A large percentage of my friends are guys and I love it that way. It cuts way down on the amount of drama in my life. However there is a down side to having mainly male friends.
That down side is they tend to a wee bit protective of me.
When we all go out together, God help any guy who comes up to me. They better have nerves of steel because the guys will do pretty much anything to scare them off.
My favourite move is when they play gay. One of the lads will stork the hand of the guy who is hitting me, ask for their number, whatever they can think of. It’s pretty funny and a little uncomfortable to watch, but it tends to work and scare off the guy.
Most of the time I don’t mind the guys scaring off whoever is hitting on me, there are a lot of ugly guys in this world. But once in a while they’ll scare off a guy who I’m really into. It’s for the best I know because if they can’t handle my friends there is no way on this earth they would be able to handle me but it’s still annoying.
The other downside is.....guys suck at giving advice. They make a great shoulder to cry on but instead of giving advice they want to fix everything. “Oh he hurt you did he? Give me 5 minutes and he’ll be hurting too”. As sweet as that is, it doesn’t really help me and then instead of me venting, I have to prevent them from hurting whoever hurt me. Guess it kind of works to take my mind off it but not very helpful in the long run.
Even in the online world most of the people I talk to regularly are guys. I’m not sure if that’s down to me wanting less drama or because most of the people I talk to online are fellow Leafs fans. The point still stands.
I love the relationships I have with my friends, but pretty much every boyfriend I've had hates it. I’ll ever understand that. I had the friends before the relationship so why they even date me when they have a problem with it, is beyond me.
I know there is a little flirting between the lads and me but it’s completely harmless. Yes some of them will sit with their arm around me but it’s not like I’m fucking any of them. I swear sometimes the guys I date just use it as an excuse to start a fight. And that’s one fight they’ll never win.
I love my male friends dearly I just wish they’d be a little selective when it comes to who they scare off and who they don’t. They really don’t seem to have any rhyme or reason. I guess that's guys for you.
Anyways I’m heading off for the night. Hope you all had a great weekend and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
Showing posts with label True Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label True Story. Show all posts
Sunday 14 August 2011
Monday 8 August 2011
Magic Trick
I have a friend who is a complete sweetheart when it comes to the women he dates. He’s unbelievable. He’ll stay up all night to keep them company when they’re working the nightshift. He’ll run miles on his lunch break just to spend 5 minutes with them. He always puts their happiness above his own and he does all that without the aim of getting them into bed. And before you ask no he is not gay.
He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.
It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.
My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.
I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.
Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.
The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.
I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.
Play Safe Guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.
It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.
My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.
I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.
Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.
The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.
I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.
Play Safe Guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Dating Horror Story
I was looking back at some of the reasons I decided to take a break from dating and I just randomly started laughing at something that was so horrific at the time but is kind of funny now. I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story.
It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.
About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.
It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.
....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.
These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.
I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.
Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”
K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”
Me “hmmm, hmmm"
K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”
Me – “God no”
K – “Then?”
Me – “Facebook”
K- “I need more”
Me- “He changed his status”
K - “To?”
Me - “Fucking some dude”
K – “What!?”
Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”
K – “He’s joking”
Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”
K – “Pictures?”
Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”
K – “Oh”
Me - “Yeah”
K – “I’ll be right over”
When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.
We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.
I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.
Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol
Stay safe guys,
Love you,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.
About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.
It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.
....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.
These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.
I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.
Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”
K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”
Me “hmmm, hmmm"
K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”
Me – “God no”
K – “Then?”
Me – “Facebook”
K- “I need more”
Me- “He changed his status”
K - “To?”
Me - “Fucking some dude”
K – “What!?”
Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”
K – “He’s joking”
Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”
K – “Pictures?”
Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”
K – “Oh”
Me - “Yeah”
K – “I’ll be right over”
When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.
We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.
I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.
Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol
Stay safe guys,
Love you,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Monday 16 May 2011
Breaking with Birthday Tradition
I’ve always blamed my bad birthdays since I’ve moved to England on me being homesick. I’m away from my best friends and family it’s not the makings of a good day. But after a little chat NTB I’ve realised there’s been another reason why my last 3 birthdays have been below par.
I’ve been broken up with days before my birthday 3 years in a row. Clearly they weren’t that important to me if I’m only just realising that. In all honesty there are just other events that standout more to me.
Last year (2010) was when Mr. X and I started talking again. Which over shadowed my breakup with Stephen (my rebound to Mr. X) and my breakup with Andy who by the way was a cheating scum bag. Before you ask yes I did overlap relationships if you can call a rebound boyfriend a “relationship”.
2009 was the breakup with Steve. That breakup was overshadowed by the sinus infection from hell.
2008 which was my 21st birthday was all about me knocking out my ex boyfriend Keith whom broke up with me days earlier. He deserved to get his ass kicked and I’m pleased I did the world that service.
This year is the end of that tradition. I’m heading into my birthday 100% single and more importantly I’m not interested in anyone so this birthday should be drama free.
My plan for my birthday this year is to get very drunk and with a little bit of luck I won’t remember it so I won’t know if it’s another shitty birthday or not. Smart thinking eh? I think I should start writing apology notes now. Lucky for everyone I’m a fun drunk, random but fun.
Anyways my dears it’s not my birthday yet so I have things I need to get done. As always stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
Xoxoxoxoxo
I’ve been broken up with days before my birthday 3 years in a row. Clearly they weren’t that important to me if I’m only just realising that. In all honesty there are just other events that standout more to me.
Last year (2010) was when Mr. X and I started talking again. Which over shadowed my breakup with Stephen (my rebound to Mr. X) and my breakup with Andy who by the way was a cheating scum bag. Before you ask yes I did overlap relationships if you can call a rebound boyfriend a “relationship”.
2009 was the breakup with Steve. That breakup was overshadowed by the sinus infection from hell.
2008 which was my 21st birthday was all about me knocking out my ex boyfriend Keith whom broke up with me days earlier. He deserved to get his ass kicked and I’m pleased I did the world that service.
This year is the end of that tradition. I’m heading into my birthday 100% single and more importantly I’m not interested in anyone so this birthday should be drama free.
My plan for my birthday this year is to get very drunk and with a little bit of luck I won’t remember it so I won’t know if it’s another shitty birthday or not. Smart thinking eh? I think I should start writing apology notes now. Lucky for everyone I’m a fun drunk, random but fun.
Anyways my dears it’s not my birthday yet so I have things I need to get done. As always stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
Xoxoxoxoxo
Saturday 14 May 2011
NTB
There is a small group of male friends of mine that are always being mistaken for my boyfriend. I can understand why people would think that. It’s not uncommon for them to sit with their arm around me or for me to use them as a human pillow. I’ve even shared my bed with a few of them. We may flirt and joke around but there is nothing sexual there....Even if it may appear that way to some.
NTB isn’t like those guys. There isn’t even any harmless flirting there. Actually once upon a time there was a little flirting on my part but he’d never flirted back and that’s just no fun. Have you ever tried one sided flirting? I don’t recommend it.
NTB and I have a weird relationship and I don’t mean weird in a bad way I mean it in a go out and get drunk and come home with more money than when you left kind of way. As where the other guys are mistaken for the physical side of what you’d think a boyfriend would do, NTB is more the emotional side.
He’s someone who will be there if I’m having a bad day and crack a bad joke to cheer me up. He’s also someone who will listen to me vent no matter how ridiculous I sound. I feel bad for him some days because he has well and truly seen me at my worst and that’s not a pretty picture.
He got his name NTB (Not The Boyfriend) because of some of our conversations. To anyone else reading them they’d think he was my other half. We were talking about how we needed to work on our relationship and our commutation skills. I’d never agree to that with a real boyfriend. We’d breakup and I’d move on, but for NTB I’m more than happy to work on those things.
Like I said it’s a weird relationship, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. He is someone I really trust and care about and that’s rare for me. I don’t trust anyone. He’s just down earth and easy to talk to and he makes me laugh. That makes him a winner my books.
Anyways my dears, I need to crack on with a few things. Have a great weekend and as always stay safe.
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
NTB isn’t like those guys. There isn’t even any harmless flirting there. Actually once upon a time there was a little flirting on my part but he’d never flirted back and that’s just no fun. Have you ever tried one sided flirting? I don’t recommend it.
NTB and I have a weird relationship and I don’t mean weird in a bad way I mean it in a go out and get drunk and come home with more money than when you left kind of way. As where the other guys are mistaken for the physical side of what you’d think a boyfriend would do, NTB is more the emotional side.
He’s someone who will be there if I’m having a bad day and crack a bad joke to cheer me up. He’s also someone who will listen to me vent no matter how ridiculous I sound. I feel bad for him some days because he has well and truly seen me at my worst and that’s not a pretty picture.
He got his name NTB (Not The Boyfriend) because of some of our conversations. To anyone else reading them they’d think he was my other half. We were talking about how we needed to work on our relationship and our commutation skills. I’d never agree to that with a real boyfriend. We’d breakup and I’d move on, but for NTB I’m more than happy to work on those things.
Like I said it’s a weird relationship, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. He is someone I really trust and care about and that’s rare for me. I don’t trust anyone. He’s just down earth and easy to talk to and he makes me laugh. That makes him a winner my books.
Anyways my dears, I need to crack on with a few things. Have a great weekend and as always stay safe.
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Sunday 27 February 2011
Choices
Choices, we make then every day sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes with a very funny out comes.
I’ve told you guys about Neal and his YouTube channel before, he posted a new video Monday and my choices lead to something only I would do.
Thanks to the time difference Neal’s videos are almost always posted when I’m asleep. I’ll get a text message telling me he’s posted a new video and it’s become a habit then when I see it, I watch it. It’s become almost a reflex, I don’t even think about it. (Thanks Neal for all those early mornings).
That night I happened to have a guy friend over, we were talking and hanging out. One thing lead to another and we started kissing and things, (Let me just say this isn’t a good thing last time we ended up sleeping together we didn’t talk months and was just messy) just at the second it looked like things were going to go farther, my phone went off. (Anyone who knows me knows my phone is always to hand.) I saw Neal had posted a new video so kind of without thinking with a guy on top of me my hand went for my mouse. I did get asked what I was doing and I replied without thinking “Neal has a new video”. Needless to say at this point he was getting dressed, and 30 seconds later he was out the door...He never did say bye...How rude.
I just sat on my bed watching the rest of Neal’s video. About 10 seconds later it hit me what had just happened and I lost it. I was crying in laughter. I actually fell off the side of my bed laughing. I mean come on who in their right mind would give up sex with a hot guy to watch a friends YouTube video. The video is always going to be there, I swear The Show with Neal brainwashed me.
The funny thing is the guy blames Neal not me. I think he thinks Neal was spying on us via web cam so he knew the precise moment to upload his video. Hey it’s he’s choice to blame Neal, I’m not going to argue :-)
In hindsight I’m thankful for Neal’s poor timing. I don’t want to lose a good friend because of a poor choice. It would have been a stupid mistake and I’m thankful for being brainwashed. P.S That’s my story and I’m sticking to it...... The Show with Neal brainwashed me.
See what I mean about choices? Some are good, some are bad and some just make great stories.
As always stay safe dolls
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
I’ve told you guys about Neal and his YouTube channel before, he posted a new video Monday and my choices lead to something only I would do.
Thanks to the time difference Neal’s videos are almost always posted when I’m asleep. I’ll get a text message telling me he’s posted a new video and it’s become a habit then when I see it, I watch it. It’s become almost a reflex, I don’t even think about it. (Thanks Neal for all those early mornings).
That night I happened to have a guy friend over, we were talking and hanging out. One thing lead to another and we started kissing and things, (Let me just say this isn’t a good thing last time we ended up sleeping together we didn’t talk months and was just messy) just at the second it looked like things were going to go farther, my phone went off. (Anyone who knows me knows my phone is always to hand.) I saw Neal had posted a new video so kind of without thinking with a guy on top of me my hand went for my mouse. I did get asked what I was doing and I replied without thinking “Neal has a new video”. Needless to say at this point he was getting dressed, and 30 seconds later he was out the door...He never did say bye...How rude.
I just sat on my bed watching the rest of Neal’s video. About 10 seconds later it hit me what had just happened and I lost it. I was crying in laughter. I actually fell off the side of my bed laughing. I mean come on who in their right mind would give up sex with a hot guy to watch a friends YouTube video. The video is always going to be there, I swear The Show with Neal brainwashed me.
The funny thing is the guy blames Neal not me. I think he thinks Neal was spying on us via web cam so he knew the precise moment to upload his video. Hey it’s he’s choice to blame Neal, I’m not going to argue :-)
In hindsight I’m thankful for Neal’s poor timing. I don’t want to lose a good friend because of a poor choice. It would have been a stupid mistake and I’m thankful for being brainwashed. P.S That’s my story and I’m sticking to it...... The Show with Neal brainwashed me.
See what I mean about choices? Some are good, some are bad and some just make great stories.
As always stay safe dolls
Love Always
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
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