Last night I was in a bit of a playful mood so when I noticed Mr. X had posted an uncharacteristic status I couldn’t help but give him a hard time about it. After a few exchanges in which he didn’t bite back like normal he basically said being in love has changed him. My first reaction was “awwww did the Grinch’s heart grow 3 sizes. You know people die from enlarged hearts every day.” What can I say? Being a bitch and sarcasm kind of go hand in hand.
My next reaction was one of repulsion. I fell in love with his quick-witted, sarcastic, sharp tongue humour. Him turning into a sensitive shell of his former self is (lets go with) unappealing. Whoever he’s dating can have him; I like my men a little less close to metro sexual line.
My exchange with my former kryptonite got me thinking about change and whether changing in a relationship is a positive or negative thing, a sign of growth or maybe one of insecurity.
We’ve all been there, dating someone, normally someone out of our league, and all of a sudden you’re pretending to like music you’ve always hated just because “it’s his favourite”, watching war films with more blood then acting. We’ve all done it at some point. Dating someone out of our league changing ours selves in an attempt to prevent him from figuring out you’re out of his league.
That’s insecurity for you and it’s definitely not a positive thing.
On the other hand there are relationships that change you, admittedly all mine have been for the worse. But I hear it works the other way too. Relationships that make you want to be a better you. Unlike mine which make me want to become serial killer but I’m sure that’s just me.
Becoming a better person isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually very positive but a fixer upper man isn’t.
That’s what I wonder about how many people actually change within themselves and how many are moulded in a fixer upper project?
When you get in a relationship you’re meant to love the person for who they are and not what you can change them into. Plus you can’t really change anyone; fixer upper changes are most always temporary. They relapse and you’re left frustrated and disappointment, trust me on that one.
This is one of those blogs where I just don’t have an answer or even a clue for that matter. So I guess I’ll leave it in your capable hands. Is changing in a relationship and good or bad thing and why?
As always my dears stay safe and have a great weekend.
The Honest Bitch