Misplaced Anger

I guess I should start by saying sorry to Jimmy. I was upset the other day and despite the fact I wasn't aiming my anger at him he felt the outer edges of my anger bubble I'm sorry for that.

He's a good resource to have because he's a reformed fuck-wit. He's a fountain of knowledge in the inner workings of the twisted male brain.

And by fuck-wit I mean the Bridget Jones definition, self-cantered, insensitive, game playing and otherwise uncaring prick.

What happened is I was mad at Jon or as he will now be known evil monkey and instead of admitting I was angry to him I vented at Jimmy. I don't think he enjoyed that very much....oppps

Then he told me I was kind of to blame because I didn't use the words “I am mad “so how was evil monkey to now. After that bit of advice I stop asking Jimmy what he thought because I no longer liked his answers.

Am I the only person who does that? Why should I admit I'm mad, when it's obvious I'm mad?

Evil monkey and I managed to sort everything out in the end. After I finally gave in and admitted I was angry. People shouldn’t get used to that though, it may never happen again.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

MRI Panic

Sorry I didn't manage to get anything up yesterday, I was too busy stressing about my hospital appointment today. It was nothing major, just a MRI but I really didn't enjoy my last one and was completely dreading having to have another one.

I wouldn't consider myself claustrophobic or anything like that but that tube puts the fear of God in me. I can only explain the feeling as what it must feel like to be inside a coffin, a loud lighted coffin.

I didn't enjoy my last MRI but it went fine. I managed to get it done without any issues. It sucked but I figured I'd never have to have another one again.... I was wrong.

Today's MRI didn't go as well. I lost it.... Big time. I wasn't inside that coffin like to tube more than 2 minutes before they had to take me out. Apparently it's very common to have a panic attack inside a MRI machine. The tech was saying it's almost more common to have one then not. Which made me feel a little better, but I still feel like a big baby. They make it look so nice in the easy on TV.... Bunch of liars.

Luckily after I calmed down I managed to suck it up and have my MRI done. I just couldn't face the thought of having to come back and go through this all over again. So I just focused on my breathing and kept my eyes closed.  It still wasn't enjoyable in any shape or form but at least I got it done.

Needless to say I won't be agreeing to have another one done any time soon. But if it helps sort out my back I guess it was worth it.... Just. In all honesty I think I'd rather have the pain than the panic attack.

Stay safe and out of any coffin like tubes.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Nice Weakness

I'm starting to wonder if I've dealt with so many asshole men that I've lost my ability to deal with sweet guys.

It sounds crazy but over the years and many boyfriends I've become a pro at dealing with jerk man. I've become so good at it normally I can even determine the intent of the jackassness.

Guys act like assholes for many reasons, some complex and some because they are assholes. It takes a lot of experience to work out the cause and more importantly whether it's worth dealing with are not. The answer is normally not.

All that jerkiness I can deal with without batting an eyelash, hell I'm almost good at it but I've recently discovered the not so good at dealing with non-jackass men. My quick wittedness and ability to think on my feet is powerless against them.

Jon sent me a message last night saying “you're a girl that every guy should treasure J”. What am I meant to do with that? There is no quick-witted comeback for that. My only defence is to blush and bury my face. I'm just not used to that.

Normally when a guy says those sorts of things, they do it when they think they have a shot of getting in my pants. I can see through that BS and reply accordingly. I'm really not used to a guy saying those things because he means them.

It takes a lot shake me, I work customer service for many years, you name it I've heard it, and it doesn't faze me, but apparently my weakness is niceness. I just don't know what to do with it. I’m The Honest Bitch not The Honest Sweetheart.

Am I alone in this? Do you find it easier or more comfortable to deal with assholes? Or am I just weird?

As always stay and play safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Happy Super Bowl Sunday

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! I'll be the first to admit I'm not a massive football fan. I understand the game and know what's happening but I find it really slow. With that being said I wouldn't miss the Super Bowl for the world.

I watch for many reasons and none of them are because I enjoy the game.

I watch because it's a connection to home. If I was back home, without a doubt I'd be at a Super Bowl party. Not watching much of the game but it would be on. Truth be told, we’d probably do more drinking and wing eating there anything else. God I miss the wings.

I also watch for the commercials. Yes like millions of people I watch the biggest sporting event of the year for the commercials. People pay upwards of 3 million to have their commercials aired during the Super Bowl. It's fun to see what that 3 million can buy you. I can't watch the ads here, it actually shown on BBC so there aren't any ads at all, but people are quick and that's what the Internet is for.

I also like to watch so I can mock the halftime show. There was a point in time when the halftime show was entertaining then there was the nipple issue and it sucked ever since. But it's fun to laugh at.

The other reason I watch is because it reminds me of family. Growing up my aunt would throw a Christmas party every year and my memories of that are sitting in the basement with all the kids and men. We'd be playing games and they'd watching football. How the hell they managed to watch the game with all that noise I will never know they never missed a play.

So despite not liking the game I'll be awake tonight till the wee hours watching.... and cheering on Tom Brady.... Because he's hot. Yes, when I don't have a team I always cheer on the team with the hottest player and this one was a no-brainer. I'm aware this is a shallow and I don't care.

Who do you think is doing to win tonight? Win or lose I hope you have a fantastic Super Bowl Sunday and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Old Habits Die Hard

In recent months I've been flirting with a new guy, let's call him Jon. He's not my normal type. For starters he doesn't have any ego issues and he's younger than I am. Normally that would be grounds enough for me to write him off but since he's such a sweetheart I decided despite his age to give him a chance and see what happens.

It's not like the older guy thing has been working out so well for me anyways.

Despite him being a sweetheart a few weeks ago he started blowing hot and cold on me and instead of asking Jon what was up, I decided to fall back on an old habit.

I contacted Mr. X. He's what you'd call a safety net. If things turn bad I can always fall back on him. Sounds horrible I know, but he does the same thing to me. We flirt for a few hours or days (depending how bad the damage is), and once our confidence is fully restored we go on about our lives.

This time was different though, instead of trying and failing to separate him from his clothing, I decided to treat him like a failed science experiment and see what I could learn from him.

Despite the fact I want to strangle him a lot of the time, he's helpful in his own twisted way. He took the time to explain to me why guys blow hot and cold. He wasn't so useful in explaining how to fix the problem though. He suggested murder but blood makes me queasy so that idea went out the window.

I managed to sort the issue without following his bloody advice. I did what I should've done in the start and confronted the guy. But Mr. X gave me a lot to think about. Despite being an ass I'm grateful for his advice and ability to lighten the mood. He may be a jerk but he's proven himself a good ally.

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

PS Just for future reference how would you handle a guy (or girl) that was blowing hot and cold?

Red vs Blue

My brain is currently locked in a battle over two competing concepts and there's only one possible way to resolve this dilemma. So...

Standing on my red shoulder standing 5'11" tall representing all things good and honest. The one... The only... NTB

And fighting from my blue shoulder, stand being 6'2" tall, representing all things misleading and game like, Jimmy “The Ego” Jacob

Let's get ready to rumble! Ding, ding, ding

and with the first blow its NTB and his belief that you don't need to play games to be happy in a relationship, quickly followed up by his unwavering belief that a good relationship is based on total honesty.

Landing a shot of his own Jimmy with his belief that guys want what they can't have, followed up by his valid point that social networks turn females crazy.

NTB lands another punch with his point that not playing games makes relationships a lot easier.

Jimmy just misses with his idea that guys hate being compared to anyone. Because we all know guys only hate being compared to people that are better than them.

NTB misses with a punch of his own, the idea that all games are pointless. That is simply untrue. You need some teasing and playing hard to get in a relationship or you’d die of boredom.

But not one to stay down, NTB lands a huge hit with his straightforwardness because we all know men can't read between the lines to save their life.

Not one to be outdone Jimmy fires back with give the guy some space, if he likes you, he'll swallow his pride and make the first move. And he follows that up with a sweet little titbit, if in doubt start dating. Playing on a guy’s built-in jealousy and give him a taste of his own medicine.

In the dying seconds of the last and final round NTB lands a big punch of his own with “treat people how you would want to be treated”.

Ding, ding, ding, this is it, it's all over, it's all comes down to a judge's decision.

Judge 1 gives it to..... Jimmy

Judge 2 gives it to....NTB

And the third and final judge.... Has no freaking clue

While I replay this fight over and over in my head, let me know what you think. Are games in a relationship such a bad thing? Do you need those games to help feel each other out? Or is being totally straightforward from the start the best way to handle things?

Or is purple the answer, a bit from the red shoulder and a bit from the blue?

As always guys, stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Predictable Pig

In my last blog I was telling you about the predictable response to one of my Facebook statuses and there being more to the story, so here it is.

After sending me a bunch of Facebook messages he asked if he could text me. I said ok. He's known me for years and already had my number so it's not like I could stop him if I wanted to. Plus I wanted to see if I could get him to admit he had a girlfriend.

So he started sending me text messages. They started off harmless enough asking about how I was and talking about hockey, then it turned a little flirty. I didn't have a problem with a little harmless flirting.

Then it took a turn crossing that line of things you can't say or text when you're in a relationship. He was aiming for sexting and I wasn't playing that game. I have dealt with my fair share of crazy girlfriends, and I'm not looking to add another one to that list.

He eventually moved back to the harmless side of the line and we said good night and that was that… or so I thought.

For the next few days he would send me messages like “good morning, have a good day :-) x” and “Good morning sexy xx”. This struck me as strange...really strange.

I've dealt with more than my fair share of slimy guys and normally they cover their asses and don't leave a text trail for their girlfriend to find. Side note: beware of guys, who don't have any messages on their phones, they're normally trouble.

This left me wondering if he and his girlfriend broke up or if something happened because that's just not normal behaviour. Plus, part of me really didn't want to believe he was a jerk. He's the first fellow hockey fan I met here, and he comes off as such a sweet guy.

So I went into detective mode and searched his Facebook wall for answers. I didn't find any recent messages from the girlfriend however her display picture was a picture of both of them together but it crossed my mind that she may not have changed it yet, so I continued looking.  Then I saw a message with a name that jumped out at me, it wasn't his girlfriend's name but it was the same surname.

It turned out to be the girlfriend’s mother, and she was joking with him the morning after he messaged me. I can’t be sure but I don't think you'd joke with your daughter's ex-boyfriend on a public Facebook wall if they had just broken up.

So it has left me to conclude that apparently nice guy or not, he is a creep and depending on your definition of cheating, a cheater too.

I guess that only leaves two questions, is sexting classifed as cheating? And does it take two to sext?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo