There is one question I hate more than any other. And that question is..... Is this going to end up in your blog?
Why do people even ask? I’m a blogger. If they do something blog worthy of course I’m going to write about it. And the more a person bitches and moans about it the more likely I am to make them look like an idiot.
I’m never sure when people ask if something is going to end up in my blog or not if they’re asking because they want or don’t want to be in it. We live in a time where everyone tweets and updates their status every 5 minutes, basically everyone is an attention whore so it only stands to reason they’d want a mention in a blog too, even if it does make them sound bitchy, whiny and needy.
I’m a reasonable person...for the most part, and I don’t write about everything. I do exorcise a little decorum. There are just some things I wouldn’t share without the person’s permission (provide they know about my blog). What? They don’t call me a bitch for nothing.
Most of the time if a person would just dropped it; they wouldn’t end up in my blog in the first place. But when people make a scene and kick and scream they make it more entertaining and therefore a better blog so I have no choice but to write about it.
The solution is simple if you don’t want to end up in my blog don’t do anything stupid and if you want to end up in my blog, keep being stupid because I can never have too much blog material.
Anyways I’m off. As always guys stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Saturday, 20 August 2011
Thursday, 18 August 2011
Dating Horror Story – The Grinch who stole my 21st birthday
Since you guys seemed to really enjoy my last relationship horror story I thought I’d share another one with you. This one is about the Grinch who stole my 21st birthday.
I met the Grinch at my local pub which in hindsight should have been my first red flag. I had been eyeing him up for months and he was flirting back but never made a move. So on New Year’s Eve I decided fuck it and made the first move myself. We ended up having a great night and we swopped numbers.
For the next month we texted and chatting a little but not much more than that. The guy moved slower than a snail. With a little pushing from my friend we ended up in a relationship just after Valentine’s Day.
It was never a happy relationship the guy had issues. Issues he managed to hide pretty damn well until we were in an actual relationship. He had problems knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he did drugs too. Which would have been a deal breaker if I had known.
One night he called me from town drunk begging me to come get him. So I agreed to pick him up. Not a great idea. I couldn’t get the idiot out of my car. I spent 40 minutes outside his house trying to get him out. Pulling, pushing, and kicking him. I wasn’t having much luck. I managed to get him half way out of my car. Then he looked at me laughed and got back in and shut my car door. Needless to say I didn’t find it so funny. I gave up after that and drove home and left him in my car to sleep it off.
I went inside and got ready for bed. About 3 hours later I hear a noise at my front door. I got out of bed to check it out and it was the Grinch trying to get in my house with his house key. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I let him in because I had no real choice and let the asshole take my bed and I took the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass but I listened to friends and gave him another chance. (That was a stupid move and I’m no longer friends with those people.)
In May of that year he dragged me to a family wedding. We all know how I feel about weddings. This wedding was worse because his family is a walking, talking Adam’s Family. It was a fucking nightmare. Or should that be he was a fucking nightmare.
He was drunk and loud and really rude to his family. I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He was such as ass I actually ended up putting him on the floor. The dude was acting like a fucking child. It was total nightmare.
I had every plan on dumping him but it was 10 days till my birthday so I decided to hang on until then. I figured I deserved a present after the way he acted. I never did get the present because two days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that poor excuse for a man dumped me.
Needless to say I was more than a little pissed off. I wasn’t hurt or sad about the break up; I was just plain old mad. Who was he to dump me after the way he acted?
He added to my anger when I found out he had plans to pop in and see me at my birthday party. I had been saying for months I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday but him and my best friend at the time forced me into planning a night out. Once we broke up I figured I didn’t have to go out now. And I was free to spend the night the way I wanted to. I was wrong.
I actually had a great night until Mr. Grinch showed up. When I saw him I actually saw red. I really don’t remember much after that until we were outside talking and he said something. I guess I didn’t like what he said because I punched him square in the jaw. He was out cold. I remember feeling cheated because he went down so easily, I wanted to kick the shit out of him. The real punch line is he’s a personal trainer who had just gotten back from a boxing course. Guess they forgot to teach him how to keep his hands up.
I got a lot of praise for punching him and putting him in his place. Guess he had rubbed more than just me up the wrong way. As good as it felt, it really sucks that’s how my 21st will always be remembered. He stole the night from me. Why would you show up where you knew your ex is going to be on her birthday?
It still makes me mad to think about that relationship. But I’ve learned my lesson. Never date people you have a chance of running into once you’ve broken up. Stay safe guys.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
I met the Grinch at my local pub which in hindsight should have been my first red flag. I had been eyeing him up for months and he was flirting back but never made a move. So on New Year’s Eve I decided fuck it and made the first move myself. We ended up having a great night and we swopped numbers.
For the next month we texted and chatting a little but not much more than that. The guy moved slower than a snail. With a little pushing from my friend we ended up in a relationship just after Valentine’s Day.
It was never a happy relationship the guy had issues. Issues he managed to hide pretty damn well until we were in an actual relationship. He had problems knowing when to stop drinking and I later found out he did drugs too. Which would have been a deal breaker if I had known.
I went inside and got ready for bed. About 3 hours later I hear a noise at my front door. I got out of bed to check it out and it was the Grinch trying to get in my house with his house key. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I let him in because I had no real choice and let the asshole take my bed and I took the couch. I was ready to dump his sorry ass but I listened to friends and gave him another chance. (That was a stupid move and I’m no longer friends with those people.)
He was drunk and loud and really rude to his family. I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He was such as ass I actually ended up putting him on the floor. The dude was acting like a fucking child. It was total nightmare.
I had every plan on dumping him but it was 10 days till my birthday so I decided to hang on until then. I figured I deserved a present after the way he acted. I never did get the present because two days before my birthday he dumped me. That’s right that poor excuse for a man dumped me.
Needless to say I was more than a little pissed off. I wasn’t hurt or sad about the break up; I was just plain old mad. Who was he to dump me after the way he acted?
I actually had a great night until Mr. Grinch showed up. When I saw him I actually saw red. I really don’t remember much after that until we were outside talking and he said something. I guess I didn’t like what he said because I punched him square in the jaw. He was out cold. I remember feeling cheated because he went down so easily, I wanted to kick the shit out of him. The real punch line is he’s a personal trainer who had just gotten back from a boxing course. Guess they forgot to teach him how to keep his hands up.
I got a lot of praise for punching him and putting him in his place. Guess he had rubbed more than just me up the wrong way. As good as it felt, it really sucks that’s how my 21st will always be remembered. He stole the night from me. Why would you show up where you knew your ex is going to be on her birthday?
It still makes me mad to think about that relationship. But I’ve learned my lesson. Never date people you have a chance of running into once you’ve broken up. Stay safe guys.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Sunday, 14 August 2011
The Down Side
A large percentage of my friends are guys and I love it that way. It cuts way down on the amount of drama in my life. However there is a down side to having mainly male friends.
That down side is they tend to a wee bit protective of me.
When we all go out together, God help any guy who comes up to me. They better have nerves of steel because the guys will do pretty much anything to scare them off.
My favourite move is when they play gay. One of the lads will stork the hand of the guy who is hitting me, ask for their number, whatever they can think of. It’s pretty funny and a little uncomfortable to watch, but it tends to work and scare off the guy.
Most of the time I don’t mind the guys scaring off whoever is hitting on me, there are a lot of ugly guys in this world. But once in a while they’ll scare off a guy who I’m really into. It’s for the best I know because if they can’t handle my friends there is no way on this earth they would be able to handle me but it’s still annoying.
The other downside is.....guys suck at giving advice. They make a great shoulder to cry on but instead of giving advice they want to fix everything. “Oh he hurt you did he? Give me 5 minutes and he’ll be hurting too”. As sweet as that is, it doesn’t really help me and then instead of me venting, I have to prevent them from hurting whoever hurt me. Guess it kind of works to take my mind off it but not very helpful in the long run.
Even in the online world most of the people I talk to regularly are guys. I’m not sure if that’s down to me wanting less drama or because most of the people I talk to online are fellow Leafs fans. The point still stands.
I love the relationships I have with my friends, but pretty much every boyfriend I've had hates it. I’ll ever understand that. I had the friends before the relationship so why they even date me when they have a problem with it, is beyond me.
I know there is a little flirting between the lads and me but it’s completely harmless. Yes some of them will sit with their arm around me but it’s not like I’m fucking any of them. I swear sometimes the guys I date just use it as an excuse to start a fight. And that’s one fight they’ll never win.
I love my male friends dearly I just wish they’d be a little selective when it comes to who they scare off and who they don’t. They really don’t seem to have any rhyme or reason. I guess that's guys for you.
Anyways I’m heading off for the night. Hope you all had a great weekend and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
That down side is they tend to a wee bit protective of me.
When we all go out together, God help any guy who comes up to me. They better have nerves of steel because the guys will do pretty much anything to scare them off.
My favourite move is when they play gay. One of the lads will stork the hand of the guy who is hitting me, ask for their number, whatever they can think of. It’s pretty funny and a little uncomfortable to watch, but it tends to work and scare off the guy.
Most of the time I don’t mind the guys scaring off whoever is hitting on me, there are a lot of ugly guys in this world. But once in a while they’ll scare off a guy who I’m really into. It’s for the best I know because if they can’t handle my friends there is no way on this earth they would be able to handle me but it’s still annoying.
The other downside is.....guys suck at giving advice. They make a great shoulder to cry on but instead of giving advice they want to fix everything. “Oh he hurt you did he? Give me 5 minutes and he’ll be hurting too”. As sweet as that is, it doesn’t really help me and then instead of me venting, I have to prevent them from hurting whoever hurt me. Guess it kind of works to take my mind off it but not very helpful in the long run.
Even in the online world most of the people I talk to regularly are guys. I’m not sure if that’s down to me wanting less drama or because most of the people I talk to online are fellow Leafs fans. The point still stands.
I love the relationships I have with my friends, but pretty much every boyfriend I've had hates it. I’ll ever understand that. I had the friends before the relationship so why they even date me when they have a problem with it, is beyond me.
I know there is a little flirting between the lads and me but it’s completely harmless. Yes some of them will sit with their arm around me but it’s not like I’m fucking any of them. I swear sometimes the guys I date just use it as an excuse to start a fight. And that’s one fight they’ll never win.
I love my male friends dearly I just wish they’d be a little selective when it comes to who they scare off and who they don’t. They really don’t seem to have any rhyme or reason. I guess that's guys for you.
Anyways I’m heading off for the night. Hope you all had a great weekend and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
Monday, 8 August 2011
Magic Trick
I have a friend who is a complete sweetheart when it comes to the women he dates. He’s unbelievable. He’ll stay up all night to keep them company when they’re working the nightshift. He’ll run miles on his lunch break just to spend 5 minutes with them. He always puts their happiness above his own and he does all that without the aim of getting them into bed. And before you ask no he is not gay.
He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.
It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.
My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.
I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.
Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.
The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.
I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.
Play Safe Guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.
It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.
My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.
I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.
Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.
The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.
I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.
Play Safe Guys, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Dating Horror Story
I was looking back at some of the reasons I decided to take a break from dating and I just randomly started laughing at something that was so horrific at the time but is kind of funny now. I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story.
It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.
About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.
It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.
....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.
These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.
I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.
Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”
K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”
Me “hmmm, hmmm"
K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”
Me – “God no”
K – “Then?”
Me – “Facebook”
K- “I need more”
Me- “He changed his status”
K - “To?”
Me - “Fucking some dude”
K – “What!?”
Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”
K – “He’s joking”
Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”
K – “Pictures?”
Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”
K – “Oh”
Me - “Yeah”
K – “I’ll be right over”
When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.
We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.
I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.
Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol
Stay safe guys,
Love you,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.
About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.
It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.
....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.
These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.
I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.
Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”
K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”
Me “hmmm, hmmm"
K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”
Me – “God no”
K – “Then?”
Me – “Facebook”
K- “I need more”
Me- “He changed his status”
K - “To?”
Me - “Fucking some dude”
K – “What!?”
Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”
K – “He’s joking”
Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”
K – “Pictures?”
Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”
K – “Oh”
Me - “Yeah”
K – “I’ll be right over”
When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.
We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.
I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.
Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol
Stay safe guys,
Love you,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Sorry
I just wanted to say sorry to you guys. I’ve been a bad blogger over the past few weeks. Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be back to normal and back to keeping you guys entertained and laughing.
Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.
I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).
I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)
Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.
I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.
Love you guys,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.
I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).
I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)
Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.
I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.
Love you guys,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Can fuck-friends go back to being just friends?
Someone asked me this question on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) and I thought I’d tackle this question in a blog. I’ve also posted it as my question of the day on my Facebook page.
It’s not impossible for two fuck-friends to return to just being friends however it’s really unlikely. You can stay on good terms with them for sure but they aren’t going to be like all your other friends.
Calling things off with a sex buddy is pretty much the same as a break up and because of that feelings can get hurt so things can get a little weird. And that’s why you shouldn’t pick a friend you care about losing to become a sex buddy. A sex buddy should be someone whom you couldn’t date but the sex was amazing and that’s why you keep them around. They shouldn’t be actual friends you care about. I’m sure that’s rule 101 in the fuck-friend handbook.
Saying all that you can however call things off with a sex buddy and then go back to being sex buddies. There is that understanding that you call off the sex to enter a relationship, if that relationship fails and your sex buddy is still single you can go back to the way things were.
Sex buddies is a unique relationship and it can take a lot but you can’t just flip a switch and change the dynamic. That sexual chemistry will always be there. You can’t un-sleep with someone so the odds of going back to being just friends are slim to none.
Stay Safe, Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
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