Night Shift Problems

As I’m sure most of you know I work nights and I’m probably one of the very few people on this planet that actually enjoys it. With no upper management around I tend to find myself in a lot less trouble than I otherwise would. That, and, I’m naturally a night owl. This all seems perfectly normal to me, however, everyone else seem to have difficulty grasping it.

I posted to Facebook my first day off last week, that I was enjoying a drink or 6 to which I got a snotty comment back saying “you’re drinking on a Monday?”. I guess if you follow a traditional calendar I was drinking on a Monday, however, I happen to work 4 on, 4 off, so in my world days of the week mean nothing. Like right now my computer tells me it’s Thursday, however, to me, it’s day 4 of 4 off. And tomorrow the rest of the world thinks it’s Friday and the start of the weekend, however, to me, it’s 1 of 4.  

I’m blessed that a lot of my friends also work nights, so I don’t get a lot people trying to call me in the middle of the day just wanting to talk, just evil delivery men who I'm pretty sure hoard everything until I’m back at work.

The only other issue I have is the judgmental Tesco lady, who looks at me like I’m the devil, when I buy alcohol at 7 am. When I finish a 12 hour shift, I have the right to cold beer without some women in her 60’s judging me, because clearly as life decisions go hers weren’t great.

Anyways, seeing how it’s 4 of 4 and I’m sadly back at work tomorrow, I’m off to for a glass of something containing alcohol and to be judged by the rest of the world for doing so. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; have you ever worked nights and did you enjoy it? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo 

Valentine's Day

Seeing as we’re are now firmly in February, I’m sure this is the time where I should be writing a Valentine’s Day blog, about love and blow jobs or whatever people write about this time of the year.

However, I dislike Valentine’s Day, and no, that’s not the single bitterness coming out, I just don’t go all gaga for romance. And like I’ve said here before romance actually makes me uncomfortable. So a day dedicated to it is kind of my idea of hell.

Normally I’d spend it getting drunk with friends because anti-Valentine’s Day is way more fun than the real thing. Yes, you have to buy your own drinks but at least when you pass out drunk fully clothed there is nobody to judge you.

This year, however, I’m spending it at work. Which in theory sounds great, single girl, 50 men…however, it’s not. I’d actually rather spend Valentine’s on a real date, then spend it with 50 over sexed, under washed men. But sadly, I have no damn choice in the matter. So I shall bake cookies, put on a smile and hope to god none or all but one don’t try and touch me.

Anyways, that’s that my anti-Valentine’s Day rant, I’m not going to go and messaged someone I shouldn’t, but hey, good decisions rarely lead to entertaining blogs. But, before I go I shall leave you with this question; how are you spending your Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

That Pesky Line

I posted a blog last week, about the delicate line when flirting and in the post I talked about how one of the drivers at work was pushing that line, well he officially crossed it.

Funny enough, it was probably the day that post went live, I was at work and as normal there was a little harmless flirting going on, he came around the desk and to make a cup of coffee and gave me a hug. While he was around my side of the desk, he made some comment, which sadly can’t remember, and I snapped back with “now that paints one hell of a picture.” Without missing a beat, he said “you’d love to see a picture.” Me being me, without thinking I said “damn straight I would.” …. I should have known better.

When he grabbed his phone I knew I was in trouble, however, when he was looking through his phone and said he didn’t think he had any pictures, I thought I was safe and then I tempted fate with the comment “you’re such a let-down.”…. That was a mistake.  

          

He came over and showed me a picture, which I haven’t managed to get out of my head since. It was a picture he took in the mirror of himself, in his underwear with a rather impressive hard on. I believe the only appropriate words, for that is, damn.      

There is an image that comes to mind when you think of a truck driver and let me just say he breaks all those stereotypes. If it wasn’t for the whole him not being single thing, that man would be naked in my bed right now. I had no idea what his clothes were hiding.

Anyways, I’m going to go and try and take my mind off the many, many, many dirty thoughts that are running through my mind right now, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; do you ever feel like you’re playing with fire when you flirt? Let me know in the comment below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

What Are You Looking For?

There is one question that has become the bane of my life now that I have decided to torture myself with online dating. That question being “what are you looking for?” Now I’m sure that this question shouldn’t be as hard as it, but I can’t seem to find even a half decent answer.

The honest answer being I’m not looking for anything. If I happen to find someone awesome, if I don’t, I’m good. I am not looking for anybody to make me whole or any of that bullshit. I’m there because I write a blog about dating and relationships and sometimes you need to do a little research to better your writing.

That may be the honest answer, however, it gets you nowhere. Men apparently don’t want to know the truth. They want to think you need them and the fact I don’t, scares them… Funny enough, I didn’t need a dating site to tell me this, I’ve been having the same issue for years.

You’d think I’d be able to pick up the “right” answer by talking to the first few guys, however, all their answers seem kind of pathetic to me so that’s clearly not going to work. Perhaps the right thing to do is keep answering honestly and the guy I don’t scare off is the man for me but I just don’t know.

So I leave the question with you; what is the non-pathetic answer to “what are you looking for?” let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

January Update

I thought I’d finish up this month’s blog posts (anyone else impressed I managed to get all 8 up) with a bit of catch up, since I’ve left a lot of post open-ended recently.

Let’s start with the reason I was drunk for most of the first week of January. I ended my 2014 work year with a shiny disciplinary. A disciplinary I didn’t deserve I might add. I’m no angel, and I probably deserved a disciplinary for a few things, however, the one I received was complete and utter bullshit.

Sticking with the utter work bullshit, I also got pulled into a meeting at head office not long after that disciplinary because I was accused of recruiting. To which my official reply was “given everything that has happened over the past few weeks, I don’t want to work for this company so why the hell would I tell anyone else to?” ….I was found to be innocent.

The next update comes in the form of Mr. Block, he’s gone to the light-side, making him as good as dead to me. However, many of you will be pleased to know replacing him on the dark-side is Hank. I know many of you were rooting for him.

Your obligatory Mr. X update is simple, he’s still a cock.

The internet dating is going horribly, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die alone with 700 cats, but given the other options, I’m good with that.

My New Year’s resolutions are still going strong, I managed to get all 8 blog posts up… just and my Facebook questions are still going strong, be it with a little cheating on my part. The less quick to anger resolution, however, is dead. What can I say, I just have a low tolerance for bullshit.

Anyways, I think that you guys all caught up now, and I’m off to cause a little bit of trouble….ok, maybe a lot of trouble. But before I go, I shall leave you with this question; how are you getting on with your New Year’s resolutions? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Flirting - The Line

It’s no secret I’m a flirt, and for the most part, it’s utterly harmless; a cute smile, flirty eyes, a sly comeback and maybe, just maybe, a little cleavage. But it’s nothing that is crossing any lines.

I work in the transport industry, so I’m surrounded by men and flirting and innuendo is just the way many of them communicate. So for the most part I don’t even notice it anymore, on their part nor mine.

However, once in a while, that delicate line in crossed and at that point…. I notice.

The last time that line was crossed, it was the supervisor. It was all sweet and innocent flirting until it wasn’t. Then non sweet and innocent actions soon followed…. Not that I’m complaining. However, now, there seems to be another one slowly tap dancing himself over that line.

One of my favorite drivers, who like me is a natural flirt, has been pushing the line for a while and is slowly drifting over it. It started New Year’s Eve, he sent me a message on Facebook, that started off innocently but blame the drink if you will, it soon turned a little naughty but nothing too bad.

Then my last 4 off things edge a little more to the land of not so innocent, I won’t go into much detail, but let’s just say there was talk of “rabbiting” and some talk of meeting up. Now I could lie to you and say this was still just, barely on the line of innocence, but it wasn’t, it crept over that line.

And I’m aware it probably shouldn’t have, and I’m also aware I have to be careful because first of all, drivers gossip like you wouldn’t believe and second of all, I don’t want any drama but…. Nothing bad happened last time right?

This is going to end badly isn’t it?

Anyways, I’m off to make some bad decisions, but before I go I shall leave you with this question, where is the line when flirting? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

MEMEBOX - Daily Must-Wears

If you don’t follow me on Twitter (@TheHonestBitch) you may not be aware, but I have a tiny subscription box addiction and my absolute favourites is MEMEBOX*. So when my latest one showed up in the mail this morning, I thought I’d share it with you.

This box came with 5 products, all of which were full size, which is pretty standard for MEMEBOX*. As always, on the top, was the magic information card that lets you know what the products are and most importantly, how to them since a lot of the products have little to no English on them.

 

The first item in this box is the LAILLY 7 Seconds Makeup Booster which retails for $41. From what I can tell it’s a makeup a primer, made from strawberry, raspberry, blueberry and acai berry extracts….not sure how it’ll do keeping my makeup in place but it sounds yummy. 

Next up is the TOUCH COUTURE Perfect Dual kit which retails for $35. This is one strange idea, which is something I say a lot while opening my MEMEBOXES. On one side, it’s a lip gloss tint on the other side it’s an eyebrow gel. I don’t know about you, but I have ever thought to myself “hey you know what this lip gloss needs….. eyebrow gel” but whatever 

                                                                                                  

The 3^rd item is not 1, not 2 but 5 of the ESTHETIC HOUSE – Collagen Jelly pack Mask Sheets. Which retail for $17. These are 20 minute sheet masks designed to help energize and hydrate. 

The 4^th item in this box is the LA BELLONA Camellia Oleifera Oil Clinic which retails for $11. From what I can tell this can either be used as a conditioner or a hair mask, either way it’s meant to repair dry or damaged hair making it healthy, shiny and soft. 

The 5^th and final item could have been any one of 3 items, the one I received was the MOKSHA –Bidan Cream which retails for $46. I’ve read the card about 20 times on this item and I’m going with it’s a moisturizer. It doesn’t actually say that anywhere but it seems like a solid guess. It says bidan is Korean for silk and it minimizes blemishes and fine lines and you should message it into your face. 

So that is what was inside my MEMEBOX – Daily Must- Wears box*. If you’re interested in giving MEMEBOX ago click any of the links in this post or head over to MEMEBOX.COM.  I hope you guys have enjoy this, I know it’s a little different than what I normally do. Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

*disclaimer, all links in this post are afflilate links, however, all views and opinions expressed are my own and I didn’t receive anything to say them. 

Internet Fuck-Wits

I think I may be over this whole internet dating idea. It seemed like a great idea, however, if I stumble across one more idiot I may go on a murderous rampage.

The last piece of work, who happened to be 24 which should have been my first clue not to reply back, started by asking if I have Facebook and then asking if he could have a look. Which is weird, but fair enough, at least it proves I’m real.

He then follows that up with “do you have any full length pics”, that’s it I’m done. There is no possible good ending to that. He may as well started his message with; “hello, I’m a shallow tool who’s only here to get my balls licked.”

I mean fair enough, I understand where the bloke is coming from, but there is a way to ask such a question without coming off as a complete fuck-wit.

If it was just that one, it would be fine, however they all seem to be fucktards and I’m quickly running out of patience!

Anyways, I feel a little bit better for that rant, however I think I’m off to get a hug from something alcoholic right now, so I shall leave you with this question what is the worst opening line you’ve ever heard? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Top 5 Dating Site Profile Picture No-nos

As I said in my previous blog, I’ve decided to give Internet dating another go and over the past few weeks I’ve come to notice that men are utterly clueless when it comes to knowing what women are looking for when they look at a profile picture.

So for the sake of women everywhere I thought I’d list my top 5 dating site profile picture no-no’s and who knows, I may throw in a few things you should do as well just for good measure.

No-no #1 - The drunk picture: Nobody wants to date a man who clearly can’t hold his alcohol. I understand why you’re posting it, you’re going for that fun loving vibe, however, that’s not the vibe you’re giving off. You’re giving off more of the party every night, going nowhere in life, kind of vibe.

No-no #2 – The topless picture: I don’t have an issue with a topless picture being somewhere in your gallery; I do, however, have a problem with it being your main picture, especially if your face isn’t even in the picture. Forgetting the fact it’s sending out a strong “I’m only here to get laid” message. If you’re looking for more than that, you’re not going to be happy with the sort of woman a picture like that attracts, so just don’t do it.

No-no #3 – The surround by women picture: When I come across a picture of a guy who is surrounded by women, whether they’re real women or clearly model’s I always click no my reasoning is simple, drama. Men with lot of female friends in my experience come with a lot drama, and who wants that in a guy they haven't met yet?

No-no #4 – The hotter friend picture: This one should go without saying, but when you post a picture to a dating site you should be the hottest person in the picture. You don’t want to start a relationship with a woman fantasizing about your best friend.

No-no #5 – The slob picture: If you look like you haven’t moved off the couch in 2 weeks don’t be surprised if nobody is giving you any attention. There is a big difference between looking chilled and relaxed in a picture and looking like you’re afraid of the shower.

And just so this post is completely negative here are two things that women like to see in a dating site profile picture.

#1 – A suit: As cliché as it sounds, there is nothing more attractive than a man in a suit. It gives the appearance that the man is put together and knows what he wants in life. Appearances can be deceptive, but by the time she figures that out you’ll have hopefully won her over with your charm.

#2 – Your adorable dog: I can’t explain this one, it’s just one of those facts of life. A cute dog makes you better looking and more appealing. I’ve noticed it myself, guys I’d normally instantly pass on get a second look because their dog is gorgeous….and I’m not even a dog person.

Anyways, that’s just my thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear yours. What advice would you give men when it comes to picking their profile picture? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Internet Dating

In an attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone and break some walls down, I’ve decided to give internet dating another go. And I’ve quickly come to the conclusion I’m going to die alone and after seeing what’s out there…. I’m ok with that.

My biggest problem has not been the freaks, nor the instantly clingy men, nor the almost certain murderers; it’s actually been real life people. And by that I mean people I already know in the real world. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but if I wanted to date people I already knew, I’d be dating them. That and some of them I have already dated and that clearly ended well.

The men I have managed to find that haven’t previously existed in the real world, have quickly caused me to flee for my safety. When someone is pushing to meet you in person after only 2 messages, they either only want to fuck your brains out or eat your brains out of your skull, either way I’m not really interested.

However, I shall persevere in my mission and who knows after all these losers in aluminium foil, maybe I’ll find my knight in shining armor, or maybe I’ll just get a few good blogs out of it…. Either way I’m happy.

I won’t leave you with a question this blog, however, I will ask you to leave your internet dating stories below, whether they’re good or bad I want to hear them. And as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Lord Of The C*nts

“It’s been 5 years feel free to get over it” – Mr. X

I have never wanted to punch Mr. X so much in my whole life. I’m not sure if that’s his way of show guilt or he’s just a flat out c*nt but I’m not impressed one little bit right now.

So my let me start by saying the events themselves I’m over, I forgive him completely, that’s why I’m able to talk to him and joke with him, I have no ill will (minus today) for him. We were young and stupid and I get that and I’m at peace with everything.

The problem is despite being at peace with everything, I’m fucked up, I’m scarred and despite forgiving him, those scars are still there, whether he or I likes it or not. I’m emotionally disfigured and I’m working on it, but that’s just how it is.

My goal for 2015 is to work on it, and that was going to be this blog before the lord of the c*nts upset me, but it’s going to take time to break down the walls I’ve created. That’s the problem, or scar if you will, that he’s left me with. I get the same complaint repeatitedly; the sex is fantastic, but I don’t let anyone in, so it’s impossible to have a real relationship with me. Like I said, I’m working on it, but those walls were built by an expert and will take a lot of time and dedicated effort to destroy.  

And in the meantime being told how to feel by some egotistical dick isn’t helping matters. I will get there, I just need to do it on my own terms and not to force it, because every time I’ve forced it in the past those walls have just gotten higher and thicker. And that’s kind of the opposite of what I’m going for here.

Anyways, I hope this post clarifies a few things, I know it’s made me feel better. I’ll fill you in on my plans to get over all this in my upcoming blogs, but in the meantime I shall leave you with this question; what scars have past relationships left you with and how have you overcome them? Let me know your thoughts and stories in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

New Year's Resolutions

It would appear January and I don’t get along very well, last year I didn’t manage a single post in January and this year we’re well into week 2 and this is my first post. I’ve already managed to fail 2 or my 3 New Year’s resolutions so 2015 is off to a fantastic start.

The first resolution I managed to fail at 10 seconds into the New Year. It was be less quick to anger, however, when the fireworks at midnight, woke up this sleeping bitch that went straight out the window.

The second one was to post my Facebook question of the day, every day; luckily Facebook has made it possible to cheat the resolution back insistence, so be sure to check out my Facebook page (like my shameless plug?)

My third and final one is to post a minimum of 8 blog posts a month. With a little work on my part that one is still possible, however, my week and a half off is going to make it a little tricky.

I don’t know what it is about this time of the year, but it seems to be out to get me. I’ll explain what happened this year at a later date, but let’s just say work was bad enough I was drunk for 4 days straight.

Anyways, my dears, I off to get some much needed sleep… I think I’m still hungover, and before you ask, yes, it was that bad. But before I go, I want to leave you with this question, what are your New Year’s resolutions and how are you getting on with them? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Christmas Eve History

If you’ve been here a while, you may remember Mr. X’s Christmas Eve spectacular; and if you’re new here I shall give you a brief synopsis. Christmas Eve 2009 Mr. X turned me into the bitch I am now. He told me he had feelings for me and there was something there. And then less than an hour later he decided he “just couldn’t” and vanished.

I’m not going to lie, that fucked me up….badly and years down the line I still carry those scars but at the same time I’m very grateful. That gave me a lot of strength and that was never more evident than last night when Mr. Block sent me a message that was flat out wrong and very low.

From what I can gather he was out drinking and he sent me this message “Come on it’s time to fuck me or leave me alone xx”. Before Mr. X that message would have had me tears, but now that message just enraged me. On what planet is that an acceptable thing to say to anyone, let alone to say to someone on Christmas Eve?

Now I could be over reacting given the day of the year and it’s not so pleasant history but I don’t think I am. I also think, if that’s the game he’s going to play, he can go die a slow painful death. I’m after an adult relationship and he keeps proving himself to be a child. And I’m just not interested in that.

Anyways, it’s Christmas so that's enough of that; I’m going to go and spend time with people who love me for me and not just for my vagina. But before I do, I shall leave you with a question; on what planet is that message acceptable? Let me know your thoughts in the comment below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Sabotage

I’m going to do something that I would never recommend anybody in their right mind do. I’m going to tell Mr. Block I’m a blogger. I do have a reason for doing it, however, I’m pretty sure my self-rationalisation is utter bullshit and the true reason is sabotage.  

My thought is if I can be completely honest with him from the start about my blogging, and he can accept it, I should be able to overlook the age thing. The problem being he won’t be able to accept it, no guy can, so this is just my way of writing him off without having to be the bad guy or looking petty because I can’t get over the fact he’s a crummy 7 days my junior.

Admittedly the age thing isn’t my only problem with Mr. Block so I could justify fleeing the situation, however, I was willing to overlook them and give him a chance before I found out he was a child, so surely if I flee now, there really is no saving face.

I know this whole thing sounds crazy, but deep down aren’t we all a little crazy? I’m just more upfront about my craziness than most. I also know what I’m doing couldn’t possibly end well for me, but I guess if I’m going to go down, I may as well go down in flames.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and watch the world burn, but before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what little thing flips your crazy switch on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo