July 7th Wedding

We all know I’m not a fan of weddings but sometimes one comes along that despite my best effort I can’t get out of. My step dad’s, brother’s son’s wedding was one of those events that I just couldn’t get out of. And God knows I tried.

As you can tell by what I called him, we’re not close; actually I hadn’t seen the groom in at least 5 years. I don’t really enjoy the company of my step dad’s family or even my step dad for that matter but to keep the peace I agreed to go.

My first problem with the wedding was that date, July 7^th. Call me strange but getting married of the 7^th anniversary of the London bombing just doesn’t seem romantic to me. But each to their own I guess.

The wedding itself was alright and fairly painless. The bride (who I’ve never met) looked pretty. I was just impressed by the fact she wore flats, clever girl. I stuck around just long enough to congratulate the bride and groom and to watch a few of the photos being taken, then made my getaway just before it started to rain.

The day didn’t go off without a hitch though, about 10 minutes after I arrived 999 was called. The groom’s grandfather took a funny turn. I understand that it can be frightening but wow they suck in a crisis. They just stood there in front of him screaming and crying.

I’ve been in situations where my mom’s been ill and been taken away in an ambulance, but I’ve always managed to keep my shit together till after she was on route to the hospital.  Getting upset like that just stresses the sick person out and makes things worse. If you can’t get a grip, walk away that’s just common sense.

Before you start thinking I’m a heartless bitch the guy is fine. The room was hot and he hadn’t eaten or drank all day. I just think he didn’t want to be there either and his plan to get out of it was better than mine.

People wonder why I hate weddings, it’s because it’s never about the bride and groom. It’s about who got drunk, who got sick, who did something stupid that will always be remember more than the I do’s.

So that’s my reason for hating weddings, what wedding stories do you guys have? And do you love them or hate them? Let me know in the comment box below. As always my dears stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Marriage

This weekend one of my best friends from school got married and despite the fact I’m not a big fan of marriage and even a smaller fan of weddings I’m actually really happy for her. She's one of the very few that have gotten married for the right reasons and not because she’s Snookie and got herself knocked up. Plus her and her now husband, are perfect for each other.

If you follow me on twitter you’ll know marriage has been a bit of a theme this week. Some gossip made its way to me that Mr. X was getting married. Admittedly he did contracted me later that day telling me that the gossip was untrue. But I still want bonus points for taking the news (although false) so well. I even surprised myself. I was actually more upset that someone took the time to message me with that gossip thinking I would care.

The reason I took it so well is up for debate I’m either well and truly over him or I’m a “vindictive bitch”.  I think that’s a little harsh, betting girl would be a better way to put it. It’s not my fault half of all marriages end in divorce. And the odds said divorce turns nasty and bitter is ¼. None of that’s vindictive, its math.....throwing a party would be vindictive.....3^rd Saturday in June good for everyone :-)

Personally I think I took it so well because the idea of him getting married is kind of funny to me. I believe the devil is a wedding planner and him with a wedding planner and a Bridezilla just makes me smile.

I’m a bitch and I know it but you have to find the humour in these things and for whatever reason him getting married just makes me laugh. Do that make me strange?

What random things make you laugh? And if I’m wrong and the devil isn’t a wedding planning what do you think he does for a living?

I need to head to bed, as always my dears stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Uncomfortable Question

One of my readers asked me a very interesting question. I love you guys for always asking the hard questions and giving me your honest comments but this one caught me off guard and left me speechless.

The question was “If Mr. X showed up at your door, despite your limited time together and limited activity together, got down on one knee and asked you to marry him, what would you say?”

I sent an email back with, I’ll admit it, a copout answer, saying “If he showed up at my door I’d have a heart attack because he doesn’t know where I live.”

When someone asks you a question normally you can open your mouth and a reply falls out. In this case I opened my mouth nothing not even a sounds came out. I’m not someone who is normally short on words so that was...new.

My belief is when your gut reaction and your brain disagree everything goes blank to stop you making a fool of yourself. I’m not sure what part on me had what reaction because when I try to think about this question all I hear is “la la la I’m not listening, go away, I can’t hear you.”

Bearing in mind Mr. X is more likely to murder me then marry me I will try and answer the question as do I do all messages and emails I get (Ms.HonestB@gmail.com). I’m pretty sure I’d answer with a really confused look on my face and the maybe touch the ground to see if hell had indeed frozen over. Maybe request he took a drug test.

All joking aside I don’t know what I’d say to him. I probably stand there for a really long time then start to laugh for no good reason then the change the topic. Joking is how I get out of all sorts of uncomfortable situations. How do you guys get out of uncomfortable situations?

Anyways my dears I’m heading off the night.  As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

PS for those of you who are asking I’ll post a update on NTB this week