Follow Up Questions

I’m finding it really hard to write, partly because I’m switching back from daily posts to my twice weekly post and partly because I didn’t want to do another Q&A post so soon after my last one yet there have been a couple questions asked I feel deserve an answer.

The first of which was; is your unwillingness to find an answer a cop-out, and way to prevent yourself from getting hurt again?

Damn straight. I won’t even pretend otherwise. It’s a different way of building walls, and possibly a better one. I’m not keeping him out, I’m just keeping any “romantic” thoughts out. I just won’t let myself go there. In the unlikely event something happened, I’d react to that, but until then I’m good.

Not to mention, I’ve already been warned to back off, not that I was ever on him, but that’s a little drama I don’t need.

The final question I felt needed an answer is “can Larry write a post to give his side of things?”

NO! Hell No! I am aware we’ve done this stuff in the past, and I always try to let anyone I write about share their side. However, in this case, no. Like I said, I’m trying to stay in a little oblivious bubble and I can’t stay in that bubble if it’s in black and white.

Possibly at some point in the future, I might ask him to do a throwback piece or something, I don’t know, well see how things play out but I can’t see it being anytime soon. I’m sorry.

Anyways, I have to go and work on a few bits, but before I do I have this question for you; is there anything wrong with building walls? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And, as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Why Did I Ask?

There are some questions you just shouldn’t ask when you know there’s a possible you won’t like the answer and I made the horrible mistake of asking one of those questions last night… and shock horror I really didn't like the answer.

Age has always been a big hang up for me, it’s been a deal breaker in the past. I just don’t date men who are younger than me. It’s so bad, I've developed this subconscious filter, which tends to weed out younger men before I even know what’s going on. I won’t know why at first, but my brain will throw up a random red flag that will just eat at me. 9 times out of 10 it'll turn out that the flag was because he’s younger than me.

Admittedly Mr. Block has thrown up some red flags, but I assumed that was down mainly to him and the whole blocking fiasco. So when the gay husband bet me a beer that he was younger than me, I didn't think twice about taking that bet. I sent him a message and didn't give it another thought. About 2 hours later, he sent me a message back, I wish I never opened. It turns out the gay husband was right and Mr. Block is indeed younger than me. Be it only by 7 days, but that’s more than enough to awaken the crazy in me.

I know it’s weird, and a little crazy, but it bugs me and it’s left me in a strange place because I really wanted to give him a fair chance despite everything but with this new information I’m not sure I can.

Let me say this again, I know it’s weird, but you wouldn't be here if I was normal now would you?

Anyways, I'm going to go and try and shut up my brain and try and work out what I want, if anything. But before I go I'm going to leave you with this question; does age matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxoxo

Sometimes I Have No Answers

I got asked a very interesting question by a reader the other day and it’s not often I’m left with no response but this one left me stumped.

She commented that it always seems to be the same sort of guy that complains about being “friend zoned”, the sort of guy you laugh with and have a joke with but doesn’t flirt. Whether it’s real flirting or playful joking flirting, you just get none of that from them. So how on earth are you meant to know if they’re interested?

I’ve been in this girls shoes, where years later I’ve found out I’ve missed out on a great guy because I could have sworn he wasn’t interested. Even replaying it back now there is no possible way I could have known he was interesting and since, despite contrary belief, women aren’t mind readers; how are we meant to know?

My first port of call was to Google it, but I’m pretty sure it’s answer was I’m about to die so I quickly gave up on that one.

Then I thought I’d ask a guy who like the one in the question doesn’t flirt in any shape or form however he failed to respond.

So that leaves me with plan C, to ask you lovely people to answer her question for her since I’ve failed miserably to do so. So how do you know when a non-flirty guy likes you? Let me know in the comment box below and if you have any questions you’d like to see me struggle with, leave them below as well. As always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Ghosts

Someone sent me a question asking why I call my exes ghosts and since my brain is taking an unplanned holiday (too many late nights not enough sleep) I thought I’d answer it here.

First things first, I call both exes and guys I slept once upon a time ghosts. And the reason is very simple, like ghosts you never expect to see these people. I’m not sure why but when you breakup with someone or stop sleeping with them your brain assumes they fell of the face of the planet or died or something. You just don’t expect to see these people ever again.

So when you do bump into these people or they send you a message out of the blue you get a “I'm screwed” feeling in your gut the same feeling I imagine you’d get if you run into an actual ghost.

Maybe I’m just crazy, am I the only one who gets that ghost like feeling when you hear from or see an ex? Or are there some of you out there that actually enjoy seeing your exes? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

True Intentions

I get asked a lot of questions, and the one that comes up most often is “why can’t men be honest about their true intentions?”  To be honest this question has baffled me for years so instead of me trying to use my woman logic on it, I decided to go straight to the source and ask a guy. So I posed the question to my friend, fellow blogger and kick ass author Joel Sparks. And he was kind enough to agree to write a guest post and try to shed some light on things. So here’s what he has to say on the matter:

"Why men can't be honest about their true intentions?”

Inevitably the question has been asked by a woman, which puts an interesting slant on it. It is also a sweeping question that implies all men are duplicitous when, in fact, some are brutally honest and others are complete rats. Ironically, with a man answering the question, the response should be instantly doubted. However, The Honest Bitch can vouch for my honesty being so brutal that it would make Ghengis Khan and Nero wince.

First of all, allow me to make something clear. Men are weak. We prioritise our agenda over our principles because that yields more satisfying results. So for example, when a girl asks “Does my bum look big in this?” our principles would have us say “Yes, it does” when our agenda makes us say “No, don’t be silly.” The reason being that we know the repercussions of being truthful, namely being labelled insensitive, inconsiderate and unfit for the company of a woman. That is something we do not want. For all the bluster about women driving us mad and preferring to hang out with the boys, we like the company of a good woman.  So why would we burn our bridges with a trivial thing like the whole truth?

Secondly, the dishonest nature is pressured upon men by the increased sense of competition. The men who tell the truth are competing against the men who are prepared to lie to win the girl. It is a universal reality that an entertaining lie is always more appealing than an uncomfortable truth. So by that notion, the reason women frequently feel that men are taking them for a ride is because they pick the liars. By choosing them, not only does it endorse deceitful behaviour, it encourages it. It is easy to understand why someone would choose that. Men are the same. We would rather choose a woman who wears make up, a push bra, plunging neck line and uses well measured vanity tricks over the girl who goes all natural. It is a vicious cycle but we all play the game or lose out.

Finally, the truth is too much information too soon. Some guys only want physical intimacy. Some want a long term relationship. Either way, to lay your cards on the table straight from the off is not only bad poker, it’s a bad idea with ladies. Why? Because we don’t like rejection and a flat out honest offer brings a 50/50 chance of that. Men approach women like a hot bath. Jumping in just gets you scolded. Ease in gently and you increase your chances of success. So “commit to nothing and see if you can extract what she is after” is the mentality that most men take. If she is after something acceptable to us, we roll with it.

If women want men to be honest about their intentions, then women need to lead the way. Like I said, men are weak and their actions are dictated by what they believe will yield the best chance of success with women. Ladies, do you want men to be honest? Then demand it. Not in blogs or Facebook statuses. In clubs, bars, dates and wherever else you may meet guys. The problem is if you were honest with yourselves, it is the last thing you want.

I am sure you’ll join me in thanking Joel for his insight. So what do you guys think? Why can’t men be honest about their true intentions? Let me know in the comment box below. And if you like Joel’s style be sure to show him some love on his site: The Sparks Maxim and follow him on twitter @Sparkyjcs

Stay safe

-The Honest Bitch