Bye Lawyer Dude

My ongoing tread of dating emotionally unavailable man continues. Lawyer dude and I called things off this evening. He wasn’t ready to date…. Who said history doesn’t repeat itself eh?

It sucks, it hurts, and once again I am left in tears after some guy uses me as a fucking lab rat to test the waters. I’d love to be bitter and angry right now, but I am not. I am just sad.  It hurts, I clearly liked him a lot more than I realized. But whatever, as I have come to accept my feelings are irrelevant. So, suck it up, and move on.

I wish him nothing, but the best. I am sure he’ll find what he’s looking for, it’s just not me. And I am ok with that, I have to be.

I am going to go cry myself to sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Hugh Ruined My Expectations Of Men

I fucking hate Hugh, why did that twat make things so damn easy? Why is he a recent reminder, that dating, and relationship doesn’t need to feel like work? Why, did the emotionally unavailable twat-bag have to be so comforting and basically be a master class in how things should be done? 

…. I mean right up to the breakup and then slowly cutting me out of his life.

Hugh is basically the opposite of Lawyer Dude. Lawyer Dude is selfish. He never asks how I am. He never sends a message first. He gets moody when he deems, I am not there for him, but I spent my birthday alone, in tears with zero concern from him. He’s hard work and seems to be only interested in one thing.

It’s so bad, when I found out about my Stepdad, it was Hugh I wanted to call not him. Actually, he still doesn’t know. He doesn’t ask about me and I’m not about to offer up anything. 

I know I shouldn’t compare, and Hugh has moved on, he recently changed our WhatsApp name, which solidified that.  That door is closed. But, damn universe, you’re bitch sometimes. 

Emotionally stable, respectable career, with goals and his life somewhat together, if that really too much to ask? Because fucking hell, it’s starting to feel like it is. I am all for compromise and all that but settling, not so much.

Anyways, I am off to slowly bang my head against a wall and pray for something to fall into place. As always let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

We Met

I feel like I should have a lot to write, but I really don’t. Lawyer Dude and I finally met up last, week and it was good. He was handsy very quickly, which gave me a flashback to Hugh. But it was good.  I am glad we finally managed to meet up. And we’re still talking so, that’s a plus.

He was a total sweetheart, however a little forward. However, made me feel comfortable. It was a good evening for sure. Just haven’t got my thoughts together yet.

Sorry things post is such nothing post. I am just not with it right now. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

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Will We?

This whole “dating” thing is just a giant headache, and I am very close to being over the whole thing again. My holiday from work is almost over and Lawyer Dude and I still haven’t met. We should have met on the 17^th but allegedly he was under the weather, so we canceled. I am not sure if it was sickness or nervousness, but either way, it did happen.

We have rescheduled, kind of. We had already rescheduled once and that fell through also, so I am not holding my breath on this new date. This one is weird. I am going to go around his after his daughter leaves. So, I’ll be going over at like 9pm. This feels a little seedy, but I want this date out of the way, so I am down.

We’ve been talking since February, and I need to know if this is something or not. I need to thank you next already or move this show along. I am getting impatient in my old age. I hate that this date feels high pressure, but I am sure it’ll be ok. I just need to know.

Anyways, I need to go and have a nap. This holiday life is hard work. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

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Nervous

As things move closer and closer to Lawyer Dude and I finally meeting, the more nervous I get. I am starting to worry we’ve waited too long to meet, and expectations are too high. I don’t wait to disappoint him. And the longer we wait the more my nerves grow.

I am on holiday after my next set of 4, so I expect we will sort something then. Lockdown restrictions also ease so that should make things a lot easier. Although the thought of us meeting has my tummy in knots.

He doesn’t help matters either, rather than trying to be comforting or put my mind at ease he’s reaction to me being nervous has been “suck it up”. Just repeating to me that it’ll be ok. Like, dude, I know it will be ok, but at least try to help matters when I am not feeling my best. But I guess we will see what happens.

Anyways, I am off to get some rest before I head back to work tomorrow. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

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Lawyer Dude Red Flags

I am currently in dating hell. Lawyer Dude both ticks a lot of my boxes and ticks all my red flag, run away now boxes. I didn’t think that was possible, but it’s 2021 bitches and we’ve entered a new level of hell.

Let’s start with the divorce, he got served the papers the other day and he didn’t take it well. Like I get that it’s the end of something, you were together 17 years and it sucks. But if you’re doing to take it that poorly. Maybe don’t date yet. I took time off after Mr. X and it was the smartest thing I ever did. There is no harm or shame in taking time off to regroup. 

The next issue is the child. I have always been against dating someone with a child. I think it would be exceedingly difficult to not have that time being the other person's everything. Not having that foundation, seems like being set up for failure. I am not saying it’s impossible but difficult. And I am too fucking old to want to deal with outside factors.

Like Lawyer Dude doesn’t have me by my name in his phone because of his daughter, he doesn’t want to explain things. Which is cool, I don’t want to be explained. However, I don’t like the fact I need to be hidden.

Speaking of things I dislike, he lied about his age. he's actually 40, not 39.  Which isn't a deal-breaker, but why lie? 

But, like I said, he’s a sweetheart, really caring, funny. Has a good respectable job. For the most part, he has his shit together. But holy red flags Batman.

I don’t know what to do. I am just letting it ride for now and we will see what happens. 

Anyways, I am off to do all those day off things. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

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Not Meeting The Standard

I may have given in and messaged Hugh. I didn’t want to, but he’d been on my mind a lot recently and I just needed to for my own sanity.  It kind of pisses me off, he is still easy to talk to, there is no effort there and that sucks. It’s a reminder of what is possible.

This all comes as Lawyer Dude seems to be fizzling out. He is starting to take effort and I am not ok with that. I want things to flow and feel natural and right now, it doesn’t feel that way at all. And yes, there are a million reasons why, but when I compare it to Hugh, why am I dealing with the million reasons why?

This dude is ruining my dating life. He set a standard without trying and now I am struggling to find anyone who measures up to his standard. Who knew meeting a good guy would cause me all these problems?

Anyways, I am off to tidy up and work on finding a new human to keep me company. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

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Lawyer Dude

I mentioned a few posts ago, I was talking a new guy and I’d fill you in soon. I am still not sure I’ll be keeping with him around, but I figured I may as well fill you in now because if I do get rid of him, I probably won’t want to talk about him.

As I am guessing you have worked out, he is a lawyer, and I will be calling him Lawyer Dude in the blog because…. I am struggling to remember names. He is 39 from Manchester and that’s where the positives stop. Don’t get me wrong, he is lovely and sweet and cute, but not my normal style if you will. He also starts with 2 massive strikes against him. He is divorced and has a child. I am not okay with either of those facts.

Lawyer Dude is a smart decision, he has his shit together. Good job, own place. It’s smart. The cost being an ex-wife and a child. Can I overlook this? I honestly don’t know. And I have decided not to worry about it until we meet in person and see how we click. At that point, I either like him enough to overlook the normal deal-breakers, or I won’t.

This isn’t ideal, at all, but I am in a place where my brain is in a fuck it zone. And smart decisions are better than butterflies. I tried butterflies…. It didn’t work out well.

Anyways, I am off to have a nap. Let me know your thoughts in the comments before. As always, you lovely people, stay and play safe.

 

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

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