I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a place where I even remotely felt ready for a relationship. I know there has been guys in the past few years, but nothing “real” for lack of a better word. They were all doomed from the start due to the fact I wasn’t in a place where I could be in a relationship my focus needed to be elsewhere.
I hate to blame Mr. X because despite everything we’re still friends, I like him and I’ve very grateful for everything that “relationship” taught me, but holy hell, it’s taken a long time to feel strong enough to be able to take a risk again.
I’ve been dating sure fire failures for years because there is no real heartache involved when you know it’s doomed from the start. Don’t get me wrong, it still sucks, but it’s a quick rebound when you know it’s coming.
Over the past few weeks I seem to have snapped back to my old self. I’m flirting without thought, I’m messaging with a guy, and I’m being playful and not nearly as standoffish as I have been. I’m having fun with being single and I can’t remember the last time I was like this.
It’s almost as if all the drama, stress and pure hell of work over the past few months teamed with that long term underlying fear of getting hurt and has caused my brain to do what I’m going to call a “fuck it reboot”. It’s decided, I can’t control any of this; work, men, life so I may as well just have some fun. I’ll just deal with each battle on a need battle basis and with a little luck, at the end I’ll find out I’ve won the war or wake up with a nasty hangover.
Anyways, I need to go and work on that nasty hangover, however before I do, I shall leave you with a question; have you ever had a fuck it reboot and what caused it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.
The Honest Bitch