Thursday 25 December 2014

Christmas Eve History

If you’ve been here a while, you may remember Mr. X’s Christmas Eve spectacular; and if you’re new here I shall give you a brief synopsis. Christmas Eve 2009 Mr. X turned me into the bitch I am now. He told me he had feelings for me and there was something there. And then less than an hour later he decided he “just couldn’t” and vanished.

I’m not going to lie, that fucked me up….badly and years down the line I still carry those scars but at the same time I’m very grateful. That gave me a lot of strength and that was never more evident than last night when Mr. Block sent me a message that was flat out wrong and very low.

From what I can gather he was out drinking and he sent me this message “Come on it’s time to fuck me or leave me alone xx”. Before Mr. X that message would have had me tears, but now that message just enraged me. On what planet is that an acceptable thing to say to anyone, let alone to say to someone on Christmas Eve?

Now I could be over reacting given the day of the year and it’s not so pleasant history but I don’t think I am. I also think, if that’s the game he’s going to play, he can go die a slow painful death. I’m after an adult relationship and he keeps proving himself to be a child. And I’m just not interested in that.

Anyways, it’s Christmas so that's enough of that; I’m going to go and spend time with people who love me for me and not just for my vagina. But before I do, I shall leave you with a question; on what planet is that message acceptable? Let me know your thoughts in the comment below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Sunday 21 December 2014

The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday 18 December 2014

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Saturday 13 December 2014

Sabotage

I’m going to do something that I would never recommend anybody in their right mind do. I’m going to tell Mr. Block I’m a blogger. I do have a reason for doing it, however, I’m pretty sure my self-rationalisation is utter bullshit and the true reason is sabotage.  

My thought is if I can be completely honest with him from the start about my blogging, and he can accept it, I should be able to overlook the age thing. The problem being he won’t be able to accept it, no guy can, so this is just my way of writing him off without having to be the bad guy or looking petty because I can’t get over the fact he’s a crummy 7 days my junior.

Admittedly the age thing isn’t my only problem with Mr. Block so I could justify fleeing the situation, however, I was willing to overlook them and give him a chance before I found out he was a child, so surely if I flee now, there really is no saving face.

I know this whole thing sounds crazy, but deep down aren’t we all a little crazy? I’m just more upfront about my craziness than most. I also know what I’m doing couldn’t possibly end well for me, but I guess if I’m going to go down, I may as well go down in flames.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and watch the world burn, but before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what little thing flips your crazy switch on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Wednesday 10 December 2014

Why Did I Ask?

There are some questions you just shouldn’t ask when you know there’s a possible you won’t like the answer and I made the horrible mistake of asking one of those questions last night… and shock horror I really didn't like the answer.

Age has always been a big hang up for me, it’s been a deal breaker in the past. I just don’t date men who are younger than me. It’s so bad, I've developed this subconscious filter, which tends to weed out younger men before I even know what’s going on. I won’t know why at first, but my brain will throw up a random red flag that will just eat at me. 9 times out of 10 it'll turn out that the flag was because he’s younger than me.

Admittedly Mr. Block has thrown up some red flags, but I assumed that was down mainly to him and the whole blocking fiasco. So when the gay husband bet me a beer that he was younger than me, I didn't think twice about taking that bet. I sent him a message and didn't give it another thought. About 2 hours later, he sent me a message back, I wish I never opened. It turns out the gay husband was right and Mr. Block is indeed younger than me. Be it only by 7 days, but that’s more than enough to awaken the crazy in me.

I know it’s weird, and a little crazy, but it bugs me and it’s left me in a strange place because I really wanted to give him a fair chance despite everything but with this new information I’m not sure I can.

Let me say this again, I know it’s weird, but you wouldn't be here if I was normal now would you?

Anyways, I'm going to go and try and shut up my brain and try and work out what I want, if anything. But before I go I'm going to leave you with this question; does age matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  
xoxoxo

Monday 8 December 2014

All I Want For Christmas Is You

When you’re at work at 1 o’clock in the morning and answer the phone to two blokes singing “all I want for Christmas is you”, I’m pretty sure a normal person’s reaction isn’t to put them on speaker phone, wait for them to finish and then come out with “If you’re trying to woo me, the least you can do is sing in tune.” But I never claimed to be normal. Plus, working in the environment I do, any other response just wouldn’t have been acceptable.

But things like that are why I love working nights, it’s also why I haven’t completely written off Mr. Block yet, if a guy is willing to serenade you down the phone the least you can do is give him a chance. How many guys do you know that would be willing to do that?

I’ve always said the way to my heart is through laughter and he sure as hell made me laugh with that stunt. Actually, him and his minion are always making me laugh; without them I probably would have quit my job a long time ago. I had an interview the other day and part of me hopes I don’t get it because I’d miss them too much. Is that weird?

Anyways, I’m going to go and get some Christmas wrapping done and try and make the most of my time off because if I do get the new job I won’t have as much of it. But before I go I want to leave you with this question; what is the key to winning over your heart? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday 5 December 2014

Bipolar Relationship

So despite my better judgement things with Mr. Block continues; and I can’t decide at this point whether I’m truly interested or if I’m a woman on a mission to find out what he’s hiding. It changes by the minute; half the time I want to cuddle up to him and spend a romantic evening and the other half I want to punch the creep in the face. The whole relationship is kind of bipolar.

I tried to feel him out in the conversation, and I do feel like I know him a little better now but it’s a work in progress. I did learn he’s been single 6 months and he says (like all men do when asked) that he’s after a relationship or to quote him directly “I’m ready to find someone to hold and enjoy life with”.  Call me a sucker, but I melted a little when I read that.

However, I’m not stupid, my guard is still up. I mean the man did block me. And there are other red-ish flags, he invited me over, which sounds sweet, but he knew I’d be working so either the thought was there and it’s sweet or it was just a gesture because he knew I couldn’t. And then when we finished our incredibly sweet conversation he said he’d message me when he was up. He messaged me at midnight; I messaged him back and didn’t hear from him again for 24 hours. So take that as you will, he did message me, he kept his word, but then he vanished leaving me more confused than ever.

I just don’t know what to make of him, and as we all remember from the Mr. X saga I don’t do well when I don’t know. I’m also having to bear in mind I work with this guy so whatever I do I have to do it in an adult way…. I don’t want to be an adult.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off to make some more poor decisions and see where this twisted tale leads me. But before I do I want to leave you with a question; have you ever made a decision you thought was bad that turned out to be good? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Wednesday 3 December 2014

A Victory for Alcohol

So the other night while out celebrating the launch of thehonestbitch.com I kind of did something you’re not meant to do, I drunkenly tweeted Mr. Block. The message simply said “You’re such a dick” but it was enough to get the ball rolling.

However, something very confusing happened during that conversation, he gave me his number. Why would you give your number to someone you blocked? I still don’t understand that move… but sometimes there just is no understanding men.

We managed to talk things out, or at least it appears we did, I was well and truly smashed at the time. He even unblocked me. Which I think counts as a victory for alcohol.

However, that didn’t last long, the tool followed up the next morning by unfriending me. I’m starting to think Mr. X is right and he’s hiding something. What, I don’t know, but something is off.

I sent Mr. Block a friend request because I was curious and yes, I know, curiosity killed the cat and all that, but I’m a blogger and the story wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t (how do you like that excuse?)

The strange thing is he accepted straight away so I’m well and truly confused now. And despite the fact, every fiber of my being is telling me to run, the blogger in me wants to see how the story plays out….. With me in tears I’m sure, but you never know, right?

Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and while you’re there, let me know the last time curiosity burned you. I’m off to get some much needed sleep, so as always my dears, stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Saturday 29 November 2014

Little Things

It’s amazing how the little things can change your whole mood and it’s amazing how this point has been demonstrated to me twice this week with the same issue.

I was venting to my Enigma writing partner (we really need to bring that back) Joel about the whole being lied to thing despite our conversation I just couldn’t shake the rage, I was in an absolutely foul mood.

It was getting late, so before I went to bed, like I do every night, I hopped on the computer to check my blog, and that’s when my bad mood instantly lifted. I spotted that my view were way up. And any blogger will tell you, you just can’t be in a bad mood when your views are up. Plus the more people who are reading my blog, the more people who are finding out he’s a tool so it’s kind of a win, win for me.

Then last night my 2nd Facebook account asked me if I knew the guy that blocked me and it sent me into a rage. Once again. It’s the whole being lied to thing I find infuriating. I was doing so well at acting like I didn’t care, but that pushed me over the edge and psycho bitch came out to play for a while.

Then out of the blue I got an email telling me my .com was available. So despite it being incredibly late, I set it all up. Once it all went live the excitement completely wiped out my angry. I mean thehonestbitch.com is a thing now, how can I be angry?

It’s silly, I know, the dot com doesn’t change anything but it somehow makes me feel more legitimate. I’ve been blogging nearly half my life and I’ve been blogging here for 5 years. And I’ve been given some great opportunities because of it and I’ve been incredibly blessed to have the support of so many wonderful people, but yet that dot com is the thing that has made me feel like a true blogger and not just some fake. Like I said, it’s silly, I know.

Which brings me back nicely to how something so minor can have such a huge impact on your mood. I’ve been in a fantastic mood all day, don’t get me wrong, I’m still irritated, but in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing.

Anyways, my dears, I am off to celebrate thehonestbitch.com being a real thing. If that’s not a good reason to a have drink, I don’t know what is. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; what little thing changes your mood? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo 

Friday 28 November 2014

A Repeat Lesson

I think it’s that time of year again, where we have a conversation we’ve had many times before. Yet it seems to repeatedly fall on deaf ears or blind eyes as the case may be.

The message is a simple one; just because something is written, it does not mean the author still feels the same way.

Emotions are an amazing thing, an ever changing thing and when you write the way I and many other bloggers write, you’re capturing a moment when those emotions existed. The problem being the length of time those moments existed varies wildly.

There have been times I’ve written a blog and by the time I’ve proofread it, I no longer feel the same way. But I still post those blogs. I need to in order for the larger story to make sense in the long run. If you start omitting pieces of the story, it has a way of becoming disingenuous and that’s the last thing I want.

However, because I’m posted things I may have felt only briefly, I get incredibly irritated when people I know start questioning me about things that happened weeks, if not months ago. It’s the reason I don’t give out my URL (yet somehow people still manage to find it). I write what I feel at the time, you can hear it in some of my blog that as I’m writing, I’m working through it so there is no point in questioning me about the top of the blog if by the bottom I’m a sane person again.

People always claim they understand this, but when it comes down it they don’t. I understand it’s just human nature, but just let things play out rather than tamper with it after the fact.

Anyways, my dears, that is my, what feels like, yearly rant on the matter. Let me know in the comment box below if you have the same problem. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Tuesday 25 November 2014

Lied To

I’m currently snuggled up in bed, forcing myself to write in an effort to shake my current mood. I’m not in a bad mood per se, it’s just… off.

This whole thing with the guy from work as thrown me. It’s not him not being interested that has upset me, I couldn’t care less about that. It’s the way he’s handled it that has irritated me.

I sent him a message on Twitter in an effort to get his side of the story. However, his side of the story is an outright lie. He insists he didn’t block me, however the evidence and logic strongly suggest otherwise.

So now I’m left with no answers, more questions and the knowledge I’m being lied to. So needless to say I’m a ray of fucking sunshine right now. And to top things off my hands are tied because at the end of the day I still have to work with this tool.

I’m so pissed off with the whole thing it has me in this mood where I don’t want to write, I don’t want to do anything and it shouldn’t be this way, after all I am on holiday. I should be enjoying myself, not dwelling on some loser who clearly wasn’t man enough to handle me.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and get some sleep and with a little luck things will look better in the morning. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; what do you do when you know you’re being lied to? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Monday 24 November 2014

Blocked

I was snuggled up in bed earlier looking at some pictures of the guy I mentioned in yesterday blog. As I was looking at them, I realised I was being silly, it’s not that he’s unattractive, he’s actually pretty good looking. It’s just that he isn’t what I normally go for. He’s cleaner cut and little younger looking than I normally go for but that’s not a bad thing.

As I was laying there thinking about how cute he actually was, I went to send him a message. That’s when I noticed it…. The fucking moron blocked me.

Now forgetting the fact I didn’t do anything to deserve getting blocked, hell I haven’t even spoken to him in a few days. How stupid do you have to be to block someone, you still have to work with? Cool things off, say you’re no longer interested, fair enough, but to block someone, you still have to have some sort of relationship with is idiotic.

I’ll go into this is more detail later, I just needed to vent. Needless to say I’m not very happy right now, but these things happen. Admittedly, they seem to always happen to me, but I guess if my relationships went well, I’d be out of business so I should in some twisted way, be grateful.

Anyways, before I go I shall leave you with this question; why do we even bother dating? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Sunday 23 November 2014

Looks Or Personality?

I’m going to start this blog with a question; what is more important looks or personality?

I’m currently flirting with the sweetest, most gentlemanly like man I’ve ever stumbled across. He is the prefect boyfriend material; the only problem is, I’m not attracted to him physically.

Now looks have never been the most important thing to me, just take a look at any number of my exes. The way to my heart has always been laughter, but I can’t help but wonder is it fair to accept a date from someone you’re not physically attracted to?

Let me start by saying I’ve not met this guy in person yet so this could all be for nothing, he might not be photogenic, bad angles, I might be in an overly judgmental mood; all I’m saying is I could be completely wrong and when I do meet him I might find him good looking, but as it stands right now…..not so much.

But that leaves me with the question, how important is it that I find him good looking? If he’s sweet and funny and treats me well does it really matter if he’s not eye candy as well? I’m going to leave that with you. Let me know your thoughts and advice in the comment box below and as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Saturday 22 November 2014

Challenged

People have a habit of getting stuck in a box and once in that box they tend to surround themselves with people who also live in that same box. It’s understandable; being surrounded by people with the same point of view, same hobbies, makes life simple.

However, over the years I’ve found it important to have people in my life that challenge me. It’s very easy to get stuck in a mind-set that you’re right and everyone else is crazy; and as much as I hate to say this, that’s not always the case. Sometimes; even the best of us are wrong. Other times we’re right; and it takes being challenged by someone with a different point of view to confirm that.

That’s why I love having Mr. X in my life, we rarely agree on anything; we tend to be polar opposites on most issues, but despite what you may think this doesn’t come between us, we’re actually better friends because of it.

He challenges me to look at things from a different point of view or with other information in mind and I challenge him to do the same and to not be such an asshole while doing so. And over the years I believe we’ve both become better people because it.

He’s much less abrasive then he used to be and I’m much less quick to judge. Thanks to him and people like him I take the time to try and see and understand the other side of augments. I don’t always agree with it, but at least I understand where they’re coming from.

This has helped me a lot over the years at work to try and keep a good attitude even when I want to murder everyone with a 100 mile radius. Or at least it used to before the current manager took over and my ability to play nice was forcefully removed from my beingbut that’s a story for another day.

I just wanted to take a moment to challenge you to look at your thoughts and opinions from the opposite standpoint, you never know you might become a better person because of it.

Anyways, my lovelies, I’m off to enjoy my much needed holiday from work, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; when someone argues with you, what is your first reaction? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Friday 14 November 2014

Fuck It Reboot

I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a place where I even remotely felt ready for a relationship. I know there has been guys in the past few years, but nothing “real” for lack of a better word. They were all doomed from the start due to the fact I wasn’t in a place where I could be in a relationship my focus needed to be elsewhere.

I hate to blame Mr. X because despite everything we’re still friends, I like him and I’ve very grateful for everything that “relationship” taught me, but holy hell, it’s taken a long time to feel strong enough to be able to take a risk again.

 I’ve been dating sure fire failures for years because there is no real heartache involved when you know it’s doomed from the start. Don’t get me wrong, it still sucks, but it’s a quick rebound when you know it’s coming.

Over the past few weeks I seem to have snapped back to my old self. I’m flirting without thought, I’m messaging with a guy, and I’m being playful and not nearly as standoffish as I have been. I’m having fun with being single and I can’t remember the last time I was like this.

It’s almost as if all the drama, stress and pure hell of work over the past few months teamed with that long term underlying fear of getting hurt and has caused my brain to do what I’m going to call a “fuck it reboot”. It’s decided, I can’t control any of this; work, men, life so I may as well just have some fun. I’ll just deal with each battle on a need battle basis and with a little luck, at the end I’ll find out I’ve won the war or wake up with a nasty hangover.

Anyways, I need to go and work on that nasty hangover, however before I do, I shall leave you with a question; have you ever had a fuck it reboot and what caused it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,


The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Saturday 1 November 2014

A Message Not To Wake Up By

My last blog was nice and sweet; this one however is back to business as usual.

My first night off this week, I was woken up by a message from a girl I use to work with, as you can imagine the following conversation both quickly woke me up and enraged me.

Kate - “Did u shag Barney??????????”
Me – “What lol”
Kate – “I heard u shagged Barney in a hotel”
Me - “Who from”
Kate – “Barney said to girls on days an they told me lol”
Me- “Lol that's the sort of message you like to wake up to”
Kate – “Just thought I would ask lol, and CM????”

Let me start by saying I’m not mad at Kate as far as I’m concerned she did the right thing. She did what many wouldn’t do and she asked me, far play to her. Barney on the other hand is a dead man.

We went our separate ways 6 months ago when he proved himself to be part psycho. As far as I’m concerned at this point there is absolutely no reason for my name to be leaving his mouth and the fact that it is, has only proven that I was right to get rid of him in the first place. However, that satisfaction of being right hasn’t eased my anger any.

When you’re a female in a male dominated industry you have to be very careful to protect your reputation and given the fact truck drivers gossip more than teenage girls, crap like this could affect my ability to get work in the future. Nobody cares that I didn’t get involved with him until long after he left the company, or that it wasn’t a one night stand type thing; all they hear is she slept with one of her drivers.

And what pissed me off even more is the bastard won’t reply to me. I sent him a message asking why I was being asked if I slept with him and he hasn’t even had the balls to reply to me.

This gossip is going through my old place like a wild fire and minus being pissed off I find it kind of funny, I mean I left over a year ago, if I’m all they have to gossip about, I feel like kind of sorry for them. Plus, I must have left an impression on them, if they remember who I am after all this time. I almost feel bad the story isn’t a little juicier for them.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off to plot a murder, but before I do, I guess I should leave you with a question or maybe two. Question 1: How do you deal with being gossiped about? And question 2: What makes someone gossip about an ex 6 months on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Friday 31 October 2014

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past week and even more crying and I’ve come to the conclusion I
need to refocus my effort on my blogging. I was in a very fortunate place that when I lost my job, my blogging was able to keep me afloat and since re-entering  the work force I seem to have let slip this community that always had my back and for that I’m sorry.

Canadian Thanksgiving hasn’t long past and this year more than most; I need to take a step backwards and just be grateful for what I have. Yes, there are a lot of things going on in my life I am deeply unhappy about, but I need to try and remember there are also many things in my life I wouldn’t change for the world.

The numbers may lean more one way or the other, but that’s life and those sort of things shape us into the people we are and give us the strength to be the people we’re going to be.

Sometime in life we get so swept up in the things we wish we could change that we forget to enjoy the things in life we wish will never change.

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone or happy early thanksgiving to my American friends.
Love Always,

The Honest Bitch 
xo

Wednesday 15 October 2014

Sometimes I Have No Answers

I got asked a very interesting question by a reader the other day and it’s not often I’m left with no response but this one left me stumped.

She commented that it always seems to be the same sort of guy that complains about being “friend zoned”, the sort of guy you laugh with and have a joke with but doesn’t flirt. Whether it’s real flirting or playful joking flirting, you just get none of that from them. So how on earth are you meant to know if they’re interested?

I’ve been in this girls shoes, where years later I’ve found out I’ve missed out on a great guy because I could have sworn he wasn’t interested. Even replaying it back now there is no possible way I could have known he was interesting and since, despite contrary belief, women aren’t mind readers; how are we meant to know?

My first port of call was to Google it, but I’m pretty sure it’s answer was I’m about to die so I quickly gave up on that one.

Then I thought I’d ask a guy who like the one in the question doesn’t flirt in any shape or form however he failed to respond.

So that leaves me with plan C, to ask you lovely people to answer her question for her since I’ve failed miserably to do so. So how do you know when a non-flirty guy likes you? Let me know in the comment box below and if you have any questions you’d like to see me struggle with, leave them below as well. As always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Wednesday 8 October 2014

Work Anxiety

I don’t normally write on work days but my anxiety is high and I can’t sleep so I thought I’d channel that into something creative rather than staring at the ceiling for another 2 hours.

I finished my application form and have it in my work bag ready to hand in. I’m still really unsure if it’s the right move, but like I’ve said before, it’s the hand I’ve been dealt. I’m not sure what I’m so worried about if I don’t get the job, nothing changes… actually maybe that’s the problem. I need a change and if I don’t get it, I’m back to square one.

The other thing playing on my mind is I always said if I got promoted I wanted to earn it, unlike some others who were handed their jobs because there was nobody else. Yes, I’m applying for it so at least in theory I’ve beaten outside candidate, but in actual fact, I know the job hasn’t been advertised so… that theory is a little flawed.

My poor head is all over the place and I’d dreading going into work tonight, I just need a simple, straight forward week and I know that’s not about to happen. You know how I know that; remember the guy whose girlfriend/ baby mama’s twin sister messaged me because I didn’t know they existed and somehow that’s my fault. No, you don’t remember, I’m not surprised, it happened years ago, like 2010 years ago, but he messaged me last night….. That can’t be a good sign.

Why can’t past crazy just stay in the past, if I wanted present crazy, I’d just date someone, I don’t need to watch the repeats. Anyways, on that note I shall go get ready for work, but before I do I have to ask, when was the last time your crazy past made an appearance? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Tuesday 7 October 2014

Decisions

Anybody who knows me knows I haven’t been happy lately, my job has become an evil, happiness consuming monster turning me into someone I hardly recognize. Something has to change and I’m not 100% which way I need to go to fix the problem.

Part of me thinks it’s time for a new job, I should just cut my losses and move on. The other part of me is thinking it’s reached the point where I need to make the jump upwards. I’m not being challenged anymore and because of that my job is becoming more soul sucking than it would otherwise be.

So I’ve quietly made the decision to apply for the shift manage the position. I’m not 100% ready to make that jump, but it’s reached the point where it’s better the devil I know and if anything is going to change I going to have to make it change myself.

I just hope I’m making the right decision, I wish the supervisor or even Hank hung around a little longer to help get me to that level but I just have to play the hand I was dealt.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off but before I do, I shall leave you with this question when you’re unhappy at work, what do you do to change it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxoxo