I am in a weird place right now, and lockdown isn’t helping. I feel fine, but I am not. I am not looking after myself, I am not eating correctly or daily for that matter, I am not showering and doing skincare when I am off work. I am just sleeping or trying to. I am shutting down and while that is helpful a little bit, it’s not healthy long term.
I am really missing Hugh’s stupid face right now. He’s the
level of human I can tolerate. When things were really bad, I was leaning on
our “friend dates” to keep motivated. It was a reason to shower, eat, look
after myself. It was a reward for making it through the week. I haven’t had
that regularly for a while and that shift hasn’t been seamless.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll get there. I will bounce back. I am a stubborn bitch, who cannot and will be kept down. It’s just… not pleasant. And things are ickier than I’d like. I miss the stress melting cuddles. That’s a scientific fact, not me being mushy for the record.
Anyways, my eyes are leaking, and that shit needs to stop. I
am back to the only breaking down in my car and shower rule. Let me know, your
coping mechanisms and thoughts in the comments below. And hopefully next week we
can get back to more juicy and less feelingy posts. As always, stay and play
safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo
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