The Grinch Who Stole My 21st Birthday

It’s my birthday! Or as I call it the anniversary of the day I knocked my ex-boyfriend out cold. I wrote a blog a long time ago, August 2011 to be exact, about it and over the years something interesting has happen with that post, it’s accumulated just under 50,000 views. By far my most read blog of all time. It’s horrifying and makes me really wish I had done a better job writing it. So since it’s the 5 year anniversary of that event I thought I’d take another swing (pun intended) at writing it.

Let me start by telling you a little about the Grinch; The Grinch was a 27 year old personal trainer and regular in my local pub. The fact he drank in that place should have been my first warning sign but sadly it wasn’t.

We had been swapping flirty eyes for months when New Year’s Eve rolled around and since I was a wee bit intoxicated (it was New Year’s Eve after all) I decided screw it and make the first move. We ended up having a fantastic time and exchanged numbers at the end of the night.

The Grinch was a real slow mover, we texted all the time and chatted but things were going nowhere. Then after a huge push from some friends, we somehow ended up in a relationship not long after Valentine’s Day.

It was never a happy relationship, that dude had more issues than Playboy. Issues he did a fantastic job of hiding until I had and everyone knew I had that “girlfriend” title.  He had a massive problem knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he had a drug problem too. Which would have been an instant deal breaker had I known.

I remember one night he called me up begging me to come get him, I reluctantly agreed to come and take him home. I get him to his place and he wouldn’t get out of my car. I pushed him, pulled him, hell I even kicked him and he wasn’t moving. After 40 minutes of this shit I had him half way out of my car. Then out of nowhere he looks at me, laughs, gets back in and shuts the car door. That man is lucky I didn’t kill him right then and there. I decided fuck it and drove home to let him sleep it off in my car.

3 hours later I’m a sleep in my bed when I hear noises at my door, I get up to see what the hell is happening only to discover the Grinch trying to get in my house with his keys. I was fuming but let him in since I didn’t really have any other choose. I gave him my bed and slept on the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass right there but stupidly listened to my friends and gave him one more chance instead. (Needless to say I’m no longer friends with those people.)

A few weeks after that nightmare, started another one when he dragged me to his cousin’s wedding. It’s a well known fact I hate weddings and this wedding did nothing to help that. The first problem was he evidently comes from a long line of whack-a-doodles. These people made the Adam’s Family look normal.

The second problem was him. He was drunk, loud and ridiculously rude to his family. I was mortified to be seen with him. He was such an ass at one point I ended up putting him on the floor. He spent the weekend acting like an obnoxious over grown child.

After that shit show I had every indentation of dumping him; however it was only 10 day until my birthday so I figured I’d wait until then, after what that asshole put me through I figured I deserved a present.......or a metal.

As much as I deserved it I never did get that present, 2 days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that sorry fucking excuse for a man dumped me! It would be a drastic understatement to say I was pissed. I wasn’t hurt, or heartbroken I was just plain old mad. After the way he acted who was he to dump me?

As if I wasn’t mad enough I found out he was planning to pop in and see me at my birthday party, a party I had been saying for month I didn’t want. But he and my best friend wouldn’t have any of it. I figure since we had broken up I could spend my birthday the way I wanted to....I was clearly mistaken.

To be fair up until the Grinch walked in I was having a wonderful time. Then he walked in and I actually saw red. After that I don’t remember anything until we were stood outside talking and he clearly said something I didn’t like because the next thing I knew I had punched him square in the jaw and he was falling in what felt like slow-motion. I do however remember afterwards feeling really cheated because he went down do easily. I wanted to kick the shit out of him. It was so disappointing, kind of like our relationship.

The real punch line is he was a personal trainer who had just come back from a boxing course......Guess they forgot to teach him to keep his hands up.

I got a lot of praise and few drinks for putting that asshole in his place. He use to walk around with a puffed chest and an over inflated ego. He couldn’t do that after getting beaten up by a girl.

As good as it felt; it kind of sucks that that’s my 21^st birthday memory. He stole that night from me, hell he stole all my birthdays from me. A birthday doesn’t pass without someone talking about my 21^st. On the bright side I did do something that a lot of women only dream of.

I told you about my birthday memory now it’s your turn to share yours, the good or the bad, let me hear them in the comment box below. And as always stay and drink tequila safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Dating Horror Story – Ex Talk

I asked this question on Facebook “what is your biggest turn off?” And someone replied “hearing about his ex all day”. That got me thinking about possibly my worst date ever. Since I know how much you guys enjoying hearing about my dating nightmares I thought I’d share.

It must have been about 5 years ago I met this guy. He was a few years older than me, lived locally and had his own photography business. The kind of guy that sounds good on paper. And since he was a Facebook guy paper was all I had to go on.

We swapped numbers and starting texting and chatting; we seemed to have a lot in common and talked pretty much every day for a month. The strange thing was apart from the first night we started chatting, none of our chats had any flirty notes at all.

So I was a little surprised when he asked me out on date, I was certain he wasn’t interested in me. He spent a lot of that past month talking about his ex girlfriend. I was positive he was still hung up on her no matter what he said so for obvious reasons I turned him down.

 After turning him down he pretty much badgered me into changing my mind. Insisting he had no feelings for his ex at all. Against my better judgement I agree to go see a film with him.

However the second I saw his car I knew I made the wrong decision. On the side of his car was a picture of his ex with his company name underneath. I should have ran there and then but I didn’t.

We didn’t talk at all on the way to the theatre; luckily it was a short ride. Once there he bought tickets to see some guy film, he didn’t even ask me what I wanted to see. And the worst part was we had a 45 minute wait.

During those 45 minutes he didn’t ask me anything he spent the whole time talking about his ex. I spent that time secretly texting on my phone trying to get a friend to come rescue me.

After the longest 45 minutes of my life we went into the theatre. He didn’t buy drinks, popcorn, nothing (men of the world, don’t do that, ever). We didn’t even sit next to each other. There was an empty seat between us. I don’t think we even said two worlds to each other. Luckily the film wasn’t bad, definitely the highlight of the night.

Once the film was over we went back to his car and I was thankful it was finally over, well it wasn’t quite. On the way back he went through a KFC drive-thru and got himself food, didn’t even offer me anything.

When he finally dropped my off, I basically ran to my front door, I couldn’t get away from him quick enough.

I guess if there is a positive to be taken away from this date; it’s that I learned to always to drive myself to dates. And also to listen to my gut that was a date I should have never been on.

So what date talking about their ex stories do you guys have? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Dating Horror Story: Perfect Liar

Happy New Year my dears. I was reading about a fellow blogger’s rom-com like holiday (Personal Facts) and it got me thinking about a dating nightmare of my own. It’s also a great reason why Internet dating is a bad idea.

It must have been about three or four years ago and I can't even remember where online we met, but we did and really seemed to hit it off. He sounded like a real catch. He was a cute primary school teacher, who played rugby on the weekends. He was also in a band. He sounded perfect, hell, he still sounds perfect.

We chatted online for about three months pretty much every day. Then we moved to text messages. He would text during classes and before bed. We got a long great and he was super funny. After about six months of chatting, we finally decided it would be a good idea to meet each other. He knew I was having an operation and suggested he come up and look after me afterwards. How sweet is that? Spoiler alert….. It never happened.

About a week before he was planning on coming up, we got a little flirty and he sent me a picture, I won't tell you what the picture was, but in the corner of the image. I thought I spotted something.

Since dating is part detective work. I took the image and zoom in on the thing that caught my eye. Lo and behold, I was right. On his left hand there was a shiny gold wedding ring. So much for perfect…. Eh?

I decided before I lost my temper I would give him a chance to explain himself. But instead of manning up or saying something logical he told me it wasn't a wedding ring. It was just a ring, he wore on that finger.

Do I look dumb? Out of all the things a person could say, that was his story. I have very low bullshit tolerance, so I quickly told him what I thought about him using many four lettered words then proceeded to delete his lying ass.

It's crazy. How on earth did he not think I'd catch on? If you’re stupid enough to send a picture of yourself in a wedding ring, you deserve to be punched in the nuts. Not only is that a low life move to make. It's disrespectful to your wife.

Anyways, my dears, that's yet another of my dating nightmares. If that doesn't make you feel better about your relationship nothing will. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Dating Horror Story – The Grinch who stole my 21st birthday

Since you guys seemed to really enjoy my last relationship horror story I thought I’d share another one with you. This one is about the Grinch who stole my 21st birthday.

I met the Grinch at my local pub which in hindsight should have been my first red flag. I had been eyeing him up for months and he was flirting back but never made a move. So on New Year’s Eve I decided fuck it and made the first move myself. We ended up having a great night and we swopped numbers.

For the next month we texted and chatting a little but not much more than that. The guy moved slower than a snail. With a little pushing from my friend we ended up in a relationship just after Valentine’s Day.

It was never a happy relationship the guy had issues. Issues he managed to hide pretty damn well until we were in an actual relationship. He had problems knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he did drugs too. Which would have been a deal breaker if I had known.

One night he called me from town drunk begging me to come get him. So I agreed to pick him up. Not a great idea. I couldn’t get the idiot out of my car. I spent 40 minutes outside his house trying to get him out. Pulling, pushing, and kicking him. I wasn’t having much luck. I managed to get him half way out of my car. Then he looked at me laughed and got back in and shut my car door. Needless to say I didn’t find it so funny. I gave up after that and drove home and left him in my car to sleep it off.

I went inside and got ready for bed. About 3 hours later I hear a noise at my front door. I got out of bed to check it out and it was the Grinch trying to get in my house with his house key. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I let him in because I had no real choice and let the asshole take my bed and I took the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass but I listened to friends and gave him another chance. (That was a stupid move and I’m no longer friends with those people.)

In May of that year he dragged me to a family wedding. We all know how I feel about weddings. This wedding was worse because his family is a walking, talking Adam’s Family. It was a fucking nightmare. Or should that be he was a fucking nightmare.

He was drunk and loud and really rude to his family. I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He was such as ass I actually ended up putting him on the floor. The dude was acting like a fucking child. It was total nightmare.

I had every plan on dumping him but it was 10 days till my birthday so I decided to hang on until then. I figured I deserved a present after the way he acted. I never did get the present because two days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that poor excuse for a man dumped me.

Needless to say I was more than a little pissed off. I wasn’t hurt or sad about the break up; I was just plain old mad. Who was he to dump me after the way he acted?

He added to my anger when I found out he had plans to pop in and see me at my birthday party. I had been saying for months I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday but him and my best friend at the time forced me into planning a night out. Once we broke up I figured I didn’t have to go out now. And I was free to spend the night the way I wanted to. I was wrong.

I actually had a great night until Mr. Grinch showed up. When I saw him I actually saw red. I really don’t remember much after that until we were outside talking and he said something. I guess I didn’t like what he said because I punched him square in the jaw. He was out cold. I remember feeling cheated because he went down so easily, I wanted to kick the shit out of him. The real punch line is he’s a personal trainer who had just gotten back from a boxing course. Guess they forgot to teach him how to keep his hands up.

I got a lot of praise for punching him and putting him in his place. Guess he had rubbed more than just me up the wrong way. As good as it felt, it really sucks that’s how my 21st will always be remembered. He stole the night from me. Why would you show up where you knew your ex is going to be on her birthday?

It still makes me mad to think about that relationship. But I’ve learned my lesson. Never date people you have a chance of running into once you’ve broken up. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo