Marriage

This weekend one of my best friends from school got married and despite the fact I’m not a big fan of marriage and even a smaller fan of weddings I’m actually really happy for her. She's one of the very few that have gotten married for the right reasons and not because she’s Snookie and got herself knocked up. Plus her and her now husband, are perfect for each other.

If you follow me on twitter you’ll know marriage has been a bit of a theme this week. Some gossip made its way to me that Mr. X was getting married. Admittedly he did contracted me later that day telling me that the gossip was untrue. But I still want bonus points for taking the news (although false) so well. I even surprised myself. I was actually more upset that someone took the time to message me with that gossip thinking I would care.

The reason I took it so well is up for debate I’m either well and truly over him or I’m a “vindictive bitch”.  I think that’s a little harsh, betting girl would be a better way to put it. It’s not my fault half of all marriages end in divorce. And the odds said divorce turns nasty and bitter is ¼. None of that’s vindictive, its math.....throwing a party would be vindictive.....3^rd Saturday in June good for everyone :-)

Personally I think I took it so well because the idea of him getting married is kind of funny to me. I believe the devil is a wedding planner and him with a wedding planner and a Bridezilla just makes me smile.

I’m a bitch and I know it but you have to find the humour in these things and for whatever reason him getting married just makes me laugh. Do that make me strange?

What random things make you laugh? And if I’m wrong and the devil isn’t a wedding planning what do you think he does for a living?

I need to head to bed, as always my dears stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

The 90 Day Rule

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How To Move On

Recently I’ve had a lot of people messaging me asking how they can stop caring about someone. I’m not sure how qualified I am to give advice but I’ll give it a go.

Let me start by saying despite what people think I didn’t just flip a switch and was over Mr. X, I wish it was that easy. What happened is I took my heart and stubbornness out of the equation and thought about things logically.

You can’t argue with logic. Even if your heart or stubbornness is tell you otherwise once you have logic on your side those things quickly shut up and you realize you’d be a fool to do anything else but just walk away.

You’ve heard of the gray area well I call emotions the pink area and once I wrote everything out in black and white that pink area seemed to have the mental capability of a first grader. And I don’t know about you but I’m not in the habit of taking dating advice from a 6 year old.

Following a 6 year olds advice isn’t a good look for anyone and that sort of thing reflects poorly on you. Look at it like this, would you tolerate a boyfriend making you look bad? That’s what’s happening. The guy you’re chasing is making you look like a fool. He’s causing you to sell you’re short and that’s just not on. You’re above that.

And once I realised all that, I didn’t want Mr. X, I was fine. I was able to talk to him without feeling anything. It’s like my heart killed him off. As far as it was concerned he was dead, RIP. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it feels to let go. He has no power over me anymore. I’m so much happier without the weight of his baggage holding me down.

Maybe that’s the best way to stop caring, pretend he’s dead. Look back at all the times he’s wronged you and realize he’s added a lot of pain to your life. Get mad about it and pick yourself up in the knowledge that you won’t let it happen again, you’re stronger now. Take the lessons and drop the baggage he caused. And move on with a smile on your face.

I know it’s not easy but once you do it you’ll feel so much better than you ever thought possible.

That’s my advice, or rant....Not sure which. What do you guys think, what advice would you give someone who is struggling to let go and move on?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

No Patience

It’s my birthday in a matter of weeks and at this point in my life I’m so over guys playing games. I really don’t have the patience for it anymore.

It’s actually reached the point where it’s a massive turn off. I’m a straight shooter who has no problem telling anyone what I think and having a guy around who is wishy-washy or hot and cold just isn’t a good fit. I like my men to men and there is nothing manly about a guy hemming and hawing, it actually kind of pathetic.

I also like the men in my life to think they wear the pants in the relationship. We all know that’ll never be the case but he has to think it. There’s something very sexy about a man who thinks he’s in control. (A man who’s actually in control infuriates me.)

Saying that, I want a man who can be manly and forceful without being a jerk, you know the type, a big scary grizzly bear but when he’s home cuddling he’s a teddy bear, kind of like most hockey players, just not Sidney Crosby that guys a pussy. A well paid, pretty pussy but a pussy nonetheless.

I just wish I could understand what causes men to be so indecisive when it comes to relationships. Men who are otherwise steadfast become complete morons when it comes to dealing with relationships or potential relationships.

It makes no sense and I really can’t be bothered to deal with this BS anymore. I need a guy with no baggage and no emotional issues or whatever else causes them to be relationship morons.

Anyway my dears I have things I need to get on with. Let me know what you think, what turns men into relationship morons?  Have a good evening and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Yep, It's My Fault

“The problem is you pick the wrong guys” – People who suck at breakup advice

With the exception of Mr. X my relationship problems have nothing to do with the men I pick. And has everything to do with the fact relationships turn otherwise nice guys into pricks.

I’m not the sort of person who goes out with a guy once and then he’s my boyfriend. I like to get to know my prospective boyfriends. I like to befriend them first, get to know them. See if they’re good boyfriend material or if they have more issues then playboy.

I’m selective with my boyfriends, I don’t go for “bad boys” or guys who are rude or disrespectful. That’s just a massive turn off to me. I like nice guys who are independent, who have the ability to make their own decisions and not follow the crowd. I like a guy who has his own beliefs and morals and stick to them. It’s not like I go for jerks and cheaters I put every effort in to screen them out.

I’m not a high maintenance girlfriend either so why men turn into assholes when they’re in a relationship is beyond me. My requests in a relationship are simple; I like a good night text and message if you’re running late. Clearly the makings of pushing a man over the edge.

It just infuriates me when people assume the girl is the problem, and it’s her fault things end poorly in a relationship.

Of course it’s my fault; I’m the one inserting his dick into other women. Yep it’s my fault I put his tongue in that girl mouth. Completely my fault I wrote the script he read when he lied to me. Give me a fucking break.

I know I’m not innocent and I’ve fucked up in the past and I own that. I’m by no means perfect. But neither are the guys I’ve dated and to pin their fuck ups on me is low and pathetic. Grow the hell up.

That’s my rant on the matter, what do you guys think. Is it the girls fault when a relationship doesn’t end well? As always dolls, stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Forced Holiday

I’m back.

I guess I should start by explaining my disappearing act. There isn’t actually much to tell. I was order by my doctor to take a few weeks off and relax.

He gave me this order, well; he actually didn’t give it to me, he gave it to my mom. Yes that’s right my mom. The doctor went over my head and gave it to my mom leaving me no choice in the matter.

He gave the order for two main reasons. The first is since my MRI I’ve been having panic attacks. Which my doctor says is due to stress. 18 doctors appointment in the first 4 months of 2012 will do that to a person. The second reason was my back was spasming and I had an appointment with a new doctor coming up. It was very likely at that first appointment he was going to do injections in my back which apparently is very hard to do when the back is spasming.

At first I wasn't a fan of these orders, I had things I needed to do and nobody was letting me do them. My mom actually went so far as to, hide my netbook and steal my PC keyboard. Charming I know.

After one final panic attack it became very clear I was taking this forced holiday whether I liked it or not and I should stop wasting my energy and just go with it.

I’m weird with panic attacks; I’m a very sane crazy person. I lay with my back against the wall looking at my door, because it stops that somebody is going to come up behind me and stab me feeling. As I’m lying there I’m thinking this is fucking crazy. My room is on the ground floor and at the front of the house, surely the window would be my biggest problem not the door. Like I said I’m a sane crazy person.

Despite the fact I thought I felt fine before my forced holiday I have to admit now my doctor was right. Even though it took me the best part of my time off to actually relax once I did, I could really feel the difference and as an added plus was my neck and back weren’t feeling so tight.

Or at least they weren’t until I met my new doctors yesterday, who I can safely say beat the living shit out of my back. I guess the upside is they decided, at least for now, they aren’t going to do any injections. Thank god for that. I’ve been under that fluoroscope so many times I think my ovaries are starting to glow in the dark.

After getting double teamed by two doctors yet again today, and let me add not in the good way, I’ve been given the green light to end my forced holiday. So I should be resuming my regular blogging schedule as of....now.

And if you ask me it’s not a second too soon, I’ve missed blogging. As always my dears stay safe,

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

3am Declaration Of Love

To all the men out there, I have a word of advice for you, declaring your love at 3am is NEVER a good idea.

Let’s start with the obvious reason why it’s a horrible idea. Nobody likes being woken up in the middle of the night. And women in particular HATE IT. You’re making us get out of bed in the middle of the night; half asleep, looking like shit, in our pyjamas with no makeup on so we’re instantly crabby. 

The other obvious problem is we don’t believe a single word you have to say at that hour. Nothing intelligent and well thought out comes out of anyone’s mouth at 3am. Not to mention the fact I don’t think anyone has ever declared their love at 3am sober. Women don’t care what the beer has to say ever, and saying it at 3am just annoys us farther.

I only bring this problem up because Friday night someone tried this bullshit on me and it’s now Sunday and I’m still irritated by it.

At 3am I was woken up by a knocking at my window. I tried to go back to sleep but it continued so I was given no choice but to get up. There was a drunken guy I haven’t spend any real time with in at least 7 years.

I decided to hear him out because it was clear I wasn’t getting any more sleep otherwise. He was rambling on about wanting a relationship and some other crap I wasn’t awake enough to take in.

He went on to tell me the he’d been drinking (duh) and that Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber had magically come across my blog and told him from what they saw I have feelings for him too.

Since I had no fucking clue what he or they were talking about I logged on to my blog to figure it out. I’d like to go on record that I still don’t know what they’re talking about. I personally think it’s another case of someone thinking their Mr. X when clearly they’re not. I don’t even have feelings for Mr. X anymore so even that’s logic is flawed.

After he said everything he had to say I kicked him out and tried to get back to sleep. That didn’t happen till 8am which irritated me even more. But I figured that was that and I wouldn’t hear anymore from him.

I was wrong, at 1am last night I got a Facebook message from him asking if he could come over and fuck me. At which point I decided my twitter follower Maxwell was right and I should buy a gun, a pink scary gun.

I’m way too old for this bullshit; it’s not appealing and a massive turn off. But hopefully you guys out there can learn from this guy’s mistake and not pull this crap because if you do the only thing you’ll be spending the night with is your hand.

As always my dears stay safe. Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo