Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, it was not me and dating you had to worry about, it was Hugh and dating that should have been the concern. After 5 dates we have decided to call things off. Hugh just isn’t ready yet, and I completely understand, I was there. And to be honest, I had my suspicions early on this may have been the case, but I chose to ignore the red flag. I, however, don’t really regret that decision.
I am hopeful that Hugh and I can remain friends, actually
hanging out, doing things friends. I’ve said this all along things are easy
between us, we can giggle and talk, and we share a lot of the same interests. My
guard has been down with him from almost the very beginning, I have been just
me and he’s handled it well. I kid that someone has given him a handbook or manual
on how to deal with me. It’s just natural to him. When my mom passed away, he
was perfect. I know how bad that could have been for me if he wasn’t there. He
instinctively calms me down and he doesn’t know he’s doing it. He often places
his hand on the part of my back, I press against the wall to calm my anxiety. I
feel better when I am with him.
It makes me giggle because he was so concerned about me
attaching when we were dating. And I did, but not in the loved up mushy way. I
attached in a this person is awesome and I like having them around way. He is a
good guy and I like him as a human. He’s the only person right now I can be
totally honest with. I feel alone and he helps without knowing. I can just be
myself, no walls, no acts, just me and it’s nice. With everyone else, I have to
tough, I have to be strong, I have things I needed to worry about, perceptions,
gossip. None of that is a thing with him, I get to just be.
I pray, nothing changes this. Truth be told, I didn’t need or
want a boyfriend or the sex (no matter how good it may have been), I needed a
friend and he’s a pretty damn good one.
Anyways, I am off before my eyes leak juices everywhere. As
always, my dears, stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
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