Showing posts with label Flirting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flirting. Show all posts

Friday 8 February 2019

Tyler Proves Me Wrong


I made the comment a few weeks ago that Tyler doesn’t flirt. To quote myself, what I actually said was, “Tyler doesn’t flirt, not a at all, not one teeny tiny bit.”. And it appears I have to admit I was wrong. It’s almost as if he read my blog and made a point of proving me wrong. However, he didn’t and even if he had the post in question wasn’t up yet so... witchcraft. That’s clearly how he did it.

It’s strange because I said previously, I didn’t know how to handle him because he didn’t flirt and shockingly him flirting threw me off way more. It was so out of the blue it took me back. I was equally shocked, that he actually could flirt, and proud because the line was good. I wanted to give him a gold star.

I can’t for the life of me remember what he said, but ever since then he’s been flirtier. Not my level flirty, but a vast improvement from what he was doing before and let’s be honest. Not many people are my level of flirty.

Don’t get any ideas in your pretty heads though, the gay husband is not now, nor has he ever been right. Yeah, I knew where your minds were headed. Let’s stop those thoughts right there. Ok?

Anyways, I am off to enjoy what I have remaining of my days off, but before I go, I will leave you with this question; are you a nature flirt? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 4 November 2016

Blast from The Past

It’s not often I received a friend request that actually makes me smile, normally there from what I call “green card man, I’m sure you know that type, creepy man from a dodgy part of the globe, whose request you instant decline.  However, last week was different, I received a request from someone who instantly put a smile on my face, a complete blast from the past.

When I worked for my previous company, before we moved locations, there was this lad in the warehouse, I’m going to call him Martin. He was one of the day shift supervisors, he was well put together, funny, knew shit, the only downfall he had was he was a little younger than me. That said, even back then I was willing to overlook that, which is completely unheard of, we all know I don’t do younger men.

Our paths didn’t cross too often, since I worked nights and he did days, but when they did, we’d always chat and joke around and flirt a little. But nothing ever came of it. When it came to light the site was closing, he joined the army and I stayed with the company. And with that we lost contact.

Then last week his name popped up in my friend requests, I knew who was it was straight away and I couldn’t help but smile. That said, I didn’t read a lot into it, ex co-workers add each other all the time. We had something like 12 friends in common, so odds are I just popped up as a suggestion. I accepted his request and started getting ready for work.

Less than 5 minutes later he popped up in my chat. It was pretty standard at first, I was a little shocked he remembered so much about me, it has been nearly 5 years. We continued messaging while I was at work that night, and then the message got a little flirty and started ending with “xx”. I don’t read a lot into that, but it’s a positive sign.

We continued to message for a few days, getting more and more flirty but nothing even PG-13. Just feeling each other out and trying to figure out each other intent. I’d say, neither of us have completely worked each other out yet. I’m not sure if he’s after a hook up or more. He’s in the army so I always put my money on just sex, but that wasn't his style when I worked with him. My other concern is he’s a little out of my league, words I never thought I’d have to say.  That said, I’m going to play the game and see where it goes. I mean Mr. X got me and I’m way the hell out of his league.

I haven’t been able to speak to Martin in a few days, he’s away on exercise, but once he’s back Friday I’m looking forward to seeing what’s there. And as I always say, if nothing else, I should get a few good blogs out of it.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, it’s been a long few days. But before I go I have this question for you, have you ever dated anyone out of your league and how did it end? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  
xoxo

Thursday 19 February 2015

The Giant and His Straying Bean Stock

I’ll be the first admit The Giant (that flirty driver I’ve been talking about) and I crossed a line in our flirting. But, despite being inappropriate it never crossed into cheating territory. It’s not like we were sexting or anything…. Admittedly, it was heading that way, but it never happened.

So when The Giant came into work Valentine’s Day I was a little surprised to find out he couldn’t reply back to a perfectly platonic message I sent him regarding work because his misses is checking his phone and internet use like a crazy woman.  

Now, I don’t know what The Giant gets up to when he’s at home and I don’t know if he has a history of being unfaithful or he’s just a flirt, but if that’s a direct reaction to him messaging me, that seems a little extreme. Now, like I said, I’m not innocent but, it’s not like I’m being penetrated by the man, nor was I planning on being penetrated by the man. Admittedly, if I’m already in trouble, I kind of wish I had but that’s neither here nor there.

He actually apologised to me for not being able to message me, which was completely unnecessary. I understand he has to look after him and most important I need to not have an angry woman hunting me down.

Anyways, my lovelies, I’m off to go deal with karma and by that I mean the cold some cow at work gave me. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; what do you class as cheating? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Thursday 5 February 2015

That Pesky Line

I posted a blog last week, about the delicate line when flirting and in the post I talked about how one of the drivers at work was pushing that line, well he officially crossed it.

Funny enough, it was probably the day that post went live, I was at work and as normal there was a little harmless flirting going on, he came around the desk and to make a cup of coffee and gave me a hug. While he was around my side of the desk, he made some comment, which sadly can’t remember, and I snapped back with “now that paints one hell of a picture.” Without missing a beat, he said “you’d love to see a picture.” Me being me, without thinking I said “damn straight I would.” …. I should have known better.

When he grabbed his phone I knew I was in trouble, however, when he was looking through his phone and said he didn’t think he had any pictures, I thought I was safe and then I tempted fate with the comment “you’re such a let-down.”…. That was a mistake.  
          
He came over and showed me a picture, which I haven’t managed to get out of my head since. It was a picture he took in the mirror of himself, in his underwear with a rather impressive hard on. I believe the only appropriate words, for that is, damn.      

There is an image that comes to mind when you think of a truck driver and let me just say he breaks all those stereotypes. If it wasn’t for the whole him not being single thing, that man would be naked in my bed right now. I had no idea what his clothes were hiding.

Anyways, I’m going to go and try and take my mind off the many, many, many dirty thoughts that are running through my mind right now, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; do you ever feel like you’re playing with fire when you flirt? Let me know in the comment below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Thursday 29 January 2015

Flirting - The Line

It’s no secret I’m a flirt, and for the most part, it’s utterly harmless; a cute smile, flirty eyes, a sly comeback and maybe, just maybe, a little cleavage. But it’s nothing that is crossing any lines.

I work in the transport industry, so I’m surrounded by men and flirting and innuendo is just the way many of them communicate. So for the most part I don’t even notice it anymore, on their part nor mine.

However, once in a while, that delicate line in crossed and at that point…. I notice.

The last time that line was crossed, it was the supervisor. It was all sweet and innocent flirting until it wasn’t. Then non sweet and innocent actions soon followed…. Not that I’m complaining. However, now, there seems to be another one slowly tap dancing himself over that line.

One of my favorite drivers, who like me is a natural flirt, has been pushing the line for a while and is slowly drifting over it. It started New Year’s Eve, he sent me a message on Facebook, that started off innocently but blame the drink if you will, it soon turned a little naughty but nothing too bad.

Then my last 4 off things edge a little more to the land of not so innocent, I won’t go into much detail, but let’s just say there was talk of “rabbiting” and some talk of meeting up. Now I could lie to you and say this was still just, barely on the line of innocence, but it wasn’t, it crept over that line.

And I’m aware it probably shouldn’t have, and I’m also aware I have to be careful because first of all, drivers gossip like you wouldn’t believe and second of all, I don’t want any drama but…. Nothing bad happened last time right?

This is going to end badly isn’t it?

Anyways, I’m off to make some bad decisions, but before I go I shall leave you with this question, where is the line when flirting? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.



Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Sunday 23 November 2014

Looks Or Personality?

I’m going to start this blog with a question; what is more important looks or personality?

I’m currently flirting with the sweetest, most gentlemanly like man I’ve ever stumbled across. He is the prefect boyfriend material; the only problem is, I’m not attracted to him physically.

Now looks have never been the most important thing to me, just take a look at any number of my exes. The way to my heart has always been laughter, but I can’t help but wonder is it fair to accept a date from someone you’re not physically attracted to?

Let me start by saying I’ve not met this guy in person yet so this could all be for nothing, he might not be photogenic, bad angles, I might be in an overly judgmental mood; all I’m saying is I could be completely wrong and when I do meet him I might find him good looking, but as it stands right now…..not so much.

But that leaves me with the question, how important is it that I find him good looking? If he’s sweet and funny and treats me well does it really matter if he’s not eye candy as well? I’m going to leave that with you. Let me know your thoughts and advice in the comment box below and as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Monday 9 December 2013

Oops I Did It Again

I’m not quite sure how it happened but I seem to be the other woman in not one but two relationships right now.

You all know about CM, and we’ve becoming fairly serious however I’m not about to forget the fact that at the end of the day he’s crawling into bed with someone else. It’s not in my personality to sit around waiting while he’s off having his cake and eating it too. No matter how I feel about the guy.

Saying that I haven’t been out looking for anyone however if the opportunity presents itself I’m not going to turn it down for CM’s sake.

Which brings me to the second and oddly enough more complicated guy. The second guy is not only not single he’s.....my supervisor.

Let me clarify a few things he isn’t my direct supervisor, I’ve never actually worked with him, he does days, I do nights....he’s not a good thing but it’s a little better.... I think. The second thing is his relationship is a dead relationship, he’s pretty much only there because of his kids (and no I’m not taking his word on that, I’ve heard it from other sources too. And PS I know kids are a deal breaker but I’m not about to date the guy so who cares.)

I don’t even know how I got in this situation with the supervisor. One day I was flirting with him like the other 60 guys I work with and then it got Facebook flirty and then there was a cock picture on my phone. I’m not really sure what happened....but I’m not complaining.

He’s not a bad looking guy  and something about him screams great fuck plus I happen to have sleep with a supervisor on my bucket list..... A fact I was only reminded of after I received the cock pic but a nice bonus nonetheless.  Plus if I’m honest and I kind of have to be, after the way things went with my last job, having someone with power in my corner (no matter how he got there) is appealing and kind of comforting.

Saying that I actually feel a lot more secure in this job, thanks to a de-briefer at my old job....I’m a little wiser.

So that brings me to the question of the blog, what is on your sexual bucket list? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.
Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo


Friday 10 August 2012

How the Chicken Got His Name

I have told this story before but someone asked me about it the other day so I thought I’d tell it again. Besides, it’s my only relationship story that doesn’t end with me wanting to commit murder.

This story begins (like a lot of my stories) in my local pub on a Thursday night. I was having a drink at the pub with my friend K, my boyfriend at the time (the Grinch) and K’s boyfriend Jeff who was working behind the bar.

A bunch of the guys were playing poker, and as I was chatting to Jeff I noticed a new guy with them looking our way and smiling. So I smiled back and went back to chatting. As the night went on I noticed him making flirting eyes our way and smiling. When he’d come up to the bar to get a drink he’d make small talk with Jeff then go back to his table.

After a few hours of this I turned to Jeff and said “who the hell is this guy flirting with me or you? “ He said he wasn’t sure so I said to him “go on, flirt back with him, you know you want to.” As you can imagine Jeff wasn’t game for that idea. But when K and Grinch went outside for a smoke he said to me “why don’t you do it?” So me being me and not needing much egging on, I did. And soon it was very clear the new poker play guy wasn’t gay. So with that the mystery was solved, and that was that.

Around 10pm The Grinch said he was leaving so he got up gave me a kiss and headed for the door. Before he was even out the second set of doors the mystery flirty guy was next to me and handed me a little piece of paper.

The paper said (which I actually still have) “Hello I’m Mike. Couldn’t help but notice you, my number is xxx xxx, give me a call or text if you would like to get to know me, no hard feelings if not x”.

Since I had a boyfriend at the time I didn’t have much interest in getting to know him better so when I got to my car, I threw it down somewhere and forgot about it.

Over the next few months Mike came in the pub most Thursday night to play poker with the guys. So despite not texting him I did ended up talking to him a few times and getting to know him a little better. I was pleasantly surprised to find out he was a nice guy who was a lot of fun to be around (I normally only get hit on by freaks.)

One night K and I were in the pub bored out of our minds, so she suggested we text Mike. I said ok but she’d have to go liberate his number from the mess that was my car. Once she managed to find it we started sending him random messages while he tried to work out who the hell was messaging him saying they were the tooth fairy.

Before he managed to work out who we were K had to go home leaving me alone to continue our game. It took him a few hours but he managed to work out who it was and after he guessed we chatted for a while, actually if I remember right I actually fell asleep texting him.

Before you ask I did tell The Grinch about me texting Mike and he didn’t care so I continued doing it. It was all harmless and friendly minus his choice words about my boyfriend (which in hindsight he was right about).

That was until one Thursday night in May (3 days before my 21st birthday to be exact) when I was in the pub with the Grinch and Mike was in playing poker with the guys. Mike smiled at me and pulled a funny face which made me laugh, apparently the Grinch didn’t find it so funny because 2 minutes later I was single. Oh well, it turns out the Grinch was cheating on me with a blonde anyways so it was well worth the laugh.

When I left the pub Mike could tell something was up so he called to check on me. When I told him what happened he said to come get him from the pub if I wanted to talk. But by that time K was at my house and she wouldn’t let me go see him. She felt it was a bad idea and she may have been right.

That didn’t stop Mike and I from texting though and since I was now single things were a little less PG....ok a lot less. But he was always a gentleman and sweetheart when K and I would see him in person.

After a few weeks he suggested I go and see him at the pub, since everyone knows me in there and they like to talk, I wasn’t very keen on that idea. Since I wouldn’t go and see him, he kept calling me chicken.

About a week later I sent him a message asking if he was coming to the pub with K and I. He said he’d pass, so I sent him a message saying “what are you, some sort of big chicken man?” He didn’t reply so when I got to the pub and K asked where he was I said he wasn’t coming because he was a chicken man and it kind of stuck.

We finally managed to meet up alone about a month after my birthday. He definitely won me over that night. When I saw him the first thing I noticed was a picture of a chicken on his t-shirt. I couldn’t help but smile. When he leaned in to kiss me, he said “come on are you chicken?” and never one to be out done I said “not at all, you’re the Chicken Man.” And with that I kissed him.

So that is how Chicken Man got his name and if you ask me he kind of sealed his own fate. Moral of the story be careful who you call chicken or you may find yourself being called Chicken Man for the rest of your life.

What nickname stories do you guys have? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  
xoxoxo

Monday 30 January 2012

Old Habits Die Hard

In recent months I've been flirting with a new guy, let's call him Jon. He's not my normal type. For starters he doesn't have any ego issues and he's younger than I am. Normally that would be grounds enough for me to write him off but since he's such a sweetheart I decided despite his age to give him a chance and see what happens.

It's not like the older guy thing has been working out so well for me anyways.

Despite him being a sweetheart a few weeks ago he started blowing hot and cold on me and instead of asking Jon what was up, I decided to fall back on an old habit.

I contacted Mr. X. He's what you'd call a safety net. If things turn bad I can always fall back on him. Sounds horrible I know, but he does the same thing to me. We flirt for a few hours or days (depending how bad the damage is), and once our confidence is fully restored we go on about our lives.

This time was different though, instead of trying and failing to separate him from his clothing, I decided to treat him like a failed science experiment and see what I could learn from him.

Despite the fact I want to strangle him a lot of the time, he's helpful in his own twisted way. He took the time to explain to me why guys blow hot and cold. He wasn't so useful in explaining how to fix the problem though. He suggested murder but blood makes me queasy so that idea went out the window.

I managed to sort the issue without following his bloody advice. I did what I should've done in the start and confronted the guy. But Mr. X gave me a lot to think about. Despite being an ass I'm grateful for his advice and ability to lighten the mood. He may be a jerk but he's proven himself a good ally.

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

PS Just for future reference how would you handle a guy (or girl) that was blowing hot and cold?

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Predictable Pigs

I was checking my Facebook the other night when I came across the above image. It kind of me laugh so I thought I'd share the humour. I didn't really think about it and went back to chatting.

When I looked back a few minutes later only guys has commented on it and they were all doing the same thing, trying to guess my bra size. My boobs are flattered but I was a little miffed. I have no problems with my boobs being a topic of conversation but I do have an issue with the fact none of the guys were single.

If I were their girlfriends I wouldn't be pleased. It just not an appropriate conversation. It's one thing if their girlfriends were in on the conversation but to randomly start guessing a female bra size, that's not cool.

After I commented trying to blow their comments off as “boys will be boys” they continue to try and guess. I knew what was coming next. I was so sure I even made a comment to my friend Jon that I was waiting for the inevitable inbox message.

And right on schedule there was an inbox message from one of the guys. It was a really sweet message but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend and he shouldn't be hitting on me. Not only does he have a girlfriend but said girlfriend is listed on his Facebook page. I'm not sure why but that makes it worse in my books.

It's just so slimy and not just slimy, predictably slimy.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, it actually has many health benefits but there is a line you need to watch when you're not single. When someone goes to the effort of moving a chat from somewhere public (e.g. Facebook wall) to somewhere private (e.g. inbox) you know his intentions aren't pure.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is how predictable it was. Would it kill someone to be original? Honesty would help too but that's as likely as Pinocchio's penis being longer than his nose. So I'll just settle for original.

Anyways my dears, that's all for now, although there is more to come. As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Sunday 30 October 2011

Mr. X and NTB

You guys have been asking about Mr. X and NTB a lot lately so I thought I’d take this chance to fill you guys in.

Let start with Mr. X.

I’m over it. It’s no secret we blow hot and cold. Right now it’s my turn to blow cold. I’m not feeling it right now. The challenge was fun at first but its turn into the challenge that never ends. And that's about as appealing as an episode of Lamb Chop’s Play along.  

I’ve moved on, I’m crushing on someone new, someone who is a lot less asshole like. Mr. X is an amazing person don’t get me wrong, I’m just bored of the games and BS.

I think NTB brainwashed me into hating games. Speaking of NTB nothing happened there. He’s just a busy bee right now. He’s trying to become a doctor so there just has been very little time for anyone more fun than a text book.

So in a nutshell I replaced Mr. X with a cuter, younger model and I’m waiting for NTB to become Dr. NTB, no great mystery and last time I checked I didn’t murder them....although that could change.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe and Happy Halloween.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  
xoxo

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Dating

Every now and then I get the feeling I should start to date again. Then I go on a date and I quickly decide I’d rather die alone.

I stopped dating a while ago because of all the drama and headaches it caused. Let’s just say I haven’t been having the best of luck with British guys. They look all sweet and charming in the movies but let me tell you, in real life a large percentage of them are douche bags.

Not to mention a lot of them are liars too. I don’t have a problem with a purely sexual relationship. If you’re looking for a fuck-friend that’s fine by me, it saves me money on batteries. But be straight about. Don’t wrap you’re horniness up in a lie. Don’t pretend you want more then sex when you don’t. Just don’t be an ass.

NTB has made a big thing out of not playing games and I love him for that. If he has something to say he’ll come right out and say it. He takes all the guess work out of relationships and dating. I personally think there is a time and place for a little toying and flirting but on the whole I wish guys would follow his lead.

That’s kind of why I still keep Mr. X around. I love that he is so straight forward. There is no game play with him. He is what he is, take it or leave it. The difference is Mr. X does it in a jerk way and NTB does it in a way that doesn’t make you want to run him over with your car.....repeatedly.

Saying all that I still continue to flirt with Mr. X. What can I say; some people are just fun to flirt with. It’s not a I want to see him naked thing, it’s more of a he’s cute so why not thing. Flirting is good for you. It’s good for your health and your mood. (That may or may not be a scientific fact.)

I’m sure one day someone will come along who will change my mind on the whole dating thing but right now, I’m not interested. I’d rather have a peacefully life, with no drama.


As always my dears stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn't do.


Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Thursday 8 September 2011

NTB Update

Since NTB's guest post a couple weeks ago you’ve been asking for an update on him and his love interest. I spoke to him last week and he’s given me the ok to fill you guys in on what’s been happening. He’d also like me to thank you guys for your support and comments, they really helped him.

He spoke her not along after he wrote the blog and that went.....well it could have gone better. She tossed out some words, like clingy and too old. That caused me to roll my eyes, because there is only 3 years between them. He also mentioned to me he thinks she may be crushing on someone else.

After that conversation he rightfully decided to her some space and let things cool off before finding out where he truly stands with her.

He went to see her at work a couple days ago; he only managed to have a partial conversation with her because she wanted him to leave before her "friend" came back. From what he said there were some good signs though. She gave him a massive hug and seemed really happy to see him.

His plan was to say sorry for coming across clingy and acting like they were in a relationship she didn’t want. I’m not too sure how much of that conversation he actually manage to have with her though.

The night he went to talk to her I waited up to make sure he was ok. He’s a good friend and plus you guys would kill me if I didn’t. He said something about a ring pointing the wrong way so she’s off the market. Which even now, sitting here typing this sounds crazy.

He’s decided to take some of your advice and back off and give her space. If she has feeling for him, which she does, hopefully she’ll come to him. My fingers are crossed for him, and not just because it would shut you guys up about us getting together. He deserves to be in a happy relationship.

In the meantime his eye is on a customer from work. I don’t know much about her but from what he’s said she’s a pretty girl with a gorgeous smile. I love his back bounciness and the fact most of us would be a little bitter after the summer he had but instead he’s just happy if she’s happy. We could all learn something from him.

His movie like romance may not be my cup of tea but I’m sure this knight in shining armour will find his princess. He’s just too good to remain single for long.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo


Saturday 27 August 2011

Guest Post: Summer Love, Life Lessons

(I couldn’t pick a better person to be my first guest blogger. He’s a dear friend of mine and almost as opinionated as I am. As always be sure to leave your comments and feedback I’m sure he’ll appreciate it and so will I.)

Ladies and Gentlemen…ah, who am I kidding, ladies and ladies because if you read this blog and you’re a guy you’re likely to feel your testicles slowly falling off…trust me on that…don’t ask how I know. Anyway, this blog is usually dedicated to relationships and real encounters from a real person. These stories by THB are real and can happen in the real world. I can’t say I’m entirely saddened by her unfortunate relationship past because it led her to be who she is today; honest and open, which means if I have doubts about a certain topic in my relationship, she’ll tell me what’s up. She’s a great friend too. But most often in this blog we hear about and talk about how we suffer from the negative, relationships ending, relationships not starting, relationships going in the wrong direction and the dreaded “friend zone”. I am the most loathed “NTB” that THB talks about from time to time. I believe that romance isn’t dead and I am often referred to as the nice guy or the sweet guy. Don’t all get sick at once, I have a dark side too but underneath all the layers I usually care about people in general, and I find myself going the extra mile for people all the time. I don’t let myself get taken advantage of but I do believe that you have to risk a little to get anything in this world, but this is a false start, past the point of no return. To truly understand why I am writing this blog you need to hear it from the beginning, so here goes:

This summer started like any other, as per usual I finished up my university workload and I was ready to find a job and spend some time working out and relaxing. See…the problem with me is that my previous relationship ended very badly and killed, or at least I thought it killed a side of me, the sweet side that cares about people, the side that comforts them. Don’t get me wrong, I was still nice and I cared about my friends but I was beyond the whole “I want to impress this girl” phase…or so I thought. After 2 months of working at my new job, a girl transferred to the coffee shop in my neighbourhood and my god…was she the cutest thing ever. Despite having the cutest smile and biggest most beautiful eyes you could imagine, she was more than just someone who looked good, after talking I found that we had a lot in common, love of all meat pizza (big time points :-)), good movies and a troubled relationship past. Now I would like to point out that troubled relationship pasts are not for the weak of heart, if you are going to try to get a girl who doesn’t want anything to do with guys to trust you, you will have an uphill battle in front of you, I promise. So, on my way out with my friends some night, I noticed that she was working the overnight shift, so my friends and I went clubbing for a bit and then, after being stone cold fucking sober we decided that dancing with chicks downtown was not as much fun as it could have been…well, what do you expect morons, it’s fucking Tuesday! Anyway after all this had been done I suggested that we drive back to my work and we go see the girl I, at this point, had a bit of a crush on. Now they didn’t want to take a trip back to where we just came so I promised them I would give her my number before we left. I stopped into the coffee shop, ordered my two wingmen something and ordered a double cupped coffee for myself. Immediately I needed help…no pen…fuck, plan A is dying. (Don’t worry plan A works after so no need for me to list plans A-S23 for you…yeah, I over prepare…wanna fight about it?) Anyway, I needed a pen, one of my wingmen asked her (the girl I like) for a pen so that I might write my name and number for her. On the bottom of the second coffee cup I put my name and number and while on the way out I gave it to her and I said “this is my name and number, if you want to use it, great, if not, no hard feelings, ok?”. After all, we did work in the same neighbourhood and I didn’t want things to be odd for her because I do stop in on a semi-regular basis. She gave a smile and I’m sure she was a little caught off guard. Now, I don’t know what you all will think of this, whether you would text an odd looking blonde dude dressed in all black after he gave you his number on the bottom of a coffee cup but SHE did text me. We’ve been talking pretty much ever since and we’ve been having a good time. Around 2-3 weeks of getting to know her I knew I was in trouble. See, the problem is that I don’t make connections with females easily, I generally have a more mature sense of humour and don’t like when girls don’t get me or can’t laugh at the same things. It won’t offend me but when I am living my life I generally get down sometimes and I just need someone who can say one thing to make me laugh and the day will be, not necessarily better, but liveable again. But if you don’t get me, you’ll never say the right thing. This is purely a me thing, I don’t suggest asking for someone who understands you and will know how to cheer you up because you’ll be single for as long as I have been *checks calendar* …yep…too long. I’ve had my opportunities with girls, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t believe in bullshit, if you can’t make a relationship…what’s the point? I don’t play games and I don’t like being played…at all…I personally think it’s very cruel to play with someone who just admitted they like you. Especially when it’s as hard to do as it was for me. Admitting you’re nuts about a girl is hard, to say the least, telling them is another feat entirely, but as I’m sure you’re beginning to tell, I am not faint of heart, so of course the second I knew that I was falling for her a little, I told her.

This is where things get hard for me, its not that she wasn’t into me, but that she had been hurt before…a lot, her first serious boyfriend didn’t treat her well and was throwing out years of commitment. She was broken, but that’s ok, I can redeem a guy or two… I think, or at least for her…I’ll try. We hang out for a bit and she seems kinda lukewarm to me, nothing amazing going on with her side of the table, I don’t blame her, I’m not really all that amazing when I’m tired and just finished a shift at work and hungover but we keep talking. I bring her treats at work after my shift and run down to see her to keep her company for a bit and then run home, if she says she’s hungry, I’ll bring her food, if she says she feels sick I’ll nurse her back to health as much as I can. I’d do anything for this girl. As you may realize, and I didn’t, the part of me that cares about someone more than I normally do and tries to comfort them (the really nice side of me)…is alive and well at this point and SHE revived it. I hate that side of me because now I’m stuck, I’m stuck wanting her to like me and she is still just either beginning to trust me or likes me but not enough to be more than friends. I don’t know, she’s really careful not to hurt my feelings, she fired a “we’re just friends” out and saw the crushed look on my face and then felt the need to tell me that I was the first person who’s number she had gotten that she actually used, or that before I came along she wasn’t interested in guys at all after her previous boyfriend. I guess now I hit the point where I was sick of the puzzles, the games and trying to figure her out. It was interesting but I had far too much invested (and that’s my own fault). I needed to know something. I recently took her to a party and nothing really happened. See, the thing is ladies and gents (see, I just did it for equality) you can’t just play around, at some point things need to fall away and you need to let someone in and tell them, at least a little, how you feel. This point hasn’t happened and it’s been more than a month. I’m not saying I’m impatient, I’m just saying that it seems more and more that she’s trying to keep me at arms length and only might pull me in.

This is the dreaded “friend zone”. This is what happens when you become too nice and let them value who you are. They become comfortable with you and you get stuck here, they want nothing more than that. A lot of people look at this as a “death sentence” to a relationship or the potential of one…it is. However, even though I am stuck, there is the hope of moving out of the friend zone, I’ve seen it happen, though it is rare. But, when you don’t make many connections with girls and you find something you’ve been waiting for after such a long time you’re willing to do a lot for the possibility of having something really special. But in my case, again being brave and hoping to not here the “let’s just be friends” phrase that haunts my dreams, I said to her “Listen, if you wanted to be just friends, I would understand, I know that people sometimes turn their backs on other people when they say that but …I just really want you to be happy, I like you enough that I would let you go if that’s what you really wanted and I’d still be there for you after.” She told me that she respected me and that she “doesn’t know yet”. This, my friends…is supposed to be a good sign… Whatever, I’m spinning the wheels a bit here. I gave her an out and she didn’t take it. Anyway, moving forward, I have known her for a month and a bit, I’m crazy about her, I think about her all the time and she very clearly doesn’t have the same interest level, now that’s not to say she’s not interested at all, we hang out and have fun and flirt, she has said I’m sweet and she has shown that she cares about me but she sometimes tries to hide that she cares about me and usually tries to make her interest seem that of just slightly more than that of a basic friend, but I forgive her that as I know that its hard to trust people when your last serious relationship was a massive blow up and you really don’t want anything to do with guys for a while, not to mention that I’ve only known her for a month and a bit. I guess the difference is that I know that I want her; I know we’d be great together, but I don’t think she’s as optimistic.

This is the conclusion and while it I have already stated that it is the conclusion, it is also the end. I don’t play games and I don’t want to, and keeping me at arms length is not doing me any favours, I give and give and it seems all very one sided. Now, don’t blame her, she doesn’t ask for anything, I just listen and hear things she wants and act based on what I know. Yes, I am the nice guy but maybe she doesn’t want the nice guy, or any guy, or maybe she wants a guy, maybe a nice one, but not me in particular. That’s fine. The reason I say that this is fine is because I am sick of the people who feel they need to protect themselves, who feel that they need to test and hide. This summer, I took a risk on a beautiful, amazing, intelligent girl. I can safely say that she’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I really want to be more than I am to her, sadly, I don’t think I will be, but I have been wrong before. I sit here, defeated, out of ideas, down, but I’m not out! Until she tells me that she doesn’t want me as anything more than a friend, I will keep trying, it might hurt me in the end but she’s worth the effort. And the pain you ask? Well, let me reference the beginning: you can’t get anything in this world without risking something. You will not have a successful relationship without risking your feelings, you won’t get the your desired job if you don’t apply for fear of rejection and you won’t ever know if something could develop between you and the cute girl at the coffee shop unless you give her your number. So, to all the THB lovers and readers, though we may have all of the hurt and baggage of relationships passed sitting on our shoulders and the “lessons” of the past in our heads. I ask not that you denounce your experience, as the lesson of not going for a “boob grab” on the first date is an actual pure gold lesson that I think should be taught in primary school. I merely ask that you lower your protection, we’ve all been hurt before but you can’t just shut down, you need to love with all of your heart, put something of yourself into the things you do for a someone special, don’t worry about rejection and the agony so much, because at the end of the day the effort that you put in might have been rejected but it might have meant a lot to that someone special. For you sports fans, Babe Ruth was the leader of the league in homeruns but he was also the leader in strikeouts, the lesson? Keep swinging and swinging hard, you’ll hit one eventually.

Never, EVER, give up on something you like or love until its gone for sure because you’ll never forgive yourself for not fighting, for not trying. But you can forgive yourself for failing. If you gave everything you could, you’ll have nothing to be ashamed of. I won’t sugar coat it, relationships hurt, they’re hard and they can end badly…this is beginning to sound a lot like sex…but remember that they can also change your life, they can make you happier than you were and they can make see a side of yourself that you thought dead and gone (see entire article). So, I thought to myself, even though I have failed I think people should see that its not all about the end result, in fact, you’ll find relationships are about the journey, and someone who is truly worth it, will make the journey worthwhile. Remember, however, that journey’s are long, sometimes painful and sometimes end suddenly…here we go with sounding like sex again. So, finally, my tail end advice, if you skipped the whole article to get here this is really all you need…sorry to all of you who read my story :-). Don’t be reckless with people’s hearts and don’t put up with those that are reckless with yours, love like haven’t been hurt, hold people you care about close because all relationships need maintenance at some point. Finally, even though we talk snide about our previous relationships, don’t let the negative emotions fill you with the ideas and pessimism that things will never work. I am writing this after failing and I know that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of, I treated that girl well and yeah, it probably won’t work out but at the very least I met someone amazing that restored my faith that I can fall for someone again and yes, I am hurt but the journey was worth it.

Thursday 18 August 2011

Dating Horror Story – The Grinch who stole my 21st birthday

Since you guys seemed to really enjoy my last relationship horror story I thought I’d share another one with you. This one is about the Grinch who stole my 21st birthday.

I met the Grinch at my local pub which in hindsight should have been my first red flag. I had been eyeing him up for months and he was flirting back but never made a move. So on New Year’s Eve I decided fuck it and made the first move myself. We ended up having a great night and we swopped numbers.

For the next month we texted and chatting a little but not much more than that. The guy moved slower than a snail. With a little pushing from my friend we ended up in a relationship just after Valentine’s Day.

It was never a happy relationship the guy had issues. Issues he managed to hide pretty damn well until we were in an actual relationship. He had problems knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he did drugs too. Which would have been a deal breaker if I had known.

One night he called me from town drunk begging me to come get him. So I agreed to pick him up. Not a great idea. I couldn’t get the idiot out of my car. I spent 40 minutes outside his house trying to get him out. Pulling, pushing, and kicking him. I wasn’t having much luck. I managed to get him half way out of my car. Then he looked at me laughed and got back in and shut my car door. Needless to say I didn’t find it so funny. I gave up after that and drove home and left him in my car to sleep it off.

I went inside and got ready for bed. About 3 hours later I hear a noise at my front door. I got out of bed to check it out and it was the Grinch trying to get in my house with his house key. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I let him in because I had no real choice and let the asshole take my bed and I took the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass but I listened to friends and gave him another chance. (That was a stupid move and I’m no longer friends with those people.)

In May of that year he dragged me to a family wedding. We all know how I feel about weddings. This wedding was worse because his family is a walking, talking Adam’s Family. It was a fucking nightmare. Or should that be he was a fucking nightmare.

He was drunk and loud and really rude to his family. I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He was such as ass I actually ended up putting him on the floor. The dude was acting like a fucking child. It was total nightmare.

I had every plan on dumping him but it was 10 days till my birthday so I decided to hang on until then. I figured I deserved a present after the way he acted. I never did get the present because two days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that poor excuse for a man dumped me.

Needless to say I was more than a little pissed off. I wasn’t hurt or sad about the break up; I was just plain old mad. Who was he to dump me after the way he acted?

He added to my anger when I found out he had plans to pop in and see me at my birthday party. I had been saying for months I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday but him and my best friend at the time forced me into planning a night out. Once we broke up I figured I didn’t have to go out now. And I was free to spend the night the way I wanted to. I was wrong.

I actually had a great night until Mr. Grinch showed up. When I saw him I actually saw red. I really don’t remember much after that until we were outside talking and he said something. I guess I didn’t like what he said because I punched him square in the jaw. He was out cold. I remember feeling cheated because he went down so easily, I wanted to kick the shit out of him. The real punch line is he’s a personal trainer who had just gotten back from a boxing course. Guess they forgot to teach him how to keep his hands up.

I got a lot of praise for punching him and putting him in his place. Guess he had rubbed more than just me up the wrong way. As good as it felt, it really sucks that’s how my 21st will always be remembered. He stole the night from me. Why would you show up where you knew your ex is going to be on her birthday?

It still makes me mad to think about that relationship. But I’ve learned my lesson. Never date people you have a chance of running into once you’ve broken up. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo