Positive Reinforcement

I’ve had a lovely week off but man, it was like the whole world knew I was taking some time off and were conspiring to plant ideas in my head. I have a notebook full of ideas that are just crying out to be made into blogs. It took some real will power not to log on to my computer and start writing.

Luckily I am back now and can start turning some of those ideas into readable words. I’m going to start with something that happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning.

I was chatting with NTB and like always when we chat the time got away from me and when I looked at the clock I realised it was almost 6am and I had to be up in 4 hours so I said good night and crawled into bed.

Just before I nodding off I picked up my phone to check my Twitter and noticed I had a text message. This was a little strange, normally any drunken messages I get have come and gone by that hour. I looked at the name and I didn’t immediately recognize it. After a few minutes my half asleep brain finally worked out who it was and who it was kind of through me for a loop. It was a guy I dated/slept with regularly 10 years ago (and if you’re doing the math I’m well aware how old I was 10 years ago).  

Needless to say I was a little curious to why he’d be messaging me. All sorts of things run through your head and none of them are good. Luckily he didn’t keep me guessing long, he soon made his intent very clear.

He wanted to relive some of the good old days and come over to “see me”.  Me not being stupid asked “and do what?” Him not being the coy type replied “f*ck you.” Charming I know.

Once he said that I quickly sent him a message saying “Oh, really? Last I heard you had a girlfriend.” I hadn’t heard anything but I figured men never change and he quickly confirmed that with his reply “So I’d still f*ck you”.

I was actually impressed by his honest reply. I almost wanted to throw him one as a reward. I mean we spend our whole lives telling men just to be honest with us. When one finally listens to that advice I kind of want to reward that positive behaviour. Kind of like the way you train a child......or dog, ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good.

However I’m not crazy and I really hate dealing with angry girlfriends so that’s never going to happen, positive reinforcement or not.

When it was clear he wasn’t making any progress in his mission to get in my pants he resulted to calling chicken. Not a smart move. I created that game, remember Chicken Man? I’m the master you don’t want to play that game with me you can’t win.

And he certainly didn’t win. I spent the next 40 minutes just messing with him. I’d charge the topic and wouldn’t answer questions. I just wouldn’t bite. And he was quickly getting frustrated with the whole thing. And I couldn’t stop laughing. You’d think after 10 years he could take a hint but apparently I spent that time getting smarter and he well......didn’t.

It still amazes me just how stupid some men can be; what did he think would happen? I’d fall into bed with him and things would be the same as they use to be? Give me a break, that’s not how the real world works.

And in all honesty given the choice I’d rather spend the evening with my battery operated friend. At least my rabbit has the common decency not to text at 6am.

So I have to ask, what do you think about the idea of rewarding good behaviour? And has an ex ever contracted you after a long period of time and if so, what did they want? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Stop Telling Me What I Feel

I’m so sick of people telling me what I feel, between being told what I feel in matters of the heart and now what I feel physically; I’m about to snap and it’s not going to be pretty.

I’m a blogger and I ask for feedback and I love getting it but sometimes it lands in my inbox at precisely the wrong second and that’s what happened this time.

Jimmy over at Personal Facts, sent me a comment and it had some points and I can see where he’s coming from but because of something totally unrelated I beyond lost my cool. And found myself screaming...

“Will people stop telling how I fucking feel, they’re my feelings. I think if anyone should know how I’m feeling it’s me!”

 I flipped out like a small child and it had next to nothing to do with Jimmy and everything to go with physio #4.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting physio #4 Tuesday morning and let’s just say I should really call her psycho not physio.

I was referred to her by physio #3 because his factuality only does evaluations. I saw him over 4 weeks and over that time he sorted out a treatment plan and he seemed to really understand what was happening with my back.

Then I meet with physio #4 and well she didn’t. Instead of doing the normal first time visit stuff she seemed to already have her mind made up on what she was going to do and it wasn’t the plan #3 had laid out. 

She basically said I was fine and it’s all my head, so instead of doing what #3 said, she wanted me to come in 3 days a week and work with the occupational therapy team to build my strength back up.

Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I understand that pain can be partly metal but there is no way the amount of pain I’m in is in my head. There are days I’m in so much pain I physically throw up, that isn’t in my head. Plus I wouldn’t put myself through the pills and side effects. Hell I’m scared of hospitals I wouldn’t even go to the appointments if I didn’t think it would help.

The biggest proof that #4 is just an idiot is the fact #2 and #3 both said there is something not right with my back. They could feel something was off; they just couldn’t work out what it was. #3 actually used the words “it’s not in your head, something isn’t quite right.” The only reason #2 passed me on was because he wanted to rule out spinal problems because he noticed my spine was a little on the straight side. All things #4 would have worked out for herself is she had bothered to lay a hand on me.

Everything she said was so out of line with what pain management, spinal, #2, #3 and even what my GP has said. I was furious. Who the hell is she to tell me what I feel? It’s my fucking body; I know when something isn’t right. Don’t sit there and tell me I’m crazy, when you’re the one whose opinions don’t line up.

The whole thing had me stressed out because clearly I’m not going to be seeing her again, so I’m a person in pain without a plan or any idea what to do next. I have to give some love to NTB I was stressed for days and he sent me a short message and my tears stopped and I wasn’t nearly as stressed anymore. He’s such a star.

As you can imagine after dealing with #4 telling me I was crazy and that despite being in pain I wasn’t actually in any, Jimmy telling me how I felt about dipshit was; not so much the straw but more like the feather that broke the camel’s back. And I had a wee melt down and put a pretty hole in my door with my now very sore foot.

I’m not sure I was justified but it made me feel much better. We all have those moments we’re not proud of but damn they felt good at the time. The hole in my door was definitely on of those.

What temper tantrum moments have you had, that may have been silly in hindsight but at the time felt heavenly? Let me know in the comment box below (and I promise no melt downs when I read them this time).

I’m just trying to putting the whole thing out of my mind and am focusing on the countdown to Canada Day. I’m so excited just hope the weather and my back cooperates. Anyways as always my dears stay safe.

Love,

The Hones Bitch
xoxoxo

When One Cock Closes...

When One Cock Closes Another One Pops Up....

....The title of a blog I probably shouldn't be writing while drunk but I’ve never been one to take the dull way out and since I haven’t been able to write this sober, drunk is clearly the way forward.

Here’s how the story goes.

I was feeling very guilty about not putting up more of a fight when I warned NTB about this girl he was into. I’m calling her Ms. Train-Wreck. I knew she was trouble but I just wanted him to be happy. Little did I know she’d turn out to be Mr. X in drag. So now NTB is where I was 2 years ago and I feel horrible about it.

Well I was busy feeling bad about that, Mr. X sideswiped me with the news he has a girlfriend. I’m not stupid, I’m aware we both date but we don’t normally tell each other about it. So the news shocked me. It was really odd though, I didn’t cry or turn to my BBF in these situations (a very large bottle of tequila), I just went for a long walk and that was it.

There was one unforeseen problem though; I haven’t been able to string two words together since. Hence the drunken blogging, well that and it’s international drink something green day. Mojito is my green weapon of choice.

I’ve spent the afternoon/evening watching rugby and drinking with a bunch of my guy friends and now I’m home drinking more Mojitos (only 5 or 6) in bed and watching my sex and the city box-set. And I’ll tell you what, it feels damn good to let lose.

Anyways back to the story, after my long walk I came home to find a message on my twitter account from the evil monkey. It was such a sweet message and very well timed I could help but smile.

Then just as I was crawling into bed I noticed I had a Facebook inbox message. Thinking it was my cousin I got up to check it out, it turned out to be a message from a guy I haven’t seen or really spoken to in 2 years. We never dated we just kind of lived in the gray area.

I’m a smart girl, I know what an inbox message means but I needed a picked me up after the sideswiping so I decided to hear his BS out. It was the normal “we should go out sometime”, “I always think about you”, “you’re gorgeous”. I know that’s all code for “I’m horny”. But I needed the boost and it’s not like I was going to sleep with the guy. It was just a pick me up. And pick me up it did.

It was also a much needed reminder that when one cock closes another one pops up :-)

Play safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Teddy Bear with Razorblades

I was chatting with NTB the other night and while he was catching me up on all his gossip he brought up a blog I wrote about how women want what they can’t have. He said if that’s true he’s screwed because he won’t play those games.

In his case I don’t think he should play those games. His strength and appeal is that he doesn’t do that stuff. He’s a straight shooting guy who won’t mess you around. There a lot of girls who would appreciate that. However there are a lot of girls who that kindness is wasted on and will take advantage of it. Luckily he’s a smart guy so I’m not overly worried about that. Although there is one girl I’d like to punch on his behalf. He just needs to patient and someone will come along for him. Someone who will see him as the teddy bear he is and not a doormat.

Mr. X on the other hand is a teddy bear full of razorblades, cute and cuddly but also sharp and deadly. But what he does so well and that I wish NTB would take note of is he plays to his strength. He knows he’s an ass but he owns it.

We were debating my sports knowledge last night, and by debating I mean he was ranting at me. After he said his piece I jokingly called him an ass and his comeback was “well I am Mr. X after all”.  There’s nothing you can say to that because he’s already owned it.

Don’t get me wrong he does show some NTB style flashes of sweetness but he likes to down play those. He knows his strengths and what works for him and he’s plays to it and if people don’t like it, I can’t be sure but I think he kills them.

I love NTB dearly, he a great friend but I wish he would take a little of Mr. X’s Oscar the grouch attitude and mould it into a firmer hand. Just a little hint of that don't fuck with me attitude would go a long way in keeping some chicks in check.

So my question to you is, if you’re a girl have you ever used or played a nice girl and if you’re a guy, have you ever been played by a girl?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Red vs Blue

My brain is currently locked in a battle over two competing concepts and there's only one possible way to resolve this dilemma. So...

Standing on my red shoulder standing 5'11" tall representing all things good and honest. The one... The only... NTB

And fighting from my blue shoulder, stand being 6'2" tall, representing all things misleading and game like, Jimmy “The Ego” Jacob

Let's get ready to rumble! Ding, ding, ding

and with the first blow its NTB and his belief that you don't need to play games to be happy in a relationship, quickly followed up by his unwavering belief that a good relationship is based on total honesty.

Landing a shot of his own Jimmy with his belief that guys want what they can't have, followed up by his valid point that social networks turn females crazy.

NTB lands another punch with his point that not playing games makes relationships a lot easier.

Jimmy just misses with his idea that guys hate being compared to anyone. Because we all know guys only hate being compared to people that are better than them.

NTB misses with a punch of his own, the idea that all games are pointless. That is simply untrue. You need some teasing and playing hard to get in a relationship or you’d die of boredom.

But not one to stay down, NTB lands a huge hit with his straightforwardness because we all know men can't read between the lines to save their life.

Not one to be outdone Jimmy fires back with give the guy some space, if he likes you, he'll swallow his pride and make the first move. And he follows that up with a sweet little titbit, if in doubt start dating. Playing on a guy’s built-in jealousy and give him a taste of his own medicine.

In the dying seconds of the last and final round NTB lands a big punch of his own with “treat people how you would want to be treated”.

Ding, ding, ding, this is it, it's all over, it's all comes down to a judge's decision.

Judge 1 gives it to..... Jimmy

Judge 2 gives it to....NTB

And the third and final judge.... Has no freaking clue

While I replay this fight over and over in my head, let me know what you think. Are games in a relationship such a bad thing? Do you need those games to help feel each other out? Or is being totally straightforward from the start the best way to handle things?

Or is purple the answer, a bit from the red shoulder and a bit from the blue?

As always guys, stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Mr. X and NTB

You guys have been asking about Mr. X and NTB a lot lately so I thought I’d take this chance to fill you guys in.

Let start with Mr. X.

I’m over it. It’s no secret we blow hot and cold. Right now it’s my turn to blow cold. I’m not feeling it right now. The challenge was fun at first but its turn into the challenge that never ends. And that's about as appealing as an episode of Lamb Chop’s Play along.  

I’ve moved on, I’m crushing on someone new, someone who is a lot less asshole like. Mr. X is an amazing person don’t get me wrong, I’m just bored of the games and BS.

I think NTB brainwashed me into hating games. Speaking of NTB nothing happened there. He’s just a busy bee right now. He’s trying to become a doctor so there just has been very little time for anyone more fun than a text book.

So in a nutshell I replaced Mr. X with a cuter, younger model and I’m waiting for NTB to become Dr. NTB, no great mystery and last time I checked I didn’t murder them....although that could change.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe and Happy Halloween.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Dating

Every now and then I get the feeling I should start to date again. Then I go on a date and I quickly decide I’d rather die alone.

I stopped dating a while ago because of all the drama and headaches it caused. Let’s just say I haven’t been having the best of luck with British guys. They look all sweet and charming in the movies but let me tell you, in real life a large percentage of them are douche bags.

Not to mention a lot of them are liars too. I don’t have a problem with a purely sexual relationship. If you’re looking for a fuck-friend that’s fine by me, it saves me money on batteries. But be straight about. Don’t wrap you’re horniness up in a lie. Don’t pretend you want more then sex when you don’t. Just don’t be an ass.

NTB has made a big thing out of not playing games and I love him for that. If he has something to say he’ll come right out and say it. He takes all the guess work out of relationships and dating. I personally think there is a time and place for a little toying and flirting but on the whole I wish guys would follow his lead.

That’s kind of why I still keep Mr. X around. I love that he is so straight forward. There is no game play with him. He is what he is, take it or leave it. The difference is Mr. X does it in a jerk way and NTB does it in a way that doesn’t make you want to run him over with your car.....repeatedly.

Saying all that I still continue to flirt with Mr. X. What can I say; some people are just fun to flirt with. It’s not a I want to see him naked thing, it’s more of a he’s cute so why not thing. Flirting is good for you. It’s good for your health and your mood. (That may or may not be a scientific fact.)

I’m sure one day someone will come along who will change my mind on the whole dating thing but right now, I’m not interested. I’d rather have a peacefully life, with no drama.


As always my dears stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn't do.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Guest Post: Summer Love, Life Lessons

(I couldn’t pick a better person to be my first guest blogger. He’s a dear friend of mine and almost as opinionated as I am. As always be sure to leave your comments and feedback I’m sure he’ll appreciate it and so will I.)

Ladies and Gentlemen…ah, who am I kidding, ladies and ladies because if you read this blog and you’re a guy you’re likely to feel your testicles slowly falling off…trust me on that…don’t ask how I know. Anyway, this blog is usually dedicated to relationships and real encounters from a real person. These stories by THB are real and can happen in the real world. I can’t say I’m entirely saddened by her unfortunate relationship past because it led her to be who she is today; honest and open, which means if I have doubts about a certain topic in my relationship, she’ll tell me what’s up. She’s a great friend too. But most often in this blog we hear about and talk about how we suffer from the negative, relationships ending, relationships not starting, relationships going in the wrong direction and the dreaded “friend zone”. I am the most loathed “NTB” that THB talks about from time to time. I believe that romance isn’t dead and I am often referred to as the nice guy or the sweet guy. Don’t all get sick at once, I have a dark side too but underneath all the layers I usually care about people in general, and I find myself going the extra mile for people all the time. I don’t let myself get taken advantage of but I do believe that you have to risk a little to get anything in this world, but this is a false start, past the point of no return. To truly understand why I am writing this blog you need to hear it from the beginning, so here goes:

This summer started like any other, as per usual I finished up my university workload and I was ready to find a job and spend some time working out and relaxing. See…the problem with me is that my previous relationship ended very badly and killed, or at least I thought it killed a side of me, the sweet side that cares about people, the side that comforts them. Don’t get me wrong, I was still nice and I cared about my friends but I was beyond the whole “I want to impress this girl” phase…or so I thought. After 2 months of working at my new job, a girl transferred to the coffee shop in my neighbourhood and my god…was she the cutest thing ever. Despite having the cutest smile and biggest most beautiful eyes you could imagine, she was more than just someone who looked good, after talking I found that we had a lot in common, love of all meat pizza (big time points :-)), good movies and a troubled relationship past. Now I would like to point out that troubled relationship pasts are not for the weak of heart, if you are going to try to get a girl who doesn’t want anything to do with guys to trust you, you will have an uphill battle in front of you, I promise. So, on my way out with my friends some night, I noticed that she was working the overnight shift, so my friends and I went clubbing for a bit and then, after being stone cold fucking sober we decided that dancing with chicks downtown was not as much fun as it could have been…well, what do you expect morons, it’s fucking Tuesday! Anyway after all this had been done I suggested that we drive back to my work and we go see the girl I, at this point, had a bit of a crush on. Now they didn’t want to take a trip back to where we just came so I promised them I would give her my number before we left. I stopped into the coffee shop, ordered my two wingmen something and ordered a double cupped coffee for myself. Immediately I needed help…no pen…fuck, plan A is dying. (Don’t worry plan A works after so no need for me to list plans A-S23 for you…yeah, I over prepare…wanna fight about it?) Anyway, I needed a pen, one of my wingmen asked her (the girl I like) for a pen so that I might write my name and number for her. On the bottom of the second coffee cup I put my name and number and while on the way out I gave it to her and I said “this is my name and number, if you want to use it, great, if not, no hard feelings, ok?”. After all, we did work in the same neighbourhood and I didn’t want things to be odd for her because I do stop in on a semi-regular basis. She gave a smile and I’m sure she was a little caught off guard. Now, I don’t know what you all will think of this, whether you would text an odd looking blonde dude dressed in all black after he gave you his number on the bottom of a coffee cup but SHE did text me. We’ve been talking pretty much ever since and we’ve been having a good time. Around 2-3 weeks of getting to know her I knew I was in trouble. See, the problem is that I don’t make connections with females easily, I generally have a more mature sense of humour and don’t like when girls don’t get me or can’t laugh at the same things. It won’t offend me but when I am living my life I generally get down sometimes and I just need someone who can say one thing to make me laugh and the day will be, not necessarily better, but liveable again. But if you don’t get me, you’ll never say the right thing. This is purely a me thing, I don’t suggest asking for someone who understands you and will know how to cheer you up because you’ll be single for as long as I have been *checks calendar* …yep…too long. I’ve had my opportunities with girls, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t believe in bullshit, if you can’t make a relationship…what’s the point? I don’t play games and I don’t like being played…at all…I personally think it’s very cruel to play with someone who just admitted they like you. Especially when it’s as hard to do as it was for me. Admitting you’re nuts about a girl is hard, to say the least, telling them is another feat entirely, but as I’m sure you’re beginning to tell, I am not faint of heart, so of course the second I knew that I was falling for her a little, I told her.

This is where things get hard for me, its not that she wasn’t into me, but that she had been hurt before…a lot, her first serious boyfriend didn’t treat her well and was throwing out years of commitment. She was broken, but that’s ok, I can redeem a guy or two… I think, or at least for her…I’ll try. We hang out for a bit and she seems kinda lukewarm to me, nothing amazing going on with her side of the table, I don’t blame her, I’m not really all that amazing when I’m tired and just finished a shift at work and hungover but we keep talking. I bring her treats at work after my shift and run down to see her to keep her company for a bit and then run home, if she says she’s hungry, I’ll bring her food, if she says she feels sick I’ll nurse her back to health as much as I can. I’d do anything for this girl. As you may realize, and I didn’t, the part of me that cares about someone more than I normally do and tries to comfort them (the really nice side of me)…is alive and well at this point and SHE revived it. I hate that side of me because now I’m stuck, I’m stuck wanting her to like me and she is still just either beginning to trust me or likes me but not enough to be more than friends. I don’t know, she’s really careful not to hurt my feelings, she fired a “we’re just friends” out and saw the crushed look on my face and then felt the need to tell me that I was the first person who’s number she had gotten that she actually used, or that before I came along she wasn’t interested in guys at all after her previous boyfriend. I guess now I hit the point where I was sick of the puzzles, the games and trying to figure her out. It was interesting but I had far too much invested (and that’s my own fault). I needed to know something. I recently took her to a party and nothing really happened. See, the thing is ladies and gents (see, I just did it for equality) you can’t just play around, at some point things need to fall away and you need to let someone in and tell them, at least a little, how you feel. This point hasn’t happened and it’s been more than a month. I’m not saying I’m impatient, I’m just saying that it seems more and more that she’s trying to keep me at arms length and only might pull me in.

This is the dreaded “friend zone”. This is what happens when you become too nice and let them value who you are. They become comfortable with you and you get stuck here, they want nothing more than that. A lot of people look at this as a “death sentence” to a relationship or the potential of one…it is. However, even though I am stuck, there is the hope of moving out of the friend zone, I’ve seen it happen, though it is rare. But, when you don’t make many connections with girls and you find something you’ve been waiting for after such a long time you’re willing to do a lot for the possibility of having something really special. But in my case, again being brave and hoping to not here the “let’s just be friends” phrase that haunts my dreams, I said to her “Listen, if you wanted to be just friends, I would understand, I know that people sometimes turn their backs on other people when they say that but …I just really want you to be happy, I like you enough that I would let you go if that’s what you really wanted and I’d still be there for you after.” She told me that she respected me and that she “doesn’t know yet”. This, my friends…is supposed to be a good sign… Whatever, I’m spinning the wheels a bit here. I gave her an out and she didn’t take it. Anyway, moving forward, I have known her for a month and a bit, I’m crazy about her, I think about her all the time and she very clearly doesn’t have the same interest level, now that’s not to say she’s not interested at all, we hang out and have fun and flirt, she has said I’m sweet and she has shown that she cares about me but she sometimes tries to hide that she cares about me and usually tries to make her interest seem that of just slightly more than that of a basic friend, but I forgive her that as I know that its hard to trust people when your last serious relationship was a massive blow up and you really don’t want anything to do with guys for a while, not to mention that I’ve only known her for a month and a bit. I guess the difference is that I know that I want her; I know we’d be great together, but I don’t think she’s as optimistic.

This is the conclusion and while it I have already stated that it is the conclusion, it is also the end. I don’t play games and I don’t want to, and keeping me at arms length is not doing me any favours, I give and give and it seems all very one sided. Now, don’t blame her, she doesn’t ask for anything, I just listen and hear things she wants and act based on what I know. Yes, I am the nice guy but maybe she doesn’t want the nice guy, or any guy, or maybe she wants a guy, maybe a nice one, but not me in particular. That’s fine. The reason I say that this is fine is because I am sick of the people who feel they need to protect themselves, who feel that they need to test and hide. This summer, I took a risk on a beautiful, amazing, intelligent girl. I can safely say that she’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I really want to be more than I am to her, sadly, I don’t think I will be, but I have been wrong before. I sit here, defeated, out of ideas, down, but I’m not out! Until she tells me that she doesn’t want me as anything more than a friend, I will keep trying, it might hurt me in the end but she’s worth the effort. And the pain you ask? Well, let me reference the beginning: you can’t get anything in this world without risking something. You will not have a successful relationship without risking your feelings, you won’t get the your desired job if you don’t apply for fear of rejection and you won’t ever know if something could develop between you and the cute girl at the coffee shop unless you give her your number. So, to all the THB lovers and readers, though we may have all of the hurt and baggage of relationships passed sitting on our shoulders and the “lessons” of the past in our heads. I ask not that you denounce your experience, as the lesson of not going for a “boob grab” on the first date is an actual pure gold lesson that I think should be taught in primary school. I merely ask that you lower your protection, we’ve all been hurt before but you can’t just shut down, you need to love with all of your heart, put something of yourself into the things you do for a someone special, don’t worry about rejection and the agony so much, because at the end of the day the effort that you put in might have been rejected but it might have meant a lot to that someone special. For you sports fans, Babe Ruth was the leader of the league in homeruns but he was also the leader in strikeouts, the lesson? Keep swinging and swinging hard, you’ll hit one eventually.

Never, EVER, give up on something you like or love until its gone for sure because you’ll never forgive yourself for not fighting, for not trying. But you can forgive yourself for failing. If you gave everything you could, you’ll have nothing to be ashamed of. I won’t sugar coat it, relationships hurt, they’re hard and they can end badly…this is beginning to sound a lot like sex…but remember that they can also change your life, they can make you happier than you were and they can make see a side of yourself that you thought dead and gone (see entire article). So, I thought to myself, even though I have failed I think people should see that its not all about the end result, in fact, you’ll find relationships are about the journey, and someone who is truly worth it, will make the journey worthwhile. Remember, however, that journey’s are long, sometimes painful and sometimes end suddenly…here we go with sounding like sex again. So, finally, my tail end advice, if you skipped the whole article to get here this is really all you need…sorry to all of you who read my story :-). Don’t be reckless with people’s hearts and don’t put up with those that are reckless with yours, love like haven’t been hurt, hold people you care about close because all relationships need maintenance at some point. Finally, even though we talk snide about our previous relationships, don’t let the negative emotions fill you with the ideas and pessimism that things will never work. I am writing this after failing and I know that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of, I treated that girl well and yeah, it probably won’t work out but at the very least I met someone amazing that restored my faith that I can fall for someone again and yes, I am hurt but the journey was worth it.