How Things Have Changed

A lot of you had concerns that once Steve returned from paternity leave things would change, are after him being back a week I can confirm your fears were well founded. Like you, I wasn’t surprised; I knew it was coming. What I didn’t see coming was how off he was. I am not sure how much of that was the stress of coming back and how much of that is change, I guess only time will tell on that one.

To be honest, I didn’t speak to him at all his first week back. I lost a lot of respect for him when he didn’t reach out when he knew/should have known I was struggling. I was a lot worse off than I will ever admit, and I hurt that someone I thought of as a friend, the only person I felt remotely safe enough to sort of reach out to, didn’t care. He didn’t even bother to pick up a phone when he came back to work. Knight in shining armour to loser in aluminium foil.

I did choose to extend an olive branch at the end of the week and dropped him a message. I didn’t want any hard feeling to fester as I do have to continue working with him. It was a waste of time at first. However, with a little persistence, we’re ok.

Only time will tell what has changed, what is fixable, what is a loss. At this point, I’m content to take the lessons learned and call leave it at that.

Anyways, I have improv this evening and I need to get off, but before I go I have this question for you; Can you earn respect back? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Helping A Friend Through A Breakup

It’s been a long couple of days, one of my dear friends got dumped by a jerk and since my speciality is breakups, I’ve been at her 24 hour beck and call. Which means lots of late nights and a few makeup strained shoulders (anyone know how to get mascara out of a white shirt?).

Honestly I don’t really mind, although the first 24 hours after a breakup suck even for me. You can’t really do anything to help during that period. You just have to sit there and listen. And maybe throw out the odd “it’s going to be ok”. You can’t say anything else because they don’t want to hear it and it almost sounds a little forced. You just have to let them cry it out no matter how tough it is to watch.

When it comes to breakups I follow the saying “cry a river, build a bridge and get over it”. But unfortunately step 1 is crying the river.

Depending on how long they dated normally after 24 hours they’re ready for some humour based bad mouthing. You can’t be too mean at this point or they’ll burst into tears and say “but I love him” and nobody wants to see that mess (trust me). But if you can get them laughing 99% of time you’re golden.

With my friend the line that worked was “look on the bright side at least now you don’t have to shave his bear skin rug like back.” It was true and got a snotty laugh, gross but a good sign.

After humour bad mouthing comes my favourite part, junk and bitching. Admittedly I feel sick today after the pizza, ice cream and chocolate last night (please note no alcohol, that’s very important. NEVER give a dumpee booze) but she’s feeling better and that’s what matters. We spent the evening plotting revenge and discussing his small penis, lack of manners and how he laughs like a “brain dead hyena”.

While I’m home today recovering from last night’s junk fest she’s out with some of the other girls getting her hair and nails done. Once you stop the crying phase it’s important to look good. It makes you feel better and let’s face it, if you run into your ex there is no better revenge then looking hot (unless you're in your car when you run into him). Hell even if his friends see you they’ll report back to him so looking good is a must.

Normally after a week or so my friends are pretty much back to their normal selves. They might still have the odd tear and shouldn’t be drinking and left alone with their phone but on the whole there pretty stable at that point and the amount of calls I get reduces drastically.

I’m not sure how I ended up in this role but when my friends are crying they always ask for me. I don’t really understand it but my best guess is it’s because I don’t fed them lies, I don’t say they’ll get back together, I just listen and once they’re ready, joke with them. I mean I can’t fix it so all I can do is try to lighten things up and occasionally threaten an ex or two.

So that’s how I handle my friends when they’re going through a breakup but what do you do? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always my dears stay and play safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo