Saturday 29 November 2014

Little Things

It’s amazing how the little things can change your whole mood and it’s amazing how this point has been demonstrated to me twice this week with the same issue.

I was venting to my Enigma writing partner (we really need to bring that back) Joel about the whole being lied to thing despite our conversation I just couldn’t shake the rage, I was in an absolutely foul mood.

It was getting late, so before I went to bed, like I do every night, I hopped on the computer to check my blog, and that’s when my bad mood instantly lifted. I spotted that my view were way up. And any blogger will tell you, you just can’t be in a bad mood when your views are up. Plus the more people who are reading my blog, the more people who are finding out he’s a tool so it’s kind of a win, win for me.

Then last night my 2nd Facebook account asked me if I knew the guy that blocked me and it sent me into a rage. Once again. It’s the whole being lied to thing I find infuriating. I was doing so well at acting like I didn’t care, but that pushed me over the edge and psycho bitch came out to play for a while.

Then out of the blue I got an email telling me my .com was available. So despite it being incredibly late, I set it all up. Once it all went live the excitement completely wiped out my angry. I mean is a thing now, how can I be angry?

It’s silly, I know, the dot com doesn’t change anything but it somehow makes me feel more legitimate. I’ve been blogging nearly half my life and I’ve been blogging here for 5 years. And I’ve been given some great opportunities because of it and I’ve been incredibly blessed to have the support of so many wonderful people, but yet that dot com is the thing that has made me feel like a true blogger and not just some fake. Like I said, it’s silly, I know.

Which brings me back nicely to how something so minor can have such a huge impact on your mood. I’ve been in a fantastic mood all day, don’t get me wrong, I’m still irritated, but in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing.

Anyways, my dears, I am off to celebrate being a real thing. If that’s not a good reason to a have drink, I don’t know what is. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; what little thing changes your mood? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 28 November 2014

A Repeat Lesson

I think it’s that time of year again, where we have a conversation we’ve had many times before. Yet it seems to repeatedly fall on deaf ears or blind eyes as the case may be.

The message is a simple one; just because something is written, it does not mean the author still feels the same way.

Emotions are an amazing thing, an ever changing thing and when you write the way I and many other bloggers write, you’re capturing a moment when those emotions existed. The problem being the length of time those moments existed varies wildly.

There have been times I’ve written a blog and by the time I’ve proofread it, I no longer feel the same way. But I still post those blogs. I need to in order for the larger story to make sense in the long run. If you start omitting pieces of the story, it has a way of becoming disingenuous and that’s the last thing I want.

However, because I’m posted things I may have felt only briefly, I get incredibly irritated when people I know start questioning me about things that happened weeks, if not months ago. It’s the reason I don’t give out my URL (yet somehow people still manage to find it). I write what I feel at the time, you can hear it in some of my blog that as I’m writing, I’m working through it so there is no point in questioning me about the top of the blog if by the bottom I’m a sane person again.

People always claim they understand this, but when it comes down it they don’t. I understand it’s just human nature, but just let things play out rather than tamper with it after the fact.

Anyways, my dears, that is my, what feels like, yearly rant on the matter. Let me know in the comment box below if you have the same problem. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Tuesday 25 November 2014

Lied To

I’m currently snuggled up in bed, forcing myself to write in an effort to shake my current mood. I’m not in a bad mood per se, it’s just… off.

This whole thing with the guy from work as thrown me. It’s not him not being interested that has upset me, I couldn’t care less about that. It’s the way he’s handled it that has irritated me.

I sent him a message on Twitter in an effort to get his side of the story. However, his side of the story is an outright lie. He insists he didn’t block me, however the evidence and logic strongly suggest otherwise.

So now I’m left with no answers, more questions and the knowledge I’m being lied to. So needless to say I’m a ray of fucking sunshine right now. And to top things off my hands are tied because at the end of the day I still have to work with this tool.

I’m so pissed off with the whole thing it has me in this mood where I don’t want to write, I don’t want to do anything and it shouldn’t be this way, after all I am on holiday. I should be enjoying myself, not dwelling on some loser who clearly wasn’t man enough to handle me.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and get some sleep and with a little luck things will look better in the morning. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; what do you do when you know you’re being lied to? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Monday 24 November 2014


I was snuggled up in bed earlier looking at some pictures of the guy I mentioned in yesterday blog. As I was looking at them, I realised I was being silly, it’s not that he’s unattractive, he’s actually pretty good looking. It’s just that he isn’t what I normally go for. He’s cleaner cut and little younger looking than I normally go for but that’s not a bad thing.

As I was laying there thinking about how cute he actually was, I went to send him a message. That’s when I noticed it…. The fucking moron blocked me.

Now forgetting the fact I didn’t do anything to deserve getting blocked, hell I haven’t even spoken to him in a few days. How stupid do you have to be to block someone, you still have to work with? Cool things off, say you’re no longer interested, fair enough, but to block someone, you still have to have some sort of relationship with is idiotic.

I’ll go into this is more detail later, I just needed to vent. Needless to say I’m not very happy right now, but these things happen. Admittedly, they seem to always happen to me, but I guess if my relationships went well, I’d be out of business so I should in some twisted way, be grateful.

Anyways, before I go I shall leave you with this question; why do we even bother dating? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Sunday 23 November 2014

Looks Or Personality?

I’m going to start this blog with a question; what is more important looks or personality?

I’m currently flirting with the sweetest, most gentlemanly like man I’ve ever stumbled across. He is the prefect boyfriend material; the only problem is, I’m not attracted to him physically.

Now looks have never been the most important thing to me, just take a look at any number of my exes. The way to my heart has always been laughter, but I can’t help but wonder is it fair to accept a date from someone you’re not physically attracted to?

Let me start by saying I’ve not met this guy in person yet so this could all be for nothing, he might not be photogenic, bad angles, I might be in an overly judgmental mood; all I’m saying is I could be completely wrong and when I do meet him I might find him good looking, but as it stands right now…..not so much.

But that leaves me with the question, how important is it that I find him good looking? If he’s sweet and funny and treats me well does it really matter if he’s not eye candy as well? I’m going to leave that with you. Let me know your thoughts and advice in the comment box below and as always my dears, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Saturday 22 November 2014


People have a habit of getting stuck in a box and once in that box they tend to surround themselves with people who also live in that same box. It’s understandable; being surrounded by people with the same point of view, same hobbies, makes life simple.

However, over the years I’ve found it important to have people in my life that challenge me. It’s very easy to get stuck in a mind-set that you’re right and everyone else is crazy; and as much as I hate to say this, that’s not always the case. Sometimes; even the best of us are wrong. Other times we’re right; and it takes being challenged by someone with a different point of view to confirm that.

That’s why I love having Mr. X in my life, we rarely agree on anything; we tend to be polar opposites on most issues, but despite what you may think this doesn’t come between us, we’re actually better friends because of it.

He challenges me to look at things from a different point of view or with other information in mind and I challenge him to do the same and to not be such an asshole while doing so. And over the years I believe we’ve both become better people because it.

He’s much less abrasive then he used to be and I’m much less quick to judge. Thanks to him and people like him I take the time to try and see and understand the other side of augments. I don’t always agree with it, but at least I understand where they’re coming from.

This has helped me a lot over the years at work to try and keep a good attitude even when I want to murder everyone with a 100 mile radius. Or at least it used to before the current manager took over and my ability to play nice was forcefully removed from my beingbut that’s a story for another day.

I just wanted to take a moment to challenge you to look at your thoughts and opinions from the opposite standpoint, you never know you might become a better person because of it.

Anyways, my lovelies, I’m off to enjoy my much needed holiday from work, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; when someone argues with you, what is your first reaction? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch

Friday 14 November 2014

Fuck It Reboot

I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a place where I even remotely felt ready for a relationship. I know there has been guys in the past few years, but nothing “real” for lack of a better word. They were all doomed from the start due to the fact I wasn’t in a place where I could be in a relationship my focus needed to be elsewhere.

I hate to blame Mr. X because despite everything we’re still friends, I like him and I’ve very grateful for everything that “relationship” taught me, but holy hell, it’s taken a long time to feel strong enough to be able to take a risk again.

 I’ve been dating sure fire failures for years because there is no real heartache involved when you know it’s doomed from the start. Don’t get me wrong, it still sucks, but it’s a quick rebound when you know it’s coming.

Over the past few weeks I seem to have snapped back to my old self. I’m flirting without thought, I’m messaging with a guy, and I’m being playful and not nearly as standoffish as I have been. I’m having fun with being single and I can’t remember the last time I was like this.

It’s almost as if all the drama, stress and pure hell of work over the past few months teamed with that long term underlying fear of getting hurt and has caused my brain to do what I’m going to call a “fuck it reboot”. It’s decided, I can’t control any of this; work, men, life so I may as well just have some fun. I’ll just deal with each battle on a need battle basis and with a little luck, at the end I’ll find out I’ve won the war or wake up with a nasty hangover.

Anyways, I need to go and work on that nasty hangover, however before I do, I shall leave you with a question; have you ever had a fuck it reboot and what caused it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

Saturday 1 November 2014

A Message Not To Wake Up By

My last blog was nice and sweet; this one however is back to business as usual.

My first night off this week, I was woken up by a message from a girl I use to work with, as you can imagine the following conversation both quickly woke me up and enraged me.

Kate - “Did u shag Barney??????????”
Me – “What lol”
Kate – “I heard u shagged Barney in a hotel”
Me - “Who from”
Kate – “Barney said to girls on days an they told me lol”
Me- “Lol that's the sort of message you like to wake up to”
Kate – “Just thought I would ask lol, and CM????”

Let me start by saying I’m not mad at Kate as far as I’m concerned she did the right thing. She did what many wouldn’t do and she asked me, far play to her. Barney on the other hand is a dead man.

We went our separate ways 6 months ago when he proved himself to be part psycho. As far as I’m concerned at this point there is absolutely no reason for my name to be leaving his mouth and the fact that it is, has only proven that I was right to get rid of him in the first place. However, that satisfaction of being right hasn’t eased my anger any.

When you’re a female in a male dominated industry you have to be very careful to protect your reputation and given the fact truck drivers gossip more than teenage girls, crap like this could affect my ability to get work in the future. Nobody cares that I didn’t get involved with him until long after he left the company, or that it wasn’t a one night stand type thing; all they hear is she slept with one of her drivers.

And what pissed me off even more is the bastard won’t reply to me. I sent him a message asking why I was being asked if I slept with him and he hasn’t even had the balls to reply to me.

This gossip is going through my old place like a wild fire and minus being pissed off I find it kind of funny, I mean I left over a year ago, if I’m all they have to gossip about, I feel like kind of sorry for them. Plus, I must have left an impression on them, if they remember who I am after all this time. I almost feel bad the story isn’t a little juicier for them.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off to plot a murder, but before I do, I guess I should leave you with a question or maybe two. Question 1: How do you deal with being gossiped about? And question 2: What makes someone gossip about an ex 6 months on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch