To all the men out
there, I have a word of advice for you, declaring your love at 3am is NEVER a
good idea.
Let’s start with the
obvious reason why it’s a horrible idea. Nobody likes being woken up in the
middle of the night. And women in particular HATE IT. You’re making us get out
of bed in the middle of the night; half asleep, looking like shit, in our
pyjamas with no makeup on so we’re instantly crabby.
The other obvious
problem is we don’t believe a single word you have to say at that hour. Nothing
intelligent and well thought out comes out of anyone’s mouth at 3am. Not to
mention the fact I don’t think anyone has ever declared their love at 3am sober.
Women don’t care what the beer has to say ever, and saying it at 3am just
annoys us farther.

At 3am I was woken up
by a knocking at my window. I tried to go back to sleep but it continued so I
was given no choice but to get up. There was a drunken guy I haven’t spend any real
time with in at least 7 years.
I decided to hear him
out because it was clear I wasn’t getting any more sleep otherwise. He was rambling
on about wanting a relationship and some other crap I wasn’t awake enough to
take in.
He went on to tell me
the he’d been drinking (duh) and that Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber had
magically come across my blog and told him from what they saw I have feelings
for him too.

After he said
everything he had to say I kicked him out and tried to get back to sleep. That
didn’t happen till 8am which irritated me even more. But I figured that was
that and I wouldn’t hear anymore from him.
I was wrong, at 1am
last night I got a Facebook message from him asking if he could come over and fuck me.
At which point I decided my twitter follower Maxwell was right and I should buy a
gun, a pink scary gun.

As always my dears
stay safe. Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo