Showing posts with label Dating Nightmare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating Nightmare. Show all posts

Friday 17 May 2013

The Grinch Who Stole My 21st Birthday

It’s my birthday! Or as I call it the anniversary of the day I knocked my ex-boyfriend out cold. I wrote a blog a long time ago, August 2011 to be exact, about it and over the years something interesting has happen with that post, it’s accumulated just under 50,000 views. By far my most read blog of all time. It’s horrifying and makes me really wish I had done a better job writing it. So since it’s the 5 year anniversary of that event I thought I’d take another swing (pun intended) at writing it.

Let me start by telling you a little about the Grinch; The Grinch was a 27 year old personal trainer and regular in my local pub. The fact he drank in that place should have been my first warning sign but sadly it wasn’t.

We had been swapping flirty eyes for months when New Year’s Eve rolled around and since I was a wee bit intoxicated (it was New Year’s Eve after all) I decided screw it and make the first move. We ended up having a fantastic time and exchanged numbers at the end of the night.

The Grinch was a real slow mover, we texted all the time and chatted but things were going nowhere. Then after a huge push from some friends, we somehow ended up in a relationship not long after Valentine’s Day.

It was never a happy relationship, that dude had more issues than Playboy. Issues he did a fantastic job of hiding until I had and everyone knew I had that “girlfriend” title.  He had a massive problem knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he had a drug problem too. Which would have been an instant deal breaker had I known.

I remember one night he called me up begging me to come get him, I reluctantly agreed to come and take him home. I get him to his place and he wouldn’t get out of my car. I pushed him, pulled him, hell I even kicked him and he wasn’t moving. After 40 minutes of this shit I had him half way out of my car. Then out of nowhere he looks at me, laughs, gets back in and shuts the car door. That man is lucky I didn’t kill him right then and there. I decided fuck it and drove home to let him sleep it off in my car.

3 hours later I’m a sleep in my bed when I hear noises at my door, I get up to see what the hell is happening only to discover the Grinch trying to get in my house with his keys. I was fuming but let him in since I didn’t really have any other choose. I gave him my bed and slept on the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass right there but stupidly listened to my friends and gave him one more chance instead. (Needless to say I’m no longer friends with those people.)

A few weeks after that nightmare, started another one when he dragged me to his cousin’s wedding. It’s a well known fact I hate weddings and this wedding did nothing to help that. The first problem was he evidently comes from a long line of whack-a-doodles. These people made the Adam’s Family look normal.

The second problem was him. He was drunk, loud and ridiculously rude to his family. I was mortified to be seen with him. He was such an ass at one point I ended up putting him on the floor. He spent the weekend acting like an obnoxious over grown child.

After that shit show I had every indentation of dumping him; however it was only 10 day until my birthday so I figured I’d wait until then, after what that asshole put me through I figured I deserved a present.......or a metal.

As much as I deserved it I never did get that present, 2 days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that sorry fucking excuse for a man dumped me! It would be a drastic understatement to say I was pissed. I wasn’t hurt, or heartbroken I was just plain old mad. After the way he acted who was he to dump me?

As if I wasn’t mad enough I found out he was planning to pop in and see me at my birthday party, a party I had been saying for month I didn’t want. But he and my best friend wouldn’t have any of it. I figure since we had broken up I could spend my birthday the way I wanted to....I was clearly mistaken.

To be fair up until the Grinch walked in I was having a wonderful time. Then he walked in and I actually saw red. After that I don’t remember anything until we were stood outside talking and he clearly said something I didn’t like because the next thing I knew I had punched him square in the jaw and he was falling in what felt like slow-motion. I do however remember afterwards feeling really cheated because he went down do easily. I wanted to kick the shit out of him. It was so disappointing, kind of like our relationship.

The real punch line is he was a personal trainer who had just come back from a boxing course......Guess they forgot to teach him to keep his hands up.

I got a lot of praise and few drinks for putting that asshole in his place. He use to walk around with a puffed chest and an over inflated ego. He couldn’t do that after getting beaten up by a girl.

As good as it felt; it kind of sucks that that’s my 21st birthday memory. He stole that night from me, hell he stole all my birthdays from me. A birthday doesn’t pass without someone talking about my 21st. On the bright side I did do something that a lot of women only dream of.

I told you about my birthday memory now it’s your turn to share yours, the good or the bad, let me hear them in the comment box below. And as always stay and drink tequila safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday 5 January 2012

Dating Horror Story: Perfect Liar

Happy New Year my dears. I was reading about a fellow blogger’s rom-com like holiday (Personal Facts) and it got me thinking about a dating nightmare of my own. It’s also a great reason why Internet dating is a bad idea.

It must have been about three or four years ago and I can't even remember where online we met, but we did and really seemed to hit it off. He sounded like a real catch. He was a cute primary school teacher, who played rugby on the weekends. He was also in a band. He sounded perfect, hell, he still sounds perfect.

We chatted online for about three months pretty much every day. Then we moved to text messages. He would text during classes and before bed. We got a long great and he was super funny. After about six months of chatting, we finally decided it would be a good idea to meet each other. He knew I was having an operation and suggested he come up and look after me afterwards. How sweet is that? Spoiler alert….. It never happened.

About a week before he was planning on coming up, we got a little flirty and he sent me a picture, I won't tell you what the picture was, but in the corner of the image. I thought I spotted something.

Since dating is part detective work. I took the image and zoom in on the thing that caught my eye. Lo and behold, I was right. On his left hand there was a shiny gold wedding ring. So much for perfect…. Eh?


I decided before I lost my temper I would give him a chance to explain himself. But instead of manning up or saying something logical he told me it wasn't a wedding ring. It was just a ring, he wore on that finger.

Do I look dumb? Out of all the things a person could say, that was his story. I have very low bullshit tolerance, so I quickly told him what I thought about him using many four lettered words then proceeded to delete his lying ass.

It's crazy. How on earth did he not think I'd catch on? If you’re stupid enough to send a picture of yourself in a wedding ring, you deserve to be punched in the nuts. Not only is that a low life move to make. It's disrespectful to your wife.

Anyways, my dears, that's yet another of my dating nightmares. If that doesn't make you feel better about your relationship nothing will. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo