Showing posts with label Joel Sparks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joel Sparks. Show all posts

Friday 12 April 2013

2nd Enigma

Why do women get mad when men don’t notice they’ve had their hair done? 

Thoughts:  Women take great pride in their appearance. You only have to look at the effort they make in
comparison to men. As if to prove the point, every item of clothing I am wearing as I type this was the thing that was on top in each respective drawer. Between that, deodorant, aftershave and a touch of gel, I, like most men, have made an effort about as sophisticated as a crayon. Whereas a women does her hair, puts on various kinds of make up, tights over shaved legs and then walk on shoes with stilts attached at the back. It is a daily masterpiece that shouldn't look out of place on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel!

This is why I think a woman gets angry when we don't notice that she has had her hair done. It is her art, her work, her passion and we have been apathetic about it. It is like seeing the Mona Lisa and then sneezing on it. While Da Vinci was there. And he had just finished it. It is a royal kick in the teeth.

You see, women look good for three people. Other women, because it is a competition, sometimes friendly, sometimes vicious. They will notice that a woman has had her hair done because they know it is important. Then there is themselves. A woman takes pride in her appearance, something that men increasingly embrace but irritatingly to excessive levels. And indeed, men are the third group. Yet this shift from obsession with sports and beer to hair products and clothing labels hasn't taught us men an appreciation for the vanity game.

Women seem to think we should be more aesthetically savvy but we're not. That is why they get irritated more and more. They think we should know by now. That we should appreciate their effort to impress. So why do they get angry? Because they have forgotten that men are not that fussed about a woman's hair. After all, the question "Are you shaved?" isn't asked because every man is after Sinead O'Connor. You get me? (By Joel Sparks) 

Reality: There are a few reason why we get mad when you don’t notice we’ve had our hair done. The first being we assume you haven’t notice because you’re not paying attention to us. In our minds it’s hard to understand how it’s possible not to notice our hair is a different colour or that it’s 6 inches shorter. I mean if something was 6 inches shorter on your body I think we’d notice.

The second reason we get mad is because we partly do it for you! We don’t roll out of bed looking this way. It takes time and effort.  And when you don’t notice it feels like that time and effort was wasted. I swear the reason women post so many self pics to Facebook is because they spent 4 hours getting ready (hair, makeup, waxing, creams, sprays, lotions) and their other half barely looked up from the TV, so they settle for thumbs ups and comments from jealous women and horny men.

The third and final reason we get mad is, it’s not cheap. The average cost of a women’s hair cut is $45 and for some reason there is no exchange rate because in the UK the average price is £45. And that’s just to get it cut, if you want it coloured you’re talking a 100+. How would you like to spend over $100 on something that's attached to you and have nobody notice? That’s not a great feeling.  (By The Honest Bitch)

Enigma?: Apparently not, men seem to understand women on this one. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not about to change but at least they seem to understand what the fuss is about. Which I have to admit, I didn't think they would

So once again no enigma here, men do understand why women get angry when they fail to notice their hair. 

(I’m sorry for the delay in posting this installment of The Enigma Project, hit the link to check out the project so far. Also be sure to check out my writing partner’s (Joel Sparks) blog. Keep those questions coming in and thanks for reading)

Wednesday 19 September 2012


Joel and I have decided to team up to work on an experiment of sorts called “Enigma?”

Instead of me trying to explain the idea behind it, here’s a link that should bring you up to speed.

I think it’s going to be a lot of fun for us to write and hopefully just as much fun for you guys to read. 

But for this project to work, we’re going to need your help. We need you to send us some questions you’d love to have answered by the opposite sex. You can either leave them here, tweet me (@TheHonestBitch), Email me (, or if you’re feeling a little feisty tweet Joel (@sparkyjcs)

Let me know what you guys think, Love you,

The Honest Bitch 

Wednesday 22 August 2012

True Intentions

I get asked a lot of questions, and the one that comes up most often is “why can’t men be honest about their true intentions?”  To be honest this question has baffled me for years so instead of me trying to use my woman logic on it, I decided to go straight to the source and ask a guy. So I posed the question to my friend, fellow blogger and kick ass author Joel Sparks. And he was kind enough to agree to write a guest post and try to shed some light on things. So here’s what he has to say on the matter:

"Why men can't be honest about their true intentions?”

Inevitably the question has been asked by a woman, which puts an interesting slant on it. It is also a sweeping question that implies all men are duplicitous when, in fact, some are brutally honest and others are complete rats. Ironically, with a man answering the question, the response should be instantly doubted. However, The Honest Bitch can vouch for my honesty being so brutal that it would make Ghengis Khan and Nero wince.

First of all, allow me to make something clear. Men are weak. We prioritise our agenda over our principles because that yields more satisfying results. So for example, when a girl asks “Does my bum look big in this?” our principles would have us say “Yes, it does” when our agenda makes us say “No, don’t be silly.” The reason being that we know the repercussions of being truthful, namely being labelled insensitive, inconsiderate and unfit for the company of a woman. That is something we do not want. For all the bluster about women driving us mad and preferring to hang out with the boys, we like the company of a good woman.  So why would we burn our bridges with a trivial thing like the whole truth?

Secondly, the dishonest nature is pressured upon men by the increased sense of competition. The men who tell the truth are competing against the men who are prepared to lie to win the girl. It is a universal reality that an entertaining lie is always more appealing than an uncomfortable truth. So by that notion, the reason women frequently feel that men are taking them for a ride is because they pick the liars. By choosing them, not only does it endorse deceitful behaviour, it encourages it. It is easy to understand why someone would choose that. Men are the same. We would rather choose a woman who wears make up, a push bra, plunging neck line and uses well measured vanity tricks over the girl who goes all natural. It is a vicious cycle but we all play the game or lose out.

Finally, the truth is too much information too soon. Some guys only want physical intimacy. Some want a long term relationship. Either way, to lay your cards on the table straight from the off is not only bad poker, it’s a bad idea with ladies. Why? Because we don’t like rejection and a flat out honest offer brings a 50/50 chance of that. Men approach women like a hot bath. Jumping in just gets you scolded. Ease in gently and you increase your chances of success. So “commit to nothing and see if you can extract what she is after” is the mentality that most men take. If she is after something acceptable to us, we roll with it.

If women want men to be honest about their intentions, then women need to lead the way. Like I said, men are weak and their actions are dictated by what they believe will yield the best chance of success with women. Ladies, do you want men to be honest? Then demand it. Not in blogs or Facebook statuses. In clubs, bars, dates and wherever else you may meet guys. The problem is if you were honest with yourselves, it is the last thing you want.

I am sure you’ll join me in thanking Joel for his insight. So what do you guys think? Why can’t men be honest about their true intentions? Let me know in the comment box below. And if you like Joel’s style be sure to show him some love on his site: The Sparks Maxim and follow him on twitter @Sparkyjcs

Stay safe

-The Honest Bitch