Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Friday 20 November 2020

Well That Didn’t Last Long

 


Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, it was not me and dating you had to worry about, it was Hugh and dating that should have been the concern. After 5 dates we have decided to call things off. Hugh just isn’t ready yet, and I completely understand, I was there. And to be honest, I had my suspicions early on this may have been the case, but I chose to ignore the red flag. I, however, don’t really regret that decision.

I am hopeful that Hugh and I can remain friends, actually hanging out, doing things friends. I’ve said this all along things are easy between us, we can giggle and talk, and we share a lot of the same interests. My guard has been down with him from almost the very beginning, I have been just me and he’s handled it well. I kid that someone has given him a handbook or manual on how to deal with me. It’s just natural to him. When my mom passed away, he was perfect. I know how bad that could have been for me if he wasn’t there. He instinctively calms me down and he doesn’t know he’s doing it. He often places his hand on the part of my back, I press against the wall to calm my anxiety. I feel better when I am with him.

It makes me giggle because he was so concerned about me attaching when we were dating. And I did, but not in the loved up mushy way. I attached in a this person is awesome and I like having them around way. He is a good guy and I like him as a human. He’s the only person right now I can be totally honest with. I feel alone and he helps without knowing. I can just be myself, no walls, no acts, just me and it’s nice. With everyone else, I have to tough, I have to be strong, I have things I needed to worry about, perceptions, gossip. None of that is a thing with him, I get to just be.

I pray, nothing changes this. Truth be told, I didn’t need or want a boyfriend or the sex (no matter how good it may have been), I needed a friend and he’s a pretty damn good one.

Anyways, I am off before my eyes leak juices everywhere. As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

Friday 5 July 2019

Halfway There


Welcome to July ladies and gentlemen. The year is officially half over, and it seems like now is as good a time as any to reflex on the year so far and to see where we are with the goals we set in January. Hopefully we can point ourselves in the right direction to actually achieve some of those goals before we run out of time.

Let’s start with my “love life”. Yep, it’s so bad it gets quotation marks. Still single, still mainly ok with it. This year, I feel, isn’t the year for that. It sucks knowing time is against me, but I need to be a good me before I can be there for someone else.

My job is next up on the list. I still have a love hate relationship with it. The hate isn’t that strong at the moment, but I know it’s just around the corner. I feel my July review will be telling. I have other offers and depending on what is said and what money is offered, it may be time to move on.

Next is my blog. I am not sucking at this one. I haven’t missed a week yet. My numbers are looking good. My ad revenue blows; I think I was actually making more when I wasn’t posting regularly. But, that’s AdSense for you. I’m still not rocking the social media side of things, but baby steps. I’m happy where I am at the moment.

My health was the last goal I wrote about in January; it’s a thing. I have stuck to using my treadmill every day. I feel better for it. My weight still isn’t a focus, but I think I may be getting to a better place where it can be. I feel a lot less mentally exhausted. I think my head is finally wrapped around everything, at least for now.

And that’s where we are halfway through the year. Some progress has been made. Some more could be made. But, so far, so average. That brings me to the question of the blog; How are you doing with your goals for 2019? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 31 May 2019

Team Tyler


A lot of you have been asking for an update on Tyler, and I don’t really have one; Nothing has changed. I know a lot of you think he’s “the one” or “he’s perfect for me”. I think you’ve all watched one too many rom coms.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Tyler to bits, he plays a very important role in my life; keeping me sane and stopping me falling to pieces. I’m very grateful to have him around. Somehow, he has found a way to bring out the non-evil bitch in me even though I was positive that side of me was dead. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

That said, we share different wants in life. He doesn’t want kids, I… haven’t made that choice yet. He doesn’t see himself getting married. I do. He doesn’t want to relocate, I can’t. He is very extroverted, while I’d happily never leave my house again. People are very peopley and I just can’t these days. I understand the why your Team Tyler, he is a great guy, but I don’t see it happening and I'm positive he doesn’t see it happening either.

Love you guys, thanks for not writing off my love life just yet. I’ll leave you with this question; is “the one” an actual thing or are we all deluding ourselves? Let me know your thoughts in the comments down below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 21 December 2018

The Gay Husband's Bright Idea


My lovely, dear, gay husband has had another one of his “bright idea” and I thought I’d let you in on his latest brain wave because personally it made me laugh.

The gay husband is over the whole Steve thing, he believes he’s all talk and while he served a purpose, that purpose has now been served. Fair enough, I guess. However, he believes I should replace Steve with, wait for it, his brother Tyler.

Now, if you’re anything like me, your reaction to that was “wait, what?”. The words just did not compute. He has his logic and some of it is understandable, but it still sounds crazy to me.

His logic is that Tyler is clearly someone I am comfortable with; he’s seen me without makeup, he’s seen many unflattering pictures of me, he’s someone I communicate with easily. We share a lot of the same interests (country music, musicals, crappy films), and we have a similar sense of humour. I don’t dispute any of that. However, the same could be said for most of my friends.

There also many other issues the gay husband is overlooking. Starting with his brother; now imagine for a second, he was right, and me Tyler started dating…. How messed up would have Thanksgiving be? Dating Tyler, sat across from his brother whom I use to sext? That’s not a thing.

Then you have the other issues, like he’s younger than me, I don’t date younger guys. You have the distance, you have secrets, he’s doesn’t know I blog, and he can’t find out for obvious reasons. And then you have the fact I am not ever sure he’s straight!

I am pretty sure the gay husband is way off on this one but let me know what you think in the comments below. I’d love to know your thoughts and the gay husband would love to find out if anyone is on his side. Anyways, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 16 November 2018

Looks Don’t Matter


I made a comment a few posts back about looks not being a deal breaker and this raised a few questions and bought on quite the debate, so I thought I’d elaborate on my stance a bit.

Now, don’t get me wrong physical attraction is a plus and if it’s there awesome, but it’s not the be all and end all. For me at least, being attracted to someone’s personality is way more important. Sex with pretty people who you want to stab when they open their mouths isn’t sustainable. Personalities on the other hand tend to last. And, in most relationships anyways, you tend to spend more time clothed than naked, so there needs to be more than looks build a happy healthy relationship.

There are actually scientific studies that back up my stance, apparently “traditional attraction” wears off after 18-24 months. And apparently, that’s the point where a lot of issues tend to surface. When that “honeymoon” or “lust” phase wears off relationships fizzle out if there isn’t something else to draw them together.

I, on occasion, have chosen to skip that lust phase. I’ve dated guys whose personalities I enjoyed, but who may not have been my idea of sexually stunning. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t monsters, but I also didn’t look at them and want them naked either. That said, just because they didn’t make me drool doesn’t mean they couldn’t make me scream. Just because I wasn’t into them looks wise doesn’t mean the sex was bad. Actually, from my experience, what they say is true, good looking men tend to not be great in bed because they don’t have to be. While less stunning men, well, they develop skills to compensate.

Anyways, that’s my two cents on the matter. I’m going to go and enjoy what remains of the last day of my holiday. I shall leave you with the question though; Do looks matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 28 September 2018

Control


Continuing my mission to make horrible decisions with my life; I am currently debating reinstalling Plenty of Fish. Now, I’ve had zero luck with POF in the past, a couple of dates, none of which I’d recommend. I personally find it depressing and good way to loss fate in the goodness of men. But, that’s kind of the name of the game at the minute.

There is also the issue that I hate dating. It’s just not for me. Every relationship I’ve had, I’ve fallen into., no dating involved.  So clearly a dating site isn’t my best option. Let alone a free dating site which tends to draw in a less “relationship based” clientele. That said, I find pay for sites draw a needy desperate clientele, so both have their cons.

So, why do it you ask? Control. I’m under so disillusions, I understand my destructive behaviour. I have no control over a large portion of my life right now. My mom is dying, it’s just a matter of time. I have zero control over my work situation at the moment, I’m just trying to survive. I’m single, and you can’t force nor rush love, it happens when it happens.  So, I’m drawn to the things I can control. Lucky for me, I have no will power, because I’m pretty sure that mentality is how eating disorders and things like that start. I on the other hand find my sense of control in my sex life.  

If you’ve been around a while, you’ll know throughout my teen and early 20s I did the same thing. Although at that point in my life I didn’t understand what I was doing or why I was doing it. Mr. X was the reason I came out of the spiral. Not sure if it was a blessing or a curse in the long run.

The problem is at my age, I’m not young and stupid anymore. I understand fully what’s going on. What I haven’t learned is a better way of coping.  

Anyways, I am going to go and drink because that sounds like the healthier option. But I do have this question for you. What do you do to find a sense of control? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 7 September 2018

Don’t Settle For Less Than A Steve


Forgetting the fact, the whole Steve thing is morally reprehensible. It has proven to be a good learning opportunity and even seems to have facilitated some self-growth.

This was never more evident to me, then the other night at work. Both Steve and Mr. Block were messaging me at the same time and both conversations were eerily similar but handle in two very different manners.

I had sent both a picture of me at my desk, the image was cleavage heavy, however, I am cleavage heavy so unless I’m in a turtle neck that’s always an issue. Steve’s response was to ask me to remove the filter because “I don’t need it”. While, Mr. Block’s response was to ask me to get my tits fully out. It’s safe to say only one of them received any further images.

Now I am aware both of these gentlemen were after the same thing. Neither of them had pure intentions. Their motivation was more pictures to perv at. But, the old adage is true, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. And Steve is masterful at this.

Steve is basically a horny genius and he really should consider writing a book on his skills. He has mastered the technique of building you up to get the end result he wants. At this point, I can’t tell if this is something he does consciously or subconsciously and to be honest, I don’t want to know.

I’ve gone substantially further with him, digitally speaking, than with any other guys and the reason is simple. He builds me up, he makes me feel good, sexy, cute, he gives and as a result I want to give back. I want to make him feel that same way. Unlike a lot of other guys, who are all about them, who want to know what you’re going to do to them; he’s all about what he’s going to do for you. It’s a nice change.

Motivation aside; the technique is flawless, and the end result is a win, win. He gets off and my confidence is back, and I feel better in myself.

All that said, he is also a genuinely nice guy, which certainly does help the charm factor. He has quickly become one of my favourite humans to talk to at work. It has nothing to do with the flirting, although that is a nice touch, but he is a calm influence and a good voice of reason in a very stressful environment.

Just recently, I was having an issue at work and he the one I turned to not the work BFF. He was so sweet and went out of his way to make sure I was ok, and he offered some incredibly useful advice. I felt so looked after and in such safe hands, I haven’t felt the need to mention it to the work BFF at all.

The issue I have now is when I compare the likes of Mr. Block to Steve (not apples to apple, I know) it doesn’t balance out. Knowing how I feel with Steve, I’m left wondering why Mr. Block’s approach is acceptable. Why should I consider settling for less? I shouldn’t be left questioning things after a conversion with a guy. I shouldn’t be left questioning myself. I am something special, if not to him, to someone.  And if he doesn’t see that or doesn’t make me feel that way, fuck him. Nobody and I mean nobody, should settle for less than a Steve.

Anyways, I am going to go and enjoy the time rest of the time I have off. This post took way longer to write than it should have. But, for I go I have this question for you; What makes you feel special? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch  
xoxo



Friday 31 August 2018

I Told Me So


When you have been a blogger as long as I have (8 years here, 6 on the previous site) sooner or later you’ll prove yourself to be an idiot and won’t even realise it. This is going to be one of those stories, so stay with me until the end.

A few days ago, out the blue my old work husband popped up again, last seen in May for anyone who is keeping score. He sent me a message explained he’d been having family issues and that’s why he hadn’t not been in touch and asking if I was still up for meeting for drinks. I said sure, why not. It would be nice to finally meet after all these years.

Then something happened, during this friendly conversation, this meet up suddenly went from a meet up to an actual date.  And in this moment, I learned something about myself. I don’t like the word “date”.  Mainly because I don’t date, I haven’t for years. I don’t like dating, it’s stupid. Something just about the word makes me nervous and instantly makes me want to cancel. I know this is stupid, but I don’t care.

However, I did talk myself in off the ledge, and I decided to keep the date. At the end of the day, I am a blogger and material is hard to come by. What is the worst that can happen right? At least that was my decision.

I was prompted while writing the post, you’ll hopefully see next week, to look back to through my old blogs. I was certain I had written about the work husband in the past and wanted his “name” for consistency purposes. After looking back through a lot of posts, I found it, boy did I find.

November 2014 was where he was hiding. What was his name you ask? Mr. Block. Anyone remember that prick? To honest, I didn’t until I reread everything. This is where the whole I am idiot comes in.

Frankly, I wasn’t having great feelings towards this date anyways for reasons to be discussed next week. There were signs were there. But, it stings so much more when it’s your own words telling you, your choice of men is horrible and clearly, it’s not improving.

This brings us nicely to the question of the blog; Do you let bygones by bygones or do you heed the warning of the past? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch  
xoxo

Friday 24 August 2018

Understanding A Blogger


It’s a rarity to find someone who understands a blogger, mainly because we don’t tend to understand ourselves half the time. I’ve often said, I don’t know what I am truly thinking until I read it back. And to find someone who is understanding of that process is damn near impossible.

If you’ve been here a while you’ll know, I’ve had my fair share of blog related drama over the years. A couple of lawsuits (all won, by the way), a couple breakups and more than a few fights. Blogging is not something everyone can handle nor understand, and I get it. The likes of Mr. X couldn’t even handle my blog sometimes, and he’s a blogger himself. Which are all reasons why I tend to keep my URL to myself.

Then enters Steve, who has challenged all my preconceived notions of someone being able to understand the process. And to be honest, I’m a little pissed off about it. Which I am positive isn’t a normal response, but I gave up on normal years ago.

If you read my last post you know Steve and I had minor issue a few days ago (a few weeks ago by the time you’re reading this). The following day he wanted to know what set me off and why I was so upset. At this point I explained, I needed to write first, then I’d explain everything. And to my horror he ok with this. He actually understood where I was coming from. What the hell?

He actually managed to explain my logic to me on the matter in a better way than I could. He totally understood what was going on and he fine with it. If he doesn’t get mad at what he reads here; he might actually be the perfect man. And clearly that pisses me off.

Allow me to explain that one; I am pissed off that for years I’ve made excuses for douchebag men who couldn’t handle the blog, when clearly the skill set to cope is out there. I’m pissed off that more than once I’ve settled for guys who couldn’t cope, when I shouldn’t have. And I’m pissed up that this gem that can cope is wasted on a non-blogger. 

Apparently, I am just pissed off, but what else is new eh? But as always, I’ll be ok. And at least now I know it’s possible to find someone who isn’t a man child about the whole blogging thing. So, who knows, maybe there is hope I’ll find someone someday. Personally, my money is still on 700 cats, but you never know.

Anyways, you beautiful bastards, I am going to go and try to shift my hangover. But before I leave you I have this question; what skill or quality have you given up trying to find in a partner? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 27 July 2018

Dating in a Male Dominated Industry


I’ve recently done some research on women in male dominated industries and the effect it has on their life both physically and romantically. To be honest, I was shocked by the research out there. And not only that, but, I was shocked by the stigma single women get from men when they work in an industry dominated by man.

Let’s address the stigma first because, I don’t understand it. Maybe you require a penis to understand the “logic” on this one. But it seems ridiculous to me.

Men seem to believe women who are single in a male dominated industries are broken, or damaged or in some way faulty. Their “logic” seems to be if they can't get a guy with that number of men around them, they're not worth having. 

These guys clearly have forgotten the golden rule “don’t shit where you eat!” Do not mix business with pleasure, it’s a horrible idea. And when you disqualify the guys you’re around 50 hours a week, it’s hard to find a man that can handle their partner being around men 50 hours a week. I’ve worked in transport over a decade and I can count on 1 hand the amount of men that have been ok with my job and most of them worked in the industry themselves. 

We’re definitely not broken, at least not any more so than other women, the system just doesn’t work in our favor. Unless, of course, you plan to climb the company ladder wrong by wrong.

What I was really surprised by is all the research regarding the negative health effects working in a male dominated industry has on women. Where was that warning when I started my career 10 years ago? They are physical risks like women tend to have higher cholesterol and nutritional deficits. And then there’s the mental risks that are even scarier.

Research has found that in a male dominated work place, the hormone found when a person is stressed is on average 15% higher in women than in a man doing the same job. Add in other factors such as lack of support, workplace harassment and sexual harassment and the risk of mental issues pile up. The number of women who work in a male dominated environment that are prescribed medication for mental issues is scary. Some studies have the figure as high as 70%. 

Those figures, actually back up something I’ve said over recent years. I can’t cope with dating and my work life. The men at work drain me mentally and when I get home, I can’t deal with bullshit. I’m snappy and lack almost all patience. Things need to either work effortlessly or I’m out. And since you’re meant to work at a healthy relationship. I am out.

I started my research hoping to find out it was possible to have a healthy relationship while working in a male industry and I’m even less sure than I was before.  The odds are simply not with us. I’m not about to say it's impossible. We pick “impossible” career paths so women in these industries know how to beat the odds. It’s just not as easy or straight forward. And personally, it’s not a fight I am willing to go through at the moment, but for the right guy I am sure it’s possible.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always. Stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Friday 30 June 2017

Is This It?

Despite the fact I enjoy being single and the easiness that comes with it. Over recent days, I’ve been starting to wonder; Is this it?

I’m 30 years old now; I always pictured myself getting married and having kids but, in realistic terms, time is running out and it’s not like there is anything on the horizon either. I’m starting to wonder if marriage and kids just aren’t on the cards for me.

With all these thoughts in my head, my brain drifts to those things you hear in passing, like everyone only gets two great loves in their lifetime. I’ve been aware for years if that’s true, I’m fucked. My two have long come and gone. And with that knowledge once and a while, I wondered to myself did I blow my chance?

If you’ve been here a while, my two great loves won’t be a surprise to you. Of course, you have Mr. X who I won’t go into, I have plenty of posts on this site that’ll explain that whole mess. Then you have Chicken Man, who has been on my mind a lot lately.

Chicken Man is unquestionably my other “great love”, that man completely shook me to my core and did nothing but change me for the better. Where Mr. X tore me down. Chicken Man built me up. He entered my life at just the right time and was exactly what I needed. However, due to him traveling for work and things like that, the relationship just faded out over time. However; when I think back on it, I can’t help but wonder what if?

Anyways; enough of that, I need to go and pack for my holiday. When you’re reading this, I will be on my way to London to celebrate Canada’s 150th Birthday and I can’t wait. But, before I go, I have this question for you; Do you believe we only get two great loves? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always. Stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday 19 May 2017

Lost Cause At 30

I was having lunch with my Mom the other day and we were talking about my upcoming 30th birthday and in this conversation, she casually commented that she’s long given up on my getting married and having kids. First things firstthanks mom, love you too, and second of all; I’m 30, I am not past my sell by date just yet.

I knew what she meant, however, days before my 30th part of me heard that comment as her calling me unlovable and telling me I was going to die alone. When in fact she was commenting on how happy I seem on my own and that I’m not longing after anything, love or kids. I am happy and am kicking butt at the minute.

Despite knowing what she meant, part of me is a little hurt. Why can’t I kick butt and have love and kids too? I’m 30, there’s still time, my eggs are rotten yet. I am, despite my mother’s comment, lovable. I mean, perfectly messed up unavailable men are into me, so surely there must be a decent one out there somewhere I don’t repulse.

Or maybe I’m wrong and I am an egg salad sandwich; bonus points if you know what that’s from. Anyways, I am going to go and drink, because that’s what unlovable people do. But, before I go I have this question for you; at what age are you a lost cause? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Monday 10 April 2017

A Blogger’s Reaction

Mr. X’s Wife is having a baby.

I received this news a few hours ago as I’m writing this, Saturday in your world. And I’m most surprised how ingrained blogging is in me. My focus has turned very quickly from the effect it was having on me, to my blog.

Let me start by saying, I’m not even going to try and pretend I took the news well. I lost it. I started crying, uncontrollability. I throw up, then slid down the door and just trembled. And once I could see my phone again through the tears, I lost my temper with Mr. X. (I’ll explain that more in a different blog) Despite it all, I feel I restrained myself well. It could have been worse, I definitely had things I could have said and didn’t.

Mainly because my brain switched to my blog. I had posts planned this week; one of you asked the interested question; would the person I am now, date the person Mr. X was. I thought it would make a great post, I can’t write that now. Some of you asked if Mr. X would do another guest post, another great idea. Although I’m not sure I could handle that now. I had all these things planned and it's fucked, he fucked it.

I’ve been blogging over half my life, so I guess it shouldn’t be surprising my brain heads there. I’ve often said I blog to stay sane. And I’m fighting to stay sane at the moment. My brain is frazzled, I’m can’t think straight. I’m just holding on to what pieces I can, hoping I don’t fall completely apart.

I am going to go and get some sleep. And hopefully when I wake up I’ll have a better outlook on things. And with a little like this shaking will have stopped because it’s driving me crazy. I should really leave you with a question, but I have too many to ask and none of which I truly want answers too.

Anyways, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday 31 March 2017

Good Idea, Gone Bad

I really must learn to leave well enough alone. I just had to test whether I was dead inside or if it just the work effect. I just had to knowI’m a dumbass.

“Sure, I miss that face, that skin, that kissing ability, that sarcasm... but someone who gets me, someone who understands me, more than most - It makes me miss you.”  - Mr. X

If I was at work, I know for a fact, that wouldn’t have had any effect on me. But, because I was at home, all the feelings. It made me remember that connection we had and why I loved him. It made me remember he wasn’t always evil.

I’m a fucking genuine. I get mad at him for frustrating comments, that are useless in the grand scheme and there I am doing the same sort of thing.

Anyways, I’m going to go and drink and pretend I didn’t open that whole can of worms.  But before I go I have this question for you; what was the last thing you regret doing? Let me know in the comment box below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday 24 March 2017

Let’s Get Drunk and Talk

Let me start with normal disclaimer: This post will be written drunk and edited drunk. Once I have sobered up I will not touch the post again.  I will of course answer comments and all that, but there will be no sober editing done. Now that that’s all been said, let’s bring on the tequila.

Mr. X that is the big question and something both you and I and probably him would like answers on.

1.      “I miss you” is the most useless, misleading, bullshit comment ever spoken by a human being.

That statement makes me more angry than anything. It’s designed to be an emotion fuck. It’s a “I’m in a happy marriage, but I miss you.” How useless and utterly disruptive is that comment? It achieves nothing. Other than evidently pissing me off.

2.      Balance

Balance is the answer to all popular question “why are you still friends with him.” Mr. X has always brought balance to me and me to him whether he likes to admit it or not. Maybe not as much these days, because I’ve learned and have been able to take his heartless logical… ness and implement it myself. But, he still is a source of reason for me.

3.      I will not be “the other woman”.

While Mr. X is married, he will not be touched in any way by me! Other then maybe me slapping him, because…. I’m sure he has it coming. I will not play second fiddle to anyone and that’s that.

4.      Is there a future?

I have never ruled out anything with Mr. X. Our history is undeniable. The spark is undeniable. That said, we never dated, we never had time to learn each other, so I’m not going to say I’d marry the man, but I’d be willing to see what is there.

5.      I don’t know what I feel!

Mr. X has and always will have a special place in my heart. We’ve been through a lot. Forgetting the romantic side, which was a shit show. He’s always been a good friend to me and someone to lean on. He’s been one of those people who make you better… his method may be questionable, but the results there.

All that said, my point about never dating remains. I wish we gave it shot back then. I wish we could have seen what was there. I wish things had gone differently, but they didn’t. And life goes on and things, at least for me, worked out well. 

6.      I wish nobody failure in their marriage.

Do I wonder how things could have gone? Of course. But life wrote a different story. And maybe it’ll bring us together one day so whose knows. Maybe he needed marriage number 1 to change him to be better for marriage 2.  I don’t pretend to know what the future has in store. I just hope he’s happy by the end of it.  That’s all I really want, is him to be genially happy.

And since that sentence made me cry, today’s drunk blog is over. I hope it was entertaining, made sense, answered some questions, and more than anything I hope the hangover won’t make me pray death. Before I go I’ll leave you with this question: what are your hangover cures? Let me know your answer to that, any other thoughts you may have in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo


Friday 10 March 2017

"I Miss You"

I’ve been a little baffled by my lack of reaction to this whole “I miss you” thing. And after a little thought; more than I’ve given the actual statement in all fairness, I think I understand why. I miss you is a very vague statement. In the grand scheme of things, it means almost nothing, and that’s probably why I’ve felt almost nothing regarding it.

I miss my old Corsa. I’m not going to do anything about it, the car is nearly 20 years old at this point and is long gone, but I miss it. It was a good car to me. That about sums up Mr. X’s statement. I’m broken down car with fond memories attached.

"I miss you" is so vague, what does it even mean? Does it mean anything? I suppose if I want these questions answered I should just ask Mr. X.

But, do I want them answered?

I feel I may be too sober for this conversation. Actually, I feel like I’ve been tricked into having a different conversation, one I didn’t want to have. Because you should never ask questions you don’t want the answer to. And I don't think the answer benefits me in any way. 

Anyways, I am going to go and… drink. I think drinking is the answer here. But before I do, I have this question for you; What does “I miss you” mean and do I want the answer? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Friday 3 March 2017

Mr. X's Come Back

They say when women spend a lot of time together their cycles sync; after working in a male dominated industry for almost a decade I’m positive male cycles do the same thing. And before you a say anything, yes men have hormone cycles too. They just don’t bleed, they turn into whiny-ass bitches instead. And on my last shift this week, I swear 80 percent of my drivers were PMSing. It was a night from hell, and it wasn’t the work causing the stress, it was they guys and their attitudes.

While dealing with the headaches above, I look down at my phone and noticed Mr. X’s head popped up on Facebook. I figured what the hell, after the night I was having, what’s one more headache? I mean, I may as well deal with whatever he has to say while my night is already crap so I can enjoy my 4 days off in peace.

I look down and his comment was regarding my last post, which I figured it would be. He said he liked the post and that he swore he doesn’t try to torment me. I had two instant thoughts

 1)      If you liked it, I hope you clicked an ad.
 2)      Hmm, yeah you do.

I just replied back with “thanks” and waited for the ball to drop and it soon did. He came out with “Do you want me to be flat out honest with you?” Me being me and not really being fully in the conversation replied with “if you’d like.” He then said “I would” and then he did something he calls me out for all the time. He’d typed and deleted and typed and deleted. He eventually added “The only variable is: What do you want to know?”. 

Bearing in mind the night I was having, dealing with man-children; all I was thinking was “dude, you clearly want to tell me something. Just fucking tell me.” Admittedly, I thought it was going to go a different way than it did.  If you’ve been here a while you’ll remember the last time Mr. X had something to tell me, he told me he loved me and vanished for 6 months. I eventually replied with “Whatever you'd like to tell me.” A fairly nice response given my mind-set.
“I miss you”, was what he said next. Then he said he said to go and went.

The reaction in my head was a little detached to say the least, it was “bullshit you don’t say things just to torment me.” And then I went back to answering my phones at work.

I’ll be honest, it’s been 24 hours and I don’t think I’ve processed any of it. I came home from work yesterday had… a lot to drink, and went to bed. I woke up at 2am and wrote this. I think that might be my next post. I’ll sit down and write and let my brain figure everything out.

Anyways, that’s you up to date. And I need to go and get dressed and take my car in, hopefully it doesn’t cost me too much. But, before I go I have this question for you; do you think Mr. X says things just to torment me? Let me know the answer to that and any thoughts you may have in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday 6 January 2017

“Surviving the Holidays Single”

Over the holidays, I’ve seen hundreds of these “how to” post on surviving the holiday season single.  And I’m not going to knock them; most of the posts I saw were incredibly well written and clearly hit their niche market. For the most part they did their job; they were entertaining, got views and who knows, maybe even helped a person or two.

However, I, being the bitch I am, am here to say the one thing I didn’t see in any of those posts...

If you are having to read one these “how to survive being single” posts, STAY SINGLE!

I don’t mean this to be mean, even though I’m not sure I can say that without sounding that way. I am saying it from a lovely, caring place. If you are having to survive being single, you need to work on you. If you can’t be happy alone, you won’t be happy in a relationship. That advice is as old as the hills for a reason, it’s tried and tested.

If you’ve been here a while, you’ll know even I’ve fallen into that trap and felt my self-worth was tied to whom I was dating. I had to take that advice myself and take a massive step back and pick up the pieces and learn to love me again.

I’ve been single this whole holiday season and for a lot of time before that, and I can honestly say the fact I was single didn’t enter my mind once this holiday season, not even on New Years Eve when I had nobody to kiss at midnight. I was just happy being off work spending the time with my loved ones and also enjoying some much needed me time.

As always these are just my thoughts on the matters, feel free to leave me yours; do you think there is a need for singles survivor guides? Let me know in the comments box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo


Friday 30 December 2016

Moving On To 2107

As I sit here and think about everything that has happened over the past 12 months, I can’t help, but be pleased that 2016 is finally over.

My love life has been dull and barely existent. And to be fair the bits that have existed, I really wish hadn’t.

My social life and health has been poor, both clearly linked. Due to back problems and stress I just haven’t been as active and that has had a knock on effect to other parts of my life.

My work life has been stale, unrewarding and stressful. I mean I broke my damn toe because of my frustration at work… that’s not normal.

That said, despite all the negativity 2016 has brought, I can’t help but be somewhat optimistic for 2017.

I’m starting the year back on track with my blog, even though the social media side is still lagging, the actual site is getting regular content. I have a big night out planned for the end of January which should be good for both my social life and my working relationships. I’m starting 2017 with a 2-grand pay raise. So, 2017 isn’t looking hopeless by any means. There’s actually a lot to looking forward to.

I just hope it stays moving in that direction. And on that oddly positive note, I am going to leave you and make an early start on my New Years drinking. But, before I go, I have this question for you; what are you optimistic for in 2017? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo