Sane vs Crazy

I’m going to keep this as short as I can because I’m in bed sick and rather cranky. And by rather cranky I mean being a total bitch to anyone who comes near me.

On top of being cranky with everyone else I’m also cranky with myself. Unlike most women I know when my brain is being crazy. And it pisses me off when I know my brain is working in a way that is illogical.

Let me explain. I can’t stand to see Mr. X upset or sad. It really eats at me to see him that way. The amount it bothers me I can’t even began to put it into words. I actually lost sleep over him being hurt.

This is crazy behaviour on my part. I’d have every right to enjoy every second of seeing him down. Hell I should throw a parade. But instead of being logical my brain decided to be crazy. Luckily I’m sane enough to spot these crazy flare-ups.

I’m upset, that him being upset upsets me. (Ever wonder what a crazy sane person sounds like? lol) I know that I shouldn’t care and on the whole I don’t. He could be eaten by beavers and that would be fine. It’s just him being upset I can’t stand. And I’m not mad at him for it; I’m pissed off at myself for my own reaction, which evidently I have no control of.

I’m just as hard on myself as I would be on anyone else, if not harder. I know my reaction is crazy. There is currently a war going on in my head between the sane side and this crazy flare-up. But all I can do right now is shake my head like an etch-a-sketch and try to put it out of my mind and move on. But the war wages on.

I’m going back to sleep now. I feel like death. Stay safe guys and stay away from sick people.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo