Helping A Friend Through A Breakup

It’s been a long couple of days, one of my dear friends got dumped by a jerk and since my speciality is breakups, I’ve been at her 24 hour beck and call. Which means lots of late nights and a few makeup strained shoulders (anyone know how to get mascara out of a white shirt?).

Honestly I don’t really mind, although the first 24 hours after a breakup suck even for me. You can’t really do anything to help during that period. You just have to sit there and listen. And maybe throw out the odd “it’s going to be ok”. You can’t say anything else because they don’t want to hear it and it almost sounds a little forced. You just have to let them cry it out no matter how tough it is to watch.

When it comes to breakups I follow the saying “cry a river, build a bridge and get over it”. But unfortunately step 1 is crying the river.

Depending on how long they dated normally after 24 hours they’re ready for some humour based bad mouthing. You can’t be too mean at this point or they’ll burst into tears and say “but I love him” and nobody wants to see that mess (trust me). But if you can get them laughing 99% of time you’re golden.

With my friend the line that worked was “look on the bright side at least now you don’t have to shave his bear skin rug like back.” It was true and got a snotty laugh, gross but a good sign.

After humour bad mouthing comes my favourite part, junk and bitching. Admittedly I feel sick today after the pizza, ice cream and chocolate last night (please note no alcohol, that’s very important. NEVER give a dumpee booze) but she’s feeling better and that’s what matters. We spent the evening plotting revenge and discussing his small penis, lack of manners and how he laughs like a “brain dead hyena”.

While I’m home today recovering from last night’s junk fest she’s out with some of the other girls getting her hair and nails done. Once you stop the crying phase it’s important to look good. It makes you feel better and let’s face it, if you run into your ex there is no better revenge then looking hot (unless you're in your car when you run into him). Hell even if his friends see you they’ll report back to him so looking good is a must.

Normally after a week or so my friends are pretty much back to their normal selves. They might still have the odd tear and shouldn’t be drinking and left alone with their phone but on the whole there pretty stable at that point and the amount of calls I get reduces drastically.

I’m not sure how I ended up in this role but when my friends are crying they always ask for me. I don’t really understand it but my best guess is it’s because I don’t fed them lies, I don’t say they’ll get back together, I just listen and once they’re ready, joke with them. I mean I can’t fix it so all I can do is try to lighten things up and occasionally threaten an ex or two.

So that’s how I handle my friends when they’re going through a breakup but what do you do? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always my dears stay and play safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

NHL v GLAAD

This isn’t something I wouldn’t normally write about but it’s bugging me and it’s my blog so I’m going to write about it.

GLAAD is demanding that NHL take action against Philadelphia Flyer Wayne Simmonds for allegedly calling New York Ranger Sean Avery a faggot during a game last week.  

I have a lot of problems with this. I normally respect GLAAD and the work they do but in this case they can’t win and instead of passing on a good messages to NHL fans they’re just pissing off the fans who now don’t care what their message is and just see GLAAD as a pest.

The first problem with this case is Wayne Simmonds in a game earlier that week had a banana thrown at him. It was a blatant racist attack...if you believe the news. I personally think that might be all the guy had to hand but that’s beside the point. It didn’t make anywhere near as big of a news story as this.

The second part of this problem is Sean Avery in the same game where he was allegedly called a faggot, was picked up on a microphone threatening to kill Claude Giroux. There is no allegedly in that story he clear as day said it.

So the problem NHL fans are having with GLAAD is who are they to say their issue is more important than racism or a death threat. Other things happened in that game and for them to make a fuss over something nobody else heard when Avery himself said horrible things in that game makes them look pity.

The other issue of course is Sean Avery. He’s not what you call well liked. Actually I don’t know a hockey fan that has a nice thing to say about him. So even before GLAAD opened their mouth they were on thin ice. If you’re going to try and make a stand, logic would dictate you do it off a respectable player. Something Avery is not.

Maybe this is because I live in England now where they eat faggots and smoke fags but I feel GLAAD is being a little sensitive. Things get said in the heat of the moment during sports and what they say may not be pc it’s not a crime. They’re not saying these words to hurt or offend, they’re saying it to get under each other’s skin and clearly since Avery cried to the media it worked.

I personally take offence to claims that the NHL and their fans are homophobic. Give me a break. Hockey players talk shit that's their job, it's part of the game. What they say may not be politically correct or even fit for TV but that doesn’t make them or their fans who understand this homophobic.

I’m willing to bet this wouldn’t even be news if Avery hadn’t been over heard threatening to kill Claude Giroux. He didn’t want the shit storm, so instead he throw Simmonds under the bus. Classy.

I’m a big believer in what happens on the ice should stay on the ice and if Avery had a problem with what was said he should dealt with it on the ice instead of crying to the media like a over grown baby.

I’m a Leafs fan so I kind of feel dirty supporting a Flyer but I had to unleash my rant. I'm not saying what was said is right I'm just saying the sky isn't falling. Anyways my dears, I’m off for the evening as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

This Needs To Be Said

This needs to be said.....

When you’re constantly breaking up and getting back together, that is NOT a relationship. That is a fuck friend who doesn’t know the rules.

Stop being so naive, he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t miss you, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to make it work, and before you say it, NO, YOUR MAN IS NOT DIFFERENT!

He’s horny. It’s simple.

Stop lying to yourself and more importantly stop making everyone hear about how he’s going to change. You my dear, are nothing but a place for him to rest his penis in.

There is nothing wrong with this per se. Fuck friends are great, but you need to be aware that’s what you are.

So stop the drama and either call a spade a spade or move on with your life. Don’t be stupid and pretend there’s something there when there clearly isn’t. It just makes you look pathetic and meek. Stop making the rest of us look bad and being a disgrace to the female race.

That’s my 2 cents and I’m sure you’ll tell me yours. Love you guys and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Are Women More Emotional Then Men?

I asked this question of my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/TheHonestB) a few weeks ago and after reading all the replies I feel inspired to write a post on the matter.

So are women more emotional then men?

Personally I think women and men are equally as emotional as each other. The difference is which emotions we show.

I’ll be the first to admit women are more likely to cry whether it’s over hurt feelings, pain or just because they’re happy (I’ll never understand that). But I also think women are more likely to hide certain feelings.

Most women won’t show if they’re stressed, angry or annoyed. We just bottle those feelings up. Mainly so we can turn around and use them at a later date but my point still stands we hide those kinds of feelings.

Men on the other hand will normally show if they’re angry, stressed or annoyed. They won’t even attempt to hind those kinds of feelings. Most men will however hind any feelings that may lead to them crying. It’s kind of like they’re the wicked witch and tears will cause them to melt.

So you can’t really say women are more emotional them men because we’re not. We just choose more often than not to show emotions that will ruin our makeup. Unlike men who choose to show emotions that will result in them sleeping on the couch.

No one sex is better than the other when it comes to being emotional. We’re just equally as screwed up as one and other.

Have a great night and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Bad Boys, Idiot Girls

Why do women go for “bad boys” then insist on bitching about them when they get hurt?

Nothing pisses me off more than listening to women bitch and moan about a guy; she has referred to as a “bad boy”. Surely the title alone is enough of a warning sign. Do you really need to touch the fire to see if you’ll get burnt?

Personally I don’t know what draws women to bad boys, they’ve always seemed like complete idiots to me. My common sense wouldn’t allow me to date anyone like that. But apparently common sense isn’t all the common.

If you choose to date “bad boys” do me a favour and don’t come crying to me when you get hurt. As far as I’m concerned it’s self inflected, and you deserve whatever you get for not using your brain.

Also let me add this when you contently breakup and get back together with a guy, you look like a weak minded doormat. It’s just an exercise in futility. Men don’t change! That’s just a fact of life, deal with it.

Women like that, who allow men to walk all over them, give us all a bad name. Not to mention it sends screwed up messages to men. Ever wonder where all the good men went? Women like that sent them screwy messages and turned them all into assholes........Ok some of them were born assholes but my point still stands.

Anyways my dears I’m heading off. Have a great day and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

I'm Not That Girl

I’ve reached an age where a lot of my friends are starting to get married off. That’s all well and good for them but I have a problem with it. It’s not with them getting married per se it’s more about them telling me about it and expecting me to be all excited for them. News flash....I’m not that girl.

I’m just not someone who dreams about their wedding day, I never have been. Even as a kid I never pretended to get married or even gave it a thought. It’s not that I’m against marriage or anything like that. I just believe that love is between 2 people and why should hundreds of guests be forced to hear about it.

I actually remember being at Sunday school, my teacher at the time was the pastor’s wife and she decided one Sunday to show us their wedding video. I remember sitting there, while all the girls were crying thinking, “why is she torturing all those people.” (Kids think the darndest things, eh?)

I like to think in every circle of friends each friend as a speciality. Love or matter of love was never mine. In the friendship world my speciality is “break-ups”. If you’re crying at 3am because your boyfriend dumped you, I’m the girl to call. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a bitch but bad mouthing the guy that dumped my friend and pointing out all the guys’ flaws comes naturally to me. However if you want to get back with him....it's not advisable to call me.

Clearly I’m not the girl you call when you decide to get married; I’m the girl you call when you decide to called off your wedding. When my friends tell me they’re getting married it takes everything in me not say “Congratulations, call me when you get divorced.” That’s not me being mean that’s just me embracing who I am.

Everyone always says play to your strengths and I do that. Ok, my strengths are a little meaner than most but in the world of friendships I play a vital role.

I love you guys and as always please stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Not Such A Happy Easter

I’m just going to try and keep this short because if it gets too long I change my view point and none of what I said makes any sense. Trust me this is draft number 7.

I tweeted a picture of my rather soggy tear stained pillows and you guys want to know what happened so I’ll do my best to share the details with you.

I posted a blog at the start of the month about my friends being shitty friends and apparently it read like I was only picking on one person. I didn’t mean it to sound that way and most you didn’t read it that way but someone did and shit hit the fan.

I handled things poorly. I went into manager mode and just deflexed his statements because I didn’t want to make myself look bad and because of that we decided it would be best if our dealings ended there.

Personally I will really miss him but I respect him and sometimes good bye is just best for both parties. I’m sure I’ll shed many more tears but I’ll learn from it and become stronger.

Looking at the bright-side I only have to deal with tonight and Monday. Tuesday I will be highly medicated and luck if I remember my own name. Actually I think I still have some tranquillisers left ......Can you mix them with tequila?

Anyways my dears thank you for listening. I’ll include that pillow picture in case you didn’t see it on twitter. Have a good night, I’m off to drown my sorrows and hopefully wake up to this all being a bad dreams. (Does that ever work)?

Love You All

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo