What Are You Looking For?

There is one question that has become the bane of my life now that I have decided to torture myself with online dating. That question being “what are you looking for?” Now I’m sure that this question shouldn’t be as hard as it, but I can’t seem to find even a half decent answer.

The honest answer being I’m not looking for anything. If I happen to find someone awesome, if I don’t, I’m good. I am not looking for anybody to make me whole or any of that bullshit. I’m there because I write a blog about dating and relationships and sometimes you need to do a little research to better your writing.

That may be the honest answer, however, it gets you nowhere. Men apparently don’t want to know the truth. They want to think you need them and the fact I don’t, scares them… Funny enough, I didn’t need a dating site to tell me this, I’ve been having the same issue for years.

You’d think I’d be able to pick up the “right” answer by talking to the first few guys, however, all their answers seem kind of pathetic to me so that’s clearly not going to work. Perhaps the right thing to do is keep answering honestly and the guy I don’t scare off is the man for me but I just don’t know.

So I leave the question with you; what is the non-pathetic answer to “what are you looking for?” let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Wisdom Tooth Tourette's

I’m starting to think they’re called wisdom teeth because if you have any wisdom at all you get them removed before the little bastard’s turn your mouth into a living hell of pain and torture.

Despite being one of the few people who actually have room for their wisdom teeth to come in, mine decided they were going to be dicks. The latest tooth to cause me hell decided it was going to come in at a stupid angle. So not only is it causing my gums pain it’s chewing up my cheek at the same time turning me into a super bitch. For me pain does one of two things; makes me cry or makes me angry, this tooth has done the latter. It’s also given me what I call “wisdom tooth Tourette's”.

I’ll be talking normally then I’ll move my jaw in a way that causes my tooth to be a dick and mid-sentence I’ll start swearing saying something like “you dick, you fucking dick.” I have no ability to control this, it’s like my brain is too busy plotting to bite the dentist that it has no time to stop the onslaught of four letter words flying out of my mouth.

Luckily I have an appointment tomorrow to see and possible bite my dentist (he did an X-rays like two months ago you think he could have warned me this was coming). Hopefully he can sort this out. I really don’t want to get it pulled; the image of last time still haunts me. Sitting in the dentist chair for over an hour while the dental nurse holds my head and the dentist pulled at the tooth. I still have nightmares but this is a different dentist so fingers crossed it goes better.

Anyways I’m going to go and swear; before you say anything the MythBusters proved swearing helps to deal with pain so :-P Let me know how you deal with pain in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Christmas Lunch Hell

Later this week I’m going to a Christmas lunch with my step dad’s mom and my mom which isn’t my idea of a good time but it’s not the end of the world. Then today it was sprung on me that my step dad (who isn’t going to the lunch) invited his brother and wife to join us. I’m not impressed.

I’m dreading the “isn’t it about time you get married and start having kids?” conversation. It wouldn’t be so bad if they were asking because I’m in a long term relationship but that’s not why they’re asking. They’re asking because they’re kids who are both younger than me are married and their eldest who is 23 has two children.

They always say it like what their kids have done is such an accomplishment. Since when is getting knocked up at 18 by mistake, then a year later being pursued into marring your baby daddy and then a couple years later having another unplanned baby while being financially unstable and working a low paying job, an accomplishment?

Personally I think the real accomplishment is being 25 and not popping out kids I can’t afford but that’s just me and well.......logic.

“But don’t you want to get married?” They make it sounds like I’m a freaking old maid. I’m 25 not a 125. Just because their kids got married at a young age to people they weren’t dating all that long doesn’t make it right.

I’ll get married when I’m good and ready...maybe.

“You’re so good with kids, you should have some.” Once again I’m 25!!! My biological clock isn’t ticking yet. I have a good 15 childbearing years left; I have plenty of time before I need to start worrying about this stuff.

Not to mention the fact I need a guy and his sperm before I can even start to think about that stuff. Marriage, mortgage, kids in that order is the plan. But before any of that can happen I have to find a guy I don’t want to murder. (And I will personally punch anyone in the face who even suggests Mr. X but that’s a rant for another day).

I’ll never understand why anyone would want to push me into get married off. I’m happy just being me and taking my time, the only thing making me unhappy is people trying to tell me what to do with MY life. Last time I check choosing not to be a statistic is a good thing. You’d never fucking know that in that family.

So what do you dread most about spending time with your extended family? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Mouth Hell

I want to start by apologizing for being a bad blogger. I took last weekend off for Thanksgiving and then this weekend I missed because, well, I looked like the elephant man and wasn't feeling too hot because of that.

This past week I’ve been in mouth hell.

Wednesday I had an hour long dentist appointment to have a crown done because I broke a tooth eating a bowl of fruit loops (I kid you not; I broke a tooth eating cereal). I don’t know if you’ve ever had a crown done but it’s not fun. They take like 4 different types of molds and it’s just a lot of stuff that makes you want to bite the dentist. Plus you’re frozen and I hate that.

Once I was home and the freezing had worn off, I discovered my bite felt off and I mean way off. It feels like the crown is a foot too high. I was also in a fair bit of pain because the molding trays pissed off my wisdom teeth. I decided to just suck it up and hope things would settle after a few days........They didn’t.

My wisdom tooth decided it hated me and got itself infected. And I’m not talking a little infected, I’m talking couldn’t open my open, swollen face, sore throat, ear ache and feeling sick infected. I spent most of the weekend looking like I escaped a freak show.

Thankfully I’m feeling a little better now. My ear and mouth still hurt but I’m looking a lot less post boxing matchy. Saying that my bite is still off and every time I chew on the crown side it feels like I’m chewing on tin-foil.

It’s not much fun but I’m still not ready to give in a go back to the dentist. Why you ask? Because this sucks, but it sucks a lot less then the nightmare that was having my lower right wisdom tooth pulled.

Here’s the short version of that story; I went to the emergency dentist because my right upper wisdom tooth hurt like hell and my jaw was swollen. The dentist decided to pull my lower wisdom tooth because “it’s easier” and “should help”. The dumb bitch then struggled to freeze the area, once she did, I then spent and an hour in the chair while her assistant held my head and the dentist pulled.  

I still have nightmares about the whole thing so needless to say my other 3 wisdom teeth are staying where they are. Maybe that’s why most people get all 4 pulled at once. I’ve never been one to do things the easy way.

So what wisdom teeth stories do you guys have? Who knows maybe it’ll make me or someone else feel a little better. And as always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Born-Again Virgins (I'm right you're wrong)

I am for the most part a reasonable person and I’m always open to discuss my opinions with anyone who may see the world differently than I do and I will always try to do so in a respectful mature manor.  

With that being said, I can only do that if the other person's counter argument in based on facts and not make-believe.

Today I received an email from someone telling my views on born- again virgins is completely wrong and I don’t know what I’m talking about.

My response was how am I wrong? Let’s just look at the facts here.

The dictionary defines virginity as “The state of never having had sexual intercourse”.

My view on born-again virgins are that they’re a load of bullshit because once a penis enters your vagina you’re virginity is gone and no amount of wishing is bringing it back. Sound spot on to me.

The counter argument is..........god forgive all.

Well news flash your hymen doesn’t. By that logic I could sleep with a million men and then on the day I get married pray and lo behold I can claim to have lost my virginity on my wedding day. Does that seem fucked up to anyone else?

 Give it up! You had sex, “mistake” or not, you did it so now you’re just like the rest of us who didn’t want to wait. You’re common; you don’t get a special title.

And if you’re going to pick an imaginary title there are so many better ones to choose. Like millionaire or queen but just because you call yourself one doesn’t make it true.

There are a lot of my views you could argue with me about and who knows you might even be right about some of them but not this one. You’re SOL. And there is no amount of hate mail that's going to change my mind. But keep it coming please (Ms.HonestB@gmail.com) I can always use a good laugh.

On a side note: Why is it all my hate mail comes from Christians? Aren’t you people meant to be all “love thy neighbour” not tell her she’s a whore and going to spend all of eternity in hell?

Since you’re all reading this and are most likely going to be joining me for all eternity in hell I have to ask what is the first thing you’re going to do when you get there? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo