Relationship Or Mind Blowing Sex

Someone asked me the other day would I kick Merlin out of bed for Sparky; which caused my brain to get stuck in a logic circuit nearly resulting in it blowing up

The problem my brain faced was I like Merlin, he is the sort of low maintenance guy I’m after; he is for the most part un-blog worthy. Sparky on the other hand is hot....and hot. I don’t want to date him or even cuddle with him, to quote A Million Little Brains it’s like my vagina is possessed. The man just needs not to be in clothing.

So this raises the question would you chose amazing sex over a relationship?

I have no actual knowledge of either man’s bedroom performance; this is purely speculation on my part but one gives off the paint by numbers lover vibe and the other well.....the good luck walking in the morning vibe. Which is strange because it’s a well known fact good looking men tend to be rubbish in bed but I’d bet otherwise in this case.

My brain struggled with the question for a very long time...once again my vagina was possessed so logic wasn’t really a factor in any of this however now Merlin seems to have warmed up a little and doesn’t seem so scared, paint by numbers or not, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for Sparky. I might pretend he was Sparky but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.

It did however take me over a week to come up with an answer so I have to ask would you choose mind blowing sex over a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Return of the Creepy Lay

After finding out Merlin is as good as gay and the constant sibling-esque torture from Will and Kate (I may be being over dramatic…ok I am being over dramatic) I made the decision to get in contact with a guy who I know isn’t as good as gay; Pete, Pete the Painter.

I met Pete 3-4 years ago, at a local pub. I fell in lust straight away, he was cute, a little quiet but he was all smiles and joking with his friends. Oddly enough I think he’s the only guy in history I’ve made the first move on. He was at the bar; so I downed my drink and headed to the bar myself. I made a little small talk and by the time I went back to my table I had his phone number.  

A few weeks later I saw him in the pub again so I sent him a text message, and we text back and forth and then he told me it was his birthday. I wished him a happy birthday and he texted back asking where his birthday kiss was. So, later that night, I met up with him away from our friends and gave him his birthday kiss.

We hung around together for maybe 4 or 5 months; he was just the sort of guy I go for, well spoken, looks presentable, a little quiet but a good conversationalist, and most importantly he could make me laugh.

He sounds perfect, right? That’s what I thought until I slept with him. I am not going to go into graphic detail here but he liked eye contact and by that I mean constant you can’t look away or close your eyes, eye contacted. If you broke said eye contacted, he’d stop. It was the strangest, most creepy sex ever. After that night I choose not to see him again.

However after the Merlin fiasco I figured why not go for another guy that has “THIS IS GOING TO END BADLY” written all over him. And who knows, maybe since our last encounter he’s learned how not scare women he’s currently in.

That’s wishful thinking on my part isn’t it? Could you over sleep with someone like that? And what is the strangest kink you’ve come across? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

Merlin and Sperm

Never let it be said I’m a cold hearted bitch, because I actually feel bad for referring to “The New Guy” (who I will now be calling Merlin) as “emotionally detached”. That was a poorly thought out turn of phrase.

Merlin is not emotionally detached, he is a little tightly wound and possibly has a stick up his ass but emotionally detached was an unfair comment. However I am still unsure if he actually posses a sense of humour or not. I’m leaning towards not.

None of this actually matters because William was withholding crucial information about Merlin from me. The first thing he failed to tell me is there is already a woman laying claim to Merlin's penis. And the second and fatal blow that William neglected to inform me of is Merlin has an Arthur. Or in terms anybody who isn’t inside my head would understand he has a child!

I do not date men who have proven there sperm to be functional. It’s part of my safe sex plan. Birth control, condoms and a reasonable chance the man I’m with is shooting blanks! Call me crazy, but it’s worked for me so far.

However William seems to think by ruling out all men who are responsible for successful ovum landings I am cutting off my nose to spite my face. So I have to ask; would you date someone who has a child? And do you think I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play (especially play) safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo