Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts

Saturday 26 May 2012


Last night I was in a bit of a playful mood so when I noticed Mr. X had posted an uncharacteristic status I couldn’t help but give him a hard time about it. After a few exchanges in which he didn’t bite back like normal he basically said being in love has changed him. My first reaction was “awwww did the Grinch’s heart grow 3 sizes. You know people die from enlarged hearts every day.” What can I say? Being a bitch and sarcasm kind of go hand in hand.

My next reaction was one of repulsion. I fell in love with his quick-witted, sarcastic, sharp tongue humour. Him turning into a sensitive shell of his former self is (lets go with) unappealing. Whoever he’s dating can have him; I like my men a little less close to metro sexual line.

My exchange with my former kryptonite got me thinking about change and whether changing in a relationship is a positive or negative thing, a sign of growth or maybe one of insecurity.

 We’ve all been there, dating someone, normally someone out of our league, and all of a sudden you’re pretending to like music you’ve always hated just because “it’s his favourite”, watching war films with more blood then acting. We’ve all done it at some point. Dating someone out of our league changing ours selves in an attempt to prevent him from figuring out you’re out of his league.

That’s insecurity for you and it’s definitely not a positive thing.

On the other hand there are relationships that change you, admittedly all mine have been for the worse. But I hear it works the other way too. Relationships that make you want to be a better you. Unlike mine which make me want to become serial killer but I’m sure that’s just me.

Becoming a better person isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually very positive but a fixer upper man isn’t.

That’s what I wonder about how many people actually change within themselves and how many are moulded in a fixer upper project?

When you get in a relationship you’re meant to love the person for who they are and not what you can change them into. Plus you can’t really change anyone; fixer upper changes are most always temporary. They relapse and you’re left frustrated and disappointment, trust me on that one.

This is one of those blogs where I just don’t have an answer or even a clue for that matter. So I guess I’ll leave it in your capable hands. Is changing in a relationship and good or bad thing and why?

As always my dears stay safe and have a great weekend.


The Honest Bitch

Monday 19 March 2012

One Last Lesson

As I sit here on my bed thinking about my reaction or lack of reaction to the whole Mr. X new love thing. It finally hit me, I could lay here and cried all I wanted, but he wouldn’t care, and that’s why I don’t.

I’ve spent so many years chasing the phantom, convincing myself I’ve put too much effort and time in to give up. I think by the end it became more about the thrill of the chase and the need to win more then wanting a relationship or anything like that.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I genuinely love about him. His sense of honour, his wit, the fact his assholedom pushes me and motivates me to do my best. But let’s face fact...I’m not what he wants.

And.....I’m ok with that.

When I really think about it, he isn’t what I want either. I want someone who’ll take me as I am, someone who cares enough to spare my feelings, someone who will be there when I’m upset or hurt. I remember being in hospital, waking up after surgery in the recovery room and asking for him. But even then, deep down I knew he’d never be that guy.

The truly fucked up part of that story is I was deep into a relationship with Chicken Man at the time, who I also didn't see while I was in hospital but I digress.

After everything is said and done, I don’t regret anything and I can honestly say it hasn’t left me bitter. Some guys give you earth shaking orgasms and others just shake you to your core, changing you forever. Since I’m not the same girl I was all those years ago I can safely say he did that.

And as a parting gift he taught me one more very valuable lesson...

....You can’t win them all.

-The Honest Bitch