so there is no point in questioning me about the top of the blog if by the bottom I’m a sane person again.

People always claim they understand this, but when it comes down it they don’t. I understand it’s just human nature, but just let things play out rather than tamper with it after the fact.

Anyways, my dears, that is my, what feels like, yearly rant on the matter. Let me know in the comment box below if you have the same problem. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Lied To

I’m currently snuggled up in bed, forcing myself to write in an effort to shake my current mood. I’m not in a bad mood per se, it’s just… off.

This whole thing with the guy from work as thrown me. It’s not him not being interested that has upset me, I couldn’t care less about that. It’s the way he’s handled it that has irritated me.

I sent him a message on Twitter in an effort to get his side of the story. However, his side of the story is an outright lie. He insists he didn’t block me, however the evidence and logic strongly suggest otherwise.

So now I’m left with no answers, more questions and the knowledge I’m being lied to. So needless to say I’m a ray of fucking sunshine right now. And to top things off my hands are tied because at the end of the day I still have to work with this tool.

I’m so pissed off with the whole thing it has me in this mood where I don’t want to write, I don’t want to do anything and it shouldn’t be this way, after all I am on holiday. I should be enjoying myself, not dwelling on some loser who clearly wasn’t man enough to handle me.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and get some sleep and with a little luck things will look better in the morning. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; what do you do when you know you’re being lied to? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday, 19 July 2014

Less Like Murder

The power of blogging never ceases to amaze me; I was in the worst mood I’ve been in, in years and after a
short little blog I was perfectly fine.

Don’t me wrong, things aren’t all roses, but the risk of me committing murder and or blowing up the world has been greatly reduced. However, my work week starts tomorrow and I’m fighting off a cold, so how long it’ll last is anybody’s guess.

On the Brightside I have a whole 24 hours more off and since I’m feeling a little under the weather I think that’s the perfect excuse to have a lazy do-nothing day. What’s your favourite way to spend a lazy day? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Uncertainty

This might be the first time in a long time I’ve blogged because I’ve needed to blog rather than blogging because I want to, and am trying to get back into the habit because I miss you guys. At the end of the day we’re one big dysfunctional family here and crazy needs crazy.

Uncertainty is the theme of this blog as I’m sure you can tell since…..you can read; and there seems to be a lot of it in my life right now. And I’ll let you in on a little secret, I don’t like it. Inside my head is crazy enough, I don’t need the thing around me to follow suit, that’s too much crazynobody needs that much crazy.

Uncertainty number 1 is my job; it was announced Monday that the site I work at is being closed down and presumably relocated. I say presumably because nothing has been announced, but truck driver’s gossip more than teenage girls and we’ve been aware of new site in the works for several months.

The problem I have is the new site is about an hour and a half away. So an hour and half there, 12 hours at work, an hour and a half back, two hours to get ready for work, 2 hours to fall asleep after workif math isn’t your thing let me help you out, that leaves 5 hours. This bitch gets bitchy when she doesn’t get her beauty sleep. Yeah, yeah, I can hear you already, “she gets bitchy when she does get her sleep too”. ….charming.

Problem 2 is I crazy ex-girlfriend stalked my company online and I can’t find an application for an operator’s licence for the alleged new site anywhere. Which is worrying me…. A lot. No licence, no job, it’s as simple as that.

I am a little reassured by the fact that if there is a new site, my supervisor is leaning towards going. I don’t want to work under someone else, (that sounded a little wrong) I’m finally in a position where I can build on my knowledge and possibly move up. And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m working with the best person to help me. I may wholeheartedly disagree with his decisions at times (which is how I know it’s time to think about moving up) but I’m not going to find anyone better suited to teach me. …Shhhh if you listen carefully you can hear his ego growing.

I do have the advantage of not being tied to my current location, but A) There has to be another site for that to work and B) my pay would have to go up to match the standard of pay at that location.

The other major uncertainty is the “not boyfriend” as I call him. Barney and I have been dating nearly 4 months at this point and we’rewelluncertain. We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend, we’re not seeing each other enough to get to that pointyet the desire on both parts to get to that point is there, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon and by soon I mean this side of 2014.

Part of me thinks my best bet is to cut my losses and run and the other part is brainwashed by a man I never get to see but really wants to. I don’t know what it is with this guy, I’m immune to guy bullshit normally; even with Mr X I was able to call him out of his bullshit. This guy’s bullshit has mutated for the pure purpose of slipping past my defenses and it’s driving me crazy!

And I’m sure it’s driving me crazier than it otherwise would if it wasn’t for all the uncertainty at work. It feels like I don’t know anything right now. I don’t know if I have a job, If I'm going to have to find a new job, if I I’m going to have to move, if it’s worth moving, if there will be any staff left when we get to the new site, if there will be a new site, I don’t know when I’m going to know any of this, I don’t know when I’m going to see my not boyfriend, when I’ll hear from him, if he’ll ever be more than that, do I want him to be more than that…….hell I’m not even sure I know my damn name right now!

I don’t like uncertainty, I like to know where I stand and right now it feels like I’m standing on quicksand reaching for a one armed monkey swinging from a tree.

Anyways, that’s enough ofwhatever that was. I need to go get dressed and go vote because if you don’t vote you have no right to bitch and we all know I like to bitch. So I shall leave you with this question; what don’t you know that you wish you did? Let me know your answer to that and any thoughts you have on my mess in the comment box below and as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Written Snapshot

I was having a conversation with the guy I declared dead a few blogs ago, that’s right he’s alive....or a zombie, either way I was having a conversation with Zombie Man and he said something intriguing. He said he enjoys reading my blogs because he likes learning what makes me tick. In that same conversation he also made a comment about me having some “strong points of view” and all that got me thinking about the random comments I get on blogs that I wrote years ago.

Now I’m not going to deny having a strong point of view, anyone who has read any of my blogs can tell you that, it’s a common blogger trait however like most bloggers those views change, sometimes over a long period of time with the input of new information or other time it just takes me pressing the publish button.   

A blog is like a written snapshot; what you read is that person's outlook at that exact second in their life. 10 seconds later everything may have changed. That doesn’t make what you’re reading any less valid, that’s just life. And I think it’s hard for a lot of readers to understand that.

And as a blogger it’s hard to find people that understand that. I will always take my imaginary hat off to Mr. X, I have called that man every name in the book and I think I even made up a few and he doesn’t react to it. He understands the blogging thing. That said, he should understand it because he’s also a blogger.

I find it tedious to deal with comments on blogs that are years old because I’m no longer in that mind space, and in some cases I just don’t care anymore, I obviously cared at some point however now I’m older, wiser (maybe) and those topics, worries and thoughts have been replaced with new ones that are more recent in memory.

As for Zombie Man I am sure there is a lot to be learned about me from my blog, however how much of it is still valid and makes sense outside my crazy head is up for debate.

Let me leave you with this question, is it possible to find that “snapshot” understanding with someone who isn’t a blogger? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxo