Let me start this post by saying I am ok. There was a little concern after my last post, which I completely understand, but there is no need to worry. I may not be in a good place, but I am not in a bad place either.
I am in a
place, where my instinct is to pull away, insolate and take control. Which, if
history is anything to go back, means fall in bed with someone I shouldn’t, maybe
start a relationship with someone who isn’t relationship material. Basically,
do something that will cause me emotional pain, because that’s within my control.
Once again, being a blogger sucks, because I am fully aware of my tendencies and
have a self-understanding, most people don’t have. Doesn’t stop me from being an idiot,
just makes me painfully aware of how stupid I am being.
Which brings me to Hugh, who, I don’t know. The last time I pulled away, he texted me and made plans which was sweet and what I needed, and I instantly felt better. It doesn’t take a lot. This time, I don’t know. I went into this with no walls, and I am starting to retroactively build them. Time will tell how things play out and which side of the wall he ends up on.
Anyways, my
eyes are starting to get watery, so I am going to stop before they leak. As always,
stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo
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