A Problem Only I Could Have

Recently I met our trainer for dialysis, the person who will be coming to our house each day for 3 weeks to train both my stepdad and I on how to run the lines and things like that. Slight issue… I know him.

The real issue…. I dated him… can’t remember if I slept with him, but, it's a possibility. But yeah, I  definitely dated him and I’m pretty sure I did a disappearing act on him. From what I remember he was really clingy, and I found it super off putting, as you would, so.... I stopped replying to him.... with no explanation.

I was kind of hoping he didn’t remember me, but the fact he wished me happy birthday on Facebook leads me to believe otherwise. I swear if the ghosts weren’t bad enough, now I have a zombie on my hands. I can’t catch a break. Although, even I’ll admit this kind of funny. In a if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry kind of way.

Wish me luck, I may need it. I’d leave you with a question of the blog, but the only one I can think of is; Does anyone know any good hiding spots? Stay safe my dears… and be careful whom you date.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Poorly Week with A Little Smile

I guess you’re probably wondering where on earth I’ve been this past week. Well thanks to my doctor and his infinite wisdom I’ve not been very well. He decided to mess around with my pills and put me on something called Gabapentin.

Gabapentin sucks!! I’m not sure what it’s meant to do but all it’s done for me is make me feel like a zombie and cause me to throw up. Just what everyone wants for their pills. All the side effects with none of the results.

Luckily I’m starting to feel less like a zombified throw-up queen and more like a human. That may have a little something to do with me not listening to my doctor. He told me to stick it out a little longer.....I decided to go a different way, a way that involves much less vomit.

Besides explaining where I’ve been this past week, what I want to do with this blog is give a little shout out to Steve Dangle. Since I’m pretty sure none of you know who he is since his target audience is sports crazed men and mine is women who are fed of men, let me tell you.

He is a YouTuber, he also works for CBC and there is some weird zoo connection too which I’m not really sure I want to know about.

The reason I want to give him a shout out is because one morning while I was enjoying the side effects (aka throwing my guts up). I heard the mailman put something through the door. When I looked I spotted an envelope with Canadian stamps on it. When I opened it I found a Shea Weber card and a short note from Steve Dangle. And despite the rocky start to my day, I couldn’t help but smile. And I just wanted to thanks him for that. (See I’m not always a bitch, just most of the time).

The reason he sent the card is kind of awesome. He decided he wanted to show his appreciation to his viewers and to do so he decided to send out some common hockey cards. Which if you ask me, is a lovely gesture; one that I’m sure is costing him a pretty penny in postage.

It’s rare to see someone gain success and still care about their original audience. And for that I have to show him some love. Plus anyone who can make a throwy-upy zombie smiles deserves that much.

Anyone else thinking a week of being sick has made me soft?

Anyways I’m going to leave you with a question that has nothing at all to do with this post because...I can.

Someone left me a comment on one of blogs saying you should wait at least a year before sleeping with someone. What do you guys think about that and how long do you think you should wait before sleeping with someone? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Relationship Zombies

I use to call the men from my past that periodically pop up without notice “ghosts of relationships past”, but after some thinking and some drinking I decided the proper term for these men are “relationship zombies”. Let me explain.

First of all I really like the mental image of instead of batting these men away like human whack-a-moles I get to blow their zombie heads off with a .44. (Like I said I was drinking when I came up with this theory.)

Second, it would explain why these men pop up in the first place. I go out of my way to burn bridges and hurt feelings when I break up with someone, it’s kind of my insurance policy against them popping up in the future. But it never seems to work. Why you ask? Because they’re zombies and everyone knows zombies don’t have feelings.

Everyone always warns you to be careful who you date and I always thought that was because you might find yourself dating a rapist or a murderer but no, I was wrong. They tell you to be careful because those failed relationship turn into flesh eating (or at least flesh sucking) zombies that can pop up at any time without notice.

Where the hell was that PSA growing up? “Kids make good choices or zombies are going to stalk you for the rest of your life.” Would have been useful to know!

Or at least would have given me a chance to stalk up on zombie survival gear. TV fails me again.

Anyways how would you characterize your past relationships? And what do you think I was drinking when I came up with this one? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay away from zombies.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo