Monday 8 August 2011

Magic Trick

I have a friend who is a complete sweetheart when it comes to the women he dates. He’s unbelievable. He’ll stay up all night to keep them company when they’re working the nightshift. He’ll run miles on his lunch break just to spend 5 minutes with them. He always puts their happiness above his own and he does all that without the aim of getting them into bed. And before you ask no he is not gay.

He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.

It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.

My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.

I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.

Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.

The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.

I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.

Play Safe Guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch


  1. So, that guy sounds like he needs to grow a backbone. But I disagree with the "penis" premise you have...

    I'll happily put the needs of others ahead of my own (in the right circumstance). I call these others "friends."

    And I'm totally with you on debating. Deal-breaker if that doesn't happen.

  2. That guy sounds like he's a nice guy and all and he sounds like he makes awesome youtube videos, but he does seem a little naive. If I were to guess, it sounds like this guy prefers to be alone rather than associate with people he doesn't completely get, its idealism like that which makes you an outlier in a group. Hopefully he'll find a connection with someone who gets him and he'll be happy but it doesn't sound like it's likely.


  3. He has a backbone just a true romantic. Which is enough to make people like who doesn't have a romantic bone in my bone sick.

    My penis premise is more when guys are trying to pick up girls rather then day to day life.

    Not naive just someone who is very picky when it comes to the girls he dates and once he finds one he likes it's a big deal. He'll find someone I'm sure. He's amazing guy just a little mushy for my tastes

  4. Awww he sounds like such a doll. Although I must admit he'd be wasted on me too. I like to see the person I'm dating as little as possible. Unless their naked

  5. I want one. How precious is he

  6. I'm not sure any guy is truly like that but if he's real good on him.

    He'd drive me crazy though. When guys are nice like that I always think they did something wrong