New Year's Resolutions

It would appear January and I don’t get along very well, last year I didn’t manage a single post in January and this year we’re well into week 2 and this is my first post. I’ve already managed to fail 2 or my 3 New Year’s resolutions so 2015 is off to a fantastic start.

The first resolution I managed to fail at 10 seconds into the New Year. It was be less quick to anger, however, when the fireworks at midnight, woke up this sleeping bitch that went straight out the window.

The second one was to post my Facebook question of the day, every day; luckily Facebook has made it possible to cheat the resolution back insistence, so be sure to check out my Facebook page (like my shameless plug?)

My third and final one is to post a minimum of 8 blog posts a month. With a little work on my part that one is still possible, however, my week and a half off is going to make it a little tricky.

I don’t know what it is about this time of the year, but it seems to be out to get me. I’ll explain what happened this year at a later date, but let’s just say work was bad enough I was drunk for 4 days straight.

Anyways, my dears, I off to get some much needed sleep… I think I’m still hungover, and before you ask, yes, it was that bad. But before I go, I want to leave you with this question, what are your New Year’s resolutions and how are you getting on with them? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Honest Reaction

I wasn’t going to post a blog today because in the wee hours of the morning my beloved Toronto Leafs clinched a playoff spot for the first time in 9 years. As far as I’m concerned today is a holiday......and possibly a sign of the apocalypse.

But then Mr. X announced over Facebook he’s engaged! In my opinion that calls for a blog.....and tequila not necessarily in that order. Hell I promise not in the order J

My initial reaction was lovely, I said to my friend “I wish them the best; I hope they’re blissfully married for 40 years” it didn’t stay lovely though, I followed that up with “then she runs off with the pool boy, breaking his fucking heart into millions of tiny pieces.” To quote myself exactly I followed that with “cheers”.

I never claimed to be nice, I’m making that clear but I’m honest. And my honest feeling is I hope she emotionally fucks him, the way he fucked me.

I know you’re not meant to say that out loud, I’m sorry but that’s how I feel. I don’t wish him any actual harm, mainly because that shit heals. I want something emotional that way every time he thinks he’s fine, some fucker can pull that scab off and bring it all back up to the surface again.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have some drinking to do, like I said my team made the playoffs and Mr. X is engaged, I’m pretty sure the apocalypse is coming. 

Relationship Zombies

I use to call the men from my past that periodically pop up without notice “ghosts of relationships past”, but after some thinking and some drinking I decided the proper term for these men are “relationship zombies”. Let me explain.

First of all I really like the mental image of instead of batting these men away like human whack-a-moles I get to blow their zombie heads off with a .44. (Like I said I was drinking when I came up with this theory.)

Second, it would explain why these men pop up in the first place. I go out of my way to burn bridges and hurt feelings when I break up with someone, it’s kind of my insurance policy against them popping up in the future. But it never seems to work. Why you ask? Because they’re zombies and everyone knows zombies don’t have feelings.

Everyone always warns you to be careful who you date and I always thought that was because you might find yourself dating a rapist or a murderer but no, I was wrong. They tell you to be careful because those failed relationship turn into flesh eating (or at least flesh sucking) zombies that can pop up at any time without notice.

Where the hell was that PSA growing up? “Kids make good choices or zombies are going to stalk you for the rest of your life.” Would have been useful to know!

Or at least would have given me a chance to stalk up on zombie survival gear. TV fails me again.

Anyways how would you characterize your past relationships? And what do you think I was drinking when I came up with this one? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay away from zombies.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo