The Obligatory Tyler Update

I’ve been out of the blogosphere for roughly 3 months, so I know you guys would like a Tyler update, since it was my most popular request before I vanished.

Not a whole lot to catch you up on really. He is still a sweetie and the best work husband a girl could ask for. He is still one of the only reason I make it through some shifts without completely snapping. Definitely still the only voice of reason I listen to… most of the time.

However, that’s it. He is not interested. And I hate to put this out there, but I’ve been questioning for a while whether he may be asexual. Please, don’t for a second think this is an ego thing. It’s not his lack of interest in me that is making me question, it’s his lack of interest in anyone. When we talk, he often mentions not getting married or having a family or any relationship at all. He says he fine dying alone. He never comments that a girl is pretty or hot, or guys for that matter. When you ask him about celebrity crushes, he changes the subject. I don’t really know the story, but it makes me wonder.

Anyways, now that I have broken your hearts, I am off, to hopefully write 2 more blog posts because I have a lot to say, this 3 months off has made me chatty. As always you lovely people, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

Xoxo 

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Happy Valentine’s Days

Happy Valentine’s Days you beautiful people. I hope you’re all have a fabulous day and none of you are letting the BS of the day get you down. Just remember today is about love, not relationships, so show yourself a little self-love. Do something you enjoy, spend some time just focusing on you. 

Relationships are all well and good, but the only one that truly matters is the relationship you have with yourself.

As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Dating Rant

Another Thursday, another afternoon spent writing a post I should have written earlier in the week. Like I said, one of these days I will get all my shit together, but right now I’ll have to settle for having bits and pieces of my shit together.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about dating recently. And by a lot, I mean, it’s starting to verge on obvious. So, I thought I’s take this chance to answer your burning questions, and by questions burning questions, I mean, pushy opinions because, there’s no questions, just a lot of people telling whom I should date and or whose penis I should ride.

Tyler isn’t happening. He’s not into me. We are good friends, and I love having him around, but nope. As perfect as I believe having a boyfriend who is 300 miles away is, still nope. That might be a post for another day. For now, the answer is just no.

 Team Mr. X…. Do you hate me? Why are you still a thing? I did my time, it cost me my youth, I may well die alone because of that whole mess. Give it up. Like really, no. That damage was done, repaired, taught me a lot, and gave me strength I never knew I had, but no.

Will I date again? I assume so. I’m not against it. I just need to find a human I don’t hate and that is hard. People as a whole suck.

Anyways, I am going to go and chill out. I would leave a question of the blog, but I have had enough opinions for right now. So just stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Tyler Proves Me Wrong

I made the comment a few weeks ago that Tyler doesn’t flirt. To quote myself, what I actually said was, “Tyler doesn’t flirt, not a at all, not one teeny tiny bit.”. And it appears I have to admit I was wrong. It’s almost as if he read my blog and made a point of proving me wrong. However, he didn’t and even if he had the post in question wasn’t up yet so... witchcraft. That’s clearly how he did it.

It’s strange because I said previously, I didn’t know how to handle him because he didn’t flirt and shockingly him flirting threw me off way more. It was so out of the blue it took me back. I was equally shocked, that he actually could flirt, and proud because the line was good. I wanted to give him a gold star.

I can’t for the life of me remember what he said, but ever since then he’s been flirtier. Not my level flirty, but a vast improvement from what he was doing before and let’s be honest. Not many people are my level of flirty.

Don’t get any ideas in your pretty heads though, the gay husband is not now, nor has he ever been right. Yeah, I knew where your minds were headed. Let’s stop those thoughts right there. Ok?

Anyways, I am off to enjoy what I have remaining of my days off, but before I go, I will leave you with this question; are you a nature flirt? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

What happened to Steve?

A few have you have been asking what has happened to Steve and since I have no decent blog ideas at the minute, I thought I’d fill you guys in.

The answer is nothing, nothing has happened to Steve. He is still around and is still a great guy I enjoy talking to. However, he had a child and we all know guys with kids aren’t a thing I do. I thought it would be different given they none relationship thing, but no, it’s still a killer.

It’s weird because my main reason for not getting involved with guys with kids has always been, I don’t want to play second fiddle and once a child is in the mix that’s how it is. Which is fine if you’re in a relationship and a kid comes along. You’ve been fist fiddle and had that time, but to never get it… no I couldn’t do it. However, none of that was relevant with Steve, there was no fiddle, just sex.

I don’t know what to tell you, I kid that being turned off by men with kids is my body’s way of not getting pregnant, and I’m starting to believe it. There is just something about them that isn’t for me.

Anyways, I am off to hopefully come up with a blog idea, so I can get another one done and have next week off. But before I go, I have this question for you; would you date someone with kids? Let me know in the comment below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Looks Don’t Matter

I made a comment a few posts back about looks not being a deal breaker and this raised a few questions and bought on quite the debate, so I thought I’d elaborate on my stance a bit.

Now, don’t get me wrong physical attraction is a plus and if it’s there awesome, but it’s not the be all and end all. For me at least, being attracted to someone’s personality is way more important. Sex with pretty people who you want to stab when they open their mouths isn’t sustainable. Personalities on the other hand tend to last. And, in most relationships anyways, you tend to spend more time clothed than naked, so there needs to be more than looks build a happy healthy relationship.

There are actually scientific studies that back up my stance, apparently “traditional attraction” wears off after 18-24 months. And apparently, that’s the point where a lot of issues tend to surface. When that “honeymoon” or “lust” phase wears off relationships fizzle out if there isn’t something else to draw them together.

I, on occasion, have chosen to skip that lust phase. I’ve dated guys whose personalities I enjoyed, but who may not have been my idea of sexually stunning. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t monsters, but I also didn’t look at them and want them naked either. That said, just because they didn’t make me drool doesn’t mean they couldn’t make me scream. Just because I wasn’t into them looks wise doesn’t mean the sex was bad. Actually, from my experience, what they say is true, good looking men tend to not be great in bed because they don’t have to be. While less stunning men, well, they develop skills to compensate.

Anyways, that’s my two cents on the matter. I’m going to go and enjoy what remains of the last day of my holiday. I shall leave you with the question though; Do looks matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Blast from The Past

It’s not often I received a friend request that actually makes me smile, normally there from what I call “green card man, I’m sure you know that type, creepy man from a dodgy part of the globe, whose request you instant decline.  However, last week was different, I received a request from someone who instantly put a smile on my face, a complete blast from the past.

When I worked for my previous company, before we moved locations, there was this lad in the warehouse, I’m going to call him Martin. He was one of the day shift supervisors, he was well put together, funny, knew shit, the only downfall he had was he was a little younger than me. That said, even back then I was willing to overlook that, which is completely unheard of, we all know I don’t do younger men.

Our paths didn’t cross too often, since I worked nights and he did days, but when they did, we’d always chat and joke around and flirt a little. But nothing ever came of it. When it came to light the site was closing, he joined the army and I stayed with the company. And with that we lost contact.

Then last week his name popped up in my friend requests, I knew who was it was straight away and I couldn’t help but smile. That said, I didn’t read a lot into it, ex co-workers add each other all the time. We had something like 12 friends in common, so odds are I just popped up as a suggestion. I accepted his request and started getting ready for work.

Less than 5 minutes later he popped up in my chat. It was pretty standard at first, I was a little shocked he remembered so much about me, it has been nearly 5 years. We continued messaging while I was at work that night, and then the message got a little flirty and started ending with “xx”. I don’t read a lot into that, but it’s a positive sign.

We continued to message for a few days, getting more and more flirty but nothing even PG-13. Just feeling each other out and trying to figure out each other intent. I’d say, neither of us have completely worked each other out yet. I’m not sure if he’s after a hook up or more. He’s in the army so I always put my money on just sex, but that wasn't his style when I worked with him. My other concern is he’s a little out of my league, words I never thought I’d have to say.  That said, I’m going to play the game and see where it goes. I mean Mr. X got me and I’m way the hell out of his league.

I haven’t been able to speak to Martin in a few days, he’s away on exercise, but once he’s back Friday I’m looking forward to seeing what’s there. And as I always say, if nothing else, I should get a few good blogs out of it.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, it’s been a long few days. But before I go I have this question for you, have you ever dated anyone out of your league and how did it end? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

The Larry Theory

The week of daily blogs continues, well, we’ll see if this lasts a week but that is the aim. Last night at work wasn’t too bad, I’m pretty over it and have normalized again… my body language is still a wee bit off, but its minor shit like my toes are pointed the wrong way… and to be fair, I wear steals so nobody but me would know that.

I wanted to talk about the theory one of my long time reads had on why I didn’t click that I might have feelings for Larry.

She’s sent me a message saying give my long history of falling into relationships, and being the last to know when I’m in one, she's not surprised the feelings didn’t register because that wasn’t my focus. I was focused more on the character, humor and personality traits. All the other stuff was secondary and not relevant until Miss Pippi whore stockings showed up.

I kind of think that theory proves once and for all you’ll a lot smarter than I am. I thought a lot about this yesterday before I went to bed and looking back on my dating history; she’s not wrong. We all know I am the last to know when I’m in a relationship; I tend to read it on Facebook or back in the day Myspace. A lot of my exes have been friends that have turned into more. I sure as hell wasn’t looking to bang them from the offset. But for the most part they were solid relationships while they lasted, largely because we had that solid friendship ground work.

The theory seems highly plausible to me, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m sure you will let me know. I think I’ll make that your question of the blog; is friendship, then a relationship a good thing or a bad thing? Let me know what you think in the comment box below. And as always stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

New Job, New Boys

I’ve been at the new job 2 months now and for the record, despite some of my old co-workers fears I really am enjoying it. I’m starting to find my feet and almost know what I’m talking about, it’s seems to be going well.

The other perk or the new job is a lot of new men, which sounds better than the reality of it. Most of them are too young, or too old, or too married or too gross. Despite being surround by men all night it really is slim pickings.

That said; slim pickings doesn’t mean no picking and I’m me so, yeah, I’ve managed to find two to make my life needlessly more complicated than it has to be.

Guy number 1, who I am yet to come up with an appropriate blog name for, pursued from the end of my first week. He messaged me, and we got chatting which all seemed harmless enough (isn’t that always the case?) Then he started talking about his penis and the harmlessness became a distant memory.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice enough guy, but he is a walking, talking red flag and I’m not interested in risking my reputation for what would be just a hook up or at most a fuck friend situation. He has way too many issues going on to be what I’m looking for right now.

Then we have guy number 2 who I’m going to call Larry for blogging sake. Larry is an interesting story, I didn’t know Larry was even a thing until the other day. I’m still not sure he’s a thing, that’s going to take some writing and probably some drinking to figure that out. And since it’s currently 8am we’ll address that issue in another blog.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t take this job to troll for men and I tend not to get mixed up with the guys I work with anyways. But the harmless flirting has always been a plus. It makes the night less dull and it distracts when things are going horribly wrong. This job is kind of missing that. At least right now, its early days I guess.

Anyways, you pretty people, I am going to go and get ready for my lunch date with the gay husband and then probably write that Larry blog since I suspect drinks will happen at lunch. But before I go, I must leave you with a question; do you always know you have feelings for someone straight away? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Bipolar Relationship

So despite my better judgement things with Mr. Block continues; and I can’t decide at this point whether I’m truly interested or if I’m a woman on a mission to find out what he’s hiding. It changes by the minute; half the time I want to cuddle up to him and spend a romantic evening and the other half I want to punch the creep in the face. The whole relationship is kind of bipolar.

I tried to feel him out in the conversation, and I do feel like I know him a little better now but it’s a work in progress. I did learn he’s been single 6 months and he says (like all men do when asked) that he’s after a relationship or to quote him directly “I’m ready to find someone to hold and enjoy life with”.  Call me a sucker, but I melted a little when I read that.

However, I’m not stupid, my guard is still up. I mean the man did block me. And there are other red-ish flags, he invited me over, which sounds sweet, but he knew I’d be working so either the thought was there and it’s sweet or it was just a gesture because he knew I couldn’t. And then when we finished our incredibly sweet conversation he said he’d message me when he was up. He messaged me at midnight; I messaged him back and didn’t hear from him again for 24 hours. So take that as you will, he did message me, he kept his word, but then he vanished leaving me more confused than ever.

I just don’t know what to make of him, and as we all remember from the Mr. X saga I don’t do well when I don’t know. I’m also having to bear in mind I work with this guy so whatever I do I have to do it in an adult way…. I don’t want to be an adult.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off to make some more poor decisions and see where this twisted tale leads me. But before I do I want to leave you with a question; have you ever made a decision you thought was bad that turned out to be good? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

The Supervisor

Some of you have asked about my relationship with the Supervisor and since I’m struggling to fall asleep I

thought I’d oblige.

The Supervisor and I have a strange relationship, despite what you might think there is absolutely no sexual tension between us. That spark you’d expect when we swap looks across the desk is completely AWOL. It just doesn’t exist.

That spark however does exist with a few other men at work but sadly nothing act-on-able. But it’s always nice to have a little something to play off of.

But back to the Supervisor; I hear the questions already; no sexual tension, no spark, so what's the interest?

It’s simple; I think he’d be a good lay.

I hear heads spinning, let me explain; a sexual spark makes sex good, no matter the sex. If the sex is already good the sexual spark isn’t necessary. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a plus but it’s not needed. That pesky spark is the reason feeling develop, meet someone without that spark and you have a first class fuck-friend on your hands.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do have feelings for the Supervisor, just not I want to have his baby feelings. It’s more of a we’ve been married for 30 years and are trying to run a household and raising 60 toddlers together sort of feeling.

We’re a team, and one hell of a team at that. We just have a way of bringing out the best in each other and because of that things just work better when we’re together. We may not have a sexual spark, but we still have a special bond…60 toddlers have a way of doing that to you.

Anyways you’ve asked, I’ve answered and now I’m going to bed. So sweet dreams my lovelies and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

Oh, and PS; what do you do when you can’t sleep?  

Did You Try?

When I've talked about my “relationship” with Barney ending, a couple of friends have asked me the same question; did I try? And I find this question incredibly offensive.

Why is my duty to chase a grown ass man? I messaged him, he failed to message me back, in my book I tried. Did I try hard….no but why should I? If I’m not a priority to him why would I want to chase him?

I hate that emphasis is placed on the woman, like somehow it’s our job to corral men and beat the asshole out of them; while training them in the art of common courtesy and communication. I’m sorry, but I didn’t sign up for that. There are only 2 things in this life worth chase and neither of them are men. They’re alcohol and dreams and I recommend one more then the other.

Given the men I date, it’s a no brainer chase alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol J

Anyways, my lovelies, that’s my rant over with. I am off to make the most of my last night off, cocktails, chick flick and a face mask are just what the doctor ordered. I suppose before I go I should leave you guys with a question; have you ever chased anyone and was it worth it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Weekend Animosity

I’ve recently developed a strong dislike for the weekends and it’s all CM’s fault. He works Monday to Friday, so during that time we’re pretty much free to communicate as we like. Yes, he has work to do but we still text all day and normally even manage a Skype call or two.

Then the weekend rolls around and everything changes. I get next to no text messages during the day; I generally get a message from him about 4 or 5 asking how my day is going. I’ll send a reply back and won’t hear anything for an hour or two. The messages are typically slow going and tend to be short and abrupt. Which I find unappealing to say the least.

Please don’t get me wrong I understand why it’s that way, he has “real life” to deal with and by that I mean his “blah-blah-blah” (yeah, that’s the technical term for it now) but I don’t have to like it.

During a conversation the other day I commented to CM that he can look forward to finishing work all he wants but I happen to like it better when he’s there. He of course asked why and I explained that when he’s not there he’s a bit of an ass (that’s harsh wording on my part, he’s not an ass but that’s the word I used.)  And he sent me this message explaining why.

“You have to remember I usually have someone sitting directly next to me when I’m at home. I know the messages seem short and I really don’t want them to be but it seems like that’s the way they come across x x x x x”

Call me a bitch (because that’s my name) but that’s not the mental image I want of the person I’m having a pseudo affair with. I want to picture them on opposite sides of the room screaming, about to kill each other.....And yes I am aware that makes me a horrible person.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no disillusions, he’s not going to leave his.....blah-blah-blah and I wouldn’t expect him to. I don’t foresee this ending “happily ever after” but I would like to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

That brings me to the question of the blog; is it really that bad to just enjoy the ride while it lasts? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And as always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Relationship Or Mind Blowing Sex

Someone asked me the other day would I kick Merlin out of bed for Sparky; which caused my brain to get stuck in a logic circuit nearly resulting in it blowing up

The problem my brain faced was I like Merlin, he is the sort of low maintenance guy I’m after; he is for the most part un-blog worthy. Sparky on the other hand is hot....and hot. I don’t want to date him or even cuddle with him, to quote A Million Little Brains it’s like my vagina is possessed. The man just needs not to be in clothing.

So this raises the question would you chose amazing sex over a relationship?

I have no actual knowledge of either man’s bedroom performance; this is purely speculation on my part but one gives off the paint by numbers lover vibe and the other well.....the good luck walking in the morning vibe. Which is strange because it’s a well known fact good looking men tend to be rubbish in bed but I’d bet otherwise in this case.

My brain struggled with the question for a very long time...once again my vagina was possessed so logic wasn’t really a factor in any of this however now Merlin seems to have warmed up a little and doesn’t seem so scared, paint by numbers or not, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for Sparky. I might pretend he was Sparky but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.

It did however take me over a week to come up with an answer so I have to ask would you choose mind blowing sex over a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Grinch Who Stole My 21st Birthday

It’s my birthday! Or as I call it the anniversary of the day I knocked my ex-boyfriend out cold. I wrote a blog a long time ago, August 2011 to be exact, about it and over the years something interesting has happen with that post, it’s accumulated just under 50,000 views. By far my most read blog of all time. It’s horrifying and makes me really wish I had done a better job writing it. So since it’s the 5 year anniversary of that event I thought I’d take another swing (pun intended) at writing it.

Let me start by telling you a little about the Grinch; The Grinch was a 27 year old personal trainer and regular in my local pub. The fact he drank in that place should have been my first warning sign but sadly it wasn’t.

We had been swapping flirty eyes for months when New Year’s Eve rolled around and since I was a wee bit intoxicated (it was New Year’s Eve after all) I decided screw it and make the first move. We ended up having a fantastic time and exchanged numbers at the end of the night.

The Grinch was a real slow mover, we texted all the time and chatted but things were going nowhere. Then after a huge push from some friends, we somehow ended up in a relationship not long after Valentine’s Day.

It was never a happy relationship, that dude had more issues than Playboy. Issues he did a fantastic job of hiding until I had and everyone knew I had that “girlfriend” title.  He had a massive problem knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he had a drug problem too. Which would have been an instant deal breaker had I known.

I remember one night he called me up begging me to come get him, I reluctantly agreed to come and take him home. I get him to his place and he wouldn’t get out of my car. I pushed him, pulled him, hell I even kicked him and he wasn’t moving. After 40 minutes of this shit I had him half way out of my car. Then out of nowhere he looks at me, laughs, gets back in and shuts the car door. That man is lucky I didn’t kill him right then and there. I decided fuck it and drove home to let him sleep it off in my car.

3 hours later I’m a sleep in my bed when I hear noises at my door, I get up to see what the hell is happening only to discover the Grinch trying to get in my house with his keys. I was fuming but let him in since I didn’t really have any other choose. I gave him my bed and slept on the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass right there but stupidly listened to my friends and gave him one more chance instead. (Needless to say I’m no longer friends with those people.)

A few weeks after that nightmare, started another one when he dragged me to his cousin’s wedding. It’s a well known fact I hate weddings and this wedding did nothing to help that. The first problem was he evidently comes from a long line of whack-a-doodles. These people made the Adam’s Family look normal.

The second problem was him. He was drunk, loud and ridiculously rude to his family. I was mortified to be seen with him. He was such an ass at one point I ended up putting him on the floor. He spent the weekend acting like an obnoxious over grown child.

After that shit show I had every indentation of dumping him; however it was only 10 day until my birthday so I figured I’d wait until then, after what that asshole put me through I figured I deserved a present.......or a metal.

As much as I deserved it I never did get that present, 2 days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that sorry fucking excuse for a man dumped me! It would be a drastic understatement to say I was pissed. I wasn’t hurt, or heartbroken I was just plain old mad. After the way he acted who was he to dump me?

As if I wasn’t mad enough I found out he was planning to pop in and see me at my birthday party, a party I had been saying for month I didn’t want. But he and my best friend wouldn’t have any of it. I figure since we had broken up I could spend my birthday the way I wanted to....I was clearly mistaken.

To be fair up until the Grinch walked in I was having a wonderful time. Then he walked in and I actually saw red. After that I don’t remember anything until we were stood outside talking and he clearly said something I didn’t like because the next thing I knew I had punched him square in the jaw and he was falling in what felt like slow-motion. I do however remember afterwards feeling really cheated because he went down do easily. I wanted to kick the shit out of him. It was so disappointing, kind of like our relationship.

The real punch line is he was a personal trainer who had just come back from a boxing course......Guess they forgot to teach him to keep his hands up.

I got a lot of praise and few drinks for putting that asshole in his place. He use to walk around with a puffed chest and an over inflated ego. He couldn’t do that after getting beaten up by a girl.

As good as it felt; it kind of sucks that that’s my 21^st birthday memory. He stole that night from me, hell he stole all my birthdays from me. A birthday doesn’t pass without someone talking about my 21^st. On the bright side I did do something that a lot of women only dream of.

I told you about my birthday memory now it’s your turn to share yours, the good or the bad, let me hear them in the comment box below. And as always stay and drink tequila safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Chicken Missing

It’s been about a year since Chicken Man and I have been in the same country at the same time and I’m really missing him. I miss the easiness of our relationship, I miss that he could always make me feel better without even trying and I really miss well.....his penis, ok, I said it, I miss his penis. I swear to god that thing was built for me.

As fond as I am of his penis, it’s his ability to make me feel better I’m missing right now. I miss how when one of us was sick we’d spend all day in bed together watching films you couldn’t pay most men to watch. He loved theatre so we’d watch so The Phantom of the Opera, Cats, or Les Miserables. Like I said, stuff you couldn’t pay most guys to wouldn’t watch.

It always makes me laugh that when people see Chicken Man they think he’s some tough guy, with his knuckles tattooed and all that (which for the record isn’t my type at all) but in reality he’s just this funny, teddy bear who is extremely well traveled and versed in the arts. Saying that I wouldn’t want to cross him, I remember his reaction when it came to light The Grinch cheated on me, that guy is so lucky I beat him up.

 It’s a running joke with my friends that leave it to me to date a “bad boy” (air quotes are needed) that is so well traveled and versed in the arts. Most are into drugs or drinking mines into musical theatre, I never do anything the normal way J

Thank you guys for listening to rumblings I actually feel a lot better now, so what are your “bad boy” or “bad girl” (I’m sure I have some male readers) dating experiences? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

True Intentions

I get asked a lot of questions, and the one that comes up most often is “why can’t men be honest about their true intentions?”  To be honest this question has baffled me for years so instead of me trying to use my woman logic on it, I decided to go straight to the source and ask a guy. So I posed the question to my friend, fellow blogger and kick ass author Joel Sparks. And he was kind enough to agree to write a guest post and try to shed some light on things. So here’s what he has to say on the matter:

"Why men can't be honest about their true intentions?”

Inevitably the question has been asked by a woman, which puts an interesting slant on it. It is also a sweeping question that implies all men are duplicitous when, in fact, some are brutally honest and others are complete rats. Ironically, with a man answering the question, the response should be instantly doubted. However, The Honest Bitch can vouch for my honesty being so brutal that it would make Ghengis Khan and Nero wince.

First of all, allow me to make something clear. Men are weak. We prioritise our agenda over our principles because that yields more satisfying results. So for example, when a girl asks “Does my bum look big in this?” our principles would have us say “Yes, it does” when our agenda makes us say “No, don’t be silly.” The reason being that we know the repercussions of being truthful, namely being labelled insensitive, inconsiderate and unfit for the company of a woman. That is something we do not want. For all the bluster about women driving us mad and preferring to hang out with the boys, we like the company of a good woman.  So why would we burn our bridges with a trivial thing like the whole truth?

Secondly, the dishonest nature is pressured upon men by the increased sense of competition. The men who tell the truth are competing against the men who are prepared to lie to win the girl. It is a universal reality that an entertaining lie is always more appealing than an uncomfortable truth. So by that notion, the reason women frequently feel that men are taking them for a ride is because they pick the liars. By choosing them, not only does it endorse deceitful behaviour, it encourages it. It is easy to understand why someone would choose that. Men are the same. We would rather choose a woman who wears make up, a push bra, plunging neck line and uses well measured vanity tricks over the girl who goes all natural. It is a vicious cycle but we all play the game or lose out.

Finally, the truth is too much information too soon. Some guys only want physical intimacy. Some want a long term relationship. Either way, to lay your cards on the table straight from the off is not only bad poker, it’s a bad idea with ladies. Why? Because we don’t like rejection and a flat out honest offer brings a 50/50 chance of that. Men approach women like a hot bath. Jumping in just gets you scolded. Ease in gently and you increase your chances of success. So “commit to nothing and see if you can extract what she is after” is the mentality that most men take. If she is after something acceptable to us, we roll with it.

If women want men to be honest about their intentions, then women need to lead the way. Like I said, men are weak and their actions are dictated by what they believe will yield the best chance of success with women. Ladies, do you want men to be honest? Then demand it. Not in blogs or Facebook statuses. In clubs, bars, dates and wherever else you may meet guys. The problem is if you were honest with yourselves, it is the last thing you want.

I am sure you’ll join me in thanking Joel for his insight. So what do you guys think? Why can’t men be honest about their true intentions? Let me know in the comment box below. And if you like Joel’s style be sure to show him some love on his site: The Sparks Maxim and follow him on twitter @Sparkyjcs

Stay safe

-The Honest Bitch  

Born-Again Virgins (I'm right you're wrong)

I am for the most part a reasonable person and I’m always open to discuss my opinions with anyone who may see the world differently than I do and I will always try to do so in a respectful mature manor.  

With that being said, I can only do that if the other person's counter argument in based on facts and not make-believe.

Today I received an email from someone telling my views on born- again virgins is completely wrong and I don’t know what I’m talking about.

My response was how am I wrong? Let’s just look at the facts here.

The dictionary defines virginity as “The state of never having had sexual intercourse”.

My view on born-again virgins are that they’re a load of bullshit because once a penis enters your vagina you’re virginity is gone and no amount of wishing is bringing it back. Sound spot on to me.

The counter argument is..........god forgive all.

Well news flash your hymen doesn’t. By that logic I could sleep with a million men and then on the day I get married pray and lo behold I can claim to have lost my virginity on my wedding day. Does that seem fucked up to anyone else?

 Give it up! You had sex, “mistake” or not, you did it so now you’re just like the rest of us who didn’t want to wait. You’re common; you don’t get a special title.

And if you’re going to pick an imaginary title there are so many better ones to choose. Like millionaire or queen but just because you call yourself one doesn’t make it true.

There are a lot of my views you could argue with me about and who knows you might even be right about some of them but not this one. You’re SOL. And there is no amount of hate mail that's going to change my mind. But keep it coming please (Ms.HonestB@gmail.com) I can always use a good laugh.

On a side note: Why is it all my hate mail comes from Christians? Aren’t you people meant to be all “love thy neighbour” not tell her she’s a whore and going to spend all of eternity in hell?

Since you’re all reading this and are most likely going to be joining me for all eternity in hell I have to ask what is the first thing you’re going to do when you get there? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo