The Straw That Broke the Olive Branch

A few days ago I was going through some email and decided to take a little break from the hate. I realized during that break I hadn't spoke to Evil Monkey in about a month. Thinking he may get a kicked out of some of my hate mail I decided to extend the olive branch and send him a message.  

I kind of figured his silence was because of a girl and his first message (“The issue is that you may have to fight another girl for me!”) confirmed that.

My first thought was “cute, he thinks I’m going to risk a broken nail for him”. I decided to keep my bitch side in check and do the polite thing and ask about his new girl. Instead of a nice conversation a game of dodge-ball ensued.

When I first asked he send me this message.

Evil Monkey: “Oh haha, I sent that to the wrong person”

Seeing as it fit the conversation perfectly, my bullshit detector went off and I wasn’t buying it. I then got.

Evil Monkey: “Haha what brings this up?”

I’m either dealing with an idiot or someone is dodging my questions. Since clearly he brought it up.

Evil Monkey: “I’ll give you a clue she’s female.”

At this point I crossed the line from irritated to pissed off. Then he sent this.

Evil Monkey: “What are you looking for?”

Well I can tell you what I’m not looking for, a game of dodge ball. I was looking for gossip. What else would I be looking for?

Evil Monkey “lol not what I expected”

That was the last message he sent before he vanished again leaving me to irritated and with my next blog.

What really pisses me off is the whole thing could have been avoided with a straight answer. I’m not a cop; I wasn’t asking if he murdered anyone. All I did was ask about a girl he brought up.

If for whatever reason he didn’t want to talk about it all he had to do was say “I don’t want to talk about it.” But instead he decided to play games.

I respect straight shooters and people like this are the catalyst for murder. It’s infuriating and I‘d know as a customer service rep I was trained in the question dodge. That’s also the reason I can tell you to fuck off in 4 different languages.

I know what I would have done in his place, but what would you have done? Tell me straight or play a game of dodge ball? And more importantly why do guys play these BS games?

As always my dears stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

When One Cock Closes...

When One Cock Closes Another One Pops Up....

....The title of a blog I probably shouldn't be writing while drunk but I’ve never been one to take the dull way out and since I haven’t been able to write this sober, drunk is clearly the way forward.

Here’s how the story goes.

I was feeling very guilty about not putting up more of a fight when I warned NTB about this girl he was into. I’m calling her Ms. Train-Wreck. I knew she was trouble but I just wanted him to be happy. Little did I know she’d turn out to be Mr. X in drag. So now NTB is where I was 2 years ago and I feel horrible about it.

Well I was busy feeling bad about that, Mr. X sideswiped me with the news he has a girlfriend. I’m not stupid, I’m aware we both date but we don’t normally tell each other about it. So the news shocked me. It was really odd though, I didn’t cry or turn to my BBF in these situations (a very large bottle of tequila), I just went for a long walk and that was it.

There was one unforeseen problem though; I haven’t been able to string two words together since. Hence the drunken blogging, well that and it’s international drink something green day. Mojito is my green weapon of choice.

I’ve spent the afternoon/evening watching rugby and drinking with a bunch of my guy friends and now I’m home drinking more Mojitos (only 5 or 6) in bed and watching my sex and the city box-set. And I’ll tell you what, it feels damn good to let lose.

Anyways back to the story, after my long walk I came home to find a message on my twitter account from the evil monkey. It was such a sweet message and very well timed I could help but smile.

Then just as I was crawling into bed I noticed I had a Facebook inbox message. Thinking it was my cousin I got up to check it out, it turned out to be a message from a guy I haven’t seen or really spoken to in 2 years. We never dated we just kind of lived in the gray area.

I’m a smart girl, I know what an inbox message means but I needed a picked me up after the sideswiping so I decided to hear his BS out. It was the normal “we should go out sometime”, “I always think about you”, “you’re gorgeous”. I know that’s all code for “I’m horny”. But I needed the boost and it’s not like I was going to sleep with the guy. It was just a pick me up. And pick me up it did.

It was also a much needed reminder that when one cock closes another one pops up :-)

Play safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Misplaced Anger

I guess I should start by saying sorry to Jimmy. I was upset the other day and despite the fact I wasn't aiming my anger at him he felt the outer edges of my anger bubble I'm sorry for that.

He's a good resource to have because he's a reformed fuck-wit. He's a fountain of knowledge in the inner workings of the twisted male brain.

And by fuck-wit I mean the Bridget Jones definition, self-cantered, insensitive, game playing and otherwise uncaring prick.

What happened is I was mad at Jon or as he will now be known evil monkey and instead of admitting I was angry to him I vented at Jimmy. I don't think he enjoyed that very much....oppps

Then he told me I was kind of to blame because I didn't use the words “I am mad “so how was evil monkey to now. After that bit of advice I stop asking Jimmy what he thought because I no longer liked his answers.

Am I the only person who does that? Why should I admit I'm mad, when it's obvious I'm mad?

Evil monkey and I managed to sort everything out in the end. After I finally gave in and admitted I was angry. People shouldn’t get used to that though, it may never happen again.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo