Friday 29 June 2012

Stop Telling Me What I Feel

I’m so sick of people telling me what I feel, between being told what I feel in matters of the heart and now what I feel physically; I’m about to snap and it’s not going to be pretty.

I’m a blogger and I ask for feedback and I love getting it but sometimes it lands in my inbox at precisely the wrong second and that’s what happened this time.

Jimmy over at Personal Facts, sent me a comment and it had some points and I can see where he’s coming from but because of something totally unrelated I beyond lost my cool. And found myself screaming...

“Will people stop telling how I fucking feel, they’re my feelings. I think if anyone should know how I’m feeling it’s me!”

 I flipped out like a small child and it had next to nothing to do with Jimmy and everything to go with physio #4.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting physio #4 Tuesday morning and let’s just say I should really call her psycho not physio.

I was referred to her by physio #3 because his factuality only does evaluations. I saw him over 4 weeks and over that time he sorted out a treatment plan and he seemed to really understand what was happening with my back.

Then I meet with physio #4 and well she didn’t. Instead of doing the normal first time visit stuff she seemed to already have her mind made up on what she was going to do and it wasn’t the plan #3 had laid out. 

She basically said I was fine and it’s all my head, so instead of doing what #3 said, she wanted me to come in 3 days a week and work with the occupational therapy team to build my strength back up.

Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I understand that pain can be partly metal but there is no way the amount of pain I’m in is in my head. There are days I’m in so much pain I physically throw up, that isn’t in my head. Plus I wouldn’t put myself through the pills and side effects. Hell I’m scared of hospitals I wouldn’t even go to the appointments if I didn’t think it would help.

The biggest proof that #4 is just an idiot is the fact #2 and #3 both said there is something not right with my back. They could feel something was off; they just couldn’t work out what it was. #3 actually used the words “it’s not in your head, something isn’t quite right.” The only reason #2 passed me on was because he wanted to rule out spinal problems because he noticed my spine was a little on the straight side. All things #4 would have worked out for herself is she had bothered to lay a hand on me.

Everything she said was so out of line with what pain management, spinal, #2, #3 and even what my GP has said. I was furious. Who the hell is she to tell me what I feel? It’s my fucking body; I know when something isn’t right. Don’t sit there and tell me I’m crazy, when you’re the one whose opinions don’t line up.

The whole thing had me stressed out because clearly I’m not going to be seeing her again, so I’m a person in pain without a plan or any idea what to do next. I have to give some love to NTB I was stressed for days and he sent me a short message and my tears stopped and I wasn’t nearly as stressed anymore. He’s such a star.

As you can imagine after dealing with #4 telling me I was crazy and that despite being in pain I wasn’t actually in any, Jimmy telling me how I felt about dipshit was; not so much the straw but more like the feather that broke the camel’s back. And I had a wee melt down and put a pretty hole in my door with my now very sore foot.

I’m not sure I was justified but it made me feel much better. We all have those moments we’re not proud of but damn they felt good at the time. The hole in my door was definitely on of those.

What temper tantrum moments have you had, that may have been silly in hindsight but at the time felt heavenly? Let me know in the comment box below (and I promise no melt downs when I read them this time).

I’m just trying to putting the whole thing out of my mind and am focusing on the countdown to Canada Day. I’m so excited just hope the weather and my back cooperates. Anyways as always my dears stay safe.


The Hones Bitch


  1. I've got something that will hopefully cheer you up a bit--please visit my latest blog post--I left an award there for you. It's kind of a long post, but you'll see it there at the end. Congrats!

  2. Wow...had no idea I set off a shit storm!

    I'm sorry for making you breakdown--not my intention at all. That comment was supposed to make you feel better about that situation--not worse! I'm also sorry about what you are going through. That has to be tough, but you're a strong lady and I know you will get through it. :)

    Try to stay positive!

    Jimmy xoxo

    1. It's ok I know you didn't, I'm feeling much better after a week off and am much less likely to kick things now lol

  3. I've been reading through your blog for a while and I LOVE it! This is the post I most agree with so far. I have this happen to me all the time. I get migraines a lot, and someone at school once had the nerve to tell me that "You don't have a migraine, you just want attention". Really? Because I'm pretty sure the fact that I'm catatonic would point to me having a migraine.

    I'm a new follower, so if you'd like, check out my blog! It would mean a lot. Thanks! :)

    ~ Gina

  4. Next person who wrongly assumes I'm shy gets a slap. I ain't fucking shy, and I bet they wouldn't say that if I was male...

  5. Well.. I found this blog with a google search "stop telling me how to feel" as I am fed up of a client I have who, I guess I have given extra attention to, and wants to be a friend, in which I now have to back off from her.. plus she keeps on telling me how I feel, in which she is way off.

    I actually treat her for sciatica pain... hence me leaving this comment... have you ever thought of checking out a Bowen therapist, you may find they can help. Just thought I would put it out there.. do some research on Bowen thereapy.

    Good luck.

    1. I've never hear of "Bowen therapy", but I'm going to research it right now thank you so much.

      And I hope things work out with you and the client/friend :-)

  6. After being told for the millionth time, how I think & feel, which then led to them being angry @ me & fighting with me after improperly dictating me!! I am trying SO HARD not to FLIP TF out bc I am so fed up with this shit! So I typed "STOP TELLING ME HOW I FEEL!!" Into google search and BAM - came across your amazing blog & I'm so friggin glad I did, too!! I have dealt with this type of shit from this person for years but it's increased tremendously within the last couple years, I wish so badly that I could figure out a way to get the person tf off & out my ass, especially because they're so so badly wrong. I fear I may be losing my marbles after many years of it, and now more people have jumped on the bandwagon... Even was told that someone close to me [or so I thought anyways] wants to "stomp my ass" because the self-righteous fucker that's been slandering, manipulating & dictating my thoughts, actions, feeling and emotions has been speaking false narratives against me to everyone, ANYONE they can for quite some time now [my guess is to make is more believable] all while I deal with all the abuse from the person & now their ignorant followers, in soo many different ways.. I used to be such a pushover, so patient, so forgiving, so loyal... When I finally lost all my patience for the shit and decided to stand up and defend myself, then suddenly they have new "ammo" to further support their false narratives that I'm a "bitch/psycho/etc". I'm at such a loss for solutions & I'm Mommy to my 7 year old, Zoe... I don't know what to do, I am trying so fucking hard not to give up man but nothing I do matters, just makes everything worse..

    ~Thank you for reading my vent/temper tantrum, I don't have anywhere or anyone to talk to let alone vent~

    1. Vent all you need girl. I completely understand. And whatever you do, don't give up. You got this :)