NTB Update

Since NTB's guest post a couple weeks ago you’ve been asking for an update on him and his love interest. I spoke to him last week and he’s given me the ok to fill you guys in on what’s been happening. He’d also like me to thank you guys for your support and comments, they really helped him.

He spoke her not along after he wrote the blog and that went.....well it could have gone better. She tossed out some words, like clingy and too old. That caused me to roll my eyes, because there is only 3 years between them. He also mentioned to me he thinks she may be crushing on someone else.

After that conversation he rightfully decided to her some space and let things cool off before finding out where he truly stands with her.

He went to see her at work a couple days ago; he only managed to have a partial conversation with her because she wanted him to leave before her "friend" came back. From what he said there were some good signs though. She gave him a massive hug and seemed really happy to see him.

His plan was to say sorry for coming across clingy and acting like they were in a relationship she didn’t want. I’m not too sure how much of that conversation he actually manage to have with her though.

The night he went to talk to her I waited up to make sure he was ok. He’s a good friend and plus you guys would kill me if I didn’t. He said something about a ring pointing the wrong way so she’s off the market. Which even now, sitting here typing this sounds crazy.

He’s decided to take some of your advice and back off and give her space. If she has feeling for him, which she does, hopefully she’ll come to him. My fingers are crossed for him, and not just because it would shut you guys up about us getting together. He deserves to be in a happy relationship.

In the meantime his eye is on a customer from work. I don’t know much about her but from what he’s said she’s a pretty girl with a gorgeous smile. I love his back bounciness and the fact most of us would be a little bitter after the summer he had but instead he’s just happy if she’s happy. We could all learn something from him.

His movie like romance may not be my cup of tea but I’m sure this knight in shining armour will find his princess. He’s just too good to remain single for long.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Uncomfortable Question

One of my readers asked me a very interesting question. I love you guys for always asking the hard questions and giving me your honest comments but this one caught me off guard and left me speechless.

The question was “If Mr. X showed up at your door, despite your limited time together and limited activity together, got down on one knee and asked you to marry him, what would you say?”

I sent an email back with, I’ll admit it, a copout answer, saying “If he showed up at my door I’d have a heart attack because he doesn’t know where I live.”

When someone asks you a question normally you can open your mouth and a reply falls out. In this case I opened my mouth nothing not even a sounds came out. I’m not someone who is normally short on words so that was...new.

My belief is when your gut reaction and your brain disagree everything goes blank to stop you making a fool of yourself. I’m not sure what part on me had what reaction because when I try to think about this question all I hear is “la la la I’m not listening, go away, I can’t hear you.”

Bearing in mind Mr. X is more likely to murder me then marry me I will try and answer the question as do I do all messages and emails I get (Ms.HonestB@gmail.com). I’m pretty sure I’d answer with a really confused look on my face and the maybe touch the ground to see if hell had indeed frozen over. Maybe request he took a drug test.

All joking aside I don’t know what I’d say to him. I probably stand there for a really long time then start to laugh for no good reason then the change the topic. Joking is how I get out of all sorts of uncomfortable situations. How do you guys get out of uncomfortable situations?

Anyways my dears I’m heading off the night.  As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

PS for those of you who are asking I’ll post a update on NTB this week

Guest Post: Summer Love, Life Lessons

(I couldn’t pick a better person to be my first guest blogger. He’s a dear friend of mine and almost as opinionated as I am. As always be sure to leave your comments and feedback I’m sure he’ll appreciate it and so will I.)

Ladies and Gentlemen…ah, who am I kidding, ladies and ladies because if you read this blog and you’re a guy you’re likely to feel your testicles slowly falling off…trust me on that…don’t ask how I know. Anyway, this blog is usually dedicated to relationships and real encounters from a real person. These stories by THB are real and can happen in the real world. I can’t say I’m entirely saddened by her unfortunate relationship past because it led her to be who she is today; honest and open, which means if I have doubts about a certain topic in my relationship, she’ll tell me what’s up. She’s a great friend too. But most often in this blog we hear about and talk about how we suffer from the negative, relationships ending, relationships not starting, relationships going in the wrong direction and the dreaded “friend zone”. I am the most loathed “NTB” that THB talks about from time to time. I believe that romance isn’t dead and I am often referred to as the nice guy or the sweet guy. Don’t all get sick at once, I have a dark side too but underneath all the layers I usually care about people in general, and I find myself going the extra mile for people all the time. I don’t let myself get taken advantage of but I do believe that you have to risk a little to get anything in this world, but this is a false start, past the point of no return. To truly understand why I am writing this blog you need to hear it from the beginning, so here goes:

This summer started like any other, as per usual I finished up my university workload and I was ready to find a job and spend some time working out and relaxing. See…the problem with me is that my previous relationship ended very badly and killed, or at least I thought it killed a side of me, the sweet side that cares about people, the side that comforts them. Don’t get me wrong, I was still nice and I cared about my friends but I was beyond the whole “I want to impress this girl” phase…or so I thought. After 2 months of working at my new job, a girl transferred to the coffee shop in my neighbourhood and my god…was she the cutest thing ever. Despite having the cutest smile and biggest most beautiful eyes you could imagine, she was more than just someone who looked good, after talking I found that we had a lot in common, love of all meat pizza (big time points :-)), good movies and a troubled relationship past. Now I would like to point out that troubled relationship pasts are not for the weak of heart, if you are going to try to get a girl who doesn’t want anything to do with guys to trust you, you will have an uphill battle in front of you, I promise. So, on my way out with my friends some night, I noticed that she was working the overnight shift, so my friends and I went clubbing for a bit and then, after being stone cold fucking sober we decided that dancing with chicks downtown was not as much fun as it could have been…well, what do you expect morons, it’s fucking Tuesday! Anyway after all this had been done I suggested that we drive back to my work and we go see the girl I, at this point, had a bit of a crush on. Now they didn’t want to take a trip back to where we just came so I promised them I would give her my number before we left. I stopped into the coffee shop, ordered my two wingmen something and ordered a double cupped coffee for myself. Immediately I needed help…no pen…fuck, plan A is dying. (Don’t worry plan A works after so no need for me to list plans A-S23 for you…yeah, I over prepare…wanna fight about it?) Anyway, I needed a pen, one of my wingmen asked her (the girl I like) for a pen so that I might write my name and number for her. On the bottom of the second coffee cup I put my name and number and while on the way out I gave it to her and I said “this is my name and number, if you want to use it, great, if not, no hard feelings, ok?”. After all, we did work in the same neighbourhood and I didn’t want things to be odd for her because I do stop in on a semi-regular basis. She gave a smile and I’m sure she was a little caught off guard. Now, I don’t know what you all will think of this, whether you would text an odd looking blonde dude dressed in all black after he gave you his number on the bottom of a coffee cup but SHE did text me. We’ve been talking pretty much ever since and we’ve been having a good time. Around 2-3 weeks of getting to know her I knew I was in trouble. See, the problem is that I don’t make connections with females easily, I generally have a more mature sense of humour and don’t like when girls don’t get me or can’t laugh at the same things. It won’t offend me but when I am living my life I generally get down sometimes and I just need someone who can say one thing to make me laugh and the day will be, not necessarily better, but liveable again. But if you don’t get me, you’ll never say the right thing. This is purely a me thing, I don’t suggest asking for someone who understands you and will know how to cheer you up because you’ll be single for as long as I have been *checks calendar* …yep…too long. I’ve had my opportunities with girls, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t believe in bullshit, if you can’t make a relationship…what’s the point? I don’t play games and I don’t like being played…at all…I personally think it’s very cruel to play with someone who just admitted they like you. Especially when it’s as hard to do as it was for me. Admitting you’re nuts about a girl is hard, to say the least, telling them is another feat entirely, but as I’m sure you’re beginning to tell, I am not faint of heart, so of course the second I knew that I was falling for her a little, I told her.

This is where things get hard for me, its not that she wasn’t into me, but that she had been hurt before…a lot, her first serious boyfriend didn’t treat her well and was throwing out years of commitment. She was broken, but that’s ok, I can redeem a guy or two… I think, or at least for her…I’ll try. We hang out for a bit and she seems kinda lukewarm to me, nothing amazing going on with her side of the table, I don’t blame her, I’m not really all that amazing when I’m tired and just finished a shift at work and hungover but we keep talking. I bring her treats at work after my shift and run down to see her to keep her company for a bit and then run home, if she says she’s hungry, I’ll bring her food, if she says she feels sick I’ll nurse her back to health as much as I can. I’d do anything for this girl. As you may realize, and I didn’t, the part of me that cares about someone more than I normally do and tries to comfort them (the really nice side of me)…is alive and well at this point and SHE revived it. I hate that side of me because now I’m stuck, I’m stuck wanting her to like me and she is still just either beginning to trust me or likes me but not enough to be more than friends. I don’t know, she’s really careful not to hurt my feelings, she fired a “we’re just friends” out and saw the crushed look on my face and then felt the need to tell me that I was the first person who’s number she had gotten that she actually used, or that before I came along she wasn’t interested in guys at all after her previous boyfriend. I guess now I hit the point where I was sick of the puzzles, the games and trying to figure her out. It was interesting but I had far too much invested (and that’s my own fault). I needed to know something. I recently took her to a party and nothing really happened. See, the thing is ladies and gents (see, I just did it for equality) you can’t just play around, at some point things need to fall away and you need to let someone in and tell them, at least a little, how you feel. This point hasn’t happened and it’s been more than a month. I’m not saying I’m impatient, I’m just saying that it seems more and more that she’s trying to keep me at arms length and only might pull me in.

This is the dreaded “friend zone”. This is what happens when you become too nice and let them value who you are. They become comfortable with you and you get stuck here, they want nothing more than that. A lot of people look at this as a “death sentence” to a relationship or the potential of one…it is. However, even though I am stuck, there is the hope of moving out of the friend zone, I’ve seen it happen, though it is rare. But, when you don’t make many connections with girls and you find something you’ve been waiting for after such a long time you’re willing to do a lot for the possibility of having something really special. But in my case, again being brave and hoping to not here the “let’s just be friends” phrase that haunts my dreams, I said to her “Listen, if you wanted to be just friends, I would understand, I know that people sometimes turn their backs on other people when they say that but …I just really want you to be happy, I like you enough that I would let you go if that’s what you really wanted and I’d still be there for you after.” She told me that she respected me and that she “doesn’t know yet”. This, my friends…is supposed to be a good sign… Whatever, I’m spinning the wheels a bit here. I gave her an out and she didn’t take it. Anyway, moving forward, I have known her for a month and a bit, I’m crazy about her, I think about her all the time and she very clearly doesn’t have the same interest level, now that’s not to say she’s not interested at all, we hang out and have fun and flirt, she has said I’m sweet and she has shown that she cares about me but she sometimes tries to hide that she cares about me and usually tries to make her interest seem that of just slightly more than that of a basic friend, but I forgive her that as I know that its hard to trust people when your last serious relationship was a massive blow up and you really don’t want anything to do with guys for a while, not to mention that I’ve only known her for a month and a bit. I guess the difference is that I know that I want her; I know we’d be great together, but I don’t think she’s as optimistic.

This is the conclusion and while it I have already stated that it is the conclusion, it is also the end. I don’t play games and I don’t want to, and keeping me at arms length is not doing me any favours, I give and give and it seems all very one sided. Now, don’t blame her, she doesn’t ask for anything, I just listen and hear things she wants and act based on what I know. Yes, I am the nice guy but maybe she doesn’t want the nice guy, or any guy, or maybe she wants a guy, maybe a nice one, but not me in particular. That’s fine. The reason I say that this is fine is because I am sick of the people who feel they need to protect themselves, who feel that they need to test and hide. This summer, I took a risk on a beautiful, amazing, intelligent girl. I can safely say that she’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I really want to be more than I am to her, sadly, I don’t think I will be, but I have been wrong before. I sit here, defeated, out of ideas, down, but I’m not out! Until she tells me that she doesn’t want me as anything more than a friend, I will keep trying, it might hurt me in the end but she’s worth the effort. And the pain you ask? Well, let me reference the beginning: you can’t get anything in this world without risking something. You will not have a successful relationship without risking your feelings, you won’t get the your desired job if you don’t apply for fear of rejection and you won’t ever know if something could develop between you and the cute girl at the coffee shop unless you give her your number. So, to all the THB lovers and readers, though we may have all of the hurt and baggage of relationships passed sitting on our shoulders and the “lessons” of the past in our heads. I ask not that you denounce your experience, as the lesson of not going for a “boob grab” on the first date is an actual pure gold lesson that I think should be taught in primary school. I merely ask that you lower your protection, we’ve all been hurt before but you can’t just shut down, you need to love with all of your heart, put something of yourself into the things you do for a someone special, don’t worry about rejection and the agony so much, because at the end of the day the effort that you put in might have been rejected but it might have meant a lot to that someone special. For you sports fans, Babe Ruth was the leader of the league in homeruns but he was also the leader in strikeouts, the lesson? Keep swinging and swinging hard, you’ll hit one eventually.

Never, EVER, give up on something you like or love until its gone for sure because you’ll never forgive yourself for not fighting, for not trying. But you can forgive yourself for failing. If you gave everything you could, you’ll have nothing to be ashamed of. I won’t sugar coat it, relationships hurt, they’re hard and they can end badly…this is beginning to sound a lot like sex…but remember that they can also change your life, they can make you happier than you were and they can make see a side of yourself that you thought dead and gone (see entire article). So, I thought to myself, even though I have failed I think people should see that its not all about the end result, in fact, you’ll find relationships are about the journey, and someone who is truly worth it, will make the journey worthwhile. Remember, however, that journey’s are long, sometimes painful and sometimes end suddenly…here we go with sounding like sex again. So, finally, my tail end advice, if you skipped the whole article to get here this is really all you need…sorry to all of you who read my story :-). Don’t be reckless with people’s hearts and don’t put up with those that are reckless with yours, love like haven’t been hurt, hold people you care about close because all relationships need maintenance at some point. Finally, even though we talk snide about our previous relationships, don’t let the negative emotions fill you with the ideas and pessimism that things will never work. I am writing this after failing and I know that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of, I treated that girl well and yeah, it probably won’t work out but at the very least I met someone amazing that restored my faith that I can fall for someone again and yes, I am hurt but the journey was worth it.

Magic Trick

I have a friend who is a complete sweetheart when it comes to the women he dates. He’s unbelievable. He’ll stay up all night to keep them company when they’re working the nightshift. He’ll run miles on his lunch break just to spend 5 minutes with them. He always puts their happiness above his own and he does all that without the aim of getting them into bed. And before you ask no he is not gay.

He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.

It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.

My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.

I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.

Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.

The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.

I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.

Play Safe Guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Dating Horror Story

I was looking back at some of the reasons I decided to take a break from dating and I just randomly started laughing at something that was so horrific at the time but is kind of funny now. I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story.

It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.

About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.

It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.

....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.

These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.

I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.

Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”

K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”

Me “hmmm, hmmm"

K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”

Me – “God no”

K – “Then?”

Me – “Facebook”

K- “I need more”

Me- “He changed his status”

K - “To?”

Me - “Fucking some dude”

K – “What!?”

Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”

K – “He’s joking”

Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”

K – “Pictures?”

Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”

K – “Oh”

Me - “Yeah”

K – “I’ll be right over”

When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.

We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.

I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.

Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol

Stay safe guys,

Love you,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Sorry

I just wanted to say sorry to you guys. I’ve been a bad blogger over the past few weeks. Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be back to normal and back to keeping you guys entertained and laughing.

Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.

I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).

I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)

Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.

I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Can fuck-friends go back to being just friends?

Someone asked me this question on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) and I thought I’d tackle this question in a blog. I’ve also posted it as my question of the day on my Facebook page.

It’s not impossible for two fuck-friends to return to just being friends however it’s really unlikely. You can stay on good terms with them for sure but they aren’t going to be like all your other friends.

Calling things off with a sex buddy is pretty much the same as a break up and because of that feelings can get hurt so things can get a little weird. And that’s why you shouldn’t pick a friend you care about losing to become a sex buddy. A sex buddy should be someone whom you couldn’t date but the sex was amazing and that’s why you keep them around. They shouldn’t be actual friends you care about. I’m sure that’s rule 101 in the fuck-friend handbook.

Saying all that you can however call things off with a sex buddy and then go back to being sex buddies. There is that understanding that you call off the sex to enter a relationship, if that relationship fails and your sex buddy is still single you can go back to the way things were.

Sex buddies is a unique relationship and it can take a lot but you can’t just flip a switch and change the dynamic.  That sexual chemistry will always be there. You can’t un-sleep with someone so the odds of going back to being just friends are slim to none.

Stay Safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Logic Haze

Hey Dolls, 

Sorry about the lack of a weekend post this week, I just had a nightmare weekend. But my new post for LogicHaze.com has been posted:

http://logichaze.com/posts/article/logic-laws-why-women-fake-it

Please check it out and tell me what you think. 

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxox

The Law Is The Law

There has been something making its rounds on Facebook…again and instead of ranting on one friend’s status I thought I’d just rant here instead to a wider less argumentative audience.

“TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit my home. Don't complain about my pets. (1) They live here, you don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'nitur e. (3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back. Re-post if you love your pets!”

Speaking as a non-pet owner, all the above it’s perfectly fine. There is no problem with furry furniture or you loving you animal more than me because odds are I’m not your biggest fan either. The problem comes when your stupid fucking pets jump on and lick me and you just stand there doing nothing looking like it’s the cutest thing in the world.

It’s not cute. It’s gross and really unhygienic.

It’s not that I hate pets. I grow up having dogs and cats. But mine were well trained and knew who the boss was.

If people want to pretend their pets are human, that’s perfectly fine by me. However if that’s the case I was to see those furry little bastards in a pair of teeny tiny paw-cuffs.

If a human were to act in the same manor, jumping on and licking me, without hesitation I’d have that person arrested. It’s a criminal act and I’d expect the perpetrator to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the offender happens to be four legged and have a cold nose so be it. I want to see the little bastard behind bars and in a bright orange jumpsuit. No means no and not speaking English is no excuse for breaking the law.

If you want to pretend your pet in human, that’s fine. I’ll play along but I want to see that them follow the same laws as any other human. After all fair is fair :-)

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Forgive and Forget

Hey Guys,

Let me start by apologizing for my whininess in my last post. Writing a blog post with a 102 degree fever wasn’t my smartest move but I promised a post and I wasn’t about to let anyone down.

However I’m feeling much better now and I have an absurd concept I’d like to talk about.

“Forgive and forget”

The whole idea of forgiving and forgetting is completely bonkers to me. I’m not against forgiving people so don’t get me wrong. It’s the forgetting part I have a problem with. It’s like that old saying “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”

You're never going to learn from anything if you constantly forgetting. It’s the recipe to becoming a doormat. “Oh he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget! On what planet does that make any sense? It’s the merry-go-round ride to hell.

My common sense would tell me after the first time I had to forgive someone that may this person is trouble and it’s time to find a new friend or boyfriend or whatever. I sure as hell wouldn’t get on the “forgive and forget” marry-go-round.

While writing this I can across something that said forgiving and forgetting can improve your health. But what about your quality of life? Actually a better question is why would you be around that many people who you constantly need to forgive?

I understand once in a blue moon something happens and you need to forgive or not forgive someone. But how many idiots do you have to have around you for it to impact your health. If you have that many fuck-wits around you, you deserve all the health problems you get. Use your brain. Stupid deserves stupid.

Maybe I’m wrong but in my opinion. Forgiving and forgetting is a sure fire way to become a doormat. You need to use your brain and not blindly follow some poorly thought out saying.

I’m heading back to bed. As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Sane vs Crazy

I’m going to keep this as short as I can because I’m in bed sick and rather cranky. And by rather cranky I mean being a total bitch to anyone who comes near me.

On top of being cranky with everyone else I’m also cranky with myself. Unlike most women I know when my brain is being crazy. And it pisses me off when I know my brain is working in a way that is illogical.

Let me explain. I can’t stand to see Mr. X upset or sad. It really eats at me to see him that way. The amount it bothers me I can’t even began to put it into words. I actually lost sleep over him being hurt.

This is crazy behaviour on my part. I’d have every right to enjoy every second of seeing him down. Hell I should throw a parade. But instead of being logical my brain decided to be crazy. Luckily I’m sane enough to spot these crazy flare-ups.

I’m upset, that him being upset upsets me. (Ever wonder what a crazy sane person sounds like? lol) I know that I shouldn’t care and on the whole I don’t. He could be eaten by beavers and that would be fine. It’s just him being upset I can’t stand. And I’m not mad at him for it; I’m pissed off at myself for my own reaction, which evidently I have no control of.

I’m just as hard on myself as I would be on anyone else, if not harder. I know my reaction is crazy. There is currently a war going on in my head between the sane side and this crazy flare-up. But all I can do right now is shake my head like an etch-a-sketch and try to put it out of my mind and move on. But the war wages on.

I’m going back to sleep now. I feel like death. Stay safe guys and stay away from sick people.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo

Biased

I have a massive pet peeve I’d like to share with you. It’s when I post something to my blog about an event or about a conversation I had and then someone calls me biased.

Of course I am!

This is my blog, it happened to me and it’s my point of view. Of course I’m biased.

At the end of the day this is a personal blog not the evening news. I share with the world my point of view on things whether they’re right or wrong it’s just my opinion. And I’m entitled to my opinion whether people like it or not.

However I’m nothing if not fair. So if I write about you and you feel hard done by and want to write a rebuttal, please do so and send it to (Ms.HonestB@gmail.com) and I’ll post it. I’ll warn you now though I will have a rebuttal of my own.

No one is forcing anyone to read my blog so it’s simple if you have a problem with the way I write, fuck off.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

This Needs To Be Said

This needs to be said.....

When you’re constantly breaking up and getting back together, that is NOT a relationship. That is a fuck friend who doesn’t know the rules.

Stop being so naive, he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t miss you, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to make it work, and before you say it, NO, YOUR MAN IS NOT DIFFERENT!

He’s horny. It’s simple.

Stop lying to yourself and more importantly stop making everyone hear about how he’s going to change. You my dear, are nothing but a place for him to rest his penis in.

There is nothing wrong with this per se. Fuck friends are great, but you need to be aware that’s what you are.

So stop the drama and either call a spade a spade or move on with your life. Don’t be stupid and pretend there’s something there when there clearly isn’t. It just makes you look pathetic and meek. Stop making the rest of us look bad and being a disgrace to the female race.

That’s my 2 cents and I’m sure you’ll tell me yours. Love you guys and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Are Women More Emotional Then Men?

I asked this question of my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/TheHonestB) a few weeks ago and after reading all the replies I feel inspired to write a post on the matter.

So are women more emotional then men?

Personally I think women and men are equally as emotional as each other. The difference is which emotions we show.

I’ll be the first to admit women are more likely to cry whether it’s over hurt feelings, pain or just because they’re happy (I’ll never understand that). But I also think women are more likely to hide certain feelings.

Most women won’t show if they’re stressed, angry or annoyed. We just bottle those feelings up. Mainly so we can turn around and use them at a later date but my point still stands we hide those kinds of feelings.

Men on the other hand will normally show if they’re angry, stressed or annoyed. They won’t even attempt to hind those kinds of feelings. Most men will however hind any feelings that may lead to them crying. It’s kind of like they’re the wicked witch and tears will cause them to melt.

So you can’t really say women are more emotional them men because we’re not. We just choose more often than not to show emotions that will ruin our makeup. Unlike men who choose to show emotions that will result in them sleeping on the couch.

No one sex is better than the other when it comes to being emotional. We’re just equally as screwed up as one and other.

Have a great night and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Bad Boys, Idiot Girls

Why do women go for “bad boys” then insist on bitching about them when they get hurt?

Nothing pisses me off more than listening to women bitch and moan about a guy; she has referred to as a “bad boy”. Surely the title alone is enough of a warning sign. Do you really need to touch the fire to see if you’ll get burnt?

Personally I don’t know what draws women to bad boys, they’ve always seemed like complete idiots to me. My common sense wouldn’t allow me to date anyone like that. But apparently common sense isn’t all the common.

If you choose to date “bad boys” do me a favour and don’t come crying to me when you get hurt. As far as I’m concerned it’s self inflected, and you deserve whatever you get for not using your brain.

Also let me add this when you contently breakup and get back together with a guy, you look like a weak minded doormat. It’s just an exercise in futility. Men don’t change! That’s just a fact of life, deal with it.

Women like that, who allow men to walk all over them, give us all a bad name. Not to mention it sends screwed up messages to men. Ever wonder where all the good men went? Women like that sent them screwy messages and turned them all into assholes........Ok some of them were born assholes but my point still stands.

Anyways my dears I’m heading off. Have a great day and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

I'm Not That Girl

I’ve reached an age where a lot of my friends are starting to get married off. That’s all well and good for them but I have a problem with it. It’s not with them getting married per se it’s more about them telling me about it and expecting me to be all excited for them. News flash....I’m not that girl.

I’m just not someone who dreams about their wedding day, I never have been. Even as a kid I never pretended to get married or even gave it a thought. It’s not that I’m against marriage or anything like that. I just believe that love is between 2 people and why should hundreds of guests be forced to hear about it.

I actually remember being at Sunday school, my teacher at the time was the pastor’s wife and she decided one Sunday to show us their wedding video. I remember sitting there, while all the girls were crying thinking, “why is she torturing all those people.” (Kids think the darndest things, eh?)

I like to think in every circle of friends each friend as a speciality. Love or matter of love was never mine. In the friendship world my speciality is “break-ups”. If you’re crying at 3am because your boyfriend dumped you, I’m the girl to call. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a bitch but bad mouthing the guy that dumped my friend and pointing out all the guys’ flaws comes naturally to me. However if you want to get back with him....it's not advisable to call me.

Clearly I’m not the girl you call when you decide to get married; I’m the girl you call when you decide to called off your wedding. When my friends tell me they’re getting married it takes everything in me not say “Congratulations, call me when you get divorced.” That’s not me being mean that’s just me embracing who I am.

Everyone always says play to your strengths and I do that. Ok, my strengths are a little meaner than most but in the world of friendships I play a vital role.

I love you guys and as always please stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Four Kinds of Girl

Over all my years of being friends with and dating far too many guy I’ve come to work out that in their minds women fall into 4 main categories, needy, pushy, stupid or bitch. And they will always whiny about a girl no matter which of these categories she falls into. Unless you’re in the process of making him cum, a guy will always find something to bitch about. You can never win; you can just shut him up for extended periods of time.

If you enjoy spending time with your boyfriend, sending texts or talking on the phone with him you fall into the “needy” category. You may be the most impendent person on the planet but when he is out with the guys and you text him even if he messages you first you’re needy. This is where things being so black and white in man-land gets them into trouble, Everyone knows there are different levels of neediness but you’d never know that listening to them talk.

If you have ever asked a guy out, approached a guy or told him to stop playing games you fall into the “pushy” category. In my personal experience sometimes you need to be pushy when it comes to guys but no man will ever see it that way. The only good pushy in the male mind is if you’re pushy in the bedroom. It messes with their male ego otherwise.

Now for the “stupid” category, these are the girl's guys date once with the intention of sleeping with them and never calling again. In my books it’s only stupid if you fall for their bullshit. But once again they’d never admit that in man-land.

The last category is bitch. There are 2 main ways to end up in this category. The first way is be opinionated and have your own views on things. I’ll never understand why women like that rub so many men up the wrong way but a lot of men hate it. The other way is to play the game they do. Show no interest, use them just for sex, and make them come to you. Keep that up for any period of time and they’ll soon be calling you a bitch.

Personally I don’t see anything wrong with being a bitch so they call me one all they like. I have a mind of my own and opinions and I don’t follow men around like a lost puppy so if that makes me a bitch, I’ll own it. Hello world I’m bitch, deal with it!

You’ll never please everyone so don’t every change who you are, especially to please a man. Just be who you are and own it. Sooner or later someone will come along who will take you for what you are. Don’t ever lose any sleep over him either because I’m willing to bet he isn’t losing any over you. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

As always my dears stay safe and don’t stress over things you can’t change.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo

Natural Comfort

I was cuddled up in my bed last night thinking about people who we’re naturally comfortable with. The sort of person you never feel awkward around and where everything just feels like second nature and comes so easily.

A lot of the time (at least for me) being comfortable around someone isn’t effortless. It’s very much a learnt behaviour. It takes me a while to warm up to a person and even more time for me to feel comfortable with them touching me. I’m not a touchy feely person by nature. I’ve had to learn to be ok friends touching and cuddling me it certainly, at least at first, didn’t come as second nature to me.

I can only think of two people that I’m truly naturally comfortable with. That’s not to say there has never been any awkward moments between us but on the whole I’m totally comfortable around them.

Chicken man is one of the two. Minus when he first gave me his number there has never been an awkward moment between us. First kiss, first time we slept together it was all so natural. I never even had that “what the hell is he doing moment”. It was just right and second nature

The other one will remain nameless and minus our one and only date I always feel comfortable around him. It’s kind of strange because I’ve only actually met him in person a half a dozen times. But for whatever reason I’m totally comfortable around him. Plus he never fails to make me smile, which helps the comfort level.

It’s nice to have people like that in your life, where you don’t have to work at things. It just comes natural; it’s just so much better and feels almost right.

Anyways my lovelies, I’m heading to bed. Stay safe.

Love

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo

Keep Off

This may sound weird coming from someone who blogs about every detail of her life but I’m going to say it anyways......... Keep your shit off Facebook!

There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t write your personal business on Facebook, I can’t even think of a good reason to do it, so stop!

First of all you’re making things worse. The second you post your problem with someone else on Facebook you’ve gone from it being between you and the person, to it being the business of everyone on your friends list. It may as well have been on the evening news; it’s in their news feed after all.

So now you have people, possibly perfect strangers add fuel to the flame. Everyone has their 2 cents on the matter. Everyone has advice to give and opinions. And don’t forget the other person is reading this, watching you spread gossip and bad mouthing them so instead of calming down they’re getting angrier.

Because they’re getting angrier they post a status too, so now you have their friends getting involved. Your joint friends end up taking sides. This upsets you both more. Sooner or later you start commenting on each other’s statuses. And the whole thing goes from something small to the worlds ending.

Not sounding like such a good idea now is it?

Might I add just because some of your friends aren’t commenting doesn’t mean they’re not reading what’s going on. And I’m willing to bet most of them are probably thinking you sound like a whiny small child.

Then you have the problem when you two make up that you’re left looking like an idiot to everyone on Facebook. You can’t get around that fact, once it’s all said and done, you’re left with 100’s of Facebook friends who read what was happening, and now think you’re an idiot.

So if you don’t want to be labelled a whiney idiot think before you write a status and take my advice is to keep your shit off Facebook.

I love you guys, and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Whack-A-Mole

The past month I’ve felt like I’m playing a massive game of “whack-a-mole”. Every time I turn around I’m bumping to another guy I refused to sleep a million years ago. It’s like they all got together and decided they would all pop up at me over the course of 4 weeks.

Just so you don’t think I’m being over dramatic, I swear to god this is an honest list of guys that have contracted me in the past month. Paul, Jason, Sukhi, Shane, Daniel B, Danny, Peter, Daren, Daniel S, Andy, Clint, Mr. X and the unknown texter (whom I thought I had blocked on my phone).

Out of that whole list of ghosts of men past I am only happy about one of them getting in contract with me. He’s the only one on that list that can make me laugh and always makes me smile when his name pops up. I’ll let you guys work who I’m talking about.

As for the rest of them, why the hell do they popup from nowhere? I’ve just proven that the odds are against anyone being happy to see them. What’s their motivation? It really does feel like a game of Whack-a-Mole, they popup, I hit them with bitchiness then they crawl back into the hole came out of. And with a bit of luck most of them well stay there this time.

I’m a lovely person but there is only so many “men moles” a woman can take before she has to throw all niceties out the window.

Anyways my dears I off for the night, so always stay safe.

Love

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo