Thursday, 3 May 2012

The 90 Day Rule

After reading a friend’s blog (Why You Shouldn’t Impalement the 90 Day Rule) I was left with one thought....People wait 90 days?

In case you’re not familiar with this “rule”, it states that you should never sleep with someone before you’ve been dating them at least 90 days.

My question is, does anyone really do that and if so, are you crazy?

I understand why some people choice to wait and I don’t have a problem with that per se it’s this idea that after 90 days this imaginary timer goes off and your legs magically unlock I have a problem with.

I’ve always believed that the right time to sleep with someone is when it feels right not when the calendar says it’s right. You can just as easily regret sleeping with someone after 90 days as you can after 1. I have no rules when it comes to when I’ll sleep with someone. When it feels right, I just go with it and I regret nothing. I do wish some of them would lose my number though but that’s a topic for another day.

A lot of women feel that if they make their boyfriend wait 90 days he’ll respect her more. I have two things to say about that. One, if you have to withhold sex to gain respect you’re dating a lousy human being. And two, a guy is just as likely to sleep with you and vanish after 90 days as he is after 90 seconds. I can hear you already “No, he’ll be emotionally invested after 90 days.” No he won’t. Men are wired differently just accept you’ll never understand them and move on.

For me sex is a big part of a relationship and 90 days is a lot of time to waste to find out you’re not sexually compatible with someone. If that sexual spark isn’t there you may as well be dating a gay guy. You’d get the same amount of sexual enjoyment and he won’t bitch when you ask him to go shopping with you.

I’ll never understand why some women use their bites as a prize. Sex is meant to be enjoyable. Blowjobs are a prize not sex! Why punish yourself by withholding it? Sex is hot, pleasurable, hell its great exercise the last thing it is, is a chore. Or at least it isn’t a chore until you’re old and married.

Waiting to have sex until you’re ready is the smart thing to do, whether that’s 90 minutes or 90 years, that fine but I don’t believe there should be any hard and fast rule about it. Sex should be enjoyed and fun not a prize to be won.

What do you guys think, how long do you wait before having sex with someone? Let me know in the comment box below. As always my dears play safe.


The Honest Bitch


  1. Yeah, I'm with you. Personally, I'm a fan of the "Think for your fucking self, you retarded piece of shit" school of dating. If you are so brain dead that you have to follow some arbitrary rule without any just cause, you should probably not breed anyway.

    Also, another interesting idea is "don't date a piece of shit and you won't have to worry about this."

  2. If i were to wait three months I would probably put the guy I'm dating in the friend zone. The spark disappears between month one and month two. BUT I think waiting a few weeks is really important. I don't think it's ever the right time to jump in after only knowing him for less than four weeks.

  3. These are amazing rule. its really nice.

  4. i think that the reason people wait for sex is to find out how much the guy really wants it and the point is to make him understand your worth waiting for. Thats the point everyone in today's society is not understanding. Yes sex is enjoyable, everyone can attest to that. It is a known fact that everyone wants what they cant have and making him wait will def make him want you more. By making him wait ( and i mean atleast a year), you will be able to develop a friendship that will be strong enough to allow you guys to know each other so when you do start having sex, the relationship doesnt become intoxicated (or all about feeding sexual desires). :)

  5. Dumb whores wonder why 73% of black women are unmarried.

    1. Fuck you, what's that supposed to mean?


  7. This is really interesting to me. I actually started dating again after my 4 year relationship ended with my babies father. The man i am currently dating is a great guy with great qualities. However, i have decided to wait until i am ready to take that step with him. I did initially tell him jokingly 60 days and i made sure he understood that really it was until i was ready and it could happen at any time. He took it seriusly and has respected my decision.

    I do want to make one point. It is MY body, if i choose not to have sex right away...that's my choice. No sense calling some of us stupid because we decide we want to get to know someone a bit better before jumping in the sack. I agree that waiting will not define a successful relationship and i also agree that he will not love me more or less, he will just be sexually frustrated.

    The funny thing to me is that marriage decades ago was sacred and so was giving yourself physically to someone. And nowadays people don't know how to have boundaries and will power. I KNOW i have a physical connection with the man i am dating and i know sex will be nothing short of amazing (when it does happen)but i am in no rush to add another notch to my belt.

  8. Funny, I've been talking to this guy for some months now. I began talking with him while in a horrible go nowhere relationship. Now that I am out of that relationship, we started taking one another a little more seriously. Jokingly I told him that I am a firm believer of the "90 day rule" and miraculously, he disappeared.
    Now, of course, I wouldn't actually use the 90 day rule against someone that I am emotionally intetested in. I'm no fool, and I can tell what's real and not. But at the same time, the mention, and anticipation on the reaction will surely prove to you, who you are dealing with. Wait a little, but don't scare them away!

  9. Spoken like a true whore. I hope more stupid sluts read your Bs and take it to heart. The world needs more sluts!

  10. Greetings! Did you somehow complete all the options of this website by yourself or you turned to professionals to receive help?

  11. I honestly can say I that the 90 day rule works the guy I'm with now I've known all my life but we started out as friends and as the months progressed we became closer without sex now four months were at the point now where we are passing that sexually boundary but we haven't actually had sex yet n I applaud him for his will power. We have been seeing each other nonstop since we started dating and doing things together makes the urge less intoxicating when your in public. But that doesn't mean he doesn't show he wants it by smacking my behind or groping my boobs in public lol. It makes the wait worth wild and I know the sex will be great cause he doesn't care who's looking when he wants to grab something he does it lol

  12. We are human and as humans we are gonna have sex there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex its a beautiful thing and it is going to happen at some point when you now you know !

  13. Waiting til marriage...I disagree with your approach but I do agree that a man can leave after 90 days same way smh...truth is, he could reject me after marriage...but I know half of all he has is mine LOL...waiting til marriage is the way to me...done it the other way before...smh

  14. Hmm... This is something I have wondered about all my life... as a guy I often thought that having to wait was helpful in creating respect and trust... as a guy I can tell once the lower "head" takes over we would do anything, to get in there so to speak...being forced to wait, personally I think makes you think, allows feelings to blossom... many things..Let me put it another way. If a woman requires that (it is her right) who am i to say otherwise? If I really, really want her I will wait...and this WILL give time for a relationship to blossom or fail (probably for the best...) I like sex too, but personally I believe it is something not to be wasted on ephemeral relationships..this is my personal relationship. I am not really experienced, I ve never had a one night stand. I have had 3 long relationships. In the first one i did have to wait 90 days. It lasted 19 years... My second I had to wait a couple of weeks. it lasted 6 years. And my third? I had to wait (for various reasons, not some rule) 10 months! There was much more than a spark from day one, in fact we were and are more like a forest fire...almost two years on... So I think allowing some time is not a bad thing...

  15. very interesting topic so far. Ive had FWBs that were mutual and upfront from the start, but now Im wanting a lasting relationship. I havent truly dated in years so Im out of the current loop. I know that I will wait at least a month (or maybe 3) before I allow myself to sleep with anyone, but my question is this: If I want the guy to know Im worth the wait, but what if Id like to fool around a little bit and test the waters during the dating period? how far is too far before I become a tease or give him the dreaded "blue balls"? first base, second base, etc? From the guys perspective, is it ok to kiss/make out on the first date?

  16. As a man reading this, I must say that I've lost interest in women because of this rule. Sex isn't everything, but why wait if you already have it set in your mind that you want to have sex with someone?

  17. I just tried this, it didn't work. I had a man hater girlfriend. Too many issues. Wait, women can always find something wrong. Get it as soon as you can. Makes things better. Spending a lot of money and not getting a return. How stupid was I. She ended up meeting some other guy, think he'll wait. I don't think so. Never date anyone with this rule.