Friday 31 December 2010

Good Bye 2010

Hey Dolls,

For those of you that have been reading my blogs for a while you’ll knew at the end of the year I normally write a very long blog summing up the year and all the events. This year......I don’t want to. Those blogs are so depressing to write and I always end up crying, that just isn’t a good way to start a new year. So this year I’m going try something a little different.

I’m going to make peace with 2010, thank it for the lessons I’ve learned and file it under done. There is no reason for me to revisit any events, feelings or problems. What’s done is done and I can’t change it.

I’ve even decided to forgive certain people that I have every right to detest and hate. People grow with time and I shouldn’t hold mistakes over them. Please don’t get me wrong I’m not stupid, these people aren’t going to be in my close circle of friends but I’ll let bygones be bygones.

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, they almost always fail. So why start the New Year with a failure. That’s just not smart. In the spirit of trying new things I’m going to make a self promise. My 2011 self promise is to remember god gave me a brain for a reason.

Basically that means I plan follow my brain rather than my heart. The heart is an idiot so why people choice to follow it is beyond me. You can think about it as a political race, who would you vote for? The smart, intelligent guy, who thinks things through and makes wise decisions or the guy who’s impulsive, never things anything through and has a habit of winding up broken? Da da da daaa...... All hail your new president.... The Brain!!!!

Not rocket science is it? I think that may be my motto for the year. 2011 it’s not rocket science. I like it; it fits in with my promise to use my brain.

Anyways dolls I’m heading off. I hope you have a fantastic New Year’s Eve. Stay safe and remember 2011 it’s not rocket science :-)

Love Always

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo

Saturday 25 December 2010

Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very same day you gave it away.

Merry Christmas Everyone,

I hope you are having an awesome day with friends and family. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you all have a drama free day and the only headaches are the Boxing Day hangovers.

I can’t help but let my thoughts drift to last Christmas. That’s probably why I’ve taken a shine to Taylor Swift’s version of Last Christmas. The song sums it all up from”your soul of ice” to “But if you kissed me now I know you’d fool me again”. The only change that needs to be made is to cross out “the very next day” and replace it with “the very same day”.

A year on I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned because of that day. However I’m still at the point where I’m just not willing to be hurt again. It’s a weird situation because I completely forgive him. It’s me don’t forgive. How could I be so stupid? Why did I let myself believe him? I have a lot self hatred over that day. I will always be my hardest critic and because of that I’m confident I won’t let it happen again. I just have to get over the fact it happened at all. I failed myself.

I hate this time of year, I’m homesick. No matter how many Christmas's I celebrate here, this isn’t my home. It feels like the longer I live here, the more I hate it. It’s becoming very hard for me to find a positive to being here. Does the feeling I’ll have when I leave here count as a positive? Please don’t get me wrong England is fine, it’s just not my home, and it’s not where I should be. I’m not happy here.

Anyways dolls I’ve off to open presents and help my mother get ready for the guests. Merry Christmas Everyone, have a wonderful day.

Lots of Love

The Honest Bitch

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday 18 December 2010

Looks like TV got one right

I like to give credit where credit is due and it appears that the TV and movies got one thing right, ghosts do appear in threes.

We all know the story; Ebenezer Scrooge received a visit from three ghosts, the ghost of Christmas past, the ghost of Christmas present and the ghost of Christmas future. I on the other hand received a visit from the Ghost of hurt feelings, the ghost of conceitedness and the ghost of horniness. Personally I think Ebenezer got the better deal

It all started last week when an ex who I actually don’t hate (rare) messaged me, saying he loved me but he was hurt by what I had said about him. I can understand that and I explained what I needed to and then the ghost went back to ….wherever ghosts go when they aren’t hunting the living.

Then a few days ago, I got a text message out of the blue from a guy I use to see a few years ago. He sent me text asking if I still live where I use to. Not the sort of question you ask someone who you having seen in years. So I said “Yeah why do you ask?” to which he replied “I just wanted to know. I had no hidden motives honest”. Bullshit! This guy is a total jackass. He only gets in touch when he has something to gloat about. After I asked why, he stopped texting me. I think I may have spoiled his little game.

Now on to the 3rd and final ghost: the ghost of horniness. I was online late last night and I saw I have a message. It simply said “I miss you”. Now messages like the always set off warning signs in my head. So I played along for awhile to see what his angle was and it turns out he wanted a picture of me. I don’t think so buddy. You clearly didn’t miss me, you missed getting laid. Why do men think women are stupid? Just be honest with us.

I’m not sure what it is about this time for year that makes men go crazy but I’d appreciate it if they left me out of it. Go fuck around with another girl because I’m not playing.

Anyways I have things to do, speak to you all later.

Love

The Honest Bitch

Monday 13 December 2010

Not moving my blog - More Details

Hey Dolls,

I think you guys would like some details on what lead to my last short update the other night. You can’t really call that a blog.

Here it goes I was getting ready to watch the HNIC and one of my many ghosts popped up. The conversation started off ok, if not a little forward on his part. Then all out of nowhere he tells me him and a group of people I haven’t seen in years have been reading my blog.

Part of my blogs charm is I can say whatever, no one knows who I am, and I’m not answerable to anyone. So I was very worried at first that people I know reading it would change things. However, after thinking about it long and hard, I realized that they’re people who I haven’t spoken to in years, why does it matter. They already have their opinions of me and seeing as we don’t they’re not good ones. And while they may hate me they’re doing me favour and helping me get more and more views.

The drama the other night wasn’t just about that. It turns out the ghost had a problem with some of the stuff I had said about him. I’m sorry his feeling got hurt but I’m not sorry for how I felt. There are two sides to every story and this blog is where I get to tell my story and how I feel. Tough cookie if you don’t like it.

Like I said in my short update, I’m very thankful for Mr. X being the voice of reason. He’s not normally so human but he actually understands the blogging world and how much time goes into not just the writing but the get readers. He may be a total jerk but I wouldn’t change him the world.

Anyways my dolls, I’m heading off. Have a great day.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday 12 December 2010

I don’t care, my blogs aren’t going anywhere.

The last time my blog was found, I ended but relocating it but not this time. I’ve had over 100 hits since I posted my last blog on Friday and I’m not going to screw my readers around. My blog is here to stay and anyone who has a problem with it can fuck off.

I’m not going to change anything or edit the way I write. I write how I’m feeling at the time and yeah sometimes people’s feelings may get hurt but it’s my point of view. Here’s an idea, don’t be an ass and give me things to write about. I won’t say sorry for how I feel. I’m not called a bitch for nothing.

Now that that’s done I’m going to go watch the Leafs kick so Habs ass.

Love always

The Honest Bitch

xxxx

P.s Thank you Mr. X for being almost human tonight. You made a lot sense and appreciate that.

Friday 10 December 2010

Here's a question

Hi guys,

I have a question for you. Do you tell Facebook if you’re in a relationship?

My answer is no, I always leave my status as single no matter what. First of all, I don’t change it because I have family on there and the last I need is to play 500 questions with them.

My other reason is I like to keep my opinions open. I’m not against over lapping relationships and if I happen to find someone better I like to be able to make a move straight away and not worry about explaining why my status says one thing and I say another.

Also I’m not a relationship person. When you change your status to “The Honest Bitch is in a relationship with Blank McBlank”, that guy seems to think he has the right to attack your wall with words like I miss you and I love you. Messages like that creep me out.

I know I’m not the only person that does this. Instead of lying some people just remove the relationship status all together and other simple say they’re married to a friend so there is no room for the truth. I’m smart enough to know if a guy has no relationship status posted he’s hiding something, But not everyone’s so smart.

When you post your relationship on Facebook, I find the relationship almost becomes a group activity. Your friends feel the need to butt in and share their 2 cents. If you’re not agreeing about something, people feel like need to jump in with their opinions on how to make things right. I’m not for one minute suggesting a relationship is completely private thing. Unless you live on Mars someone is going to have something to say about it. However Facebook has made it so everyone's relationship is like a reality TV show and we all know how reality TV show couples end up.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch

xxxx

Sunday 5 December 2010

Tis The Season

Happy December everyone,

The holiday season in upon us once again and I’m actually enjoying the build up to Christmas this year. I think it has something to do with England actually having snow this year. There is nothing I want more than a white Christmas. I’ve not had one in the 10 years I’ve been here and for those 10 years it just hasn’t felt like Christmas. So as far as I’m concerned, Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Has anyone else noticed that couples look at us single people this time of year like we’re dying? I’ll never understand why people feel bad single people around the holidays. I don’t have to pretend to like a hideous present; I don’t have to visit someone’s weird family and I don’t have to attend someone else’s bad work’s Christmas due. I get spend my holiday any way I want. I’m pretty sure I should be the one feeling sorry for them.

The other thing making in happy right now is....This year is almost over. I’m looking forward to a fresh start in 2011. This year has been trying to say the least and I can’t wait to put it behind me. I spent last New Year’s away, but I still ended crying on a couch at midnight. I guess that should have been my clue 2010 wasn’t going to be my year. Luckily I’m not crushing on anyone this year so I think my odds of a tear free New Years Eve are good.

I was trying to explain to a friend why I’m no longer dating a new guy every week. It’s simple, I feel deep down I’ve met all the guys I’m supposed to. I don’t think my answer is in a new guy. That kind of scares me because right now I can’t think of anybody I already know I want to spend forever with...besides maybe myself.

The only guy who wants to date me right now is Daniel S and the list of reason not to date him again is longer the dictionary. Daniel and I dating again is about as likely Mr. X sending me flowers.

Some of you wanted a Mr. X update, he’s alive and well and slightly less evil then I remember, Besides that I can’t tell you much, we don’t talk very often. I’m busy talking with fellow hockey fans and he’s busy doing whatever Devil does on his days off. (Just for the record I’m kidding)

Anyways Darlings I need to go get some sleep. Stay safe

Love

The Honest Bitch

xxxx