Friday 1 January 2021

A New Year

 2020 is officially over, and 2021 is here. Traditionally, this is the time of year where a lot of reflection is done. To be honest, I am trying not to do that right now. I am ending 2020 feeling like a complete failure and I don’t know why.

I gave myself grace early on about not achieving the goals I set out this year. It was a pandemic after all. I had reasonable expectations. I am not sure where the sense of failure is rooted or what can be done about it.

I am going into 2021 struggling. I am fighting to stay level-headed right now. Part of me wants to do something stupid, call an ex, sleep with a stranger, do something irresponsible that won’t end well. The other part of me wants to drive my car off the motorway, or the urge tonight was to stop in the middle of the motorway. I can’t really explain it, but that was my thought process. Don’t worry, I would never hurt myself… physically anyway. We all know emotionally screwing myself if much more my style. Place your bets now. My money is on a Mr. X appearance.

I was going to set goals for 2021 like I normally would but, to be honest, I think the only goal is to survive. Fuck thriving, I just want to make it through 2021 in one piece. The bar couldn’t be much lower.

Anyway, I am going to go to bed because hibernation is safe. As always, my dears, stay and play safe. And have a good start to the new year.


The Honest Bitch 

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