I have never wanted to punch Mr. X so much in my whole life. I’m not sure if that’s his way of show guilt or he’s just a flat out c*nt but I’m not impressed one little bit right now.
So my let me start by saying the events themselves I’m over, I forgive him completely, that’s why I’m able to talk to him and joke with him, I have no ill will (minus today) for him. We were young and stupid and I get that and I’m at peace with everything.
The problem is despite being at peace with everything, I’m fucked up, I’m scarred and despite forgiving him, those scars are still there, whether he or I likes it or not. I’m emotionally disfigured and I’m working on it, but that’s just how it is.
My goal for 2015 is to work on it, and that was going to be this blog before the lord of the c*nts upset me, but it’s going to take time to break down the walls I’ve created. That’s the problem, or scar if you will, that he’s left me with. I get the same complaint repeatitedly; the sex is fantastic, but I don’t let anyone in, so it’s impossible to have a real relationship with me. Like I said, I’m working on it, but those walls were built by an expert and will take a lot of time and dedicated effort to destroy.
And in the meantime being told how to feel by some egotistical dick isn’t helping matters. I will get there, I just need to do it on my own terms and not to force it, because every time I’ve forced it in the past those walls have just gotten higher and thicker. And that’s kind of the opposite of what I’m going for here.
Anyways, I hope this post clarifies a few things, I know it’s made me feel better. I’ll fill you in on my plans to get over all this in my upcoming blogs, but in the meantime I shall leave you with this question; what scars have past relationships left you with and how have you overcome them? Let me know your thoughts and stories in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.
The Honest Bitch