Showing posts with label Chicken Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicken Man. Show all posts

Friday, 30 June 2017

Is This It?

Despite the fact I enjoy being single and the easiness that comes with it. Over recent days, I’ve been starting to wonder; Is this it?

I’m 30 years old now; I always pictured myself getting married and having kids but, in realistic terms, time is running out and it’s not like there is anything on the horizon either. I’m starting to wonder if marriage and kids just aren’t on the cards for me.

With all these thoughts in my head, my brain drifts to those things you hear in passing, like everyone only gets two great loves in their lifetime. I’ve been aware for years if that’s true, I’m fucked. My two have long come and gone. And with that knowledge once and a while, I wondered to myself did I blow my chance?

If you’ve been here a while, my two great loves won’t be a surprise to you. Of course, you have Mr. X who I won’t go into, I have plenty of posts on this site that’ll explain that whole mess. Then you have Chicken Man, who has been on my mind a lot lately.

Chicken Man is unquestionably my other “great love”, that man completely shook me to my core and did nothing but change me for the better. Where Mr. X tore me down. Chicken Man built me up. He entered my life at just the right time and was exactly what I needed. However, due to him traveling for work and things like that, the relationship just faded out over time. However; when I think back on it, I can’t help but wonder what if?

Anyways; enough of that, I need to go and pack for my holiday. When you’re reading this, I will be on my way to London to celebrate Canada’s 150th Birthday and I can’t wait. But, before I go, I have this question for you; Do you believe we only get two great loves? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always. Stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Friday, 29 March 2013

Hot Mess Easter

So the holiday the tradition lives on, this holiday I’ve been gifted bronchitis. I swear my body knows when I have down times and choices that time to not even try to fight off germs. Its like “you have time off so why not get sick? It’s a lot less work then trying to fight it off.” .......Stupid smart ass body.

So now on to what I actually want to talk about; songs that sum up relationships. Those songs the teleport you back in time to all those thoughts and memories of a past relationship. I don’t mean “your song” the one you first danced to or any of that. I mean one you listen to after the fact and just seem to sum it all up.

I’ve been listening to Hedley “Hot Mess” a lot lately and that’s the song that in my head sums of the whole Mr. X mess up. It might seem a little odd at first, mainly because you don’t tend to call men hot messes but minus the “disaster in a dress” thing (he’s more a disaster in a suit) the song sums it all up. Right down to the reason it went on for so fucking long and sadly the reason it could happen again I was addicted to the madness. When you’re a blogger madness is good for business, horrible for makeup though.

Chicken Man on the other hand is Bruno Mars “Marry You” that whole relationship was such an easy, fun and care free thing. I could easily see us in the middle of the night deciding we were bored so what the hell? “We’re looking for something dumb to do” is probably how our relationship started J

So what songs sum up your past relationships? Let me know in the comment below and well you’re at it tell me what home remedies you have for bronchitis? I hope you all have a fantastic Easter and as always stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Chicken Missing

It’s been about a year since Chicken Man and I have been in the same country at the same time and I’m really missing him. I miss the easiness of our relationship, I miss that he could always make me feel better without even trying and I really miss well.....his penis, ok, I said it, I miss his penis. I swear to god that thing was built for me.

As fond as I am of his penis, it’s his ability to make me feel better I’m missing right now. I miss how when one of us was sick we’d spend all day in bed together watching films you couldn’t pay most men to watch. He loved theatre so we’d watch so The Phantom of the Opera, Cats, or Les Miserables. Like I said, stuff you couldn’t pay most guys to wouldn’t watch.

It always makes me laugh that when people see Chicken Man they think he’s some tough guy, with his knuckles tattooed and all that (which for the record isn’t my type at all) but in reality he’s just this funny, teddy bear who is extremely well traveled and versed in the arts. Saying that I wouldn’t want to cross him, I remember his reaction when it came to light The Grinch cheated on me, that guy is so lucky I beat him up.

 It’s a running joke with my friends that leave it to me to date a “bad boy” (air quotes are needed) that is so well traveled and versed in the arts. Most are into drugs or drinking mines into musical theatre, I never do anything the normal way J

Thank you guys for listening to rumblings I actually feel a lot better now, so what are your “bad boy” or “bad girl” (I’m sure I have some male readers) dating experiences? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday, 14 February 2013

The Case Of The Valentine's Day Flowers

Something strange happened today......I received flowers.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking, that isn’t strange at all; I mean it is Valentine’s Day after all. But the strange part is I’m not dating or even seeing anybody right now and I don’t even know who sent the flowers, the only thing the card said was “I miss you”.

I’m sure whoever sent the flowers is expecting me to call and say thank you or at the very least no who “I miss you” is. But here’s a little not so secret about me, I’ve dated a lot of guys and I have no clue whatsoever who “I miss you” is.

The only hints I have are he sent tulips, which is my favourite flower, so he must know me fairly well and he clearly knows my home address. That’s not a lot to go on. I was going to post a message on Facebook to thank whoever sent them but then I’ll get everyone saying it was them and I’ll still be none the wiser.

I can safely rule out Mr. X because he’d burst into flames if he did anything nice for anyone but himself, plus I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know my actual address.

And I can rule out Chicken Man, when he sends me things he always leaves a little hint so I know it’s from him. That’s kind of his trademark.

I think I can also rule out anyone who reads my blog. I wrote a piece a few weeks ago about how Valentine’s Day doesn’t tickle my peach. I'm sure if they read that they’d be sending me pizza and beer not flowers.

With all that said I’m still clueless to whom “I miss you” is, but as much as I dislike Valentine’s Day, I really do enjoy a good mystery so I’m going to have fun trying to work this out, until I need to get a restraining order that is.

So how are you spending your Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,                 
                                                  
The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Friday, 10 August 2012

How the Chicken Got His Name

I have told this story before but someone asked me about it the other day so I thought I’d tell it again. Besides, it’s my only relationship story that doesn’t end with me wanting to commit murder.

This story begins (like a lot of my stories) in my local pub on a Thursday night. I was having a drink at the pub with my friend K, my boyfriend at the time (the Grinch) and K’s boyfriend Jeff who was working behind the bar.

A bunch of the guys were playing poker, and as I was chatting to Jeff I noticed a new guy with them looking our way and smiling. So I smiled back and went back to chatting. As the night went on I noticed him making flirting eyes our way and smiling. When he’d come up to the bar to get a drink he’d make small talk with Jeff then go back to his table.

After a few hours of this I turned to Jeff and said “who the hell is this guy flirting with me or you? “ He said he wasn’t sure so I said to him “go on, flirt back with him, you know you want to.” As you can imagine Jeff wasn’t game for that idea. But when K and Grinch went outside for a smoke he said to me “why don’t you do it?” So me being me and not needing much egging on, I did. And soon it was very clear the new poker play guy wasn’t gay. So with that the mystery was solved, and that was that.

Around 10pm The Grinch said he was leaving so he got up gave me a kiss and headed for the door. Before he was even out the second set of doors the mystery flirty guy was next to me and handed me a little piece of paper.

The paper said (which I actually still have) “Hello I’m Mike. Couldn’t help but notice you, my number is xxx xxx, give me a call or text if you would like to get to know me, no hard feelings if not x”.

Since I had a boyfriend at the time I didn’t have much interest in getting to know him better so when I got to my car, I threw it down somewhere and forgot about it.

Over the next few months Mike came in the pub most Thursday night to play poker with the guys. So despite not texting him I did ended up talking to him a few times and getting to know him a little better. I was pleasantly surprised to find out he was a nice guy who was a lot of fun to be around (I normally only get hit on by freaks.)

One night K and I were in the pub bored out of our minds, so she suggested we text Mike. I said ok but she’d have to go liberate his number from the mess that was my car. Once she managed to find it we started sending him random messages while he tried to work out who the hell was messaging him saying they were the tooth fairy.

Before he managed to work out who we were K had to go home leaving me alone to continue our game. It took him a few hours but he managed to work out who it was and after he guessed we chatted for a while, actually if I remember right I actually fell asleep texting him.

Before you ask I did tell The Grinch about me texting Mike and he didn’t care so I continued doing it. It was all harmless and friendly minus his choice words about my boyfriend (which in hindsight he was right about).

That was until one Thursday night in May (3 days before my 21st birthday to be exact) when I was in the pub with the Grinch and Mike was in playing poker with the guys. Mike smiled at me and pulled a funny face which made me laugh, apparently the Grinch didn’t find it so funny because 2 minutes later I was single. Oh well, it turns out the Grinch was cheating on me with a blonde anyways so it was well worth the laugh.

When I left the pub Mike could tell something was up so he called to check on me. When I told him what happened he said to come get him from the pub if I wanted to talk. But by that time K was at my house and she wouldn’t let me go see him. She felt it was a bad idea and she may have been right.

That didn’t stop Mike and I from texting though and since I was now single things were a little less PG....ok a lot less. But he was always a gentleman and sweetheart when K and I would see him in person.

After a few weeks he suggested I go and see him at the pub, since everyone knows me in there and they like to talk, I wasn’t very keen on that idea. Since I wouldn’t go and see him, he kept calling me chicken.

About a week later I sent him a message asking if he was coming to the pub with K and I. He said he’d pass, so I sent him a message saying “what are you, some sort of big chicken man?” He didn’t reply so when I got to the pub and K asked where he was I said he wasn’t coming because he was a chicken man and it kind of stuck.

We finally managed to meet up alone about a month after my birthday. He definitely won me over that night. When I saw him the first thing I noticed was a picture of a chicken on his t-shirt. I couldn’t help but smile. When he leaned in to kiss me, he said “come on are you chicken?” and never one to be out done I said “not at all, you’re the Chicken Man.” And with that I kissed him.

So that is how Chicken Man got his name and if you ask me he kind of sealed his own fate. Moral of the story be careful who you call chicken or you may find yourself being called Chicken Man for the rest of your life.

What nickname stories do you guys have? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  
xoxoxo