The Enigma Project

“A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma” is quote often uttered when trying to understand the opposite sex. Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. It just seems that the two sexes are wired differently.

....or are we?

I’ve decided to try and find out. The idea behind "The Enigma Project" is simple; you ask questions then  both Joel and I will answers them, at the end we’ll take a look at each other’s answers and see whether the opposite sexes are more alike than we care to admit or if they are truly an enigma.


Enigma 1

    Why do men spend hours and hours playing video games?

Thoughts:  I’ve always assumed men spend so much time playing video games because they’re trying to escape reality. They don’t want to deal with something so they zone into this make-believe land.

When we were little we use to play Barbie’s, and imagine our futures and act out every day things. I think video games are like Barbie’s for men. They imagine it’s them in that game, blowing up people and things. They imagine they’re the hero saving the day or winning the race. It’s how they de-stress, let out aggression and relax

As women we tend to do that by shopping, whether in person or online. It’s how we de-stress and unwind. Video games and shopping are basically one in the same......if you don’t think about it too much. (By The Honest Bitch)

Reality: Video games are to men what shopping is to women. Escapism. Possibility. Temporarily satisfying and instantly accessible.

In a video game, a man can be everything he wanted to be when he was a kid. A secret agent, a superstar footballer, a leader of armies or a warrior. In video games, we have that valid way to unleash our primal urges with no repercussions. Granted, that can manifest some of our ugliest qualities but it is always safer to demonstrate them in a video game, as opposed to doing it in real life.

Video games end up being an anti-thesis to what the world increasingly demands of men. We see how the world continually emasculates men, in the way they are expected to dress, act and behave. Anything that deviates from this makes men think, courtesy of some women issuing condescending remarks, that they are less desirable. In a video game, a man gains an anonymity from that judgement. They can be, well, themselves. The brute, primitive version of themselves but nonetheless, we feel like we can drop the façade and that is like relaxing a tensed muscle.

Video games are considered by us guys as a Men Only club. Yet plenty of girls are gamers. When we hear a girl in a Call of Duty game, we stupidly think she's hot and we want her. Why? Because here is a girl that not only likes games but also is OK with guys being themselves. That doesn't account for men who are just sickening in this setting, who show their true colours and should be openly condemned.

So why do men play video games? Why does your boyfriend spend time racking up kills rather than spending time with you? Sorry ladies but the brutal truth is... he just needs a break from you. (By Joel Sparks) 

Enigma?: For the most part we seem to be on the same page on this one. Men game because they need a break from reality and They need time in their gaming bubble to distress and play man Barbie’s, I’m not sure they’d call it that but I would.

When it comes to the question why do men game? There is no real enigma here.


Enigma 2

Why do women get mad when men don’t notice they’ve had their hair done? 

Thoughts:  Women take great pride in their appearance. You only have to look at the effort they make in comparison to men. As if to prove the point, every item of clothing I am wearing as I type this was the thing that was on top in each respective drawer. Between that, deodorant, aftershave and a touch of gel, I, like most men, have made an effort about as sophisticated as a crayon. Whereas a women does her hair, puts on various kinds of make up, tights over shaved legs and then walk on shoes with stilts attached at the back. It is a daily masterpiece that shouldn't look out of place on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel!

This is why I think a woman gets angry when we don't notice that she has had her hair done. It is her art, her work, her passion and we have been apathetic about it. It is like seeing the Mona Lisa and then sneezing on it. While Da Vinci was there. And he had just finished it. It is a royal kick in the teeth.

You see, women look good for three people. Other women, because it is a competition, sometimes friendly, sometimes vicious. They will notice that a woman has had her hair done because they know it is important. Then there is themselves. A woman takes pride in her appearance, something that men increasingly embrace but irritatingly to excessive levels. And indeed, men are the third group. Yet this shift from obsession with sports and beer to hair products and clothing labels hasn't taught us men an appreciation for the vanity game.

Women seem to think we should be more aesthetically savvy but we're not. That is why they get irritated more and more. They think we should know by now. That we should appreciate their effort to impress. So why do they get angry? Because they have forgotten that men are not that fussed about a woman's hair. After all, the question "Are you shaved?" isn't asked because every man is after Sinead O'Connor. You get me? (By Joel Sparks) 

Reality: There are a few reason why we get mad when you don’t notice we’ve had our hair done. The first being we assume you haven’t notice because you’re not paying attention to us. In our minds it’s hard to understand how it’s possible not to notice our hair is a different colour or that it’s 6 inches shorter. I mean if something was 6 inches shorter on your body I think we’d notice.

The second reason we get mad is because we partly do it for you! We don’t roll out of bed looking this way. It takes time and effort.  And when you don’t notice it feels like that time and effort was wasted. I swear the reason women post so many self pics to Facebook is because they spent 4 hours getting ready (hair, makeup, waxing, creams, sprays, lotions) and their other half barely looked up from the TV, so they settle for thumbs ups and comments from jealous women and horny men.

The third and final reason we get mad is, it’s not cheap. The average cost of a women’s hair cut is $45 and for some reason there is no exchange rate because in the UK the average price is £45. And that’s just to get it cut, if you want it coloured you’re talking a 100+. How would you like to spend over $100 on something that's attached to you and have nobody notice? That’s not a great feeling. (By The Honest Bitch)

Enigma?: Apparently not, men seem to understand women on this one. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not about to change but at least they seem to understand what the fuss is about. Which I have to admit, I didn't think they would

So once again no enigma here, men do understand why women get angry when they fail to notice their hair. 


  1. Sounds like a good idea. Go for it. Good luck with your project.

  2. Love it and I completely agree it is man Barbies. Keep it up you two

  3. There is something I really like about you two together he's very eloquent and you're very "shut up, it's man Barbies" It's endearing.

    My question is why do men hate shopping so much?

    1. Because it's so boring, maybe that's the way women feel about video games?