I was looking back at some of the reasons I decided to take a break from dating and I just randomly started laughing at something that was so horrific at the time but is kind of funny now. I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story.
It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.
About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.
It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.
....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.
These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.
I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.
Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”
K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”
Me “hmmm, hmmm"
K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”
Me – “God no”
K – “Then?”
Me – “Facebook”
K- “I need more”
Me- “He changed his status”
K - “To?”
Me - “Fucking some dude”
K – “What!?”
Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”
K – “He’s joking”
Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”
K – “Pictures?”
Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”
K – “Oh”
Me - “Yeah”
K – “I’ll be right over”
When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.
We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.
I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.
Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol
Stay safe guys,
Love you,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Sorry
I just wanted to say sorry to you guys. I’ve been a bad blogger over the past few weeks. Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be back to normal and back to keeping you guys entertained and laughing.
Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.
I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).
I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)
Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.
I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.
Love you guys,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.
I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).
I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)
Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.
I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.
Love you guys,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Wednesday 20 July 2011
Can fuck-friends go back to being just friends?
Someone asked me this question on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) and I thought I’d tackle this question in a blog. I’ve also posted it as my question of the day on my Facebook page.
It’s not impossible for two fuck-friends to return to just being friends however it’s really unlikely. You can stay on good terms with them for sure but they aren’t going to be like all your other friends.
Calling things off with a sex buddy is pretty much the same as a break up and because of that feelings can get hurt so things can get a little weird. And that’s why you shouldn’t pick a friend you care about losing to become a sex buddy. A sex buddy should be someone whom you couldn’t date but the sex was amazing and that’s why you keep them around. They shouldn’t be actual friends you care about. I’m sure that’s rule 101 in the fuck-friend handbook.
Saying all that you can however call things off with a sex buddy and then go back to being sex buddies. There is that understanding that you call off the sex to enter a relationship, if that relationship fails and your sex buddy is still single you can go back to the way things were.
Sex buddies is a unique relationship and it can take a lot but you can’t just flip a switch and change the dynamic. That sexual chemistry will always be there. You can’t un-sleep with someone so the odds of going back to being just friends are slim to none.
Stay Safe, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Monday 18 July 2011
Logic Haze
Hey Dolls,
Sorry about the lack of a weekend post this week, I just had a nightmare weekend. But my new post for LogicHaze.com has been posted:
Please check it out and tell me what you think.
Love you guys,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxox
Wednesday 13 July 2011
The Law Is The Law
There has been something making its rounds on Facebook…again and instead of ranting on one friend’s status I thought I’d just rant here instead to a wider less argumentative audience.
“TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit my home. Don't complain about my pets. (1) They live here, you don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'nitur e. (3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back. Re-post if you love your pets!”
Speaking as a non-pet owner, all the above it’s perfectly fine. There is no problem with furry furniture or you loving you animal more than me because odds are I’m not your biggest fan either. The problem comes when your stupid fucking pets jump on and lick me and you just stand there doing nothing looking like it’s the cutest thing in the world.
It’s not cute. It’s gross and really unhygienic.
It’s not that I hate pets. I grow up having dogs and cats. But mine were well trained and knew who the boss was.
If people want to pretend their pets are human, that’s perfectly fine by me. However if that’s the case I was to see those furry little bastards in a pair of teeny tiny paw-cuffs.
If a human were to act in the same manor, jumping on and licking me, without hesitation I’d have that person arrested. It’s a criminal act and I’d expect the perpetrator to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the offender happens to be four legged and have a cold nose so be it. I want to see the little bastard behind bars and in a bright orange jumpsuit. No means no and not speaking English is no excuse for breaking the law.
If you want to pretend your pet in human, that’s fine. I’ll play along but I want to see that them follow the same laws as any other human. After all fair is fair :-)
Stay safe guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
“TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit my home. Don't complain about my pets. (1) They live here, you don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'nitur e. (3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back. Re-post if you love your pets!”
Speaking as a non-pet owner, all the above it’s perfectly fine. There is no problem with furry furniture or you loving you animal more than me because odds are I’m not your biggest fan either. The problem comes when your stupid fucking pets jump on and lick me and you just stand there doing nothing looking like it’s the cutest thing in the world.
It’s not cute. It’s gross and really unhygienic.
It’s not that I hate pets. I grow up having dogs and cats. But mine were well trained and knew who the boss was.
If people want to pretend their pets are human, that’s perfectly fine by me. However if that’s the case I was to see those furry little bastards in a pair of teeny tiny paw-cuffs.
If a human were to act in the same manor, jumping on and licking me, without hesitation I’d have that person arrested. It’s a criminal act and I’d expect the perpetrator to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the offender happens to be four legged and have a cold nose so be it. I want to see the little bastard behind bars and in a bright orange jumpsuit. No means no and not speaking English is no excuse for breaking the law.
If you want to pretend your pet in human, that’s fine. I’ll play along but I want to see that them follow the same laws as any other human. After all fair is fair :-)
Stay safe guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Sunday 10 July 2011
Being Sick Sucks
Everyone in my household has been sick over the past two weeks and I’ve come to realize something and it’s really fucking me off.
Just because I’m a non-smoker they don’t consider me to be as sick as them.
I’m the only non-smoker in my house and obviously when a smoker gets ill they get a nasty cough that tends to sound like they’re losing a lung thanks to the years of damage the cigarettes have done. As a non-smoker my cough is naturally not as bad. So despite having the same virus they have they seem to think I’m not as ill as them because I sound better.
How is that fair? Just because I choose not to pick up a nasty habit I’m never as sick as everyone else. I know life isn’t fair but self inflicted, is self inflicted and I don’t see why I shouldn’t be granted the same courtesy they get when ill.
I shouldn’t be made to do things they never would when they're ill. It just isn’t right and it's really granting on me. It’s not like I’m asking to be looked after. I just want to be left alone to curl up in a ball a die.....Or sleep which ever I’m not fussy.
Anyways my dears I’m going to sleep and with a little luck I’ll wake up feel better and a little less cranky. I love you guys and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Just because I’m a non-smoker they don’t consider me to be as sick as them.
I’m the only non-smoker in my house and obviously when a smoker gets ill they get a nasty cough that tends to sound like they’re losing a lung thanks to the years of damage the cigarettes have done. As a non-smoker my cough is naturally not as bad. So despite having the same virus they have they seem to think I’m not as ill as them because I sound better.
How is that fair? Just because I choose not to pick up a nasty habit I’m never as sick as everyone else. I know life isn’t fair but self inflicted, is self inflicted and I don’t see why I shouldn’t be granted the same courtesy they get when ill.
I shouldn’t be made to do things they never would when they're ill. It just isn’t right and it's really granting on me. It’s not like I’m asking to be looked after. I just want to be left alone to curl up in a ball a die.....Or sleep which ever I’m not fussy.
Anyways my dears I’m going to sleep and with a little luck I’ll wake up feel better and a little less cranky. I love you guys and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Monday 4 July 2011
Forgive and Forget
Hey Guys,
Let me start by apologizing for my whininess in my last post. Writing a blog post with a 102 degree fever wasn’t my smartest move but I promised a post and I wasn’t about to let anyone down.
However I’m feeling much better now and I have an absurd concept I’d like to talk about.
“Forgive and forget”
The whole idea of forgiving and forgetting is completely bonkers to me. I’m not against forgiving people so don’t get me wrong. It’s the forgetting part I have a problem with. It’s like that old saying “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
You're never going to learn from anything if you constantly forgetting. It’s the recipe to becoming a doormat. “Oh he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget! On what planet does that make any sense? It’s the merry-go-round ride to hell.
My common sense would tell me after the first time I had to forgive someone that may this person is trouble and it’s time to find a new friend or boyfriend or whatever. I sure as hell wouldn’t get on the “forgive and forget” marry-go-round.
While writing this I can across something that said forgiving and forgetting can improve your health. But what about your quality of life? Actually a better question is why would you be around that many people who you constantly need to forgive?
I understand once in a blue moon something happens and you need to forgive or not forgive someone. But how many idiots do you have to have around you for it to impact your health. If you have that many fuck-wits around you, you deserve all the health problems you get. Use your brain. Stupid deserves stupid.
Maybe I’m wrong but in my opinion. Forgiving and forgetting is a sure fire way to become a doormat. You need to use your brain and not blindly follow some poorly thought out saying.
I’m heading back to bed. As always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Let me start by apologizing for my whininess in my last post. Writing a blog post with a 102 degree fever wasn’t my smartest move but I promised a post and I wasn’t about to let anyone down.
However I’m feeling much better now and I have an absurd concept I’d like to talk about.
“Forgive and forget”
The whole idea of forgiving and forgetting is completely bonkers to me. I’m not against forgiving people so don’t get me wrong. It’s the forgetting part I have a problem with. It’s like that old saying “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
You're never going to learn from anything if you constantly forgetting. It’s the recipe to becoming a doormat. “Oh he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget --> “he cheated on me” --> forgive and forget! On what planet does that make any sense? It’s the merry-go-round ride to hell.
My common sense would tell me after the first time I had to forgive someone that may this person is trouble and it’s time to find a new friend or boyfriend or whatever. I sure as hell wouldn’t get on the “forgive and forget” marry-go-round.
While writing this I can across something that said forgiving and forgetting can improve your health. But what about your quality of life? Actually a better question is why would you be around that many people who you constantly need to forgive?
I understand once in a blue moon something happens and you need to forgive or not forgive someone. But how many idiots do you have to have around you for it to impact your health. If you have that many fuck-wits around you, you deserve all the health problems you get. Use your brain. Stupid deserves stupid.
Maybe I’m wrong but in my opinion. Forgiving and forgetting is a sure fire way to become a doormat. You need to use your brain and not blindly follow some poorly thought out saying.
I’m heading back to bed. As always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
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