Monday, 30 January 2012

Old Habits Die Hard

In recent months I've been flirting with a new guy, let's call him Jon. He's not my normal type. For starters he doesn't have any ego issues and he's younger than I am. Normally that would be grounds enough for me to write him off but since he's such a sweetheart I decided despite his age to give him a chance and see what happens.

It's not like the older guy thing has been working out so well for me anyways.

Despite him being a sweetheart a few weeks ago he started blowing hot and cold on me and instead of asking Jon what was up, I decided to fall back on an old habit.

I contacted Mr. X. He's what you'd call a safety net. If things turn bad I can always fall back on him. Sounds horrible I know, but he does the same thing to me. We flirt for a few hours or days (depending how bad the damage is), and once our confidence is fully restored we go on about our lives.

This time was different though, instead of trying and failing to separate him from his clothing, I decided to treat him like a failed science experiment and see what I could learn from him.

Despite the fact I want to strangle him a lot of the time, he's helpful in his own twisted way. He took the time to explain to me why guys blow hot and cold. He wasn't so useful in explaining how to fix the problem though. He suggested murder but blood makes me queasy so that idea went out the window.

I managed to sort the issue without following his bloody advice. I did what I should've done in the start and confronted the guy. But Mr. X gave me a lot to think about. Despite being an ass I'm grateful for his advice and ability to lighten the mood. He may be a jerk but he's proven himself a good ally.

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

PS Just for future reference how would you handle a guy (or girl) that was blowing hot and cold?

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Red vs Blue

My brain is currently locked in a battle over two competing concepts and there's only one possible way to resolve this dilemma. So...

Standing on my red shoulder standing 5'11" tall representing all things good and honest. The one... The only... NTB

And fighting from my blue shoulder, stand being 6'2" tall, representing all things misleading and game like, Jimmy “The Ego” Jacob

Let's get ready to rumble! Ding, ding, ding

and with the first blow its NTB and his belief that you don't need to play games to be happy in a relationship, quickly followed up by his unwavering belief that a good relationship is based on total honesty.

Landing a shot of his own Jimmy with his belief that guys want what they can't have, followed up by his valid point that social networks turn females crazy.

NTB lands another punch with his point that not playing games makes relationships a lot easier.

Jimmy just misses with his idea that guys hate being compared to anyone. Because we all know guys only hate being compared to people that are better than them.

NTB misses with a punch of his own, the idea that all games are pointless. That is simply untrue. You need some teasing and playing hard to get in a relationship or you’d die of boredom.

But not one to stay down, NTB lands a huge hit with his straightforwardness because we all know men can't read between the lines to save their life.

Not one to be outdone Jimmy fires back with give the guy some space, if he likes you, he'll swallow his pride and make the first move. And he follows that up with a sweet little titbit, if in doubt start dating. Playing on a guy’s built-in jealousy and give him a taste of his own medicine.

In the dying seconds of the last and final round NTB lands a big punch of his own with “treat people how you would want to be treated”.

Ding, ding, ding, this is it, it's all over, it's all comes down to a judge's decision.

Judge 1 gives it to..... Jimmy

Judge 2 gives it to....NTB

And the third and final judge.... Has no freaking clue

While I replay this fight over and over in my head, let me know what you think. Are games in a relationship such a bad thing? Do you need those games to help feel each other out? Or is being totally straightforward from the start the best way to handle things?

Or is purple the answer, a bit from the red shoulder and a bit from the blue?

As always guys, stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Predictable Pig

In my last blog I was telling you about the predictable response to one of my Facebook statuses and there being more to the story, so here it is.

After sending me a bunch of Facebook messages he asked if he could text me. I said ok. He's known me for years and already had my number so it's not like I could stop him if I wanted to. Plus I wanted to see if I could get him to admit he had a girlfriend.

So he started sending me text messages. They started off harmless enough asking about how I was and talking about hockey, then it turned a little flirty. I didn't have a problem with a little harmless flirting.

Then it took a turn crossing that line of things you can't say or text when you're in a relationship. He was aiming for sexting and I wasn't playing that game. I have dealt with my fair share of crazy girlfriends, and I'm not looking to add another one to that list.

He eventually moved back to the harmless side of the line and we said good night and that was that… or so I thought.

For the next few days he would send me messages like “good morning, have a good day :-) x” and “Good morning sexy xx”. This struck me as strange...really strange.

I've dealt with more than my fair share of slimy guys and normally they cover their asses and don't leave a text trail for their girlfriend to find. Side note: beware of guys, who don't have any messages on their phones, they're normally trouble.

This left me wondering if he and his girlfriend broke up or if something happened because that's just not normal behaviour. Plus, part of me really didn't want to believe he was a jerk. He's the first fellow hockey fan I met here, and he comes off as such a sweet guy.

So I went into detective mode and searched his Facebook wall for answers. I didn't find any recent messages from the girlfriend however her display picture was a picture of both of them together but it crossed my mind that she may not have changed it yet, so I continued looking.  Then I saw a message with a name that jumped out at me, it wasn't his girlfriend's name but it was the same surname.

It turned out to be the girlfriend’s mother, and she was joking with him the morning after he messaged me. I can’t be sure but I don't think you'd joke with your daughter's ex-boyfriend on a public Facebook wall if they had just broken up.

So it has left me to conclude that apparently nice guy or not, he is a creep and depending on your definition of cheating, a cheater too.

I guess that only leaves two questions, is sexting classifed as cheating? And does it take two to sext?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Predictable Pigs

I was checking my Facebook the other night when I came across the above image. It kind of me laugh so I thought I'd share the humour. I didn't really think about it and went back to chatting.

When I looked back a few minutes later only guys has commented on it and they were all doing the same thing, trying to guess my bra size. My boobs are flattered but I was a little miffed. I have no problems with my boobs being a topic of conversation but I do have an issue with the fact none of the guys were single.

If I were their girlfriends I wouldn't be pleased. It just not an appropriate conversation. It's one thing if their girlfriends were in on the conversation but to randomly start guessing a female bra size, that's not cool.

After I commented trying to blow their comments off as “boys will be boys” they continue to try and guess. I knew what was coming next. I was so sure I even made a comment to my friend Jon that I was waiting for the inevitable inbox message.

And right on schedule there was an inbox message from one of the guys. It was a really sweet message but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend and he shouldn't be hitting on me. Not only does he have a girlfriend but said girlfriend is listed on his Facebook page. I'm not sure why but that makes it worse in my books.

It's just so slimy and not just slimy, predictably slimy.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, it actually has many health benefits but there is a line you need to watch when you're not single. When someone goes to the effort of moving a chat from somewhere public (e.g. Facebook wall) to somewhere private (e.g. inbox) you know his intentions aren't pure.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is how predictable it was. Would it kill someone to be original? Honesty would help too but that's as likely as Pinocchio's penis being longer than his nose. So I'll just settle for original.

Anyways my dears, that's all for now, although there is more to come. As always stay safe.


The Honest Bitch

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Dating Horror Story: Perfect Liar

Happy New Year my dears. I was reading about a fellow blogger’s rom-com like holiday (Personal Facts) and it got me thinking about a dating nightmare of my own. It’s also a great reason why Internet dating is a bad idea.

It must have been about three or four years ago and I can't even remember where online we met, but we did and really seemed to hit it off. He sounded like a real catch. He was a cute primary school teacher, who played rugby on the weekends. He was also in a band. He sounded perfect, hell, he still sounds perfect.

We chatted online for about three months pretty much every day. Then we moved to text messages. He would text during classes and before bed. We got a long great and he was super funny. After about six months of chatting, we finally decided it would be a good idea to meet each other. He knew I was having an operation and suggested he come up and look after me afterwards. How sweet is that? Spoiler alert….. It never happened.

About a week before he was planning on coming up, we got a little flirty and he sent me a picture, I won't tell you what the picture was, but in the corner of the image. I thought I spotted something.

Since dating is part detective work. I took the image and zoom in on the thing that caught my eye. Lo and behold, I was right. On his left hand there was a shiny gold wedding ring. So much for perfect…. Eh?

I decided before I lost my temper I would give him a chance to explain himself. But instead of manning up or saying something logical he told me it wasn't a wedding ring. It was just a ring, he wore on that finger.

Do I look dumb? Out of all the things a person could say, that was his story. I have very low bullshit tolerance, so I quickly told him what I thought about him using many four lettered words then proceeded to delete his lying ass.

It's crazy. How on earth did he not think I'd catch on? If you’re stupid enough to send a picture of yourself in a wedding ring, you deserve to be punched in the nuts. Not only is that a low life move to make. It's disrespectful to your wife.

Anyways, my dears, that's yet another of my dating nightmares. If that doesn't make you feel better about your relationship nothing will. Stay safe guys.


The Honest Bitch