Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Friday 5 March 2021

I Miss Hugh

I am missing Hugh a lot right now, I actually cried last night thinking about him. That guy has his problems, but he always had a calming effect on me. I always smiled around him. We had fun together. And I really miss that. I was going to reach out to him, but I can’t keep doing that. I need him to put a tiny bit of effort in. Things can’t be this one-sided. And it hurts.

It sucks, I want to hang out with my friend, I want to just be without having to put on an act. It sucks that it can’t be that way right now. I just have to smile and have some faith that things will work out how they should and despite the fact I may not understand it, it is all for the best.

Anyways my eyes are leaking so I am going to go and do a face mask, and just chill out for a bit. As always my dears, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 29 January 2021


I am in a weird place right now, and lockdown isn’t helping. I feel fine, but I am not. I am not looking after myself, I am not eating correctly or daily for that matter, I am not showering and doing skincare when I am off work. I am just sleeping or trying to. I am shutting down and while that is helpful a little bit, it’s not healthy long term.

I am really missing Hugh’s stupid face right now. He’s the level of human I can tolerate. When things were really bad, I was leaning on our “friend dates” to keep motivated. It was a reason to shower, eat, look after myself. It was a reward for making it through the week. I haven’t had that regularly for a while and that shift hasn’t been seamless.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll get there. I will bounce back. I am a stubborn bitch, who cannot and will be kept down. It’s just… not pleasant. And things are ickier than I’d like. I miss the stress melting cuddles. That’s a scientific fact, not me being mushy for the record.

Anyways, my eyes are leaking, and that shit needs to stop. I am back to the only breaking down in my car and shower rule. Let me know, your coping mechanisms and thoughts in the comments below. And hopefully next week we can get back to more juicy and less feelingy posts. As always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch


Friday 18 December 2020

Friend Dates

 Part of the staying friend’s thing with Hugh has been setting up “friend dates”. We have game nights and moving nights and he tries to murder me on walks through impassable mud. It’s been fun getting to know each other without the pressure of dating. And it’s still feels, for the most part, easy.

I’ve also found these prearranged “dates” greatly beneficial to me, as I am able to use them almost as rewards. I know mentally if I get through my work week for example, If I can put on a smile and adult for those 4 days, when it’s all done, I get to be me, and have some effortless time with Hugh. It somehow makes things easier.

I am sure how he feels though. Sometimes it feels like he’s pushing me away (which I get, I’ve been there) but others, I catch him with this most genuine heart-warming smile on his face. Then he makes comments, like he feels an obligation to me which sit heavily on me. I don’t want anyone to hangout with me because they feel obliged. I want them to hangout with me because they want to, because they like being around me. Not because they have to. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

My head kind of hurts, and I am probably overthinking things; lack of sleep will do that to you. Like I said, normally things feel easy and we have fun. But I appear that way at work and I’m definitely just playing a part there. I guess only time will tell, eh?

Anyways, I need to get ready for work. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always. Stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 20 November 2020

Well That Didn’t Last Long


Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, it was not me and dating you had to worry about, it was Hugh and dating that should have been the concern. After 5 dates we have decided to call things off. Hugh just isn’t ready yet, and I completely understand, I was there. And to be honest, I had my suspicions early on this may have been the case, but I chose to ignore the red flag. I, however, don’t really regret that decision.

I am hopeful that Hugh and I can remain friends, actually hanging out, doing things friends. I’ve said this all along things are easy between us, we can giggle and talk, and we share a lot of the same interests. My guard has been down with him from almost the very beginning, I have been just me and he’s handled it well. I kid that someone has given him a handbook or manual on how to deal with me. It’s just natural to him. When my mom passed away, he was perfect. I know how bad that could have been for me if he wasn’t there. He instinctively calms me down and he doesn’t know he’s doing it. He often places his hand on the part of my back, I press against the wall to calm my anxiety. I feel better when I am with him.

It makes me giggle because he was so concerned about me attaching when we were dating. And I did, but not in the loved up mushy way. I attached in a this person is awesome and I like having them around way. He is a good guy and I like him as a human. He’s the only person right now I can be totally honest with. I feel alone and he helps without knowing. I can just be myself, no walls, no acts, just me and it’s nice. With everyone else, I have to tough, I have to be strong, I have things I needed to worry about, perceptions, gossip. None of that is a thing with him, I get to just be.

I pray, nothing changes this. Truth be told, I didn’t need or want a boyfriend or the sex (no matter how good it may have been), I needed a friend and he’s a pretty damn good one.

Anyways, I am off before my eyes leak juices everywhere. As always, my dears, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Friday 15 November 2019

I Miss Tyler

Okay, I have to admit something I really don’t want to. It pains me to say it, but I am actually missing Tyler. I’ve been on holiday for 12 days, Tyler was on holiday the 12 before that, so it’s been almost a month since we chatted, and I miss it.

As always, please don’t get any ideas… the dude isn’t into me and as a public service announcement that doesn’t make him a jerk or any of the other things he’s been called lately. He is a lovely human, most of the time, and that’s part of why I’ve missed him.

The other reason being he is the yin to my yang. Or in actual fact the yang to my yin. Yang is the positive masculine side, just in case you ever wondered which side was which. He is very good at balancing me out, actually, I, and others, feel we’re very good at balancing each other out. He is very calm and laid back and I am very “get shit done” and wound, it’s a good combination. And, as it gets busier that balance in needed or crazy happens.

The other reason I am really missing Tyler is we make each other laugh and when you’re laughing work goes so much quicker and it doesn’t feel like work. The week before I broke up, work was work and I missed having that little ability to giggle and make it feel a little better.

Anyways, I am off to enjoy my few remaining days off before I’m forced back to work. But before I go, I will leave you with this question; what makes your job more enjoyable? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 1 November 2019

No, no

Why does it seem like everyone is trying to set me up with someone? I know I said I might be ready to start thinking about dating, but I haven’t said those words outside this blog and I really haven’t been giving off any I need to get laid vibes, so, I am not sure what the deal is.

Yes, dating someone sounds nice on paper. And, yes, I am feeling more stable and less emotionally drained and able to give in a relationship. But once again, that does equate to me wanting to be set up with anyone.

Does anyone have any theories on why the sudden interest in me and not being single? Let me know in the comments below, I am off to hide from my phone and people in general. Stay safe guys.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 18 October 2019

Getting There

I keep saying it, but one day I will get crap together and I won’t be sat here on a Thursday writing a post that has to go up in a few hours. I am getting there, slowly. My new normal is becoming just that, normal. I am still not on top of everything like I would like to be, but I am nowhere near as overwhelmed as I was.

I won’t pretend for one second any of this has been easy, I have blog upon blog proving otherwise. I’m just lucky the small circle of people I can stomach are awesome. Even if they have no clue what do when I burst into tears for no apparent reason down the phone at them.

I will get there, and back to my normal, on top of everything self. I’m learning I need to just be patient with myself. Easier said than done.

Anyways, I am off to do my treadmill and try and get something done before I head back to work tomorrow. I shall leave you with this question before I go though, how do you stay on top of everything? Let me know in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Friday 11 October 2019

"Special Bond?"

Recently, while working out of another depot a strange comment was made that caught me off guard. The girl I was working with made a comment about how Tyler and I should get together, because “we’re prefect for each other” and we balance each other out. And all I could think is I’ve heard this somewhere before, are my reader putting you up to this?

Clearly not, as she, like everyone else at work, has zero clue my blog is a thing. I just found it so strange how everyday comments from the blogosphere have followed me into real life. And even stranger still, one of the guys from another depot also made a similar comment recently and now I’m a wee bit freaked out.

I understand… short of, where they’re coming from. We do get on well, we can talk for hours on end and he is one of the few people on the planet that I’m yet to find “too peopley”. If you’re anything like me, you’ll understand that sentence, if not, there’s no explaining that one. That said, I’m not so sure about this alleged “special bond” we have, I think some people are grasping at straws.

Anyways, I’m going to leave this with you and let you chime in, “special bond” or just a person I don’t want to stab? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay, and play, safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 28 June 2019

Friends In Low Places

As much as I can find my job soul sucking and absolutely hate it at times, I also realise I am very lucky to work with the bunch of people I do. Night workers in general tend to have closer bonds. I think it has to do with having no management around and having to work together to make things work. But the group I currently have a special and just when you’re at your lowest they have a way of reminding of that.

Recently I was thrown to the sharks, made to cover 3 contracts with next to no training. Admittedly, I had done one of them before, however, that was 3 and half years ago, but my training on that was seriously outdated. My teammates around the country, knowing I was struggling, jumped in to save me. Nobody had to do anything, but without evening asking they happily helped.

I couldn’t be more thankful or grateful for the team of people I have around me. The job may suck, but the people are second to none. And, it just goes to show it’s good to have friends in low places.

Love ya,

The Honest Bitch

Friday 7 December 2018


Happy December! Can you believe it’s already here and this horrible year is almost over? However, before we get to that finish line, we must make it make it through one last hell, and that hell is known as peak.

Working in transport, peak is a unique beast. It's not quite as bad as retail, but it’s close. However, in retail most the people you meet are somewhat in the Christmas spirit and a little more joyful and in transport you’re working with homicidal elves.

While dodging the wrath of the homicidal elves, during peak I am also forced to work with my opposite. My opposite is quite the character to say the least. He is a character I’d like to see repeatedly run a cliff, if I am being completely honest. Having to work with him and dealing with the evil elves means this time of year is very stressful and does not always bring in the best in me.

Luckily, I am blessed with some awesome co-workers based all over the country who do a fantastic job of keeping me sane… ish. I mean we all work nights so sane isn’t really a thing we do, but that may be why it works. We’re good at see the funny side of things  and luckily, most of us came play off each other and bring each other back when the doom and gloom creeps in.

Anyways, I am going to love you and leave you. But, before I go, I have this question for, what is the best part of your job? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 26 October 2018

Different Friends For Different Seasons

Aristotle said there are 3 types of friendships; Friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure and friendships of the good. Personally, I’m not sure those are the titles I would have gone with, but there are definitely different type friendships, and each serves a purpose, and each has a time and place.

I’ve never classed or even thought about my friends in this way. However, I have noticed recently I’ve been pulling away from certain people. I’ve been slowly discovering with everything going on in my life, certain friends just aren’t a good fit for me right now. It’s not that we’ve fallen out or I dislike them or anything like that. It’s just they aren’t what I need in my life right now.

My work bestie up in Manchester is the best example of this. If we were going to classify the friendship it would fall under that “utility” category. We both serve a purpose to each other. However, right now, I don’t have it in me to serve that purpose. She phones me, and I know what I’m supposed to say, but I just don’t want to. I don’t want to play that part right now. It takes so much energy and I don’t get anything positive from it.

On the flip side of that, when I speak to Steve’s brother Tyler, who also works for the company, I get something positive from that. For the record, we have a very different relationship. Tyler reminds me of my drama geek friends. He is someone I can just be stupid with. We spend our evenings at work singing at each other down the phone or sending each other ridiculous Snapchat pictures. There is no worry about how I look or anything like that; it’s just fun and that’s what I need right now.

When it comes to Steve, that’s where things get complicated. When he’s himself, it’s all golden. I could happily spend hours just talking to him. However, recently he’s been prone to some bad moods. I’m not sure whether works is getting to him or what, but I can’t. They say bad moods are contagious and I’ve been very susceptible to them recently. If there is a hint of a mood around me, I seem to catch it. So, when he’s in a mood, for my own sanity I steer clear.

Then you have the gay husband, who at the moment I am avoiding. Once again, we haven’t fallen out or anything like that. The issue I am having with him is different than the others. The problem with him is the way he looks at me, he has what I call “sad eyes”. He’s treating me differently and questioning my choices. He’s just not being real with me; it’s as if he thinks I’m about to break at any moment. I understand he has my best interests at heart, but I don’t like the way he’s going about it. It’s not what I need and it's definitely not what I want. I don’t want to live in Candy-coated Sugar Land, I want people to be real with me, and if it gets too much, like Steve and his moods, I’ll back off. That’s on me. Fake has never been a thing I do or deal with and it’s sure as hell is not about to start now.

Anyways, my dears, I am going to go and enjoy what is left of my day off, but before I go I have this question for you; What do you do to look after yourself? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Sunday 10 May 2015

Bad, Bad, Blogger

I have been a horrible blogger and I need to start by saying sorry and then by expressing my appreciation for those of you that have taken time to message me, just make sure I was ok.

I am perfectly fine, I’ve just been trying to stay out of my own head and live life, and it turns out that may have been a horrible idea (that blog, is to come).

I’ve been so unhappy with work lately, the last thing I’ve waited to do is sit down on my days off and write or even think about everything going on. My logic being if I didn’t focus on these negative things I’d be happier. When in reality, if I don’t use my outlets to release that negative tension, I turn into a crazy person whom I don’t really like.

However, I just wanted to thank you guys who have stuck around, and let you know I am going to try and post a couple more things this week and slowly get back into the swing of things and with a little luck, become slightly less of an evil bitch.

But before I go I must leave you with a question, because, that’s what we do here. How do you relieve stress? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Thursday 12 February 2015

Night Shift Problems

As I’m sure most of you know I work nights and I’m probably one of the very few people on this planet that actually enjoys it. With no upper management around I tend to find myself in a lot less trouble than I otherwise would. That, and, I’m naturally a night owl. This all seems perfectly normal to me, however, everyone else seem to have difficulty grasping it.

I posted to Facebook my first day off last week, that I was enjoying a drink or 6 to which I got a snotty comment back saying “you’re drinking on a Monday?”. I guess if you follow a traditional calendar I was drinking on a Monday, however, I happen to work 4 on, 4 off, so in my world days of the week mean nothing. Like right now my computer tells me it’s Thursday, however, to me, it’s day 4 of 4 off. And tomorrow the rest of the world thinks it’s Friday and the start of the weekend, however, to me, it’s 1 of 4.  

I’m blessed that a lot of my friends also work nights, so I don’t get a lot people trying to call me in the middle of the day just wanting to talk, just evil delivery men who I'm pretty sure hoard everything until I’m back at work.

The only other issue I have is the judgmental Tesco lady, who looks at me like I’m the devil, when I buy alcohol at 7 am. When I finish a 12 hour shift, I have the right to cold beer without some women in her 60’s judging me, because clearly as life decisions go hers weren’t great.

Anyways, seeing how it’s 4 of 4 and I’m sadly back at work tomorrow, I’m off to for a glass of something containing alcohol and to be judged by the rest of the world for doing so. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; have you ever worked nights and did you enjoy it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Monday 12 August 2013

Sleep, Cuddles and Friends

After my last blog I think it’s time to get back to writing about penis because let’s be honest they’re more fun to read and write about and for the most part they don’t result in a soggy keyboard.

Last night when I woke up about midnight (slightly hung-over) I noticed a text message on my phone from an old friend. It said he was house sitting for his mom and asked if I wanted to sleep over.

Don’t get any weird ideas, when he says sleep he means sleep. We use to do it all the time as teenagers he’d come over to mine or I’d go around his at silly am and just cuddle up and sleep. There’s never been anything sexual between us.

I sent a message back saying I’d love to and he quickly sent me a message back telling me I know the drill. So I slipped on my slippers and grabbed the spare key and went around.

I let myself in and went up to his room and crawled into bed next to him. He put his arm around me and I snuggled up into the comfy chest nook, gave his chest a little kiss and he kissed the top of my head and we fell asleep.

This morning was precious, I woke about 5am and was just laying there snuggled up thinking; about 15 minutes later he woke up and slowly moved his head and neck around to get a look at my face and said “you’re really not happy are you”. I just closed my eyes and shook my head. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me the biggest hug; and reminded me that work isn’t the real world and in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter. I don’t get upset when a stranger from Kalamazoo leaves me a comment on my blog calling me a ugly whore so why should I get upset over what strangers at work thinks?......The guy makes a good point.

He then tickled me to get a smile and suggested we go out for breakfast, I reminded him it was 5:30am on a Sunday so going out for food wasn’t happening so he said “well let’s make breakfast then”. We went down stairs and got covered in flour while making bacon and pancakes and then cuddled up on the couch watching old time cartoons on YouTube.

Sometimes all you need is a dear friend to put things in prospective and to pull you out of your funk and luckily I have some awesome friends and some pretty awesome readers too.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch  

Sunday 9 June 2013

Reasons to Kick Men in Their Junk

I was in bed the other night, struggling to keep my eyes open when my phone started ringing; that’s never a good sign, I am a text person. I looked at the phone and saw Hope’s name, then notice it was only 11 o’clock; I knew she had a date with her......I’m going to call him her boyfriend because it’s easier than trying to explain their actual relationship, so I was little worried why she was calling.

When I picked up all I could hear is her crying, knowing I had no hope of understanding a word of it over the phone I asked her if she was home, I assumed she said yes  (I really couldn’t understand a word she was saying) so I told her I’d be right over. Luckily she lives pretty close so I put on my dressing grown and pink fluffy slipper boots and walked around.

When I got there she was face down on the coach still crying, I sat on the edge of the couch and she didn’t react to me being there. I’ve said this many times but this is my friendship specialty so I know from experience that's a bad sign, normally people sit up, hug you and make your shoulder all wet. Luckily I have a trick to fix this, so I walked into her kitchen and took a bottle of wine (if you can call Lambrini wine) out of the fridge, sat down on the floor next to the couch, opened the bottle and offered it to her (this isn’t the time for glasses). She sat up and took the bottle from me.

After most of the bottle was gone, and most the tears stopped I asked her what happened.  She down the rest of the bottle, got up and got another one, came back and told me the story. Her and Platypus (he’s Australian and a mammal so why not) had gone out and after dinner they went for a drive, they parked somewhere quiet and one thing led to another and they didn’t have sex but to put it....hmmmm......a DNA handshake happened.

When all that was finished they were talking and he casually mentioned he was tired because the night before he had a date and that women didn’t leave his place until he left to pick up Hope. I’m not sure how but Hope kept her cool and told Platypus to drive her home. Once she got in she lost it and called me.

I then took the wine from her and had some myself, because sober isn’t the answer to that problem. We processed to get trashed and talk shit about Platypus. I then asked her how she managed not to kick him in the balls, after hearing that.  She said she was raised that there is never a valid reason to kick a man in his privates. I looked her in the eyes and said “honey, that's bullshit. And a guy being a dick to you while there are still remnants of his cum on your person is just ONE of the many valid reasons to kick a guy in his junk”.  We then continued to drink and crack jokes at Platypus’s expense until the wee hours of the morning, when she fell asleep and I walked home getting many strange looks for people walking their dogs.

So I have to ask; what other valid reasons can you think of to kick a man in his junk? Let me hear them in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Wednesday 29 May 2013

The Great Escape

I escaped and sadly there was no pink bus, or pink train or pink plane involved, actually I was involved very little in the actual maybe the title should be “I’ve been freed!”

What actually happened is I had a conversation with the job centre and the woman was asking about my hours and what I had been doing at this place. I told her I was working 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday and that I hadn’t been doing much, apart from typing some stuff up word for word. When she heard that she was instantly unhappy. I thought I was unhappy she raised the bar.

She then asked me to speak to a manager who asked me the same questions and she wasn’t happy either, she was also a little frustrated by the fact the company I was working for and the company on their records wasn't the same. She then passed me on to another guy, who took some details and explained to me what they were told I’d be doing and what I was actually doing weren’t in line so he was pulling me from the placement, I wasn’t to go back and he’d deal with them. My hero J Shame he wasn’t wearing pink.

I’m strangely in two minds about this; I hated the “job” with a passion. I was pretty much doing busy work the whole time and there wasn’t even much of that to do. I enjoy being busy at work, a love a challenge, I love dealing with people, that’s why I’ve done so well in my past jobs. But this job has been the complete opposite. And in all honesty it was slowly destroying my soul....If I have may have been removed to make room for more sarcasm.

But on the other hand, I loved the people, they were fantastic. They were all creative which is always a huge bonus, we had acting, music, photography, throw in my writing and we had it all pretty much covered. They were an awesome group of people. (And I’m not just saying that because they may or may not be reading my blog)

Even the managers weren’t bad; they all seemed nice and approachable. My problem was purely the job or lack thereof.

I’m going to miss the people; the job on the other hand can suck my.......big toe. And then pay me £1000 because apparently that’s the going rate (never job search on Craigslist).

Since there isn’t really a question in this blog, let me know the strangest thing you’ve come across on
Craigslist. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Monday 27 May 2013

When the fuck did I become an adult?

I recently had one of those scary “when the fuck did I become an adult?” moments and yes, I am aware I am now 26 years old and by law I’ve been an adult for many years but it’s scary when your brain starts behaving like an adult without any conscious effort. I am worried "adult" is becoming my brains default setting and I’m not ready for that.

Just the thought gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Here’s what happened; I was having a Facebook conversation with a friend about Nashville or to be exact about how she needed to hurry and watch the damn finale, when somehow the conversation took a serious turn into current events.  I won’t go into too many details because this isn’t the place for serious talk and I’m sure as hell not the person for it

Me and my friend were going back and forth agreeing on some things, disagreeing on others, just having an honest debate nothing malicious or personal. After we both made our points and came to an understanding she said something that gave me that “when the fuck did I become an adult moment?”

She said “See I can talk to you. You agree, disagree, show another side, more information, where others just go NO, THIS IS RIGHT, YOUR WRONG.”

After she said that I just sat there thinking “when the fuck did that happen? “I mean there are still some topics where I’m all “I’m right, end of” equality is the one that comes to mind. There is no valid argument against equality as far as I’m concerned. But I remember a time where I was like that with most things but now I’m interested in both sides. I want to have a full understanding, even if I don’t agree with it.

My brain is becoming an adult and I don’t like it, what if all the crazy in there becomes logical? I can’t do normal. I don’t like normal. Pandas don’t ride around on roller-skate eating cotton candy in normal brains.

What was your first “when the fuck did I become an adult?” moment? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 


Tuesday 2 April 2013

“I Swear On My Vibrator”

We all have our idiotisms, my friend Jeff has “does that come with beer?” Kelly has “I'm not drunk the ground’s lonely.” Shell has “I think there’s a monkey in his pants.”  And I have “I swear on my vibrator”.

Despite the fact they’re all not normal things to say, it’s only mine that sparks conversation...and if you ask me mine’s the only one that actually makes sense.

I mean hugs, visiting the hospital or walking a friend home clearly don’t come with beer so Jeff is crazy.

Even if the ground is lonely I doubt falling on it and then hugging it would solve millions of years of loneliness so Kelly is nuts.

And I’m sure that grumpy guy or the guy hitting on girls at the bar isn’t hiding a monkey in his pants. I mean surely it’d crawl out the leg or something so Shell is bananas.

A single girl with no current fuck-friends swearing on her vibrator, to me at least, that makes perfect sense.

Let’s think about this, the idea is when you swear on something or someone you’re putting it out there for the universe to destroy if what you’re saying is a lie.

So bearing that in mind having a non-religious person swear on the Bible or to God is kind of pointless. And when someone swears on another human being you always run the risk that they never really liked that person in the first place. I mean I have a few exes (and a cousin) I wouldn’t mind the universe destroying.

So the best way to ensure a truthful statement has to be having the person swear on something they love and or need.

Which brings me back to the vibrator; think about it for a second, what single fuck-friendless girl is going to risk the universe destroying her vibrator? See, told you it wasn’t crazy.

So what idiotisms do you and your friends have and would you risk the universe destroying your vibrator? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Saturday 1 December 2012

Friend of a Friend

I’m not sure there are many things more creepy then a friend of a friend randomly adding you on Facebook.

Here’s the story that gets repeated time and time again, you comment on a “friend’s” (normally someone you have seen in 10 years) status and a few minutes later a friend request pops up.

When you look at the request it says you have one person in common, the “friend” you haven’t seen in 10 years. You decide to accept the request because you figure if the guy hasn’t murdered your “friend” yet he must be harmless.

Fast forward 10 minutes and that so called harmless guy is sending you picture of his penis at which point you realize the reason you no longer hang out with the person you haven’t seen in 10 years is because they’re a rubbish judge of character. 

The male brain hurts my head, they randomly add a women and the first thing they send is “I hope you don’t mind me adding you.” What would make you think we’d mind a strange man we’ve never heard of sending us unsolicited message? Could it be all the “stranger danger” talks we had as kids!?

Here’s a note for all the men of the world (or just the 2 that actually read my blog), all women mind when you randomly add them...Unless you happen to be Ryan Gosling, he can add whoever he likes. What you should do is ask the person you have in common to ask the women if she minds you Facebook stalking her. That’s just the polite/ less creepy thing to do. But of course that’s not what you do because that would involve your brain and not you penis.

So what do you guys think, is it creepy when a friend of a friend randomly adds you or like normal am I crazy? Let me know what you think in the comment box below.  And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Tuesday 13 November 2012

Outside The Box

We all know by now when it comes to thinking none of mine is done inside the box. I’m a little out there but some of my theories aren’t that crazy or at least I don’t think they’re that crazy.

My theory on why exes come back around long after a breakup comes to mind. I think my theory is completely logical; my friends on the other hand do not.

Most women would like to think their exes come crawling back because their exes still love them and that love conquers all and all that other fairytale bullshit.

I’m not that stupid; I know love isn’t what’s dragging them back. My theory makes much more sense than that, its lust that is dragging them back. That’s the part of my theory most people can agree on.

Here’s where it gets a little less agreeable.

I believe the time since the break up and how good you are in bed are directly proportional. My logic being if someone isn’t good in bed you wouldn’t put in the time or effort to stalk them. I mean your hand is a much more time efficient solution. If someone is willing to chase you after 10 years there is a reason and it sure as hell isn’t love. My theory is........its skill.

I may be crazy but I’ll leave that up to you to decide, so what do you say, am I crazy or does my theory make some sense? And while you’re at it tell me what strange theories you have? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch